SPAM This thread is for random spam!!

Mey

Mey

Part of the furniture
Joined
Apr 9, 2005
Messages
4,252
Scouse said:
Yeah, that'll make all the difference :rolleyes:


Mates house got burgled. The guy came in, made himself beans on toast, watched a monty python DVD and then walked off with a laptop and some other electrical goodies. All whilst the alarms were going off and the neighbours were in.

If you're going to get burgled, you're going to get burgled. Don't worry about it. There's fuck all you can do.



This, on the other hand, is a reasonable response.

If he'd have been chased away by a man with a weapon he'd probably choose a different target.
Click to expand...

You would be surprised how many "Neighbours" don't even have a contact telephone number or the name for/of the occupant of the house. If police come out to your house and its insecure they will call out a firm to board it up. This will cost you shit loads. Always give your details to at least one of your neighbours.
 
Gwadien

Gwadien

Uneducated Northern Cretin
Joined
Jul 15, 2006
Messages
20,105
Got a phone call 10 mins ago

'ALEX, ALEX THE ROYAL MAIL VAN IS AROUND THE CORNER, THE PARCEL SHOULD COME SOON'

Yes Mother, because the van is around the corner, it's going to come to our house, well played, oh and thanks for waking me up.
 
Bahumat

Bahumat

FH is my second home
Joined
Jun 22, 2004
Messages
16,788
Gwadien said:
Got a phone call 10 mins ago

'ALEX, ALEX THE ROYAL MAIL VAN IS AROUND THE CORNER, THE PARCEL SHOULD COME SOON'

Yes Mother, because the van is around the corner, it's going to come to our house, well played, oh and thanks for waking me up.
Click to expand...

Now you get to play 'beat the clock'.
 
Aoami

Aoami

I am a FH squatter
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
11,223
Gwadien said:
Got a phone call 10 mins ago

'ALEX, ALEX THE ROYAL MAIL VAN IS AROUND THE CORNER, THE PARCEL SHOULD COME SOON'

Yes Mother, because the van is around the corner, it's going to come to our house, well played, oh and thanks for waking me up.
Click to expand...

we were lying in bed thinking of a way to wind you up, sorry about that
 
old.Tohtori

old.Tohtori

FH is my second home
Joined
Jan 23, 2004
Messages
45,210
That's bullsh*t, everyone knows that alcohol has L2M in it, Little Dual Moronites which enter your body with the drink. These, as per name, do two things; Make you Moronic and makes Little numbers seem bigger.

This number ofcourse being the number which every woman is rated on, as per the 1956 "This is how women should be judged" clause, agreed by all voters and all invitation to this voting sent while women were making sandwiches.

These L2M enter your body, make you moronic(ignorance is bliss, so you feel happy) and make you feel up ugly women.

AI know this from being a Finn and as such a born knowledmatist of alcohol and any alcohol related product.
 
Bigmac

Bigmac

Part of the furniture
Joined
Mar 14, 2011
Messages
832
old.Tohtori said:
That's bullsh*t, everyone knows that alcohol has L2M in it, Little Dual Moronites which enter your body with the drink. These, as per name, do two things; Make you Moronic and makes Little numbers seem bigger.

This number ofcourse being the number which every woman is rated on, as per the 1956 "This is how women should be judged" clause, agreed by all voters and all invitation to this voting sent while women were making sandwiches.

These L2M enter your body, make you moronic(ignorance is bliss, so you feel happy) and make you feel up ugly women.

AI know this from being a Finn and as such a born knowledmatist of alcohol and any alcohol related product.
Click to expand...

 
opticle

opticle

Part of the furniture
Joined
Sep 14, 2011
Messages
1,201
Obviously there's a hugely profitable market for it with all the idiots out there playing Fruit Ninja for hours on end, but I don't think its good for the rest of the games industry or people who actually enjoy (real) games (i.e. those with content).
 
Lamp

Lamp

Gold Star Holder!!
Joined
Jan 16, 2005
Messages
23,259
Mr. Blobby relaxing at home in gimp outfit

5746865164_b4963f4636_z.jpg
 
Aoami

Aoami

I am a FH squatter
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
11,223
Random Fact - Manny Pacquiao has a daughter named Queen Elizabeth Pacquiao
 
Lamp

Lamp

Gold Star Holder!!
Joined
Jan 16, 2005
Messages
23,259
Random Exam Paper No. 4
University of Spam
Mid Term. One hour.

Question 1: How many Phillips screws are there in your house?

Question 2: Explain the colour red to someone who has been colour blind from birth

Question 3: How much would fully comprehensive insurance cost for a fully secured garaged Aston Martin DBS for a 40 year old man with no criminal convictions or points on his drivers licence who lives in West London?

Question 4: Which fruit is better for you: red seedless grapes, a Braeburn apple, or a water melon.
 
Last edited:
DaGaffer

DaGaffer

Down With That Sorta Thing
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
18,630
Lamp said:
Random Exam Paper No. 4
University of Spam
Mid Term. One hour.

Question 1: How many Phillips screws are there in your house?

Question 2: Explain the colour red to someone who has been colour blind from birth

Question 3: How much would fully comprehensive insurance cost for a fully secured garaged Aston Martin DBS for a 40 year old man with no criminal convictions or points on his drivers licence who lives in West London?

Question 4: Which fruit is better for you: red seedless grapes, a Braeburn apple, or a water melon.
Click to expand...

1. Hundreds. I have children, they have toys.
2. The longest wavelength of visible light.
3. Get your own insurance quote you lazy bastard
4. Toss up between the grapes and the apple. Not the melon.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Users who are viewing this thread

Total: 27 (members: 0, guests: 27)
Top Bottom