SPAM random annoying things

[Jupitus]

When chillies stop burning your mouth
Birds eye chillies don't do anything for me now.
I'm acclimatised. Bit like Toto not feeling cold in the middle of a Finnish winter.
Whats the next one up? Scotch bonnet?

Dunno, but don't ever cook me a curry!

 

[Shagrat]

I've caught the lurgy from some bastard at work, feel awful

 

[fettoken]

Tbh, people should do as in China/Japan when they get the flu or some such, wear a face-mask for fuck sake.

 

[TdC]

Tbh they wear facemasks to NOT get the lurgy. I saw a dude in Edinburgh wearing one, and I was like...wtf? Then I saw him take a pic of himself, mask and all, with a selfie-stick and realized he was a tourist.

 

[caLLous]

They wear them in China to save them from the dreadful smog, don't they?

 

[Lakih]

That too.

 

[TdC]

smog, lurgy, AIDS. masks will save you from it!


View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O5C0G9Ol7_Q

 

[Scouse]

The fact that Klopp is favourite for our next mistake.

 

[Raven]

Who would you have then?

 

[Scouse]

Who would you have then?

I'm not sure. There aren't any candidates out there that immediately jump out at me as "want". But Klopp's been on my "don't want" list since he finished shit at Dortmund. I think the pressure got to him after a long time.

 

[caLLous]

You should pinch Big Sam before Sunderland get their grubby hands on him.

 

[Raven]

When Maureen gets fired next week, he could troll Chelsea hard.

 

[Moriath]

The fact that Klopp is favourite for our next mistake.

Wrong thread?

 

[caLLous]

It seems like a pretty good thread to mention something that annoyed him...

 

[CorNokZ]

When your lecturer wants to show a video in class, but she has so little tech savviness that it takes 10 minutes and four students shouting at her in order to get the sound sorted

"Why isn't there any sound?"
"Plug the speakers INTO the computer!"

 

[DaGaffer]

When your lecturer wants to show a video in class, but she has so little tech savviness that it takes 10 minutes and four students shouting at her in order to get the sound sorted

"Why isn't there any sound?"
"Plug the speakers INTO the computer!"

Every offsite presentation ever.

 

[CorNokZ]

Every offsite presentation ever.

"Do you have wifi? My presentation is on my Google Drive, soooo..." - Every shit sales person ever

Get out

 

[Raven]

No, we don't have wifi. - Every tinpot organisation ever

 

[soze]

I have printed our guest wifi details on A4 and laminated them. I left them on the desk right next to cords for the projector. Still get asked for it most days.

 

[DaGaffer]

"Do you have wifi? My presentation is on my Google Drive, soooo..." - Every shit sales person ever

Get out

Wifi, incompatible ports, HDMI, v. serial v. DisplayPort. Firewalls, duff projectors, "oh our devs seem to be working on it so its not running at the moment", "Powerpoint is so old hat, we use Prezi now. Oh, can't seem to log-in..." "Which setting is it? HDMI1? PC? Its just blank", "keep pressing fn F8, it'll come on the screen eventually". Seen 'em all.

 

[CorNokZ]

Wifi, incompatible ports, HDMI, v. serial v. DisplayPort. Firewalls, duff projectors, "oh our devs seem to be working on it so its not running at the moment", "Powerpoint is so old hat, we use Prezi now. Oh, can't seem to log-in..." "Which setting is it? HDMI1? PC? Its just blank", "keep pressing fn F8, it'll come on the screen eventually". Seen 'em all.

It's great when you didn't have time to grab that cup of coffee before the meeting or you didn't make it to the toilet and you really gotta pee

 

[Gwadien]

I had a lecturer who spent 15 mins at the start of a lecture trying to get on YouTube.

He basically googled Google using the search bar at the top, unfortunately it was giving the google which has no logo but the recently visited sites tab, meaning because the logo wasn't there it was clearly broken, so he spent 15 minutes closing it and looping the above, he then gave up with a huff

 

[old.user4556]

I hate to suck my own dick here, but I always make sure things work in advance of the presentation starting so not to waste everyone's time. Fuck me, right?

 

[CorNokZ]

I hate to suck my own dick here, but I always make sure things work in advance of the presentation starting so not to waste everyone's time. Fuck me, right?

If you open up a little wider I'm sure you'd be able to get your balls in there too without too much extra effort

 

[DaGaffer]

I hate to suck my own dick here, but I always make sure things work in advance of the presentation starting so not to waste everyone's time. Fuck me, right?

Yes, but unless you can actually visit the offsite first, you're always at the mercy of the "weird TV or projector that won't respond to fn F8 and you have to call up the beard from IT who'll come up stairs, shuffle in, wipe the crumbs from his whitesnake t-shirt, press the same fucking fn F8 you've been pressing for the past ten minutes, sigh heavily, fuck off downstairs, come back ten minutes later with and armful of connectors that he should have left in the conference room because the fucking fn F8 thing happens every single time anyone visits but he doesn't care because it gives him the opportunity to look down on the suits twiddling their thumbs waiting for him, fiddle about for another five minutes, mash the fn F8 a few more times, turn everything off and back on again, and the powerpoint comes up, but its got a pink wash and a funny buzzing sound, but fuck it, its been half an hour and lunch is coming, let's just do this shit" scenario.

 

[old.user4556]

Always, but plan ahead. If you can't guarantee it'll work, have a backup plan. Death by powerpoint is never good.

 

[DaGaffer]

Always, but plan ahead. If you can't guarantee it'll work, have a backup plan. Death by powerpoint is never good.

Of course, but what usually happens, even if you have a paper copy and your laptop to huddle around is "oh just let Ken from IT look at it first, it would be much better if we can get it on the big screen". The worst thing is this kind of thing usually happens when people are coming to visit us rather than the other way around, and its our IT dept that have turned AV into a black art (and it doesn't seem to matter which company I work for).

 

[old.user4556]

Our AV guy is very very grumpy. I'd rather huddle naked with my Indian guys around an iPhone than say "Jock, that projector is on the fritz". He'd look at you as if you said "I FUCK KIDS".

 

[Fweddy]

A place I visited last Wednesday had just bought an expensive new projector, a variety of cables and adapters and a dedicated cabinet to keep it all safe. They assured me it would have all worked splendidly if they hadn't lost the key to the cabinet.

 

[soze]

I hate to suck my own dick here, but I always make sure things work in advance of the presentation starting so not to waste everyone's time. Fuck me, right?

If people book a meeting at our place the projector and everything is already set up. We have a 21 inch touch screen sunk into the desk as well so if the presentation is just on USB you can just plug a go. If not the projector has VGA/HDMI/DP and DVI there are also Mini DP/HDMI to DP/HDMI adaptors in there. It is really cool and it all goes over the CAT 6 to the projector. I ran up DAOC once on the touch screen and played it on the whole wall for a laugh.