The actual passage from King James bible, no wonder they didn't want to translate it into English and have ordinary folk saying WTF!
Deuteronomy 22:13-21
King James Version (KJV)
13 If any man take a wife, and go in unto her, and hate her,
14 And give occasions of speech against her, and bring up an evil name upon her, and say, I took this woman, and when I came to her, I found her not a maid:
15 Then shall the father of the damsel, and her mother, take and bring forth the tokens of the damsel's virginity unto the elders of the city in the gate:
16 And the damsel's father shall say unto the elders, I gave my daughter unto this man to wife, and he hateth her;
17 And, lo, he hath given occasions of speech against her, saying, I found not thy daughter a maid; and yet these are the tokens of my daughter's virginity. And they shall spread the cloth before the elders of the city.
18 And the elders of that city shall take that man and chastise him;
19 And they shall amerce him in an hundred shekels of silver, and give them unto the father of the damsel, because he hath brought up an evil name upon a virgin of Israel: and she shall be his wife; he may not put her away all his days.
20 But if this thing be true, and the tokens of virginity be not found for the damsel:
21 Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die: because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her father's house: so shalt thou put evil away from among you.
So I went the toilets on sat night in our local and bumped into an old mate who was a petrol head in his youth and he tells me hes bought a new car..so im quite pissed and he wants to take me for a spin..it turns out to be a 07 plate 3.6 turbo carrera..chipped to 580bhp..we pull out the pub car park...he clicks into sport mode and floors it..all I could do was a quick glance at the speedo to see it fly past 100 about as fast as fast as the rev counter...then he goes for the next gear and my brain almost shut down as thw world became a blur..he took a roundabout in a thirty zone..first exit to the left at about 120mph and then booted it again..im shouting now..he backs off and drives normal to the pub..i get back to the wife with my hands shaking...i only went the bog.
Both excellent if you know, go to the right place, and not a shithole.
5. Cup of coffee "still looks like this"
It's in a mug you fucking dense Northerner.
6. Being near Scotland.
Being far away from Scotland is a GOOD thing. Plus, the amount of Scots pining for their Motherland in London is silly. Scotland's brilliant but they all live down here. OK then.
7. No-one looking "hip"
Yeah, instead you have people trying to look like a reject band member from 1991 or Bradley Wiggins. MUCH better!
8. Erm, apparently a local BBC show is good.
We also have local BBC shows.
9. Rent prices.
Yeah, no arguing on this one.
10. Seeing the stars at night.
Actually some of the darkest skies in the country are in the SW England.
11. Shops you only get up North.
Yes, in case you really wanted a massive health scare buying corned beef from 1952, you might have to travel a bit. Sorry about that one.
12. Northern Bullshit Detector.
You really have no idea how dismissive Londoners are then.
13. Apparently there's supposed to be a point here about a bad, fat Northern comedian?
Doesn't even require a response.
14. Friendliness.
I don't want a homeless cunt talking to me. Ever. That's not friendly.
15. Getting so bladdered you look like a rape victim waiting to happen.
Again, no need to come back on this one.
16. Talking to strangers.
This is the same point as 14. So... er... this is an 18 point list then.
17. "pet" "love" "duck"
Heaven's forbid we actually use people's names in a civilised manner, rather than patronising everyone.
18. Finally, there's your mum or your nan always asking when you're 'coming home'.
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