Rant Startng to get a WEE(not wii) bit tired of women.

[TdC]

How funny.

haha you're so deadpan

If I had a women of my own I would send her on your course as quick as you can say 'TdC seduces girlfriends in dodgy teaching course scandal'!! Can I buy a share in this scheme TdC, I'm sure there must be some dividends that are payed out

Of course you would, I completely understand.

Entering your/a woman into the course grants you a weekly progress report, and exclusive access to the website controlling the webcams set up in the woman's dorms. Normal users pay as you go, but for contributing users there are free daily updates!

 

[TdC]

Basic level
- How to put items in the dishwasher. [highlight]in a what now?[/highlight]
- The importance of eye contact [highlight]contact with who?[/highlight]
- The purpose of a laundry basket [highlight]a whatchemerthingy?[/highlight]
- How to say ' No I dont fancy the pub tonight' without keeling over [highlight]who says I'm taking you? [/highlight]

Advanced level
- The Way Forward -Multi tasking -how to think and do many things at once [highlight]I have girls for that [/highlight]
- Survival -without the microwave and takeaway option for a week [highlight]the hot neighbor lady cooks for me when you're away [/highlight]
- The art of toe curling massage [highlight]I'm up for that![/highlight]
-How to share the remote control [highlight]oi hands off the technology [/highlight]

request....denied!!!

 

[russell]

Hehe- Might have guessed that only one suggestion would be agreeable!!

 

[Trem]

Can I suggest you grab this calendar Russ and Teedles -

Absolutely NSFW!!

http://www.sendspace.com/file/2ed8cl

Don't worry there is men and women versions included.

 

[Yoni]

Yoni -topics for you to consider for the male side of the course

Basic level
- How to put items in the dishwasher.
- The importance of eye contact
- The purpose of a laundry basket
- How to say ' No I dont fancy the pub tonight' without keeling over

Advanced level
- The Way Forward -Multi tasking -how to think and do many things at once
- Survival -without the microwave and takeaway option for a week
- The art of toe curling massage
-How to share the remote control

Eurgh sadly Russell I don't think I am traditional a woman enough to be able to do this.. I think you would be far better

As for differences between genders... I love the fact men and woman sometimes are so completely different, it is challenging and immense amounts of fun

 

[TdC]

Hehe- Might have guessed that only one suggestion would be agreeable!!

are you saying I'm sexist?

 

[mr.Blacky]

Yoni -topics for you to consider for the male side of the course

Basic level
- How to put items in the dishwasher.
- The importance of eye contact
- The purpose of a laundry basket
- How to say ' No I dont fancy the pub tonight' without keeling over

Advanced level
- The Way Forward -Multi tasking -how to think and do many things at once
- Survival -without the microwave and takeaway option for a week
- The art of toe curling massage
-How to share the remote control

dishwasher: not eco friendly, hand done much better.
eye contact : yes beter to see first if the girl has nice eyes or dead cow eyes, though having a cleavege does mean I will look.
laundry basket : empty closet good enough.
no pub means to me: then you keep me warm

multi tasking : drink and talking so yeah why not.
survival : getting a woman to cook is okay for me.
massage : yeah can do, but your toes might curl caus of the pain
remote control : sure no problem but there will be no batteries and the tv will be stuck on football.


TDC your list is incorrect.
map reading is more advanced while serving beer should be tought as soon as possible.
also a new item: getting ready without looking an half hour in the mirror.

 

[SawTooTH]

Might I suggest Hobnobs and a mug o' tea with re-runs of the A-team

as an advanced womanising technique

 

[old.Tohtori]

ahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahaha!

Sorry. No, wait....

ahahahahahahahahahaha!

But...i am

Come live with me a week and youll never want to leave.

Or is that can't leave. Anyway!

I didn't do an a-team rerun as this was only a small setback, like, miniscule. So i watched a good set of original galactica and ate some mashed potatoes and meatballs.

Yoni -topics for you to consider for the male side of the course

Basic level
- How to put items in the dishwasher. Handwash. Also have shotgun incase those machines try something.
- The importance of eye contact Best part, then legs, etc. I call it the ping-pong scale.
- The purpose of a laundry basket How else do i find clean clothes?
- How to say ' No I dont fancy the pub tonight' without keeling over No headache = no keeling over.

Advanced level
- The Way Forward -Multi tasking -how to think and do many things at once Like, LESS then three?
- Survival -without the microwave and takeaway option for a week Don't even own a microwave and with takeaway prices where they are...shameful to even have this option.
- The art of toe curling massage I'll make even your insides curl! No wait...scratch that...oh yeah...little lower...
-How to share the remote controlThe what?

Your list is lacking vacuuming, trash, socks on floor, toilet seat etc...and you call yourself a lady!

 

[00dave]

But...i am

Seriously dude you're not, most women don't actually know what good boyfriend material so how us blokes are supposed to know is beyond me. The reason they go for arseholes is because arseholes tend to be the alpha male and that's what they're instincts tell them they want.

Just thought I'd bring things back on topic, I fear the FH ladies are trying to disguise the evilness of their sex with comical tactics and I think they've roped Teedles into helping them. Snap out of it man

 

[old.Tohtori]

Well "boyfriend material" like a dog is "house trained".

I know all the tricks, then it becomes a decision between a raging lunatic bulldog and a collie :lol:

But yes, galactica, alcohol and FH banter has once more reinstituted my belief in the evil of women and the ways of man!

Now excuse me, i got some exfoliating to do.

And yes that means getting a brillo pad, scrubbing my scrotum and going "oooh that hit the spot" in a Scottish accent.

 

[Aoami]

How can you be so convinced that you're boyfriend material? All woman are different, i'm sure they don't all look for the same things in a bloke.

 

[old.Tohtori]

Not "perfect boyfriend for all", but trained in the arts of boyfriend behavior.

We all know what the things are, toilet seats, gifts, calling, fun, spontaneous, nice, etc etc etc.

 

[dysfunction]

You mean no fanny kicking, bitch slapping or donkey punches?

 

[old.Tohtori]

You mean no fanny kicking, bitch slapping or donkey punches?

Only if it's performed by the second woman of a threesome *nods*

 

[Calaen]

Im curious now -what is the 'cup and spoon' technique?

Spooning Side by Side Sex Positions - Ideas for New Sex Positions sfw i guess no dirty pictures or anything like that.

Anyway assume the spoon position obviously still with your kegs on (don't want to put them off yet). Start running your fingers very lighty across her skin I usually start at the back of her knee (I know it's weird but how will anyone ever know if they like it if no-one touches it) and work my way up to her shoulders moving along her side the back, once at the top carry on with the movement along her arm (very high chance she has it across her chest) anyway as you move down her arm spread your hand out as if you were going to grab her wrists this assure that you make light contact with the breast on the first pass.

If you don't feel like you getting the signals just yet rinse and repeat up to 4 times, you'll know she's up for it by then because she will be anticipating the touch of you fingers on the route you have lined out ever so slowly on the first pass. If you sense that is the case on your final pass slide off the arm as you pass the breast and and pull your hand backwards into a cup!!!!!

Spoon and Cup hasn't failed yet. Hasn't always guaranteed the sex was because she wanted anything afterwards mind!!!!

 

[old.Tohtori]

You know...there are simpler ways

Like...slap her ass and go "Well?" :lol:

 

[00dave]

Not "perfect boyfriend for all", but trained in the arts of boyfriend behavior.

We all know what the things are, toilet seats, gifts, calling, fun, spontaneous, nice, etc etc etc.

Well then you're getting into the realms of age there. Young girls don't want any of those things, by young I mean late teens and early 20s. You're talking late 20s onwards there, how old is the girl in question?

 

[TdC]

I think they've roped Teedles into helping them. Snap out of it man

what? I was being...like...totally sexist and stuff dude :/

 

[old.Tohtori]

Well then you're getting into the realms of age there. Young girls don't want any of those things, by young I mean late teens and early 20s. You're talking late 20s onwards there, how old is the girl in question?

I'm not that much of a cradlethief

23+ in question, myself being 29 of all things.

Though...the most lasting thing WAS with a 20 year old in past three years

 

[00dave]

what? I was being...like...totally sexist and stuff dude :/

Yeah but they were using that to steer you away from the main subject. Gotta watch these things, they're devious dont ya know.

 

[TdC]

you mean they were distracting me with sex? this never happens in real life you know

 

[Uara]

hahahaa, yes TdC keep your mind on the task at hand, dont let Russell and Yoni fool you with their feminine wiles!!

 

[old.Tohtori]

hahahaa, yes TdC keep your mind on the task at hand, dont let Russell and Yoni fool you with their feminine wiles!!

You'd know

 

[Uara]

what your implying would be a very risky thing to do at my work computer

 

[TdC]

*feels self up*






edit: oh, and if ever a forum threesome occured with me in it somewhere, I assure you: you lot would be the last to know

 

[Calaen]

You know...there are simpler ways

Like...slap her ass and go "Well?" :lol:

Of course but it takes five minutes to make her think your not like the last one that will slip it in and drip it out, whether you are this person or not a little bit of work means that she is going to give you more of herself.

 

[Uara]

edit: oh, and if ever a forum threesome occured with me in it somewhere, I assure you: you lot would be the first to know and have webcam access

fixed that for you!

 

[old.Tohtori]

Of course but it takes five minutes to make her think your not like the last one that will slip it in and drip it out, whether you are this person or not a little bit of work means that she is going to give you more of herself.

But that's pre-work

If a woman wants you and isn't ripping your clothes off on the way to her/your door, you've not done your pre-work!

 

[Calaen]

But that's pre-work

If a woman wants you and isn't ripping your clothes off on the way to her/your door, you've not done your pre-work!

So how does this tie in with your situation then She wasn't tearing them off but you stayed, sometimes falling into the hall while trying to screw each others brains out is off the cards (you're round hers and she lives with the folks)