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Ekydus

Guest
So, en mass an army of female grey conned mobs were pulled from every direction. The Hibernians were happy.

But, In the not too far distance loud screams and laughter could be heard. "What the f00k? Teh Albs r liek enjoying emselves or somefink" proclaimed Novamir in his mysterious native tongue. "This will not stand!" screamed Stormriderx as he dropped from a branch of a tree. "Yes. They must never be happy." smirked Lofff, as he beant to the ground and picked up a stone, before crushing it in his hand.

All of a sudden 2 lonely Infiltrators browsing the Pennies caught glimpse of the sight ahead. "OMG" whispered Meduza to Samildanach, as they creeped toward the army. "Look! It's VodkaFairy!" announced Samildanach, then with a nod Meduza and Samildanach simutaniously launched an attack on the little Lurikeen, alas she fell... Then without warning the two Infiltrators left as quickly as they had came. Stormriderx peered over his shoulder. He quickly noticed something was wrong. He scanned the horizon and found VodkaFairy, lifeless on the floor. He picked up her body with a tear in his eye and proceeded to march toward Castle Sauvage, followed closely by his army of Hibernians...
 
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loxleyhood

Guest
Loxleyhood, who apparently had burned with acid, was understandably not best pleased and went off to play Warcraft 3. However, unbeknowst to him he left DAoC running, with terrible consequences.........
 
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samildanachh

Guest
The Evil Ranger Alderian had ambushed loxleyhood while he was away. He had robbed loxleyhood of all his 19plat. Alas loxleyhood was cut into 4 pieces and sent to the 4 corners of Hibernia, from which Novamir hoped it would detur future invaders. However he was wrong as just then 2 Infs jumped over DL........
 
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loxleyhood

Guest
Oh yeah, everyone beat up the scout so the infis can do their hero thing. :p
 
S

samildanachh

Guest
within 2miles of getting past Dl the heroic infiltartors were waylaid by their rival's of Odins gate-Sargeras and Slytale. After much negotion the 2 ns's decided to join Meduza and Samildanach in their quest to obtain the remains of loxleyhood's body. And with that they would hope to recover these pieces and return to Vestubla Abbey with which the priests had the power to bring the great scout back to life. However just then Stormriderx came into view,obviously cowering out from the RR, he flashed his uber expensive glowy swords at the 4 assasins and then ran away to alert the Hibernian's of the invaders and the 2 trecherous ns's.
 
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loxleyhood

Guest
meanwhile the disembodied spirit of Loxleyhood specterally volley'd the whole of mtk killing every aug shaman in sight. Suddenly half of emain collapsed in on itself.
 
E

Ekydus

Guest
However... Loxleyhood's luck had not yet ran out. Herbal, being mildly intoxicated had taken to him, in the good way. She was determined to heal him back to regular health and was proving that she had no bikini line. Loxleyhood quickly remembered his Scout training, Herbal most be looking for secrets... she most be seducing him for these secrets... she was a spy. Loxleyhood jumped up and gave Herbal a slap around the face, much to the distress of Gunnerr. Gunnerr walked toward the Scout and lifted him into the air by his throat. "Aghh ugh mmph!" wheezed Loxleyhood. "Eh?" replied Gunnerr. "It's not what you think!" Loxleyhood squirmed for freedom but alas the health that was restored to him was seconds later taken away again by the angry Armsman and the poor Scout was in a corner of the castle in a heap, unconscious.

Meduza and Samildanach returned from the Pennines screaming. "Yeah... Happy hour!" hiccupped the Paladin, Ekydus as he stumpled about searching for his feet. "The Hibernians... they're coming!" protested Meduza, before shaking the Paladin into semi-consciousness. "Eh?" replied Ekydus, "Hibernians... In our frontier? Hah... you must be joking." laughed the Paladin. Meduza proceeded to pin Ekydus to the ground, much to the amusement of Whyp, who at the time was challenging anyone and everyone to fisticuffs, to the death. "This is not a joke. They are coming!" despaired Meduza, alas the happy Albions could not be reached in their hour of need.

Marching footsteps could be heard in the frontier, Novamir's army was moving into position.

Meanwhile, in Midgard, land of the dull... A little Kobold named Hatt was handing out maps to player's homes. When a mystic approached him. "You must warn the Midgardians!" announced the stranger. "Map?" replied Hatt. "You must warn the Midgardians little blue Kobold. The Albions need you. Stop your intolerance of each other for one day. For the good of Excalibur, they need you in their time of need little one." Then, with a puff of smoke the stranger disappeared, then reappeared behind a tree, before running off into the darkness coughing. "Ahh I think I understand!" announced Hatt to himself... "The prophecy of the zone crash... It is coming true!"
 
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[NP]ArlaHaren

Guest
(off thread)
Haha Ekydys, goood reading, give us more =)
 
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old.MikhailGudlik

Guest
Originally posted by Ekydus
Suddenly, Tilda's Reaver came whipping over MMG, in a hang glider, dropping candy floss for everyone; causing all of the Kobolds and Lurikeens to unstealth and join a mass orgy of sexual acts and eating candyfloss in the process.

Tilda's Reaver landed and whipped out a video recorder to send into one of those crappy shows where you get paid for sending in video clips...
Click to expand...
omfg
 
V

vintervargen

Guest
Originally posted by Ekydus
However... Loxleyhood's luck had not yet ran out. Herbal, being mildly intoxicated had taken to him, in the good way. She was determined to heal him back to regular health and was proving that she had no bikini line. Loxleyhood quickly remembered his Scout training, Herbal most be looking for secrets... she most be seducing him for these secrets... she was a spy. Loxleyhood jumped up and gave Herbal a slap around the face, much to the distress of Gunnerr. Gunnerr walked toward the Scout and lifted him into the air by his throat. "Aghh ugh mmph!" wheezed Loxleyhood. "Eh?" replied Gunnerr. "It's not what you think!" Loxleyhood squirmed for freedom but alas the health that was restored to him was seconds later taken away again by the angry Armsman and the poor Scout was in a corner of the castle in a heap, unconscious.

Meduza and Samildanach returned from the Pennines screaming. "Yeah... Happy hour!" hiccupped the Paladin, Ekydus as he stumpled about searching for his feet. "The Hibernians... they're coming!" protested Meduza, before shaking the Paladin into semi-consciousness. "Eh?" replied Ekydus, "Hibernians... In our frontier? Hah... you must be joking." laughed the Paladin. Meduza proceeded to pin Ekydus to the ground, much to the amusement of Whyp, who at the time was challenging anyone and everyone to fisticuffs, to the death. "This is not a joke. They are coming!" despaired Meduza, alas the happy Albions could not be reached in their hour of need.

Marching footsteps could be heard in the frontier, Novamir's army was moving into position.

Meanwhile, in Midgard, land of the dull... A little Kobold named Hatt was handing out maps to player's homes. When a mystic approached him. "You must warn the Midgardians!" announced the stranger. "Map?" replied Hatt. "You must warn the Midgardians little blue Kobold. The Albions need you. Stop your intolerance of each other for one day. For the good of Excalibur, they need you in their time of need little one." Then, with a puff of smoke the stranger disappeared, then reappeared behind a tree, before running off into the darkness coughing. "Ahh I think I understand!" announced Hatt to himself... "The prophecy of the zone crash... It is coming true!"
Click to expand...

Astounded by the fact he could find Great views for his art, Hatt quickly gathered his equipment, and together with the fearsome companion Fatbelly, they strolled out deep into Albion frontier.

Meanwhile in DL, an ickle luri stalker comes to life, his name was Faegfyawerfaaf. With a grin on his face, the mysterious creature starts talking with fellow Hiberians in FS.

- Is there an RR going on? he asked them.
- Yes, some of the noble warriors replied. Bring you friends and come to aid! they begged.

He swiftly kept doing research about the happenings some minutes, after ones he sneaked back in the shadows.

Some time later, The brave hunters are near FS after fierce fighting with both creatures of Albion and Guards protecting their land, when they spot an army of fellow mids! its the fearsome Red Guard, marching fast towards Novamir and his Hib army. the Red Guard force is massive, and outnumber the Hiberians with 3 to 1!

What destiny awaits the brave men and women of Forrest Sauvage:confused:
 
E

Ekydus

Guest
So as the situation stands, we continue our story with the poor Albions unaware of the peril that awaits. The Hibernians wish to destroy the Albions and The Midgardians, who are currently on a Relic Raid are asked to help the Albions.

Royal Guard approached their enemy at hand. Annoyed, at the fact that they had to stop from their Relic Raid to help out the Albions. Hatt proceeded forward and with a husky, yet squeeky voice shouted out "Novamir!" as loud as his voice would allow. Astounded at the fact someone knew his name, Novamir turned around to see Hatt, cape blowing in the wind with the sun setting behind him. "You!" shouted Novamir, "You! You again!". Recalling the last time the two left, Hatt gave a wry grin. "You ran off with my wife to be at the alter!" screamed Novamir. "Yes. Indeed. Shame about that." answered Hatt. Never again would these two cross the same path on equal ground. Novamir beckoned the little Kobold and as the warrior took one step his throat was met with a barrage of spears. "This is how we do things in Hibernia!" chuckled Novamir, as he commanded his army and with a glow they burst from their skin into moose. "Moose?" asked Hatt, confused. "You're getting rather low-brow Novamir." "Yes... well since the stock crash...That's beside the point! You will not stand in my way of destroying Albion!" he replied. "Ofcourse not! I am a mere 3 ft. high. However, maybe these may persuade you." With a snap of the fingers another 16 members of Royal Guard came in a line over the horizon. A massive battle followed. Bards were screaming and Bezerkers were, well, going bezerk. The sky became red with blood and the battle's pace began to slow. In a desperate attempt of the knowledge that Midgard enjoyed shiny things, he picked a coin from his pocket and threw it into the air. It slowly floated across the skyline and Stormriderx shouted "Look! Relics!". In a quick turn of events the Midgardians turned to the coin and all leapt to catch it. As they all leapt, they knocked into each other and knocked each other unconscious. All apart from poor Hatt, who sat in a depression that he had again missed out because of his height. When he had finally turned around, the Hibernians had gone.

Meanwhile, in Castle Sauvage, the disco had started to slow pace and people were falling to sleep everywhere. A drunken Scout fired an arrow at the disco ball, thinking it was an apple. As it fell time slowed. The Albions looked up and were in awe at the sight. Alas, it fell and hit Outlaw on the head, before shattering into thousands of pieces on the floor. Albion now had many casualties self inflicted, but still did not know of the trouble that was heading toward them, despite of Midgard's best efforts.
 
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old.MikhailGudlik

Guest
Meanwhile...
After a few hours of crawling on the grass looking for relics mids realised that they were tricked and these were nothing but a handful of copper coins! Enraged Wrahtofsauron got his rather unintellegent troll force to regroup.
Wrathofsauron: Thats taking a piss YOU ALL A BUNCH OF NOOBS how could u fall for a trick like that! FFS! LOOK AT ME I DIDNT PICK UP ANY COINS! (when in fact he was jsut too slow [thats sc with low quick :rolleyes: ] to get any)
Wrathofsauron: THIS TIME ITS PERSONAL! ALL HIT NOOBAMIR! I WANT A NICE ROASTED MOOSE FOR DINNER TONIGHT!
Wrathofsauron: And Stoni you better NO LOSE STICK THIS TIME!
Stoni nodded and strapped on Wrath's favourite stick tighly to her back.
Ashamed mids turned on their magic crystals in order to locate those hibs... THE HUNT IS NOW ON!
 
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Aybabtu

Guest
Will the mids find the hibs?
Will they ever get those relics?
And what is the albs doing?

Tune in tomorrow for more adventure, so long fellow hunters!

And now for the news.
 
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Ekydus

Guest
Originally posted by Aybabtu
Will the mids find the hibs?
Will they ever get those relics?
And what is the albs doing?

Tune in tomorrow for more adventure, so long fellow hunters!

And now for the news.
Click to expand...

Thanks Aybabtu!
Our top story tonight, a great tragedy struck tonight. A disco turned into a massive carnage of death earlier on this evening as happy Albions were dancing, when all of a sudden a disco ball fell to the ground, shattering into pieces. Here at DAoCNEWS, we feel for them. We did however manage to interview one of the remaining victims. "Sir, your name."
"Ah, yes, Outlaw NERD, my friends call me Mr. Zerg."
"What exactly happened?"
"Well I was giving my good friend a strip tease when the disco ball hit my head..."
"What happened then sir?"
"Well... there was lots of blood. The people were screaming with agony..."
We had to stop the interview here, as Outlaw passed out with the trauma. He is now in a bed, hospitalised. Other news on DAoCNEWS tonight! It is believed that reading this story is actually damaging to your health. We interviewed Dr. Nobody for the full details.
"Yes, well... err..."
"That's very interesting Dr. Nobody! Back to the studio."
Now to our eye-in-the-sky, over to you "Eurgh". It's pronounced "Aeurghh". It seems that large numbers of Hibernians have been seen moving toward Castle Sauvage on foot. They seem to be angered by something and are carrying what appears to be a teddy bear.

News just in... Outlaw has sadly died after receiving a concussion to the head by a disco ball.

Back to the story.
 
E

Ekydus

Guest
With the Albion force dashed in numbers through a tragic accident and with VodkaFairy's dead body decaying fast, Excalibur knew things would soon come to a mighty clash. Novamir was leading his army onward toward Castle Sauvage and suddenly he tripped over a coin that one of the Midgardians had thrown back in the direction in which the Hibernians were heading, in revenge. As Novamir fell he heard a mighty crack, his leg was broken. "Damn Albions!" screamed Novamir, "They always manage to do this!". As Novamir layed on the path, leg grasped with both hands, whispers were being aroused from within his army. "He's lost it..." said one zergling. "I think Novamir is breaking down..." said another. "I had ham and pinapple cheese pizza earlier..." said the next. Stormriderx looked up to the orange sky. Birds of prey could smell the blood and were swarming around Novamir. "I don't like the look of this." he proclaimed. "Fine. We rest here for tonight." ordered Novamir, with Castle Sauvage being barely visable across the horizon. at once the army collapsed. Exhausted, wounded and ugly. "I must warn you little wimps that the nights in Albion are even worse then the days..." said Novamir as the light dimmed about his face. "...We may not survive this night. Everything zergs in Albion, from the grass to the birds. Keep on your guard. Because if you don't survive through the night I will kill you myself! Nothing will stand in my way of destroying Albion once and for all!". Gasps were heard and with a snort Novamir twisted his head and stared coldly at the fellow zerglings. It was now silent. All the army could do was wait until morning. Lofff looked down at the little dead Lurikeen who had helped in so many situations. He mourned the loss of VodkaFairy. He lifted her hand and gently stroked it. The hand began to crumble with a faint breeze that was passing, Lofff was becomming anxious. "Look Vodka's decaying! We have to bury her soon!". With a squint of the eyes, Novamir lifted his head and gave his reply. "Yes, you're right. It's a shame the poor Lurikeen could not oversee the destruction of Albion with us." Lofff picked up the body and walked to Novamir. "How did she want to depart this world?" he asked. "Burial at water." answered Stormriderx. "Grrr! Why do you insist on delaying my destruction of Albion! Yet, she was good to us. Take her to the lake at once." As the army prepared for leave, Lofff looked at Novamir's broken leg. "How will you walk?" he asked. "I won't! Leave me here and come back quickly. I have a few men to keep me guarded anyway.". With that the army departed. Novamir pulled himself off of the path into the shadows and then sat, and waited.

Meanwhile the Midgardians had realised that they would not be able to catch the Hibernians in time. They needed a plan. Hatt looked about and saw something. "What is it?" Asked Jax. "A tree." answered Hatt. "I'm confused.". Jax sat down and held is head in his arms. Suddenly an uproar of noise came from the back of the army. Someone had a plan. They had to quickly retreat to Castle Excalibur and get the help of some guards. With their army half gone, Red Guard and the scattered random warriors left. They did not have time to treat their wounded.

Back at Castle Sauvage things were starting to look brighter again...
 
R

Riddler

Guest
*off topic*

there's so much whine hidden in this "story" :p

*on topic*

...when all of a sudden...
 
Z

zmurf

Guest
I'm reading Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy atm, i'll try and find time for ur stories when im done ... :)
 
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Riddler

Guest
Originally posted by zmurf
I'm reading Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy atm, i'll try and find time for ur stories when im done ... :)
Click to expand...

one of the best books ever imo :>
 
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old.MikhailGudlik

Guest
Originally posted by Ekydus
**OT**
You don't like my stories? :(
**OT**
Click to expand...
i do only thing i actually look forward ot reading on bw=D
 
Z

zmurf

Guest
I just read Lord of the ring's(again) and Tom clancy's Rainbow Six before i started on hitchhiker's, and omg, hitchhiker's make lotr's serie's look like bedtime stories, most amusing and most well written book iv ever read ... :)
 
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