SPAM This thread is for random spam!!

[Jupitus]

I tape my waxed moustache ends at night so they don't mess up my sleeping cap tassels. And I own enough swans not to worry about one broken quill pen. It's making sure the peacocks don't crap on my duck moat that I have to worry about.

Yah - same with me, wot.

 

[TdC]

The best of all of those is the fact that the dewd in the black hat dances exactly like my best mate!!!

lies. everyone knows you don't have friends

 

[TdC]

I tape my waxed moustache ends at night so they don't mess up my sleeping cap tassels. And I own enough swans not to worry about one broken quill pen. It's making sure the peacocks don't crap on my duck moat that I have to worry about.

duck moat. sounds seckseh! I had a duck moat once!

 

[TdC]

Yah - same with me, wot.

its ok Jup. Lamp knew you wouldn't understand

 

[georgie]

I need a Scotch tape dispenser core

One of these:
Scotch® Extra Core for C15 Desktop Tape Dispenser, 1" core Replacement: Amazon.co.uk: Office Products

But I'm not spending £40 on something that's worth 75p.

This isn't a no-name version of it, is it?

Tape Dispenser Wheel, 5pcs: Amazon.co.uk: Kitchen & Home

 

[Lamp]

That's the badger.

@georgie receives 112 points, a slice of sausage-and-bacon cake, a pineapple, and a squeaky toy

 

[Lamp]

Sausage and bacon cake:

 

[Lamp]

Remember this weekend is International Bacon and Squeaky Toy weekend. What better way to celebrate it by eating lots of bacon, noisily slurping an alcoholic beverage, and annoying friends and family by remorselessly squeezing your squeaky toy of choice whilst they're watching tv. Fantastic

 

[fettoken]

Sausage and bacon cake:

That's an abomination.

 

[Lamp]

Just think of sausage and bacon cake as being like quantum mechanics. No one understands it, it makes no sense, its counter intuitive... But without it life couldn't exist as we know it.

 

[Zarjazz]

Just think of sausage and bacon cake as being like quantum mechanics. No one understands it, it makes no sense, its counter intuitive... But without it life couldn't exist as we know it.

If that cake was like Quantum Mechanics it would be cat, not sausage & bacon.

 

[caLLous]

So, basically chicken.

 

[fettoken]

Bikini-clad policewoman takes down and arrests unlucky pickpocket

Would not tap that! Though, she would be really good for you @Jupitus

 

[fettoken]

 

[Job]

well yes, dont try to compete with cheap goods, try something else.

 

[~Yuckfou~]

Bikini-clad policewoman takes down and arrests unlucky pickpocket

Would not tap that! Though, she would be really good for you @Jupitus

She's not that good a cop, someone stole her tits.

 

[DaGaffer]

well yes, dont try to compete with cheap goods, try something else.

If you want to throw up protectionist walls (both economic and literal) your hats are going to get more expensive, and probably still won't get made in the US. Win-win. For no-one.

 

[Jupitus]

Bikini-clad policewoman takes down and arrests unlucky pickpocket

Would not tap that! Though, she would be really good for you @Jupitus

I agree with Yuckfou - I won't date a bird whose tits are smaller than my own!

 

[Raven]

Yeah, slag. Look at her tits. Disgraceful.

 

[fettoken]

I agree with Yuckfou - I won't date a bird whose tits are smaller than my own!

Those aren't tits though - that's breast muscles! Also, her clit's probably huge due to all the testosterone..

 

[Edmond]

I agree with Yuckfou - I won't date a bird whose tits are smaller than my own!

Narrowing your choices there a bit aren't you?

 

[Job]

Just done a callout to a roughass part of Liverpool, right by Everton FC.
Stood by my van, guy comes over and asks me for a stanley knife..I 'm like er...
'Me birds stitches 'he says.
Next a young mixed race girl comes out, drops her leggings and shows me a 3 inch scar right down her ass crack, he then proceeds to pull open her cheeks so I can get a good look.
He spots a pair of scissors and walks towards her, shes backing up with her pants and knickers down her thighs going, 'you can fuck off'..she runs off and he laughs and gives me back the scissors like it happens every day.

 

[Moriath]

Pics or it didnt happen lol

 

[Lakih]

Just done a callout to a roughass part of Liverpool, right by Everton FC.
Stood by my van, guy comes over and asks me for a stanley knife..I 'm like er...
'Me birds stitches 'he says.
Next a young mixed race girl comes out, drops her leggings and shows me a 3 inch scar right down her ass crack, he then proceeds to pull open her cheeks so I can get a good look.
He spots a pair of scissors and walks towards her, shes backing up with her pants and knickers down her thighs going, 'you can fuck off'..she runs off and he laughs and gives me back the scissors like it happens every day.

"I'll take things that never happened for $400, Alex."

 

[Job]

Yeah, sure I just sat in my van and made it up, you need to spend an afternoon driving around those terraced streets, I've had a girl jump in the passenger seat crying, get me out of here, followed by the usual shirtless 7 stone hardknock asking me who the fuck I am.
They set up tables in the street on sunny days, half of them are pissed, always fat chicks with arms tattoos.
All the curtains twitch as you pull up, windows are open with full on WW3 going on in the front room.
Maybe it's a scouse thing, they have less problem with invading your space, and its mostly light hearted like that guy, what I didnt mention was that he was also covered from head to foot in strange white dots.
They ask you for a lift to the pub when you are leaving, one rough as fuck irish grandma, grabbed the burner out of my hand to light her ciggie as she walked past.
These are the people the rest of the country thinks all scousers are like.

 

[Job]

wtf, this guy today is talking to me about a trampoline park he took the kids to, I was telling him havent been on a trampoline since I was a kid.
just browsing the independent and a fucking advert for trampolines pops up..are they using speech recognition with the phone mic..we do give permission with most apps.

 

[Lakih]

wtf, this guy today is talking to me about a trampoline park he took the kids to, I was telling him havent been on a trampoline since I was a kid.
just browsing the independent and a fucking advert for trampolines pops up..are they using speech recognition with the phone mic..we do give permission with most apps.

Baader-Meinhof phenomenon
List of cognitive biases - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

[caLLous]

It wasn't quite as "dead centre" as the beeb article made it sound...

 

[Job]

Normally I would agree..but trampolines are such a random thing to appear in my advert feed, they would if they could and whats to stop them, plus many slightly less than tin hatters have studied it.

 

[Access Denied]

It wasn't quite as "dead centre" as the beeb article made it sound...

I'd love to emulate Felix Baumgartner and do that from the edge of space!