When does wanking become excessive?

[Zenith.UK]

blah!
some of you lot are crazy,
these days I can hardly muster up once in a while, and thats if I'm lucky.

with work, kids and school... well often your just too tired to bother with wanking or sexoring the GF

Ahhh... the reality of kids and marriage.
Usual sexoring time is in the middle of the night when the kids are asleep?

 

[ilaya]

while watching Loose Women then the repeat on itv2 later on

 

[Thadius]

Ahhh... the reality of kids and marriage.
Usual sexoring time is in the middle of the night when the kids are asleep?

This couple manage!

 

[soze]

Ahhh... the reality of kids and marriage.
Usual sexoring time is in the middle of the night when the kids are asleep?

Im worried about that me an my gf were babysitting my 5 year old cousin who went to sleep at about 9, I tried to get some action later and got shut down in case my cousin hears. This does not bode well for having kids with this woman

 

[Thadius]

Im worried about that me an my gf were babysitting my 5 year old cousin who went to sleep at about 9, I tried to get some action later and got shut down in case my cousin hears. This does not bode well for having kids with this woman

Well, it wouldnt be your fault Soze, tell your woman to stop moaning like the vn boards after a new patch is released! :<

 

[soze]

Well, it wouldnt be your fault Soze, tell your woman to stop moaning like the vn boards after a new patch is released! :<

No its me a sequel like a pig and grunt like a rhino with asthma

 

[TdC]

lolfail. I hate it when that happens. "my parents/baby brother/neighbours/cat/the police/dog/random people will hear". kay then babes, I'll just have a noisy wank on your inhibitions

 

[Thadius]

No its me a sequel like a pig and grunt like a rhino with asthma

Wear a ballgag then ffs!

 

[TdC]

but he does!

 

[Thadius]

video of Soze having sexor!

Spoiler

YouTube - Family Guy - Kinky Cows

 

[soze]

I’m not a cow im just enthusiastic Woman love a tryer!!

 

[old.Tohtori]

No wont start a new thread .... just think you should make them applicable to all inhabitants of the forums thats all

Equal rights, female power and all that. Do your own damn job, you lost that "do stuff for us" right long ago

The poll is, outside the 4th option, bi-gender.

 

[Mikah75]

how long does the average wank take for you lot to complete?

10-15 mins usually

 

[fettoken]

Wear a ballgag then ffs!

It's the solution to all things!

 

[Olgaline]

Ahhh... the reality of kids and marriage.
Usual sexoring time is in the middle of the night when the kids are asleep?

hehe, close
but here's the really disturbing thing.....and yes "I should be shot and have my liberties revoked" but it's not Her, it's me! I'm the one turning down hankipankies and sexorings.

 

[fettoken]

Oh, when wanking becomes excessive. Let me think. I guess when you start shooting blood instead of jizz.

 

[Ingafgrinn Macabre]

If it interferes with your regular life and job etc, then it's too much. Until that, yank that pony as much as you'd like...

 

[Ezteq]

Had a conversation about this down the pub ....

lol I wish I lived near your pub! the reason i don't go to pubs is because down here we don't have people like you in them, i.e. people who come up with all these great conversations and theories!


...also you can't smoke in em and the grog is too expensive; but mainly because the people are boring.

 

[Mikah75]

No comments about being a champion bean flicker ez ?

 

[cHodAX]

lol I wish I lived near your pub! the reason i don't go to pubs is because down here we don't have people like you in them, i.e. people who come up with all these great conversations and theories!


...also you can't smoke in em and the grog is too expensive; but mainly because the people are boring.

Yeah my part of Manchester is still pretty good for stupid conversations in pubs, especially the old type pubs with no pool table, no jukebox and a tiny little TV. It is either talk or go the fuck home which is what going to the pub is supposed to be, socialising!

I would never go to a pub to watch football again though, too many fucking nubbers out there calling themselves football fans these days but all they are really interested in is causing aggro.

 

[Vasconcelos]

lol I wish I lived near your pub! the reason i don't go to pubs is because down here we don't have people like you in them, i.e. people who come up with all these great conversations and theories!


...also you can't smoke in em and the grog is too expensive; but mainly because the people are boring.

Heh

So it is ok if sum1 tries to hit on you with moves like "wanna hear my theory about when wanking becomes excesive?" or "would you rather drown or be burnt alive?"

 

[Ezteq]

hell yes, i'd take that over no one talking because they are too busy making sure they are holding their drinks at the exact angle so everyone can see the label and see how cool and expensive their booze is!

And as for the bean bouncing, I haven't done that for ages...unless you count last week when B2 came home and I was performing a scientific experiment; sat on the washing machine on spin cycle to see if it actually worked, had to do all kinds of athletic manouvres and stuff to get in the right position and in short... it didnt work so we made dinner.

 

[Thadius]

And as for the bean bouncing, I haven't done that for ages...unless you count last week when B2 came home and I was performing a scientific experiment; sat on the washing machine on spin cycle to see if it actually worked, had to do all kinds of athletic manouvres and stuff to get in the right position and in short... it didnt work so we made dinner.

Erm Ezteq, you have to have sex on top of the washing machine, not just put the dirty clothes in and watch it spin round.

No wonder you were bored!

 

[Ezteq]

oh fgs! hush child and go make a poll somewhere...legend has it ( as it is written in Ye Olde Joye of Sexe... 1972) that "...a gal can achieve squirtism if she sittith upponith the washing machineith while it reachethith full spin..ith"


there may possibly be something about it being a full moon and an allignment of the planets, eye of newt and wing of bat but i got lost after all the ith's tbhist

 

[CorNokZ]

Oh, when wanking becomes excessive. Let me think. I guess when you start shooting blood instead of jizz.

FUCK!!

*grabs coat and runs to doctor*

 

[Thadius]

FUCK!!

*grabs coat and runs to doctor*

You could have just done your bird before she is due to start her period.


I did that once, man I got a shock when my knob was all bloody

 

[fettoken]

You could have just done your bird before she is due to start her period.


I did that once, man I got a shock when my knob was all bloody

Hahahahhaha fail boi




uhm, yeah i'd get properly shocked if i had a similar scenario.

 

[Vasconcelos]

And as for the bean bouncing, I haven't done that for ages...unless you count last week when B2 came home and I was performing a scientific experiment; sat on the washing machine on spin cycle to see if it actually worked, had to do all kinds of athletic manouvres and stuff to get in the right position and in short... it didnt work so we made dinner.

Oh thats kinkeh!

Sounds like a variation of the Dutch Rudder©

 

[Aoami]

you're not a man untill your nob has been covered in blood at some point

 

[Mikah75]

you're not a man untill your nob has been covered in blood at some point

you vile human being