whilst the forum is on the subject of odd subjects....

[old.user4556]

One wipers.

Now that's a jobby I like to do.

 

[mycenae]

Being a childrens nurse, I can merrily talk about poo, vomit, sputum, wee and all sorts of stuff like that for hours on end. In fact, most bodily functions I find quite amusing and normally have at least one silly or gross story to tell.

 

[old.user4556]

Nothing makes me laugh more than going into the gents at work that has a line of about 6 cubicles where only one door is vacant.

You go in, lock the door, drop trou and sit down; then someone in the adjacent cubicle lets a bellowing, toilet bowl echoed, wet ripper of a fart with sheer pride. I have to bite onto something to stop laughing.

Sometimes it's like frogs talking to each other at a swamp; various pops and rips from different cubicles.

 

[Yoni]

hahahahahahahahahhahhhahaha I actually can not poo / fart whilst someone else is in the ladies however I do actually laugh out loud should any one else make any noises

 

[chipper]

Nothing makes me laugh more than going into the gents at work that has a line of about 6 cubicles where only one door is vacant.

You go in, lock the door, drop trou and sit down; then someone in the adjacent cubicle lets a bellowing, toilet bowl echoed, wet ripper of a fart with sheer pride. I have to bite onto something to stop laughing.

Sometimes it's like frogs talking to each other at a swamp; various pops and rips from different cubicles.

the best one is the one tryin to keep it quiet that is just hilarious hear em pullin the toilet paper slowly lol and coughing when they tear it lol

 

[haarewin]

What wierd subjects are other people obsessed with

Perfume. I could go on for hours about it. I just love it, sniffing it, analysing it, writing about it, talking about it... I'd love to learn how to make it. 7 years to train an average Perfumer though.

On the subject of poo though, I usually go twice a day. I don't know if it's normal or if I'm some kinda freak, cuz my Dad used to go once a week - on a Sunday - and upstairs would stink until the next day. I expect that's unhealthy.

OH! Also, does anyone ever take a Berocca (fizzy vitamin tablet thing) then get luminous wee? I was fumbling for the lightswitch in the bathroom one morning, gave up because I really needed to go and I swear it was glowing in the bowl. My Auntie once told me she gets purple wee if she drinks Ribena.

 

[Aoami]

I get neon piss if i take berocca or any other soluable multi vitamins. The different flavours turn it different colours.

 

[haarewin]

^ I didn't think of different flavours/different colour. HMM!

 

[Ormorof]

i can sometimes smell what flavour pringles ive eaten from my pee

 

[TdC]

hahahahahahahahahhahhhahaha I actually can not poo / fart whilst someone else is in the ladies however I do actually laugh out loud should any one else make any noises

hmm there are times I have great difficulty peeing if anyone is near me :/

 

[DaGaffer]

hmm there are times I have great difficulty peeing if anyone is near me :/

So you can rest your dick on a pachyderm but you're bladder-shy? Your mind works in very mysterious ways my friend.

 

[TdC]

elephants are fine. it's people I have issues with :/

 

[Fweddy]

Are you sure? Have you ever tried to urinate in the presence of an elephant?

 

[TdC]

um no, I must admit I have not. though now that I have arranged access to an elephant I may give it a go.

 

[nath]

You know Charlie Brooker made a documentary about people who have trouble urinating around others. I think he really made a difference, you should check it out.

 

[TdC]

I'll google it tonight

 

[nath]

In case you can access iPlayer:

BBC iPlayer - Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe: Series 4: Episode 4

 

[mycenae]

Pooing once or twice a day is actually very healthy. And yes, Berocca will definitly make your wee luminous orange or yellow, as will most water soluble vitamin preparations. Asparagus makes wee smell very odd, but its a very distinctive smell, and beetroot will make wee a pinky purple colour, so I should imagine that ribena would do the same if you drank enough of it.
When I first started training as a student, my first placement in my 2nd year was on a paediatric and neonatal gastro ward. My first job was grading poo,' and I kid you not. I row of nappies, a spatula and a sheet of paper with gradings from 1-7 and a space for comments. I think I remember one of my comments as being ,'colour and consistency of butterscotch angel delight!' and I graded it a 5.
(if anyone is interested, the gradings indicate the solidity of the poo - 1 being very hard almost rock like pellets, 7 being water with tiny little seedy bits of poo!)

 

[old.user4556]

Pooing once or twice a day is actually very healthy.

I'm two to three times a day.

Once in the morning about 10 minutes after I've eaten breakfast, once in the afternoon and sometimes in the evening depending on the size of the dinner.

 

[mycenae]

Did you know that poo takes in between 12-24 hours in a healhy system to become poo? So actually what you're pooing out is going to be the meal or 2 meals before what you've just eaten.....unless its the squits, in whcih case....well, its obvious, no need for details!

 

[Stoffokles]

I don't want to know how you "stimulate" your bowels, you dirty bumfiddler

Upon reading this I was extremely tempted to say something along the lines of 'I thought that was my job? '.
It's a good thing I'm such a class act and didn't, eh? (hi btw)

 

[rynnor]

My poo sinks so fast it cracks the bowl.

It's black too (unless I've had 20 pints and a vindaloo).

Hmm - do you get any stomach cramps or anything? Black poo can indicate internal bleeding amongst other things - you might want to see your doctor about that.

 

[Yoni]

I am two to three times a day also. Today I discovered a new kind of poo called the cramp poo.... I woke up and felt icky... on the bus I had the most intense pain.... on getting to work I went to the bathroom the most AMAZING relief I then proceeded to go normally twice more... once after lunch and once when I got home.

I am also obsessed with kittens and can talk about them when not conversing about poo..

 

[haarewin]

I am also obsessed with kittens and can talk about them when not conversing about poo..

What if the kitten poos?

 

[Yoni]

it gets show where the lit tray is...

 

[TdC]

what if you swallow a kitten?

 

[Yoni]

Maybe it comes out whole....

 

[TdC]

what if it lives and poohs inside you while you're pooping it out?

 

[mr.Blacky]

what if it lives and poohs inside you while you're pooping it out?

so is this the reason why your poo is black?

my topics are usually a bit more boring, usually in Dutch about a nice looking girl who hopefully doesnt understand what i am saying. Not a good thing when I did the same in Holland during my holidays.

 

[old.user4556]

YouTube - Bowl Blaster Farts