- Joined
- Dec 22, 2003
- Messages
- 9,293
I have had a kitchen and patio built so we have some baron bits of lawn.
I sent Samm to buy me some grass seeds on Saturday which she did, she also bought a fucking cock **** shit bird table as well. So what this means is that all my newly planted grass seeds are being eaten by her new friends. Last night there was 1 bird on the fucking bird table and about 72 eating my grass seeds. I have already thrown a spring onion at them and chased them with a huge hammer, they don't care, they sit on the hedge and wait for me to sit down.
Is there any useful scarecrow type things I can make before I get my gun out? I mean something cheap and easy to do, I don't want a man sized monster doll in my garden in case it gives my son nightmares. What do cun....farmers use nowadays other than poison and throwing burning £50 notes at the birds?
I am getting a bit obsessed over this now and it may lead to bird/bird murder, oh yeah while I was waiting for the fuckers to eat my grass tonight I was leaning on the kitchen top looking out of the window when Samm slammed the dishwasher door on my fingers....she wants to look at a wedding venue tomorrow.........FUCKERS!
I sent Samm to buy me some grass seeds on Saturday which she did, she also bought a fucking cock **** shit bird table as well. So what this means is that all my newly planted grass seeds are being eaten by her new friends. Last night there was 1 bird on the fucking bird table and about 72 eating my grass seeds. I have already thrown a spring onion at them and chased them with a huge hammer, they don't care, they sit on the hedge and wait for me to sit down.
Is there any useful scarecrow type things I can make before I get my gun out? I mean something cheap and easy to do, I don't want a man sized monster doll in my garden in case it gives my son nightmares. What do cun....farmers use nowadays other than poison and throwing burning £50 notes at the birds?
I am getting a bit obsessed over this now and it may lead to bird/bird murder, oh yeah while I was waiting for the fuckers to eat my grass tonight I was leaning on the kitchen top looking out of the window when Samm slammed the dishwasher door on my fingers....she wants to look at a wedding venue tomorrow.........FUCKERS!