SPAM random annoying things

[fettoken]

When you need to take a dump and all the bogs are occupied meaning you need to leave it half an hour to cool off.

Yeah. Approaching a bog and just opening the door, you need to do a 180 instantly, when people nearby.

 

[old.Tohtori]

When you need to take a dump and all the bogs are occupied meaning you need to leave it half an hour to cool off.

Just be careful not to make a noise, you might bother other peoples pissing.

 

[TdC]

a few Brussels visits ago, I was in the stalls when a dude near by started making noises to the extent that I couldn't determin if he was having a heart attack, the fap of a lifetime, or a really intense attack of the shits. It was very disturbing. In an ideal world, people make no sound at all when on the crapper :-(

 

[soze]

That is one of the reasons I am glad I am regular and only shit at home. I hate it when you are just starting out taking a shit and someone comes into the room and you can hear they are not pissing so you know they are waiting for a stall and you have to hurry.

 

[Raven]

I am usually but I had fish and chips last night.

 

[Scouse]

I am with @caLLous on this one anyone who just sniffs snot back up their nose for an hour rather than blowing the cunt is a selfish prick.

I was stuck in a car for about 3 hours with someone who did it every 30 seconds and I offered him a tissue several times but no he just had to sniff sniff. It makes me rage.

Been through this. Blowing your nose doesn't make a difference to the amount you sniff, at all.

You blow your nose, which is unhygenic, and seconds later you're still sniffing. You're sniffing because you're streaming. Blowing your nose delays the sniffing by about two seconds. So why bother.


I refuse hankies for that very reason. People shouldn't be so disgusted by a standard human bodily function. It's like people who get pissy when people fart - they can fuck off

Edit:

I am glad I am regular and only shit at home. I hate it when you are just starting out taking a shit and someone comes into the room and you can hear they are not pissing so you know they are waiting for a stall and you have to hurry.

I suppose it links to people who are weird about taking a dump outside their house or in public loos. Just man up ffs!

 

[Raven]

Actually the process of a runny nose is to clear out shit you don't want, be it dust or a cold. Sniffing is the opposite of what your body wants you to do.

 

[DaGaffer]

a few Brussels visits ago, I was in the stalls when a dude near by started making noises to the extent that I couldn't determin if he was having a heart attack, the fap of a lifetime, or a really intense attack of the shits. It was very disturbing. In an ideal world, people make no sound at all when on the crapper :-(

Worst one I ever heard was when I worked at GAME. Our IT Director had a kidney stone, and you couldn't just hear him in the next stall, you could hear him in the next building (and that's not an exaggeration).

 

[Scouse]

Actually the process of a runny nose is to clear out shit you don't want, be it dust or a cold. Sniffing is the opposite of what your body wants you to do.

Actually, the process of a runny nose is a mistakenly overbearing reaction to a viral infection you already have. Other parts of your body clear up your cold, the runny nose is an inconvenience more than anything particularly effective.

You may as well drink it down instead of blowing into a tissue every twenty seconds for three days, rubbing your nose sore and achieving mountains of yucky paper waste. After all - it's what we've been doing for the last 150,000 years (give or take)...

 

[mooSe_]

I had just finished the last question on my exam paper and then the fucking fire alarm went off. We had to go stand outside for 90 minutes before they let me back in to get my bag. No idea whether I have to reset the exam or not.

 

[mooSe_]

urgh my card got declined at tesco and I didn't quite have enough money. I had already packed stuff into my bag so I had to leave my bag there and jog to the cash point and back. Today has been a ball ache

 

[Zarjazz]

I had already packed stuff into my bag so I had to leave my bag there and jog to the cash point and back.

Since you were already running out of the store you should have just taken the bag with you

 

[caLLous]

Mozilla deciding to not let me move the Firefox toolbar buttons around as I please anymore. I have to install an addon to get reload/stop on the left of the address bar.

 

[MYstIC G]

Mozilla deciding to not let me move the Firefox toolbar buttons around as I please anymore. I have to install an addon to get reload/stop on the left of the address bar.

User error, use keyboard ftw.

 

[TdC]

Worst one I ever heard was when I worked at GAME. Our IT Director had a kidney stone, and you couldn't just hear him in the next stall, you could hear him in the next building (and that's not an exaggeration).

poor fella. I've been told that they are amongst the most painful things a human can experience.

 

[TdC]

departments emailing me to tell me they won't do what I ask, but when I email them back I get an autoresponder telling me to not email them and use their website. use website. get email from website telling me that I have correctly used the website. get another email telling me that support department has been emailed. soon they will email me, and I can use the website again in case I have any further questions.

they've now sent me an email telling me that my website question has been answered, but I have to log in to the website to see what the answer is. so in sum I have had 5 emails and have had to do two logins on a website to find out what is up. honestly, who comes up with these kinds of business processes?

 

[Chilly]

they've now sent me an email telling me that my website question has been answered, but I have to log in to the website to see what the answer is. so in sum I have had 5 emails and have had to do two logins on a website to find out what is up. honestly, who comes up with these kinds of business processes?

"process improvement executives". They spend money on helpdesk system XYZ, spend 18 months "integrating" it into the business and then move on with a glowing recommendation from the supplier of the system and leaving a trail of shit at each company they install it in. Don't forget the kickbacks from the suppliers, too. Happened at betfair multiple times, happens everywhere else too. Fun times.

 

[old.Tohtori]

Waking up really hungry. Worse as a diabetic really 'cause you feel like you're going to die

 

[fettoken]

Fucking women. Dance around, totally groping her all around, dance all night. Then when the night is about to end, she says something about "I cannot fall in love with her and she cannot be in a relationship right now". That's my line!

 

[old.Tohtori]

 

[Madmaxx]

Fucking women. Dance around, totally groping her all around, dance all night. Then when the night is about to end, she says something about "I cannot fall in love with her and she cannot be in a relationship right now". That's my line!

maybe you could say something like "who mentioned a relationship "

 

[soze]

I was talking to a girl from work who is so nice and so friendly. We sat there talking about this guy who will not take no for an answer and how she is really upset when guys read too much into her being friendly and mistake it for her being flirty. I then admitted that I had made that exact mistake before with her and had though she was interested in me. She made me dinner and in the nicest way ever told me that I am no where near her type so a relationship is out of the question. Friendzone again for me on the plus side she is fantastic looking in her comfy clothes and makes a awesome home made pizza.

 

[Scouse]

Friendzone again for me

I guess that's the point where you told her that the only reason you keep talking to her is the possibility that she'll introduce you to some friends of hers that you might have a chance of getting jiggy with - otherwise she wouldn't even make your own friendzone, right.

Right?

 

[soze]

I guess that's the point where you told her that the only reason you keep talking to her is the possibility that she'll introduce you to some friends of hers that you might have a chance of getting jiggy with - otherwise she wouldn't even make your own friendzone, right.

Right?

No sir. I immediately implemented my 15 year plan for pitty sex!

 

[sayward]

I have just booked my Speed Awareness Course!! £85!

 

[Raven]

Cats!

One came in with a fluffed up tail looking scared so shut him in the spare room with a bowl of felix. Try and tempt the other one in with another bowl of felix but he isn't remotely interested. 5 minutes later he is trying to get in the cat flap with a fully grown recently killed rabbit, now eating it on the lawn with a fuck you expression.

I would lock him out but he broke the locking mechanism on the cat flap when shut in once so now have to stay up and make sure I don't wake up to rabbit entrails all over the lounge tomorrow.

 

[Shagrat]

Cats!

One came in with a fluffed up tail looking scared so shut him in the spare room with a bowl of felix. Try and tempt the other one in with another bowl of felix but he isn't remotely interested. 5 minutes later he is trying to get in the cat flap with a fully grown recently killed rabbit, now eating it on the lawn with a fuck you expression.

I would lock him out but he broke the locking mechanism on the cat flap when shut in once so now have to stay up and make sure I don't wake up to rabbit entrails all over the lounge tomorrow.

Cats are ace aren't they

I came downstairs the other morning to discover what looked like the aftermath of a couple of pigeons being shot by an RPG, there were bits everywhere! I'm still finding feathers 3-4 days later

where my wife works the cat there has a penchant for rabbit. He tried to drag half of one in through the catflap, got bits hooked on the edge and kept pulling so gore got stretched halfway across the floor. George Romero would have been proud!

 

[Raven]

He is a ecologically minded cat and only catches to eat and then only rabbits, pigeons and magpies. The other one is too stupid to catch anything.

 

[mooSe_]

Mine's in to mouse heads. We often find decapitated corpses but never any sign of the head.

 

[Lakih]

Mine's in to mouse heads. We often find decapitated corpses but never any sign of the head.

Probably left it in some other cats bed...