OT:UK property laws

[milithiel]

does anyone know if you can do something to someones property if they put it on your land? i.e. if someone parks there car on your grass can you smash it up?

 

[erl]

Hehehe, now that was indeed pure 100% off topic. Gave me a good laugh though. How on earth did you come up with posting it here?

 

[milithiel]

because someone keeps parkin there car on my grass and i want to smash it up

posted it here cos its quicker for someone to reply than search through google lookin at all the useless results it can throw up.

if we were still running under SFXman there would have been a reply within 10 seconds at the most.

 

[Meatballs]

You must be so trusting if you'd smash up a car because someone on an online gaming forum said it was O.K.

 

[milithiel]

hehe, well i could always check it up if someone said something plus i already rang the police now and they r gonna come and fine him.

 

[Myshra]

er i think the stance is, if its definatly your land and hes not allowed to, he can be fined, but the object does not become yours saying that, best thing to do would be clamp him.

 

[old.Spanjab]

Smash it up and it's criminal damage afaik even if it is on your property.

Course if there were no witnesses then........

 

[old.Marabeth]

For an interesting idea build a wall around his car. To get his car out he'd have to destroy your property, and you could get him nicked for it

 

[danskmacabre]

I'd get lots of animal manure for fertilizer and "Fertilize your Grass"...not your fault if "some" of it ends up on his car.

After a while of getting shit dumped on his car, he'll stop parking there...

 

[Fafnir]

Well if you do smash it up its arbitrary conduct, but again he is guilty of the same thing, parking on your property without your consent, call the coppers and have it towed.

 

[Uncle Sick(tm)]

 

[danskmacabre]

Originally posted by sickofit...

ROFL

 

[milithiel]

Originally posted by old.Marabeth
For an interesting idea build a wall around his car. To get his car out he'd have to destroy your property, and you could get him nicked for it

HAHAHA thats the best idea by far

 

[milithiel]

Originally posted by sickofit...

hahaha nice1

 

[old.mattshanes]

Use a battering ram on it

 

[Trahg]

if there *accidentaly* was some pointy sharp thingies right where that guy parks his car... *coughs*

hey it's not your fault... you may do whatever you want to your property (you didn't directly do anything to the car)

even if the trap is discovered, he/she should have gotten the idea...

 

[Aeiedil]

maybe a sheds a better idea than a wall easier to be done before its noticed

 

[Asonn]

Don't even need to spend as much as that for a shed , just buy a few wooden stakes and some chicken wire , can have a nice little fence all round his car very quickly . And if he rips it down you can do him for trespass and criminal damage

 

[Catnip Lightpaw]

Someone told me that clamping is perfectly leagal as long as you put a warning notice up first, the you can clamp away and charge whatever for the removal, just put it on the notice

 

[SFXman]

That would be awesome... if it was like that... get people into leaving stuff at your house or get them so drunk they leave their cars at your house after a party, then destroy it all

 

[old.yaruar]

Just speak to a few of the local lads hanging round on the streetcorner and tell them them they can go joyriding for free in it ;-)
Either that or dig a big hole on either side of his tyres so if he moves he grounds the thing.

Say you were planning to plant roses or something ;-)

 

[old.Marabeth]

Originally posted by old.yaruar
Either that or dig a big hole on either side of his tyres so if he moves he grounds the thing.

Say you were planning to plant roses or something ;-)

If you do this and the guy hurts himself you will get sued into poverty. You are liable for the safety of people on your property, even people with guns who break into your house

Any holes dug in house or grounds must be clearly marked, and sensible fencing put up around them (although even that won't really help). It is almost to the point where if a person breaks into your house and drinks bleach you'd better hope you have it stored in a cabinet that is properly labeled.....

 

[fatgit]

Originally posted by milithiel
because someone keeps parkin there car on my grass and i want to smash it up

posted it here cos its quicker for someone to reply than search through google lookin at all the useless results it can throw up.

if we were still running under SFXman there would have been a reply within 10 seconds at the most.

Has he damaged the grass ? If so, it's criminal damage
Either go see a lawyer or write him a letter of intent to sue and include a quote for a new lawn

Failing that, put up a notice that any unauthorised vehicles will be clamped with a £100 release fee BEFORE he parks, then clamp the bugger. If he removes the clamp, it's criminal damage

Personally, Id order a ton of horse manure to be dumped over HIS lawn, clamp him AND sue the bugger

 

[Celeste_Cross]

How about this...

You follow him home to find out where he lives. Then, you go to a butchers and get the bloodiest item u can get. You then drain all the blood into condoms, and hurl them at his house screaming

"YOU WANNA PIECE OF ME?!? WELL HERE'S A PIECE OF ME"

works like a dream

Celeste Cross
<Dead Dragons Society>
lev 24 Inf, Excal

currently very bored at work

 

[old.Shivian]

Originally posted by Celeste_Cross
How about this...

You follow him home to find out where he lives. Then, you go to a butchers and get the bloodiest item u can get. You then drain all the blood into condoms, and hurl them at his house screaming

"YOU WANNA PIECE OF ME?!? WELL HERE'S A PIECE OF ME"

works like a dream

currently very bored at work

My goodness, why do I get the feeling you've actually done this.....more than once.

 

[Celeste_Cross]

Originally posted by old.Shivian


My goodness, why do I get the feeling you've actually done this.....more than once.

I don't know, why do you?

anyway, if that doesn't work, try this:

**WARNING!! If you're vegetarian, or a devout believer in Animal Rights, don't read this!**

For this one you need to be the legal owner of a dead cow.

Still with me? ok, first you take the dead cow, drain the blood into a bucket or two. Then you stave it's head in with a spade. next, grab a paint roller (the kind you use to paint your walls), preferably the type with the really long handle, your bucket of blood, and a tennis ball.

Load everything up into a transit van (i reccomend you put tarpaulin (sp?) in the back first), and drive to the victims house.

Now, this only works if they live in a house/bungalow, it doesn't really work if they live in a flat.

Ok, at night you take the cow and lie it on the lawn with it's head facing the wall, underneath a 2nd storey window. Then you get the bucket of blood and the paint roller, and roll a long streak of blood up the wall to the window. Soak the tennis ball in blood, and then splash the rest of the blood around liberally.

Start the van.

Now you throw the blood-soaked tennis ball against the 2nd storey window, and quickly drive away.


This has 2 possible outcomes. The victims may wake at the BONK sound, and look outside. That, or they get a hellova shock in the morning.

Either way, for all intents and purposes it looks like a cow has flown into the window at night, and died, much like sparrows are want to do.

lets see them explain THAT to the counsellor!

Oh, and try to find out whether the victim is Hindu first, may not be as appreciated...

love

Celeste Cross
<Dead Dragons Society>
lev 24 inf, Excal

 

[milithiel]

wtf that is the craziest piece of advice ive heard in my life.

 

[milithiel]

i put your post through the T'inator for some reasnon, maybe it sounds less crazy (http://firefly.sparse.org/~mrt/)
quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by old.Shivian


Mr.T goodness, why do the darn Faceman get the feeling Hannibal've actually done 'dis.....Helluva than once. Fool!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



the darn Faceman don't know, why do Murdock? Crazy foo.

anyway, if that darn doesn't work, try this crazy :

**WARNING!! He's gonna be a package of cream cheese in a minute! If You Foo're vegetarian, or a devout believer in Animal Rights, don't read thems!**

For 'dis one Ya need to be the crazy legal owner of a dead cow. I'll knock you into next week, Fool!

Still with Murdock? ok, first Ya take the crazy dead cow, drain the crazy blood into a bucket or two. I ain't afraid to fly, and I ain't afraid of no monkeys either. Then You Foo stave it's head in with a spade. He was the baddest cat around... 'Till I showed up. next, grab a paint roller (the darn kind Murdock use to paint your walls), preferably the type with the crazy really Helluva handle, your bucket of blood, and a tennis ball. Got no time for the Jibba Jabba.

Load everything up into a transit van ( Mr.T reccomend U put tarpaulin (sp?) in that darn back first), and drive to some victims house. You shove me again, and I'll wrap that gun around your face!

Now, 'dis only works if they live in a house/bungalow, it doesn't really work if they live in a flat. Crazy Fool!

Ok, at night some Faceman take the darn cow and lie it on the darn lawn with it's head facing the wall, underneath a 2nd storey window. No, fool! Then You Foo get the darn bucket of blood and some paint roller, and roll a Helluva streak of blood up the wall to the darn window. I'll knock you into next week, Fool! Soak some tennis ball in blood, and then splash the crazy rest of that darn blood around liberally. Murdock... Is this your chicken?

Start the darn van. Crazy foo.

Now that darn Faceman throw that darn blood-soaked tennis ball against the darn 2nd storey window, and quickly drive away. You mind your own business, fool!


thems has 2 possible outcomes. Shut up, fool! the darn victims may wake at some BONK sound, and look outside. Murdock... is this your chicken? that darn, or they get a hellova shock in the crazy morning. What you talkin' 'bout, fool!?! I don't remember none of that!

Either way, for all intents and purposes it looks like a cow has flown into that darn window at night, and died, Helluva like sparrows are want to do. You got a problem with that?

lets see them explain that darn to the counsellor! ...And that's for a little boy named Joey!!

Oh, and try to find out whether the crazy victim gunna be Hindu first, may not be as appreciated... This man's nuts!

love

Celeste Cross
<Dead Dragons Society>
lev 24 inf, Excal

 

[Addlcove]

Originally posted by Celeste_Cross


I don't know, why do you?

anyway, if that doesn't work, try this:

**WARNING!! If you're vegetarian, or a devout believer in Animal Rights, don't read this!**

For this one you need to be the legal owner of a dead cow.

Still with me? ok, first you take the dead cow, drain the blood into a bucket or two. Then you stave it's head in with a spade. next, grab a paint roller (the kind you use to paint your walls), preferably the type with the really long handle, your bucket of blood, and a tennis ball.

Load everything up into a transit van (i reccomend you put tarpaulin (sp?) in the back first), and drive to the victims house.

Now, this only works if they live in a house/bungalow, it doesn't really work if they live in a flat.

Ok, at night you take the cow and lie it on the lawn with it's head facing the wall, underneath a 2nd storey window. Then you get the bucket of blood and the paint roller, and roll a long streak of blood up the wall to the window. Soak the tennis ball in blood, and then splash the rest of the blood around liberally.

Start the van.

Now you throw the blood-soaked tennis ball against the 2nd storey window, and quickly drive away.


This has 2 possible outcomes. The victims may wake at the BONK sound, and look outside. That, or they get a hellova shock in the morning.

Either way, for all intents and purposes it looks like a cow has flown into the window at night, and died, much like sparrows are want to do.

lets see them explain THAT to the counsellor!

Oh, and try to find out whether the victim is Hindu first, may not be as appreciated...

love

Celeste Cross
<Dead Dragons Society>
lev 24 inf, Excal

me remembers he has a practical joke in advanagte over a friend

thanks for the tip, now, WHERE do I buy a cow?

 

[milithiel]

Originally posted by Octanion

Murdock remembers Murdock has a practical joke in advanagte over a friend

thanks for the crazy tip, now, WHERE do Hannibal buy a cow