Why do people get married?

Huntingtons

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well. so if you found the women of your dreams, you knew it was her you wanted to spent your life with, though you dont see a point in it but not dispise it, she wanted marriage, would you then marriage? its hardly a big deal it seems.
 

old.Tohtori

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well. so if you found the women of your dreams, you knew it was her you wanted to spent your life with, though you dont see a point in it but not dispise it, she wanted marriage, would you then marriage? its hardly a big deal it seems.

Nope 'cause that wouldn't be the woman of my dreams :D

If i find someone who wants to spend her whole life with me, she'll be a person who doesn't need/want to get married. There's plenty you know.
 

Huntingtons

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so if she was perfect in every way, execpt on that point - you'd skip her?
 

old.Tohtori

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so if she was perfect in every way, execpt on that point - you'd skip her?

If it was a dealbreaker, yes.

Believe it or not.

Like i said, i'm not changing on "major" things like that. Even if it seems ridicilous, and even if i dno't find marriage horrible or something i couldn't endure, it's a matter of me and changing who i am.

If you want to put it in perspective, use what EQ said: If i said "I don't want kids at all", and met a perfect woman in every way except that, would i change my mind? No.

If a woman didn't want children, and met the perfect man, would she change her mind? Well, dunno, but it probably wouldn't go down easy.

Though if she was perfect in every other way, she'd understand it and it wouldn't be a dealbreaker ;)
 

Calaen

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How the hell do you even begin to cover this ground early on in a relationship?

I mean at what point do you tell her that you do not want to get married nor have a biological child with her? before it gets serious? or after it gets serious?

Changing your mind on something is not changing who you are!
 

old.Tohtori

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How the hell do you even begin to cover this ground early on in a relationship?

I mean at what point do you tell her that you do not want to get married nor have a biological child with her? before it gets serious? or after it gets serious?

Changing your mind on something is not changing who you are!

After your last post, i don't think i should even talk to you, let alone amuse you with anything more then a shun, but...

What i cover in a relationship and how early is none of your concern, i do things my way, you do yours your way, i don't judge you...lovely isn't it? And when it does become an issue, if it's a week or 10 years, then like i said, i wouldn't change my mind.

Changing how i think and what i want changes me. Ofcourse it does. If i say "i like drugs!" after my whole ife saying "i don't like drugs", it's a change.

If i want kids after i don't want kids, again, changed. I'm in a place where i know exactly who i am and what i want, i'm ahppy, i', completely in the clear of my life and now i'm enjoying the trip. Why should i F*kc it up by re-evaluating my choices and/or morals?

Part of me is that i don't want to get married, why is that such a problem for you? Did you want to have my kid and marry me?

In short, why the F*CK do you care so much?
 

old.Whoodoo

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I got married at 19, divorced at 21, tbh I cant remember why the hell I went there in the first place. Truely, I remember saying "lets get married" and the next thing I know Im in the pub opposite the church with my dad pouring Jack Daniels down my neck before strolling down the isle in front of 200 people with "HELP ME" written on the bottom of my shoes.

The divorce thing came because my willy kept falling into other women, then I got bored of my job working for my father in law, who was a tool anyway, getting 4 points on my licence for doing 58 in a 30 limit. Not bad for one day eh.

Why did I? Beats me, I fall into the "something to do" category of people. I loved my ex, still do truth be known, I saw greener grass which ended that, but I cant say there was one decent reason I can think of, and if you ask her the same she would prolly say "I was mental but Im better now".

I have not married since, but my GF wants to do the whole white-picket-fence-2.4 children-dog called rover thing, and I cant think of one good reason to do it. Sure shes tiptop, we get along great and no complaints in any dept (other than a lack of off button), but for the life of me I cant think why I would want to do it again.

I guess before it seemed like the 'onourable fing to do, knocking her up and all, but the divorce was a mess start to finish, and we all know how high the chances of that repeating itself are. I have asked my current missus why shes so adamant to tie the knot, and her reply was "blah blah biological clock blah blah day to remember blah blah", to which I replied (yes I said this) "so nothing a test tube of jism and a trip to Butlins couldnt do the same?". I wont be getting married, and shes now looking for a trade in. C'est la vie.

Why others do it, some for love, some for financial gains (there used to be decent tax breaks), some because its "de right fing to like yer", some just to show off to others, some due to pressure from their families, maybe some because they lost their mess in the throws of passion resulting in a condition known us "up the duff" and the ladies father happens to be 7 feet tall and owns a pig farm and a large chopping knife.

Different strokes, do things for so many reasons, but personally, screw missing the F1 or a footy game on a saturday afternoon just to blow £15k on a single day dressed as a penguin.
 

Calaen

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After your last post, i don't think i should even talk to you, let alone amuse you with anything more then a shun, but...

What i cover in a relationship and how early is none of your concern, i do things my way, you do yours your way, i don't judge you...lovely isn't it? And when it does become an issue, if it's a week or 10 years, then like i said, i wouldn't change my mind.

Changing how i think and what i want changes me. Ofcourse it does. If i say "i like drugs!" after my whole ife saying "i don't like drugs", it's a change.

If i want kids after i don't want kids, again, changed. I'm in a place where i know exactly who i am and what i want, i'm ahppy, i', completely in the clear of my life and now i'm enjoying the trip. Why should i F*kc it up by re-evaluating my choices and/or morals?

Part of me is that i don't want to get married, why is that such a problem for you? Did you want to have my kid and marry me?

In short, why the F*CK do you care so much?


Going through your whole life without changing your mind once eh? you are full of shit. It must be so hard being you.

I gave you my opinion at the start of the thread a proper response as usual you constantly responded yeah I know that but.... to everyone that was in favour of it.
 

old.Tohtori

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Going through your whole life without changing your mind once eh? you are full of shit. It must be so hard being you.

I gave you my opinion at the start of the thread a proper response as usual you constantly responded yeah I know that but.... to everyone that was in favour of it.

Not saying "going through my life without changing my mind once", i said i've gotten to the point(28 atm) where i know my major ideas, what i want, what i think etc. Getting married, not in my wants, don't want to. and it's actually quite easy being me when i don't have to stress about pointless stuff.

About me being "yeah i know but...", i answered to your original point:

"Yes ofcourse and i get the semantic behind it, i'm jsut curious to the overall why. Best answer i guess is the "they want to", and i'm ofcourse, ofcourse, not saying they shouldn't."

(sarcasm)Gee, i really was against you getting married or some such to warrant you attacking my lifechoice with some bullsh*t about living alone, without kids, without job etc. I really dismissed everyones opinions because i asked for more or definitions because i didn't yet understand the whys behind it.(/sarcasm)

Full of sh*t because i don't want to get married? Right, take a look in the mirror.

So i'm asking you again, why the hell is it such a problem to YOU that I don't want to get married? What is your major malfunction here?
 

Calaen

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I do not mean you are full of shit for not wanting to get married. I just do not believe there is a person on this planet that a the age of 28 is happy to say he will never change his mind on certain issues.

It is pointless us discussing it anymore you don't understand me, I don't understand you. Its been a while since we talked like this :p

I suppose a postcard is out of the question!!!
 

old.Tohtori

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I do not mean you are full of shit for not wanting to get married. I just do not believe there is a person on this planet that a the age of 28 is happy to say he will never change his mind on certain issues.

It is pointless us discussing it anymore you don't understand me, I don't understand you. Its been a while since we talked like this :p

I suppose a postcard is out of the question!!!

Not at all, i don't take things personally anymore than i change my mind on major things :D

I don't undersstand you not understanding, true even if i get what you mean by what you say, just that i'm not.

Hard, i know.
 

Ezteq

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How the hell do you even begin to cover this ground early on in a relationship?

tbh i made it know very very early on in my relationship that kids were a no no, i think its unfair to lead people on or even give them the hope that some day, maybe, you might change your mind. i said to him if he did want kids he'd best get out now.
 

Calaen

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tbh i made it know very very early on in my relationship that kids were a no no, i think its unfair to lead people on or even give them the hope that some day, maybe, you might change your mind. i said to him if he did want kids he'd best get out now.

I myself told my wife within the first year that I wanted children.
 

Ezteq

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I myself told my wife within the first year that I wanted children.
so did john wayne gacey...but i suspect he meant in a different way


thats the thing, you have to let em know. I mean i know gals especially have a bad rep for expecting blokes to "know what there thinking" i never expect B2 to know what im thinking unless im drooling and looking at either his crotch or the fridge...in which case the answer is obvious.

its really unfair not to tell someone you never want kids or never want to be married...or never gonna take it up the butt Oo you have to let people know these things before they invest/waste their time with you.
 

Billargh

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It was meant to be a pisstake of everyone disagreeing with everything you say Toto, cool down :mad: You've got your opinions, I've got mine, others have theirs, I'm sure some people can respect that.
 

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