The bf material thread
- Thread starter Nate
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dysfunction
FH is my second home
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If you are serious about meeting someone then apparently eHarmony is the best site to use.
I know a few people who have used it and are still very happy with the person they met on there. One even got married.
I know a few people who have used it and are still very happy with the person they met on there. One even got married.
old.Tohtori
FH is my second home
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Helme
Resident Freddy
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I can only agree with what DaGaffer is saying. I've been doing a lot of online dating myself the last year or so (I've met around thirty girls so far) and when the topic of "why online dating?" came up the answer they all had in common was that it was a way to sort out the idiots at their own pace, and if a date goes sideways it doesn't mess up their lives like dating at work or within a group of friends would.
Sure, you can easily fake yourself into a date with clever writing and a few decent photos but honestly - whats the point when you meet up and you're not that guy? Just be honest, dial back the eccentrics a bit and you're good to go.
As for the online dating womens mental state - I've only ran into one crazy so far, the rest have all been sweet. That quality control thing? Yeah it works both ways. Don't be desperate. Don't ever be desperate.
Also. Don't expect women to first contact you, it happens but if you want any chance of success you'r going to have to browse around and look for anything that peaks your interest and then send a short, entertaining mail with a few openings to get conversation rolling. Women are swamped with mails on these sites, they've got their hands full just trying to reply to everyone.
edit: the reason I've met so many - sometimes you just don't "click" in real life like you do on text, that's why I suggest you move for a real life meet fairly quickly. It's really fucking annoying mailing back-and-forth for a month to finally meet, you're excited, she's excited and it just fizzles. Don't set yourself up for that kind of disappointment. Just grab a coffee instead.
Sure, you can easily fake yourself into a date with clever writing and a few decent photos but honestly - whats the point when you meet up and you're not that guy? Just be honest, dial back the eccentrics a bit and you're good to go.
As for the online dating womens mental state - I've only ran into one crazy so far, the rest have all been sweet. That quality control thing? Yeah it works both ways. Don't be desperate. Don't ever be desperate.
Also. Don't expect women to first contact you, it happens but if you want any chance of success you'r going to have to browse around and look for anything that peaks your interest and then send a short, entertaining mail with a few openings to get conversation rolling. Women are swamped with mails on these sites, they've got their hands full just trying to reply to everyone.
edit: the reason I've met so many - sometimes you just don't "click" in real life like you do on text, that's why I suggest you move for a real life meet fairly quickly. It's really fucking annoying mailing back-and-forth for a month to finally meet, you're excited, she's excited and it just fizzles. Don't set yourself up for that kind of disappointment. Just grab a coffee instead.
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What's yer "hit" rate?
Yeah, it may be an insensitive question and you are obviously approaching it seriously, but I'm genuinely interested what level of casual sex you get through online dating when you're looking for the real thing.
Helme
Resident Freddy
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Five so far. All but one was on their initiative actually, which was interesting to say the least. I could probably have gotten laid more often but honestly, I don't really enjoy casual sex. Never have. Out of those 30 I got a 2nd date out of about half of them. So the chances were there but yeah..
Other "statistics" includes one friend approaching best-friend status and a potentional girlfriend - we're working out the details now
Other "statistics" includes one friend approaching best-friend status and a potentional girlfriend - we're working out the details now
old.Tohtori
FH is my second home
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But how many times did you get them to do anal while Wazz tapes it? BEcause if you couldn't, then it's simply not worth it.
gohan
I am a FH squatter
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this made me smile for some reason....... like tidying up all the loose ends on a contractFive so far. All but one was on their initiative actually, which was interesting to say the least. I could probably have gotten laid more often but honestly, I don't really enjoy casual sex. Never have. Out of those 30 I got a 2nd date out of about half of them. So the chances were there but yeah..
Other "statistics" includes one friend approaching best-friend status and a potentional girlfriend - we're working out the details now
old.Tohtori
FH is my second home
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Like how she's going to bring you your sandwich and keep it fresh?
old.user4556
Has a sexy sister. I am also a Bodhi wannabee.
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In my experience, online dating was just a big a minefield as offline dating. I never talk about it to anyone, but curiosity did get the better of me when I was younger (and single obviously) so I decided to give it a spin alongside regular dating.
The girls I went on dates with were unhinged. Women are masters of disguise and painting wonderful pictures of themselves, but they have just the same basic needs as the rest of the population. Writing (and reading) an online profile was vomit inducing sometimes; if I had a fucking quid for every profile that read "I'm happy sitting in with a bottle of wine and DVD, or "I'm happy with my girlies drinking cocktails" (read: I'm just like everyone else). I got the feeling that noone wanted to pigeon hole themselves too much. Anyway, here's how the dates went:
- Girl 1 didn't even make it as far as a date. She 'winked' at me so I looked at her profile; she seemed bubbly and she was rather attractive. However, the pictures were all head shots which was an instant red-flag, but I decided to see where it would go. We exchanged emails, decided a date would be good, so exchanged mobile numbers. I then tried to arrange a date, but then she went from being flirty on the text to "I don't think you'll like me" - I said "why not?" - she said "I just don't think you will". This went on for a couple of days (to and fro flirty texts but a reluctance to go on a date), then she said "let me send you a more recent picture" - that got me thinking "uhhhhh, I detect a fatty....". Low and behold, she was huge, a good few stone on her dating pictures. I didn't have the balls to say "you're really fat, I'm not interested", so I dialled down the texts and let it drift. I was out on a Friday at the pub with my mates and I got a text from her asking what I was up to, so I responded "just out with mates, about to hit the club". She said "I'd love to see your moves on me", so I text back (drunk) something like "Look. We've not been on a date. You're very insecure and you're nothing like your profile pictures". She responded "SEE, I KNEW YOU WOULDN'T LIKE ME WHEN YOU SAW ME. MEN ARE ALL THE SAME.".
Yeah, we don't like fatties. That was the end of it.
- Girl 2 seemed like she had it all. She was smart (a dentist) and reasonably attractive, it didn't make a lot of sense to me that a girl this nice would be on a dating website - something was just not adding up, but she approached me first with a 'wink' so again I went along with it. Her emails were woeful, written like a business email without any emotion or flirt in them at all. She sent me a bullet list questionnaire as she wanted to know some thorough details about my life as efficiently as possible (red flags going up at every stage). This was a complete turn off, but willing to try something new (read: going through a dry spell), I obliged then agreed to buy her dinner. She pitched up - superb body, face did not match the profile picture. The one on her profile must have been the only one that was any good, because she was a 6/10 at very best. Anyway, we sat down to dinner and after a "nice to meet you!" she looked me in the eye dead pan and said "just so you know, my friend and my mother both have your phone number in case anything happens to me". My arse had only touched the chair and I wanted to fucking bail out. Not only was she not that hot, but she was anal and had a personality that you'd just avoid if you had met them at a party or a bar. We got talking, and it turns out she had just split up from her ex boyfriend who was JUST AMAZING. He was off to NYC, she didn't want to go, so he dumped her.
I paid the bill, and never texted her again.
- Girl 3 was a lot more fun, but a fucking nutter. She was still at uni, a medical student in Glasgow and from a family of medics. She was good looking, well educated and seemed very cute. We arranged a date very quickly at a posh bar in Edinburgh - she seemed ideal.
I got out the car and saw her. She was fat. Not unattractively fat, but considerably fatter than her profile pictures. Very curvy, like Christina Hendricks.
I went along with the date because it was only a couple of drinks and I saw that she had potential. She may have been a lovely person which may have allowed me to see past the fat. We got chatting where she told me she came straight from cheerleading practice and clearly had not showered - the smell of cheesy feet was overpowering. I nipped to the toilet and when I got back she said "were you away texting other girls?" - I replied with "ummm no I was at the toilet?". Red flags ahoy - insecure, poor hygiene and chunky (but a very pretty face, young (22 iirc) with cracking tits). The date ended, but she did not want to let go of me, there were signs of extreme clingyness on the first date. This was not good.
I got home at 3am (we left around 11:30pm), and she texted me when she got in about how wonderful I was. I said goodnight, but I was intrigued and agreed to go on a second date with her. She came to my flat and things started to look promising - she didn't smell, she scrubbed up really well and we ended up having a good night with some kissing and tit touching. I told her that I had work in the morning and that I best be heading to bed and thanked her for a lovely evening. She told me that it was late and she didn't want to drive back home because it was late and "could I stay here with you tonight?". I said "umm, ok - I will sleep on the couch, you can have the bed?". She said "no, I want to sleep with you in your bed". I said "okaaaaaaay" (I was reading between the lines) and then she sucked me off. She even swallowed my cum. Superb - she put out on the second date, and went home the next morning.
Desperate for a pump, I thought I'd go along with this a bit more. She came to my place again, stayed the night, got some great sex but her clingy nature was awful. She was from further up north originally (her family lived there) and she asked me if I wanted to go up and stay the night (her dad was away.......). I obliged, but then it went really fucking downhill from there. Her dad was there, along with her brother and his mates. She said to me "I know it's a bit soon, but there is this party tonight and I'd like it if you came". I knew it was a bad idea, and by this point I was starting to feel the back-pedal feeling coming on. I got to this party and everyone in her extended family was there (grans, aunties, cousins, cousin's boyfriends / girlfriends, dogs, family friends), talk about feeling like the walls were closing in. I had met this girl twice, this was insane, she was introducing me as "the guy she's seeing" to which I fabricated a line of events of how we met because she didn't want people to know we met on an internet dating site.
It was time to bail out of this, but I was getting sucked in so fast. I got home that weekend and decided this wasn't for me because she was so full on so fucking fast, but she was right on the text "come to Glasgow and we'll go out". I thought I owed it to her (since I felt like I completely used her for sex) to tell her to her face. I had arranged to see my mate the same night in Glasgow, so I said "okay, I'll come to Glasgow and see you for a bit, but I'm going out with my mates". She insisted she pick me up, she then put love songs on in the car on the way through to Glasgow and we went to her flat. She introduced me to all her uni pals (again, as the guy she was seeing) - I was starting to panic. After maybe 45 minutes of her not letting go of my hand, I said "okay, I need to go meet up with my mates now". She threw a MASSIVE wobbler at me, shouting at me as to why I wasn't spending time with her and why I wanted to leave her. I left.
I was staying with her that night, the most awkward night of my life. I finally got around to telling her that this couldn't go on. She wouldn't accept it, got very upset as to "why?!!?", so I told her "I love someone else" (a lie, but it did the trick). She called "a fucking <insert noun>" at the top of her voice.
Lesson learned.
- Girl 4 was crap, looked nothing like her profile pictures.
I got out the car and saw her. She was fat. There was a pattern starting here.
She shouted at me in the car park, she seemed to object to my "shameless advertising" in reference to the dealership's sticker in my car's rear window. I had never met this girl and she was behaving like a fucking retard (red flags ahoy again) - within 10 seconds of seeing / hearing her, I was absolutely not interested. Anyway, we went into the bar and I bought her a drink. She was into horseriding and farm shit (I was into none of those), she told me that her horse had died lately and she was sad about it. I asked her "how do they deal with that?" and she said "well, it gets turned into dog food" and I laughed really loudly in her face. She was not happy at all, but the date was a bust.
I never texted her back, but she kept on texting me. I phoned her up and said "look, the date was nice, but we're really not right for each other". She got really upset and said how alike we were, and how much in common we had. We didn't.
- Girl 5 never made it past the initial email phase.
She sounded very interesting on her profile, but she had no profile picture (alarm bells, red flags). She put a lot of effort into sending me a bubbly email so she sounded interesting. She promised she'd send me a picture that night and that I wouldn't be disappointed. Wow, this sounded fantastic.
I opened the email and saw her. She was fat. Ginger and very fat.
I sent her an email back saying "hey! thanks for the picture, but we're not right for each other". Welllllllll, the torrent of abuse that followed was unbelievable: "you're a fucking shallow bastard, you're just like every other man, you're only interested in looks etc. etc."
That's when I decided that online dating was not for me.
The girls I went on dates with were unhinged. Women are masters of disguise and painting wonderful pictures of themselves, but they have just the same basic needs as the rest of the population. Writing (and reading) an online profile was vomit inducing sometimes; if I had a fucking quid for every profile that read "I'm happy sitting in with a bottle of wine and DVD, or "I'm happy with my girlies drinking cocktails" (read: I'm just like everyone else). I got the feeling that noone wanted to pigeon hole themselves too much. Anyway, here's how the dates went:
- Girl 1 didn't even make it as far as a date. She 'winked' at me so I looked at her profile; she seemed bubbly and she was rather attractive. However, the pictures were all head shots which was an instant red-flag, but I decided to see where it would go. We exchanged emails, decided a date would be good, so exchanged mobile numbers. I then tried to arrange a date, but then she went from being flirty on the text to "I don't think you'll like me" - I said "why not?" - she said "I just don't think you will". This went on for a couple of days (to and fro flirty texts but a reluctance to go on a date), then she said "let me send you a more recent picture" - that got me thinking "uhhhhh, I detect a fatty....". Low and behold, she was huge, a good few stone on her dating pictures. I didn't have the balls to say "you're really fat, I'm not interested", so I dialled down the texts and let it drift. I was out on a Friday at the pub with my mates and I got a text from her asking what I was up to, so I responded "just out with mates, about to hit the club". She said "I'd love to see your moves on me", so I text back (drunk) something like "Look. We've not been on a date. You're very insecure and you're nothing like your profile pictures". She responded "SEE, I KNEW YOU WOULDN'T LIKE ME WHEN YOU SAW ME. MEN ARE ALL THE SAME.".
Yeah, we don't like fatties. That was the end of it.
- Girl 2 seemed like she had it all. She was smart (a dentist) and reasonably attractive, it didn't make a lot of sense to me that a girl this nice would be on a dating website - something was just not adding up, but she approached me first with a 'wink' so again I went along with it. Her emails were woeful, written like a business email without any emotion or flirt in them at all. She sent me a bullet list questionnaire as she wanted to know some thorough details about my life as efficiently as possible (red flags going up at every stage). This was a complete turn off, but willing to try something new (read: going through a dry spell), I obliged then agreed to buy her dinner. She pitched up - superb body, face did not match the profile picture. The one on her profile must have been the only one that was any good, because she was a 6/10 at very best. Anyway, we sat down to dinner and after a "nice to meet you!" she looked me in the eye dead pan and said "just so you know, my friend and my mother both have your phone number in case anything happens to me". My arse had only touched the chair and I wanted to fucking bail out. Not only was she not that hot, but she was anal and had a personality that you'd just avoid if you had met them at a party or a bar. We got talking, and it turns out she had just split up from her ex boyfriend who was JUST AMAZING. He was off to NYC, she didn't want to go, so he dumped her.
I paid the bill, and never texted her again.
- Girl 3 was a lot more fun, but a fucking nutter. She was still at uni, a medical student in Glasgow and from a family of medics. She was good looking, well educated and seemed very cute. We arranged a date very quickly at a posh bar in Edinburgh - she seemed ideal.
I got out the car and saw her. She was fat. Not unattractively fat, but considerably fatter than her profile pictures. Very curvy, like Christina Hendricks.
I went along with the date because it was only a couple of drinks and I saw that she had potential. She may have been a lovely person which may have allowed me to see past the fat. We got chatting where she told me she came straight from cheerleading practice and clearly had not showered - the smell of cheesy feet was overpowering. I nipped to the toilet and when I got back she said "were you away texting other girls?" - I replied with "ummm no I was at the toilet?". Red flags ahoy - insecure, poor hygiene and chunky (but a very pretty face, young (22 iirc) with cracking tits). The date ended, but she did not want to let go of me, there were signs of extreme clingyness on the first date. This was not good.
I got home at 3am (we left around 11:30pm), and she texted me when she got in about how wonderful I was. I said goodnight, but I was intrigued and agreed to go on a second date with her. She came to my flat and things started to look promising - she didn't smell, she scrubbed up really well and we ended up having a good night with some kissing and tit touching. I told her that I had work in the morning and that I best be heading to bed and thanked her for a lovely evening. She told me that it was late and she didn't want to drive back home because it was late and "could I stay here with you tonight?". I said "umm, ok - I will sleep on the couch, you can have the bed?". She said "no, I want to sleep with you in your bed". I said "okaaaaaaay" (I was reading between the lines) and then she sucked me off. She even swallowed my cum. Superb - she put out on the second date, and went home the next morning.
Desperate for a pump, I thought I'd go along with this a bit more. She came to my place again, stayed the night, got some great sex but her clingy nature was awful. She was from further up north originally (her family lived there) and she asked me if I wanted to go up and stay the night (her dad was away.......). I obliged, but then it went really fucking downhill from there. Her dad was there, along with her brother and his mates. She said to me "I know it's a bit soon, but there is this party tonight and I'd like it if you came". I knew it was a bad idea, and by this point I was starting to feel the back-pedal feeling coming on. I got to this party and everyone in her extended family was there (grans, aunties, cousins, cousin's boyfriends / girlfriends, dogs, family friends), talk about feeling like the walls were closing in. I had met this girl twice, this was insane, she was introducing me as "the guy she's seeing" to which I fabricated a line of events of how we met because she didn't want people to know we met on an internet dating site.
It was time to bail out of this, but I was getting sucked in so fast. I got home that weekend and decided this wasn't for me because she was so full on so fucking fast, but she was right on the text "come to Glasgow and we'll go out". I thought I owed it to her (since I felt like I completely used her for sex) to tell her to her face. I had arranged to see my mate the same night in Glasgow, so I said "okay, I'll come to Glasgow and see you for a bit, but I'm going out with my mates". She insisted she pick me up, she then put love songs on in the car on the way through to Glasgow and we went to her flat. She introduced me to all her uni pals (again, as the guy she was seeing) - I was starting to panic. After maybe 45 minutes of her not letting go of my hand, I said "okay, I need to go meet up with my mates now". She threw a MASSIVE wobbler at me, shouting at me as to why I wasn't spending time with her and why I wanted to leave her. I left.
I was staying with her that night, the most awkward night of my life. I finally got around to telling her that this couldn't go on. She wouldn't accept it, got very upset as to "why?!!?", so I told her "I love someone else" (a lie, but it did the trick). She called "a fucking <insert noun>" at the top of her voice.
Lesson learned.
- Girl 4 was crap, looked nothing like her profile pictures.
I got out the car and saw her. She was fat. There was a pattern starting here.
She shouted at me in the car park, she seemed to object to my "shameless advertising" in reference to the dealership's sticker in my car's rear window. I had never met this girl and she was behaving like a fucking retard (red flags ahoy again) - within 10 seconds of seeing / hearing her, I was absolutely not interested. Anyway, we went into the bar and I bought her a drink. She was into horseriding and farm shit (I was into none of those), she told me that her horse had died lately and she was sad about it. I asked her "how do they deal with that?" and she said "well, it gets turned into dog food" and I laughed really loudly in her face. She was not happy at all, but the date was a bust.
I never texted her back, but she kept on texting me. I phoned her up and said "look, the date was nice, but we're really not right for each other". She got really upset and said how alike we were, and how much in common we had. We didn't.
- Girl 5 never made it past the initial email phase.
She sounded very interesting on her profile, but she had no profile picture (alarm bells, red flags). She put a lot of effort into sending me a bubbly email so she sounded interesting. She promised she'd send me a picture that night and that I wouldn't be disappointed. Wow, this sounded fantastic.
I opened the email and saw her. She was fat. Ginger and very fat.
I sent her an email back saying "hey! thanks for the picture, but we're not right for each other". Welllllllll, the torrent of abuse that followed was unbelievable: "you're a fucking shallow bastard, you're just like every other man, you're only interested in looks etc. etc."
That's when I decided that online dating was not for me.
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I'm moving 2 hours away next week, so there's some details to discuss in this arrangement
Poo. Long distance works only short-term in my (and all my mates) experience m8
DaGaffer
Down With That Sorta Thing
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- Dec 22, 2003
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Fixed.
I'd say 75% of the women I met had embellished their description and used old or doctored photos; one or two ridiculously so. I was probably carrying an extra stone or so myself but I was honest about it.
Lightweight.
old.user4556
Has a sexy sister. I am also a Bodhi wannabee.
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One was Irish and one was English.
Next.
Next.
old.user4556
Has a sexy sister. I am also a Bodhi wannabee.
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The top post on 9GAG is very apt .
.
fettoken
I am a FH squatter
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I would say he's a real catch that man.
Punishment
Resident Freddy
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Haha nice writeup G
old.Tohtori
FH is my second home
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Poo. Long distance works only short-term in my (and all my mates) experience m8
2 hours is hardly long distance though. Friday pop over, sunday pop back, weeks go into work and if you're missing the other muchos gracias, call or videocalls.
Ofcourse if people are hug-dependent girls blouses, it won't work
Helme
Resident Freddy
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Two hours away isn't all that much considering I live about an hour away already. But yeah, I'm a bit worried. Still, at this point she's totally worth it. Gorgeous, intelligent, and with the magical ability of making my brain calm the fuck down. Really nice combo, doesn't exactly hurt that she's the first stereotype I've met that's totally true in bed.. ah, redheads.Poo. Long distance works only short-term in my (and all my mates) experience m8
Though since I'm hug-dependant like a girls blouse it will probably blow up, going by what Tohts saying.
I've got quite a few stories if anyones interested. Mostly they'll all just be "we didn't get along all that well" though. But there's a few nuggets of hilarious. Like for example the girl who decided to introduce me as her boyfriend to her twelve year old son she failed to mention. I'm 24. She was 25. We had met once before. Or the time where I dated five Emelies in fourteen days... or the time when another Emelie took me to a catshow as a third date.
old.Tohtori
FH is my second home
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Well it can work, but it's going to cause issues to be away for 4-5 days. Time apart makes the cock feel hungrier though
That's how the saying goes right?
That's how the saying goes right?
TdC
Trem's hunky sex love muffin
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awesome 0o
old.Tohtori
FH is my second home
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Kinda like the horoscope i read from two different papers(published by same company mind you), one said i should help and push someone in my life to make them take a leap of faith or some such, the other said i shouldn't get involved.
So i humped her leg and told her she was ugly.
So i humped her leg and told her she was ugly.
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Absolutely one of the best posts I have read in a long fucking time on here, chuckling out loud in the office whilst reading it. Utter brilliance.
Yoni
Cockb@dger / Klotehommel www.lhw.photography
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Scouse said:Poo. Long distance works only short-term in my (and all my mates) experience m8
Rubbish, Kris and I managed 3 years of commuting between Sweden and the Netherlands before I moved to Stockholm. It wasn't easy but entirely possible
Nate
FH is my second home
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2 messages since I bullet pointed shit out of the profile. I also added a headshot smiling mother fucker of a glacier picture, although it does seem I have no neck...hmm..and I did have full beard on for total mountain man awesomesauce pictorialness.
old.Tohtori
FH is my second home
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Post the picture/profile or it didn't happen. You know the rules and so does that guy who is about to break into a familiar song from the 80s.