So i'm on a five day course this week...

[Calaen]

LIES!!!!!!! you would go straight up and ask her out cause you are a real man.

 

[evzy]

Why not instead - hire a white van, park outside her work, balaclava up and kidnap her and stick her in a box in a Boxing Helena kinda way..for those who don't know of it - Chick in a box

Alternatively beat someone up in the office in front of her to show her your man credentials.

That or still go with the coffee line tbh..

 

[Wij]

"Hi. I know this might sound a bit forward but I'll probably never see you again so I thought I'd best ask now. Can I take you out for a Rohypnol ?"

 

[Trem]

"I'm really tall but I can smell my balls, its time for a bath I think. Fancy a sniff?"

 

[Wij]

"Every night since I started coming here I've wanked over you !"

 

[Trem]

"Did you know that spunk really stings if you get it in your eyes, want proof?"

 

[TdC]

"I play WOW 27x7! Wanna go pwn some boars?"

 

[Wij]

"Are you as desperate as me ?"

 

[FozzySon]

"I'm really tall but I can smell my balls, its time for a bath I think. Fancy a sniff?"

Fucks sake, I can't stop laughing now. Thanks Trem, for cheering me up.

 

[old.user4556]

"Every night since I started coming here I've wanked over you !"

That's a fucking peach.

update; walked past her twice in the corridor today, got a really cute "heya" both times with a smile.

Ain't seen noone else getting that.

 

[Tilda]

Ask her you ejit!

 

[Trem]

That's a fucking peach.

update; walked past her twice in the corridor today, got a really cute "heya" both times with a smile.

Ain't seen noone else getting that.

She might think you are a mental and is fairly worried you will shovel her head if she isn't polite, so the only way to know is to ASK HER OUT YOU SPANGLE!!!

 

[evzy]

Due to the fact you haven't tried to tap it yet - she now thinks you are gay

When you ask her to go for coffee she will agree, you will meet her there with her "special" friend Theodore who wants you to go for a walk in the park with him.

Dude I would try and dispel that myth asap - maybe grab her, drag her in a storage cupboard and bone her there and then..that or just simply wear a t-shirt with "I Fuck Chicks....Fuck Yeah!" on it...

 

[old.user4556]

Let's be honest, i'm gorgeous, you all want me to rump and pump you.

*slips inside Wij*

 

[Wij]

Is it in yet ?

 

[old.user4556]

Nah, you're just so slack from TdC's affections

 

[evzy]

Are you going to upload it to youtube or something if you do bone her? With all the advice we are giving I think its the least you can do for us

 

[old.user4556]

This isn't about sex, it's deeper*
















































































*possible lie

 

[TdC]

I think he's already done tbh. The camera didn't even get it :/

 

[old.user4556]

Bring back necro-dildo cam!

 

[evzy]

Bring back necro-dildo cam!

errr say wha???

And if you get married - we better be invited n shit !!

In fact...why not tell the girl you were too shy to ask her out so all you asked a bunch of people on the web for advice - and show her the thread - thats gotta get you laid just on the A+ for effort...

Hmm just in case you do.....

I would just like to say Hi to you o female whose name we don't know but whose arse we will be seeing shortly bouncing up and down via the wonders of youtube or some such internet video viewing website (mebbe a XXX one tbh). Hope you like the thread - the chaps have put an awful lot of thinking into this as you no doubt can see, obviously we now expect you to go nail Big G so please don't let me stop you any longer...

Enjoy the Big G.

 

[Gumbo]

Fuck sake G, life is too short. Go up to her and say, 'Hi, do you fancy getting a drink after work, I'd like to spend more time with you than just passing in a corridor...'

If she says no, what have you lost? If she says yes, then Wahey, you get a chance to find out that you have nothing in common and she smells funny close up...

Or you are a match made in heaven.

Either way, just give it a shot, seriously, life is too short....

 

[TdC]

or that her hobby is collecting pint jars of dutch-scots semen!



















seriously though, ask her out mate, be an internet hero!

 

[Wij]

Punch her in the fucking face. Bitch !

 

[tris-]

If she says no, what have you lost? If she says yes, then Wahey, you get a chance to find out that you have nothing in common and she smells funny close up...

this reminds me of my own personal dilema. ive so fallen for one of my friends yet i fear if i tell her she will be scared, if you see what i mean.

 

[Paradroid]

Punch her in the fucking face. Bitch !

I thought in Wij's school of seduction this was preceeded by the skillful use of the tongue (darting around simulating oral sex for both male & female), and at the same time massaging the groin and mouthing "you love it" from a distance.

 

[Wij]

I thought in Wij's school of seduction this was preceeded by the skillful use of the tongue (darting around simulating oral sex for both male & female), and at the same time massaging the groin and mouthing "you love it" from a distance.

I have many techniques. That one was specially tailored to you !

 

[tris-]

I thought in Wij's school of seduction this was preceeded by the skillful use of the tongue (darting around simulating oral sex for both male & female), and at the same time massaging the groin and mouthing "you love it" from a distance.

rofl

 

[evzy]

Todays The Day !!!

 

[tris-]

i may aswell steal big g's thread rather than piss everyone off and make a new one. its too late to give anymore advice now anyway.

my predicament is ive got a female friend (im not kidding!) who ive fallen for quite a lot. except i dont know if she would consider me at all but i feel i need to tell her before i rip all my hair out. problem is i dont want to lose her as a friend, i think telling her may scare her. like she thinks im gonna rape her like i did to that last girl.

fucking women. i think i might turn homo if anyone wants to join me.