SPAM random annoying things

[Scouse]

Scan are picking up the parcel for £10+VAT. The randomly annoying thing is that they could easily have told me that they offered that service when they gave me the RMA number - but they're obviously not willing to take on the uninsured risk voluntarily - it's out of my hands the second that I get a receipt off the DPD driver

 

[CorNokZ]

Yesterday it was front page material as well as in the morning news and the big Danish morning show on telly, that the two best female badminton players were a couple and had been for eight years.

How is it news worthy? First of all I expected nothing else. They've been a pair on the court for eight years, so why not in the sheets as well? Second of all, we're in 2017, I couldn't care less that you're gay

 

[Moriath]

Yesterday it was front page material as well as in the morning news and the big Danish morning show on telly, that the two best female badminton players were a couple and had been for eight years.

How is it news worthy? First of all I expected nothing else. They've been a pair on the court for eight years, so why not in the sheets as well? Second of all, we're in 2017, I couldn't care less that you're gay

But are they good looking?

 

[Gwadien]

Yesterday it was front page material as well as in the morning news and the big Danish morning show on telly, that the two best female badminton players were a couple and had been for eight years.

How is it news worthy? First of all I expected nothing else. They've been a pair on the court for eight years, so why not in the sheets as well? Second of all, we're in 2017, I couldn't care less that you're gay

They're not actually gay, they're just pretending to be.

The Chinese badminton players are famously homophobic, your players will start scissoring randomly through the game.

 

[Billargh]

Yesterday it was front page material as well as in the morning news and the big Danish morning show on telly, that the two best female badminton players were a couple and had been for eight years.

How is it news worthy? First of all I expected nothing else. They've been a pair on the court for eight years, so why not in the sheets as well? Second of all, we're in 2017, I couldn't care less that you're gay

How is the cans situation though?

 

[CorNokZ]

But are they good looking?

No

How is the cans situation though?

They're female top athletes, what do you think?

Spoiler

 

[Raven]

People that smoke then moan they have no money.

I am not going to turn into one of those ex-smokers that constantly whines about other people's habbits, if you want to smoke and you can afford to smoke then it doesn't affect me in any way whatsoever, go for it.
But, don't fucking moan that you have spent all your disposable then nip out for a ciggie. I am on good money and I can't afford £10 a day on tailor made fags, let alone the ~£5 a day I used to spend on rollies.

 

[CorNokZ]

There's a show in Denmark called the luxury trap, which is basically people without a clue that have a lot of debt, which they had no idea was as big as it apparently is. So to the rescue comes two personal financial experts to help out. They are given complete power of all their assets, and sell everything which is bought on credit or has a value and not necessary, e.g and ipad or a massive flat screen bought with borrowed money, to pay some of the most immediate creditors.

Furthermore they set new budgets for the couples. First thing is to quit smoking. Some people storm out and tell the TV crew to fuck off. "they can take all they want, but I am not giving up smoking!"

Look here, you idiot. You have 0 money and your debt is growing by the minute. You'll get evicted if you don't follow the budget!

Poor people and their cigarettes are almost impossible to come between

 

[Scouse]

Poor people and their cigarettes are almost impossible to come between

It's almost like a legalised no-fun drug for retards eh?

Oh. Yes, that's what it is. All the drugs with fun attached are illegal.

 

[Bodhi]

I dunno, I find the head rush afterwards to be quite amusing, especially after the first one of the day. The conversations in the smoking area at work are also far more interesting than what you lame non smokers chat about in the kitchen. Want the inside line on the future of the company? Go out for a smoke. Want to find out how someone's weekend was? Kitchen for you.

 

[Raven]

Yeah, I have to make a point of walking around talking to people to find out what is going on now, few mins outside the back doors and I would know everything I need to know before hand.

Still, £330 saved so far, I can taste food properly and I don't stink.

 

[Scouse]

Meh, if you want to know what's going on at yer company get a job where you're on the inside.

And the head rush from a fag is just withdrawal relief. At least proper drugs are mind-altering. Plus, kills 50% of people that smoke is enough for me @Bodhi - and you had bladder cancer once didn't you? - that's probably down to your fags as that's by far the highest risk factor.

Yeah. I think I nailed it first time.

BTW - well done @Raven. Keep it up

 

[Bodhi]

A lot more likely to be the industrial chemicals mixed into the illegal drugs I was hammering at the time - I stopped hammering them, and it didn't come back.

However I care not a jot, as I'm too busy looking cool with a cigarette to care.

 

[Scouse]

Brad Pitt might look cool with a fag. Or Humphrey Bogart.

Everyone else looks like the modern world has missed them by.

 

[Bodhi]

I make Brad Pitt look like someone who spends his time on Internet forums trying to prove how much better he is than anyone else.

Plus I also met my wife and just about everyone else I know outside having a fag. Pretty positive effect if you ask me.

 

[fettoken]

I make Brad Pitt look like someone who spends his time on Internet forums trying to prove how much better he is than anyone else.

Plus I also met my wife and just about everyone else I know outside having a fag. Pretty positive effect if you ask me.

So you're basically chalking it up to fags rather than giving yourself some credit?

 

[Raven]

I looked cool as fuck with a rolly hanging out my mouth.

I will end up smoking on a Friday night, I imagine, when on the booze. Like lots of ex smokers, no problem with that.

 

[fettoken]

In Sweden we use snus, get with the times you Brit fags.

 

[CorNokZ]

This is a Swede doing snus. Fettoken finds this hot

 

[fettoken]

This is a Swede doing snus. Fettoken finds this hot

View attachment 37720

Nah that's some retard trying to snort cinnamon, or just regular dirt.

 

[Raven]

I could fit my cock up that.

Hot, confirmed.

 

[fettoken]

What did Anders google is more interesting in this case.

 

[Moriath]

This is a Swede doing snus. Fettoken finds this hot

View attachment 37720

Snus goes under your lip not up yr nose.

 

[Raven]

Trying to get through to popo,

Work was broken in to last night, 101 os just a merry go round of waiting, wrong department etc etc.

I have CCTV, they can get prints off the door.

Utterly useless, in desperate need of privatisation. (Not the cops, the support staff)

 

[Ormorof]

some youths set fire to kids pram, who the fuck sets fire to a pram at four in the afternoon (or at all?)

 

[Scouse]

in desperate need of privatisation. (Not the cops, the support staff)

So they can charge you for that, right?

Ain't no other way you're getting fingerprints taken.

 

[Lamp]

The new £10 note. I got one today that had been folded into 4. Bloody thing won't flatten out. I'll have to iron it.

They always have to screw around with things.

Paper money
E numbers in food
Being able to walk your dog in the park without a lead
First post in your letter box before 7am
Smoking in pubs
Proper adverts in cinemas
Policeman who could do their job without paperwork or threat of litigation
An NHS without PFI
Night flights


If it works, leave it the feck alone.

 

[fettoken]

Snus goes under your lip not up yr nose.

Except for the original 'snus' that is Snuff, which was scented and ground up tobacco and was supposed to go up the nose.

@TdC & @Wij, a fitting tidbit where I've heard stories of people putting snus (packaged, not loose) up the bum for greater effect.

 

[Scouse]

I prefer the new £10 notes @Lamp - doesn't get ruined if I'm out walking or biking all day when it shits it down, or if I'm out in the kayak and want to take some cash with me if I stop off at a shop at some point.

Plus

Smoking in pubs

If it works, leave it the feck alone.

Really glad they didn't leave that alone

 

[Wij]

Except for the original 'snus' that is Snuff, which was scented and ground up tobacco and was supposed to go up the nose.

@TdC & @Wij, a fitting tidbit where I've heard stories of people putting snus (packaged, not loose) up the bum for greater effect.

Who gets the greater effect? Top or bottom?