rofl how the fuck?

[dysfunction]

Originally posted by ~YuckFou~
There is no fast lane on motorways ffs.
There are three lanes, two of which are for overtaking. It's people thinking that the lanes are for different speeds that fuck other drivers off for lane hogging.
Sermon over, thx.

I'm sorry but you are just plain wrong!

Generally there are 3 lanes.

In the first lane people drive below the speed limit like truck drivers, old women and you.

Then the second lane is for driving normally at roughly the speed limit....this is not an overtaking lane else you'd be weaving in and out of the first lane which is even more dangerous than speeding!

And then you have the third overtaking lane which people generaly drive faster than the speed limit to get past long queues of traffic.

 

[stu]

Originally posted by dysfunction
Then the second lane is for driving normally at roughly the speed limit....this is not an overtaking lane else you'd be weaving in and out of the first lane which is even more dangerous than speeding!

OMG you're one of those TWATS that just sits in the middle lane doing 80 all the way while the inside lane is empty aren't you.

 

[dysfunction]

Originally posted by stu
OMG you're one of those TWATS that just sits in the middle lane doing 80 all the way while the inside lane is empty aren't you.

No!


And since when is the inside lane ever empty??!

 

[*Exor*]

Originally posted by ~YuckFou~
There is no fast lane on motorways ffs.
There are three lanes, two of which are for overtaking. It's people thinking that the lanes are for different speeds that fuck other drivers off for lane hogging.
Sermon over, thx.

My motorway journeys consist of one big overtaking manouvre though

 

[*Exor*]

Originally posted by dysfunction
And since when is the inside lane ever empty??!

You clearly haven't been on a motorway before.

 

[xane]

Originally posted by dysfunction
And since when is the inside lane ever empty??!

Man it's just so wierd when motorways get empty, you are poodling along on the inside, no other traffic on any other lane, maintaining a very respectible distance from the car in front, then you realise you are going well over 90mph.

 

[Tom]

Originally posted by dysfunction
No!


And since when is the inside lane ever empty??!

OMG Dys you sound like a nice guy, but if you're a middle lane hogger, then you're a cunt. I'd love to drive up alongside you and give you the finger. Just because you're too lazy to pull into the inside lane, you're effectively delaying the journeys of several people behind you, who can't pass as easily as they should be able to.

I reckon Motorways should have tolls on, to keep the bank holiday cunts off.

 

[dysfunction]

Bloody hell I'm getting flamed for things I dont do!!

Curse you all for dragging me into this thread!!

 

[stu]

Originally posted by Tom[SHOTTEH]
I reckon Motorways should have tolls on, to keep the bank holiday cunts off.

Zuttrefend. The difference between motorway driving during the week (when it's full of reps - ie people who spend their lives on the motorway, and therefore know what theyre doing) and the weekend (when it's full of shit cunts) is pretty amazing. I'd have no problem with tolls on the motorways, provided there was accountability regarding where the proceeds went (ie back into the road network).

 

[dysfunction]

How is a toll going to keep sunday drivers off the motorways?

South africa has loads of Toll roads...and there are still the same old idiots on those roads as on the others.

 

[Deadmanwalking]

Bah not letting me quote but anyway ...

Dys there are? All inoticed about them was the almost perfect state (compared to UK) and the lack of complete cunts.

 

[dysfunction]

I used to do quite a bit of driving on one of the busiest Toll Roads.

The one between Johannesburg and Durban which is about 350 miles.

And there were regularly morons driving on that route!

I once decided to drive that at night from Durban to Jhb and all i can say is its not fun when you start to overtake a truck which is travelling at about 50mph and you are going at about 90mph and they pull out in front of you to overtake a slower truck!

 

[Mr^B]

This is why there should be a part of the driving test dedicated to motorway driving, and not just being asked questions on the highway code about motorway regulations.

a - hardly anyone keeps the required stopping distance, yes I am one of those sad fukz who does and gets flashed at to move out of the way when I haven't closed up to within a gnat's bollock of the driver infront of me when I am overtaking someone.

b - driving for the conditions, which means - slowing down in poor conditions/visibility.

c - taking regular rests, tiredness is a major factor in motorway accidents.

d - getting up to FUCKING SPEED on the sliproad/acceleration lane - this means you, GRANDAD, speed the FUCK UP when joining a motorway or I will SKULLFUCK you with my exhaust manifold.

e - rubbernecking/schadenfraude whatever, it's a fucking police car - if you want to be entertained, go buy "now that's what I call fucking serious accidents where people are getting maimed 57 (introduced by John Leslie)" - keep your fucking eyes on the fucking road.

f - mobile phones - FUCK OFF, I wish the police would adopt a shoot-on-sight policy for fucking cocks who use mobile phones anywhere on the road, but especially on a motorway

g - "you not having that donut?", yes, the FAT CUNT who can't wait for the next services and simply HAS to eat that donut (and cup of coffee...2 sugars pls darlin') on the move. I HOPE YOU SCALD YOUR COCK YOU FAGNUT.

I think that's it, probably more tho...but it's late and I CBA.

B

 

[xane]

Originally posted by Mr^B
a - hardly anyone keeps the required stopping distance, yes I am one of those sad fukz who does and gets flashed at to move out of the way when I haven't closed up to within a gnat's bollock of the driver infront of me when I am overtaking someone.

Oh no no no no no nooooo. You cannot leave a space in front of you because that idiot in the Audi TT is gonna creep up your inside and move in front of you, thus gaining a precious 10m of concrete and knocking a vital 0.5 second of his overall travel time.

I was really tempted to start crapping people up next time they come up on the inside, wait till they are in your blind spot and start drifting over

Of course, technology has advanced so much we don't need the kind of stopping distances that we had in the 1950s - yeah right I must remember to get my lightning reaction brain implant from Halfords so I can reduce the thinking distance that makes up a bulk of the stopping distance

 

[nath]

Originally posted by Mr^B
c - taking regular rests, tiredness is a major factor in motorway accidents.

Yes yes yes.

I always thought "pff, tiredness, what a crock of shit.. if you feel tired how hard is it to just say 'i'm driving, wake the fuck up'"

Except I fell asleep on the motorway about a week ago. For a nanosecond anyway, it was absolutley fucking terrifying. I didn't sway/swerve, none of my passengers noticed (eheh :/), and I carried on driving safely, but suffice to say I woke up after that. I think I'll take the whole sleepy driving thing a bit more seriously from now on

 

[adslrizla]

Aye well it might just help if the first two lanes weren't clogged up with fuckwit HGV drivers - how many times have you all seen an HGV in the second lane clawing his way past another HGV? Takes them about a mile to "overtake", fucks everyone else up and causes traffic jams.

I vote for HGVs stay in lane 1 - no excuses. Unless instructed to move out of lane 1 then that's where they stay! Sod bus lanes and all that shite - keep the HGV traffic in lane 1 and that'd help a lot more. Oh and penalty for going into lane 2? Instant loss of HGV licence - no excuses allowed.

Maybe then lanes 2 and 3 would get used a bit more for what they are actually meant for - overtaking?

Rant over

 

[xane]

Originally posted by adslrizla
Aye well it might just help if the first two lanes weren't clogged up with fuckwit HGV drivers - how many times have you all seen an HGV in the second lane clawing his way past another HGV? Takes them about a mile to "overtake", fucks everyone else up and causes traffic jams.

Covered that one earlier

 

[~YuckFou~]

I drive 1,000 miles a week on average, mainly on motorways. I am often in the inside lane, and I do not tend to stick to the speed limit. I am also often in the outside lane, not because it's the fast lane but because its an overtaking lane.

This must be a BW Forums first but I agree with Exor and Stu. They like me obviously actually spend some time on the motorway and appreciate the generally shit standard of driving and complete lack of understanding shown by crap drivers.

 

[Tom]

Originally posted by adslrizla
Aye well it might just help if the first two lanes weren't clogged up with fuckwit HGV drivers - how many times have you all seen an HGV in the second lane clawing his way past another HGV? Takes them about a mile to "overtake", fucks everyone else up and causes traffic jams.

Rant over

If that's how you feel, get on the train, or move closer to your place of work. The motorways aren't there just for you ya know.

 

[kanonfodda]

I will move into the inside lane, as long as it will not reduce my stopping distance, if it will, I accelarate past the offender, then move over (leaving them plenty of room too).

As has been said, I see loads of people coming up the inside, to gshave that extra nano-second off there journey time pisses me off.

and as for lorries, well, I think my thoughts have been covered on that one.

 

[bodhi]

I fail to see how people get motorway driving wrong tbh. It's pretty damn easy.

1) Floor it on slip road to get up to speed. It is so much easier to join a motorway if you are going faster than the cars in the slow lane. You just undertake on the slip road til you get to a gap. They're pretty common.

2) When on the motorway, accelerate up and get into the middle lane, then move into the fast lane (gaps allowing) and sit there doing 90-95 for the rest of your journey. If slower people come into the fast lane, flash them until they move.


In reality, the extra two lanes are only used for overtaking when the motorway if pretty quiet. Considering lane changing slows the traffic down, the best idea when its busy is to stay in the lane you're comfortable in. And if you must change lane, that pedal on the right makes you go faster. Try using it you shit weekend cunts who insist on doing 80 in the fast lane.

 

[*Exor*]

Oh my god I agree with bodhi!

If slower people come into the fast lane, flash them until they move.

Oh my god I find myself having to do this ALL the time. Although I will point out I only do it when the inside/middle lane is free. The worst one is when you get an asian in the outside lane in a BMW doing about 75. You can flash them and toot them for 10 minutes and they will not fucking move, and they'll be totally oblivious to it - Even when you fucking undertake them.

 

[Gef]

Originally posted by bodhi
I fail to see how people get motorway driving wrong tbh. It's pretty damn easy.

Bet its not easy avoiding people standing in the middle of the fast lane!

 

[Deadmanwalking]

Originally posted by *Exor*

The worst one is when you get an asian in the outside lane in a BMW doing about 75. You can flash them and toot them for 10 minutes and they will not fucking move, and they'll be totally oblivious to it - Even when you fucking undertake them.

Erm why does it matter if their asian?!

 

[*Exor*]

Because time and time again on my motorway trips I run into (not literally) Asians who have absolutely no clue whatsoever. They're far far worse than any British drivers I've seen. Especially Indian/Pakistani woman, omg they are the PITS.

 

[bodhi]

Originally posted by Gef
Bet its not easy avoiding people standing in the middle of the fast lane!

That's just natural selection's way of telling them they are too fucking stupid to continue on this earth.

 

[bodhi]

Originally posted by *Exor*
Oh my god I agree with bodhi!



Oh my god I find myself having to do this ALL the time. Although I will point out I only do it when the inside/middle lane is free. The worst one is when you get an asian in the outside lane in a BMW doing about 75. You can flash them and toot them for 10 minutes and they will not fucking move, and they'll be totally oblivious to it - Even when you fucking undertake them.

This happens on the M6 aswell, except there's normally seven of them in a Nissan Bluebird. Which is about as safe as it gets tbh.

 

[ECA]

tbh speed limit = 70.

If someones doing 80 in the overtaking lane thats fine but your these twats who think doing 90 all the way in the outside lane is somehow correct.

 

[*Exor*]

I don't think 90 is correct. But that's cos I sit at about 105. Get out of my way faggots.

 

[bodhi]

Originally posted by ECA
tbh speed limit = 70.

If someones doing 80 in the overtaking lane thats fine but your these twats who think doing 90 all the way in the outside lane is somehow correct.

Well it is correct. Considering everyone else in the outside lane is doing 90 it's bordering on dangerous to do any less.

And tbh speed limits. Who honestly pays attention to these when there aren't police around?

tbh ECA = cocklord.