They Shoot Horses Don't They?

[sayward]

Sad what dementia does. My granny had it. Was happy in her own little world most of the time tho.

Seems things are a bit more settled at least.

Oh and those sort of organisations alway fib to save their own backs when they think u cant prove it.

Yes. Thanks. I'm trying not to think about it constantly but I am not sleeping well.

 

[Moriath]

cant stress over everything. Sounds like she is in a good home. Just take things one step at a time and not worry about the future

 

[sayward]

OMG Social Services didn't turn up to the CHC meeting! 2 local authorities are arguing over who is responsible for her but hadn't bothered to tell the NHS. So we drove 5 hours for nothing plus a hotel stay. Stress. No doubt part of the reason I am now so ill.

 

[Scouse]

OMG Social Services didn't turn up to the CHC meeting! 2 local authorities are arguing over who is responsible for her but hadn't bothered to tell the NHS. So we drove 5 hours for nothing plus a hotel stay. Stress. No doubt part of the reason I am now so ill.

I'd send 'em an invoice and a very firm and factual letter.

They most likely won't even entertain the idea of paying it but they'll definitely pay attention.

 

[dysfunction]

OMG Social Services didn't turn up to the CHC meeting! 2 local authorities are arguing over who is responsible for her but hadn't bothered to tell the NHS. So we drove 5 hours for nothing plus a hotel stay. Stress. No doubt part of the reason I am now so ill.

That is an outrage! Make a complaint with your local council about this or your local Clinical Commissioning Group.
They shouldn't be allowed to get away this sort of a service especially for vulnerable people.

 

[sayward]

I'd send 'em an invoice and a very firm and factual letter.

They most likely won't even entertain the idea of paying it but they'll definitely pay attention.

That was my first reaction. They have actually re arranged the meeting for next Monday a.m. which was when I said we could be there as we are in the area.

 

[sayward]

Went back up for rearranged meeting. Nurse assessor precised (don't know how to spell that!) she said your mother was dis charged with this that and the other; That's apart from the brain tumour....... well the room erupted. Did they not think that was important enough to tell us?

 

[Moriath]

They didnt tell u before that she had a brain tumour. Damn man. Thats kinda major. Is there an ombusman you can complain to orsomething

 

[Gwadien]

To be fair, if you told someone that their partner has a brain tumour, they should tell all relatives, and that would be expected, it's fucking retarded that he didn't mention it to you.

 

[Moriath]

To be fair, if you told someone that their partner has a brain tumour, they should tell all relatives, and that would be expected, it's fucking retarded that he didn't mention it to you.

@sayward didnt say that her partner was told. And i think that she is alsorecognised now as next of kin. So should have been informed in her mums non coherent state.

 

[Gwadien]

Well, if a doctor came in and told her Mum and her partner, you'd expect the information to be released out of that circle.

Her partner is the massive cunt for not disclosing that information, unless the NHS are fully aware of the whole situation, but I wouldn't be surprised if the NHS & social services didn't speak to each other on the relationship side of things, they're focusing on the patient, after all.

I'm not going to go on about it because it's harsh on mrs late-post-rate.

Families suck, my parents have been in similar situations on both sides unfortunately

 

[sayward]

No they hadn't told any of us. She wouldn't understand and her partner hadn't been told either. We were all absolutely stunned.

 

[Gwadien]

No they hadn't told any of us. She wouldn't understand and her partner hadn't been told either. We were all absolutely stunned.

OH SHIT.

Jesus, what the fuck they didn't even tell the partner?

 

[Yoni]

Unbelievable :|

 

[Moriath]

OH SHIT.

Jesus, what the fuck they didn't even tell the partner?

Thats what i was trying to tell you

 

[sayward]

My mother was admitted to AnE earlier. Conscious but unresponsive. They think she's had a stroke. Awaiting a CT scan. Dear God I can't help wishing she'd died when she was 'supposed' to.
We are due to go on holiday at the weekend......

 

[Scouse]

Sorry to hear that sayward. Chin up

 

[Moriath]

My mother was admitted to AnE earlier. Conscious but unresponsive. They think she's had a stroke. Awaiting a CT scan. Dear God I can't help wishing she'd died when she was 'supposed' to.
We are due to go on holiday at the weekend......

When my dad finally died i was relieved more than anything. GlAd it was over for him and me.

Sorry you have to go through this.

 

[sayward]

OMG I'm feeling godawful and that cretinous man has literally just sent me an e mail. He must be SOOO thick.

 

[Moriath]

 

[sayward]

MRI shows she has had a major bleed (stroke) on the left, the opposite side from when she fell. Prognosis totally unknown. She scores 10 on the Coma scale. Not awake and basically unresponsive. And she's 5hrs drive away.

All being well we are going to the Domenican Republic tomorrow for 3 weeks. Been booked for months and months. So all hell will probably break loose. As usual I feel guilty about not feeling guilty. I am embarrassed that I feel so little.

 

[Moriath]

Have to live your own life. What my mum always tells me. Then she goes on to tell me what i should do lol.

But you only live once. She is ending hers you still have to live yours

 

[Scouse]

 

[fettoken]

*sad face*

What Moriath said.

 

[sayward]

To bring you all up to date we managed to have a good holiday. However with 5hrs time difference we have been awake at 4am every morning to turn the phone on. We have spent £100s on phone calls to and from doctors, nurses and hospital. Half way thro we thought it was all sorted, I had a long talk to the neurological consultant who said he'd already discussed everything with that man and she could go back to the home on 'end of life'. so we thought we could relax, but oh no the next day I get a call to say he wants a 2nd opinion!! After another few days 'he wants her kept on fluids'.

So she's back in the care home. They have a week of fluids for her and then they stop. I've just had an e mail from him asking what I want to do!! He's sure as next of kin I could get the fluids extended!! No way!

We landed yesterday and I am so jet lagged. we are going to try and get there on Thursday.

I cannot decide what to do. i can either let him organise the funeral up there ( she's not dead yet) it will be tasteless, over the top and maudlin. Or I can bring her here and have a basic cremation with no trimmings. That would be a coward's way out for me because I don't want to deal with him or see relatives i haven't spoken to for years.

 

[Moriath]

To bring you all up to date we managed to have a good holiday. However with 5hrs time difference we have been awake at 4am every morning to turn the phone on. We have spent £100s on phone calls to and from doctors, nurses and hospital. Half way thro we thought it was all sorted, I had a long talk to the neurological consultant who said he'd already discussed everything with that man and she could go back to the home on 'end of life'. so we thought we could relax, but oh no the next day I get a call to say he wants a 2nd opinion!! After another few days 'he wants her kept on fluids'.

So she's back in the care home. They have a week of fluids for her and then they stop. I've just had an e mail from him asking what I want to do!! He's sure as next of kin I could get the fluids extended!! No way!

We landed yesterday and I am so jet lagged. we are going to try and get there on Thursday.

I cannot decide what to do. i can either let him organise the funeral up there ( she's not dead yet) it will be tasteless, over the top and maudlin. Or I can bring her here and have a basic cremation with no trimmings. That would be a coward's way out for me because I don't want to deal with him or see relatives i haven't spoken to for years.

Can never see the point on waating loads of cash in fancy funnerals. It gets buried, burnt anyway.

Hope the end comes swiftly for all involved

 

[sayward]

500 mile round trip in less than 48hrs. What a state to be in.... No sleep and lots of alcohol... 2hrs with an undertaker to arrange a funeral for someone who is not dead yet....

 

[Moriath]

Thoughts are with you.

 

[sayward]

Thoughts are with you.

Thanks.

 

[sayward]

I feel as if I am in a befuddled limbo.