Sex Big Gay Family Cars For Lame Asses

[Raven]

Is that a Mazda?

 

[caLLous]

Close. It's a Jaguar XF Sportbrake.

 

[TdC]

I don't see a problem with this. Well I do, I can't afford the car I want in Ireland, but I could in the UK, which is just irritating:

Sorry if I don't feel your pain Mr Gaff Living in Yurp as long as I have, I've stopped listening to UK types discussing cars and the price of peas. In Soviet Europe, you pay the car price! Actually, and not joking I considered posting today that you daddies should just get a Porsche Cayenne, because it has lots of space, and a big engine. As they are so heavy and fuel inefficient they are actually cheap to buy on the NL second hand market (because the taxes and fuel costs are so stupendously high here), and them being so "cheap" (read 15k euros for a top range second hand one) lead me to believe that in the UK they are most likely free for anyone who wants one, or perhaps 5 grand tops. That guy with 15k squids could just get three of them and be happy.

 

[Raven]

Close. It's a Jaguar XF Sportbrake.

I know it is, but it looks like a Mazda 6

 

[TdC]

tbh all the sporty stations look the same to me. that said, I saw a Citroën DS5 today and actually liked it. I also like the DS3 0o

 

[Olgaline]

Citroën = Plastic cars!

I'd have this if I could afford it

Spoiler

 

[DaGaffer]

Sorry if I don't feel your pain Mr Gaff Living in Yurp as long as I have, I've stopped listening to UK types discussing cars and the price of peas. In Soviet Europe, you pay the car price! Actually, and not joking I considered posting today that you daddies should just get a Porsche Cayenne, because it has lots of space, and a big engine. As they are so heavy and fuel inefficient they are actually cheap to buy on the NL second hand market (because the taxes and fuel costs are so stupendously high here), and them being so "cheap" (read 15k euros for a top range second hand one) lead me to believe that in the UK they are most likely free for anyone who wants one, or perhaps 5 grand tops. That guy with 15k squids could just get three of them and be happy.

Porsche Cayenne's are fuck ugly though. Otherwise I would buy one for 15 grand! Although I'm not really a fan of SUVs in general (If someone wanted to give me the new Range Rover Sport I wouldn't say no...) because they always seem a bit pointless if you're not a. a farmer, b. about to cross the Kalahari. Their main purpose seems to be to allow yummy mummies to act like arseholes in supermarket carparks.

 

[old.Tohtori]

Give 'em a break, they're used to parking on the pole.

 

[TdC]

Citroën = Plastic cars!

less rust. also, they're pretty. you have big cars on the brain, and the one you post as an example has an interiour the colour of what comes out of Wij after a particularly bad take-away vindaloo

Porsche Cayenne's are fuck ugly though. Otherwise I would buy one for 15 grand! Although I'm not really a fan of SUVs in general (If someone wanted to give me the new Range Rover Sport I wouldn't say no...) because they always seem a bit pointless if you're not a. a farmer, b. about to cross the Kalahari. Their main purpose seems to be to allow yummy mummies to act like arseholes in supermarket carparks.

yeah I hear you. a workmate spends his time doing up (very) old land rovers and he tells me that the ones meant for off-road/bad conditions drive like shit on proper roads, and the ones meant for roads are an abomination that said, you did make me look up Range Rovers on the NL autotrader. 15K gets you a full optioned RR Sport from 2005. So, you can get fast-ish cars that have nice leather and chrome things inside (ooh err), yet carry many pax and bags and stuff. With the LR you may actually have enough space to do a LPG conversion. Doesn't make the car itself any prettier though

 

[Tom]

I looked at Cayennes but they apparently go through tyres like nobody's business. Tyres for a car that size won't be cheap.

 

[TdC]

I don't know exactly what you mean by cheap but I'm having two front tyres changed on the GT for Michelin ones next month. Will let you know how that works out.

That aside: a quick internets search tells me a tyre for a 911 at 305/30 R19 costs 251 bits of cheese cheapest I saw (443 most expensive) and a Cayenne tyre at the same R size 265/50 R19 costs 215 in Eurolands (250 most expensive)

To compare, a BMW M Series tyre (265/40 R18) starts at 174 and ends at 233
M04r compare: Alfa GT at 205/55 R16 starts at 60 cheeses and ends at 161

so judging from that I'd say your price is loosely comparable with the width of your tyre and it's rim diameter (excluding specialist tyres).

 

[Wazzerphuk]

RIM

 

[Olgaline]

less rust. also, they're pretty.

No! they're ugly!

you have big cars on the brain

I suggested a bloody Mondeo, so screw you!

and the one you post as an example has an interiour the colour of what comes out of Wij after a particularly bad take-away vindaloo

But i thought you liked that sort of thing, especially comming out of who-you-ma-call-him ?


Here is one you might appreciate:
Alfa Romeo 159 2,4 Sportwagon

 

[DaGaffer]

As a three-time Alfa owner. No-more. I can't take it.

 

[Olgaline]

As a three-time Alfa owner. No-more. I can't take it.

but it's pweetie?

 

[DaGaffer]

Yeah, really pretty when its blown up by the side of the road.

 

[TdC]

really odd or I'm just lucky, but mechanically my GT is sound as a bell. I spend a fortune on preventative maint though 0o

 

[Wazzerphuk]

You spent as much as I bought my car 10 years ago for the other week. I laughed so hard at you.

 

[TdC]

sure thing. like I said on fb my first car (Seat) was like that: I was given it for free, and I ran it for 4 years and nothing ever broke and I had no extra costs. the first so-called good brand car (VW) I bought I had a shitload of repairs on running it for three years. This Alfa GT I've had now for...uh...two? years and I have had a major maint cost because I hit 140.000 km and I let them do the works on distribution chain, balance belts and water pump. I do not expect other costs to ever occur (knocks on wood). I suppose strategically I should have sold the car before this happened but tbh I did not have the time or inclination to do so. the GT's a sweet car and I love it

 

[DaGaffer]

My 145 Cloverleaf was sweet as a nut, didn't miss a beat and we took it all over Europe. The GTV that followed it; two clutch failures and a wheel bearing failure in two years, and the 156 that followed that, Jesus, five trips to get the Selespeed actuators and other gearbox issues fixed and a total cam chain meltdown at 18K miles. Never again. It was a BMW after that, although I was still dumb enough to try a Brera a few years later; fortunately it was a rubbish drive, and now Alfa don't sell anything useful for me (at least not at the moment). I'm a total sucker for Italian cars and I've had to wean myself off them for good.

 

[TdC]

unlucky mate, though I have heard *really* bad things about Selespeed in general and having driven one in a sporty Fiat with way too many horses I dislike them, although I must say when using the flippers to shift at least you could work out when the car was going to actually do it...sort of

Sad to hear your experience with the Brera. I *deeply* love the Brera and want to sex it up every day and lick it's V6 everywhere. Unfortunately (for the Brera) I am currently having an affair with the Audi A5, which is pretty (for a German), more practical (than a Brera) and on paper MUCH more fuel efficient. The older Alfa V6 just gulps down fuel, whereas (once again on paper) the Audi's newer V6 FSI engine at least pretends to do something with it before converting it in to noise and heat.

Given that us Yurpeons actually have to PAY for fuel rather than you (not you, Gaff) UK types getting it practically FOR FREE I am more partial to the latter. Last time I bothered noticing it, the price of peas was about 1.72 euros per liter, or about 7 million pounds per gil, ell, cubit, or whatever the hell volume measurement the Queen's royal measurers make you use

 

[Wazzerphuk]

So... you're paying about 5p more per litre than we are. FREE.

 

[TdC]

5p a liter is a lot when your car does 1:9

 

[Cerb]

I can nearly hear the music off the Hovis advert.

This is what I heard:


View: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-qJd8zDpnaM

 

[Kronic]

Similar story to me. Just had a sprog and needed a new car and needed the boot space for both the buggy, set of golf clubs and all the other bits and bobs that come with a child. I wanted something diesel, 2 liter, very good MPG and quick on the roads (0-62 in less than 9secs). I went for a Vauxhall Insignia S/S Eco Flex. Tax is only £30 a year.

So far, very pleased with it.

 

[Wazzerphuk]

Pretty sure golf clubs don't come with children. That would be a messy birth.

 

[Kronic]

Pretty sure golf clubs don't come with children. That would be a messy birth.

haha, easiest way to explain how much space there is in the boot.

For just under £14k and 6k on the clock it is a good car.

 

[TdC]

maaan I've been fapping to the S4 avant for the last 15 minutes (yes ladies, I have staying power). V8, 344 horses. 10 years old and under 15K europes. wooo. I was thinking "fuck me I can chuck like 10 mountain bikes and kit in the back" and then I remembered that it may be unlikely that I hit the woods again ever and I felt bad so I looked at BMW 1 series with the redic 130+ engines for a bit to cheer myself up

 

[Olgaline]

You sir, bought the wrong car

Ps:
I hope you were smart enough to get the 3,2 V6 version yes ?
Oh, and thats a gay colour - very brave, bravo looks great

 

[TdC]

heh at the time I bought my GT I did't even know there was a V6 version then I lusted after a Brera for many moons with a V6 3.2, which funnily enough is cheaper than the Brera 1.750 turbo (because the 1750 is economical with the fuel so the lovely Dutch government raises the taxes and thus the expense on it). I also like the 2.0 tsi VW Sirocco although that car does scream "chav nouveau riche" in many languages but most most most likely I will get something like the Bimmer 125 series if it ever becomes viable for me to trade in the Alfa