Next wednesday I take my first vacation in years.
I got my train tickets on Saturday, am slightly concerned that I will miss one of my trains but as long as it's not the swish first class one I don't mind (it'll all be part of the adventure) and am alreally really excited!
It'll be the first time I've seen my grandpa in about a decade, am a bit worried that I might be um; well hehe, tattoos half a ton of metal in one ear you know? And I really hope he likes me, I mean we chat via email but it's all superficial stuff like general every day doings and the weather so actually talking in person...well it's quite nerve wracking!
Have also changed my MO when it comes to this kind of thing and have not planned it down to the smallest detail, that was the old me I used to be meticulous in my ability to design and implement any form of expedition (from shopping to going away on holiday) but now I think well, the travel and stuff is all part of my vacation so if I see something that looks quite interesting I am going to detour and go off and see that rather than head towards my objective with grim determination because sometimes it is only to find once I get there that it wasn't actually as good as anticipated and I could have had more fun on the trip rather than at the actual destination (hold up there kids, Ez just went zen!)
It's true though, the further this year progresses the more I think about stuff like this and think about all the time and experiences people waste and miss out on because they are so bloody minded and dead set on one particular goal.
I also feel a bit strange about it all, I mean it will be the first time in 9 years I have spent that particular date on my own (would of been the 9th anniversary for the ez and b2 show) and not spend the whole day doing everything in my powers to make sure someone else has the best day possible; it's an odd thought.
So on one hand there's excitement and on the other there is a feeling that it will be like attending a small funeral, which in a way I suppose it is. Am really very much looking forward to the whole experience though and just had to write down (in this disgustingly long post) just what is fizzing away in my head, all these different feelings about something should actually make me feel rather worried and possibly a bit sick, but being the strange little person I am (just like Gonzo, but with a smaller nose and not blue) I'm actually really rather excited about getting my teeth into something that is not 100% safe and seeing where it'll land me.
I got my train tickets on Saturday, am slightly concerned that I will miss one of my trains but as long as it's not the swish first class one I don't mind (it'll all be part of the adventure) and am alreally really excited!
It'll be the first time I've seen my grandpa in about a decade, am a bit worried that I might be um; well hehe, tattoos half a ton of metal in one ear you know? And I really hope he likes me, I mean we chat via email but it's all superficial stuff like general every day doings and the weather so actually talking in person...well it's quite nerve wracking!
Have also changed my MO when it comes to this kind of thing and have not planned it down to the smallest detail, that was the old me I used to be meticulous in my ability to design and implement any form of expedition (from shopping to going away on holiday) but now I think well, the travel and stuff is all part of my vacation so if I see something that looks quite interesting I am going to detour and go off and see that rather than head towards my objective with grim determination because sometimes it is only to find once I get there that it wasn't actually as good as anticipated and I could have had more fun on the trip rather than at the actual destination (hold up there kids, Ez just went zen!)
It's true though, the further this year progresses the more I think about stuff like this and think about all the time and experiences people waste and miss out on because they are so bloody minded and dead set on one particular goal.
I also feel a bit strange about it all, I mean it will be the first time in 9 years I have spent that particular date on my own (would of been the 9th anniversary for the ez and b2 show) and not spend the whole day doing everything in my powers to make sure someone else has the best day possible; it's an odd thought.
So on one hand there's excitement and on the other there is a feeling that it will be like attending a small funeral, which in a way I suppose it is. Am really very much looking forward to the whole experience though and just had to write down (in this disgustingly long post) just what is fizzing away in my head, all these different feelings about something should actually make me feel rather worried and possibly a bit sick, but being the strange little person I am (just like Gonzo, but with a smaller nose and not blue) I'm actually really rather excited about getting my teeth into something that is not 100% safe and seeing where it'll land me.
Don't worry - just enjoy it & relax
