- Joined
- Apr 21, 2008
- Messages
- 11,574
If all you have done is sent texts to her (and nothing else ??) how do you feel you have cheated, or have the texts been of a very explicit sexual nature, and you are feeling guilty about them?
The 'spark' can be great but can also cloud your judgement, as you will, and by the sounds of it, have started to compare new girl to your GF. Thats dangerous as you will get yourself in to the situation of stating to hate little niggling things about her
The whole blocking your phone thing was a bad idea too, all you had to do was send a text to new girl and explain why she shouldn't text you, till you text her. You have all these things going through your head and starting to assume too much, Try to realise that she may not be answering the phone simply cos she doesn't want to talk atm, and by keep hounding her is only going to wind her up even more, but she will want to know you are concerned about her, so try not to overkill it
The main thing now is, when you do speak to her, be honest and open and explain everything, how you have been feeling, ask her what she is feeling, and if the other girl situation is nothing more than you say then tell her you just needed to talk to someone and she happened to be there at the time
And be carefull if you are going to text her instead, it is easier to express things better when you write things down, but texts can also be a double edged sword. Read back what you text b4 you send it, its so easy to send shitty texts in the heat of the moment, but once you hit that send button, you will kick yourself, trust me i know from bitter experiance
The thing is though, and you might not want to think about this, but, if its not working, its not working, and you may have to weigh up the pro's and con's and work out if you are just running around after her, only to get back in the ring for round 2
When i first got my house with my ex, from day one it never worked, and it took 2 years for us to fight, bitch and ignore each other b4 we finally called it a day. It went on longer than it should have, which meant we started to resent each other and as i said, the slightest little things would niggle us, and would be used for the basis of a petty arguement
I really feel for you Darth, cos i have been in your shoes, if you really feel its worth saving, then go for it hell for leather, but, and its a big but, you really need to be honest for both of you, and try to work out where you think it will end up. Its pointless going round and round in circles and prolonging the enevitable at the end of the day
Good luck to you mate, i hope it works out, which ever way you both decide to go, and yes you should talk to your friends, but talking to us here on FH is also good because will get more of an impatial (sp) reply than your friends might give you
The 'spark' can be great but can also cloud your judgement, as you will, and by the sounds of it, have started to compare new girl to your GF. Thats dangerous as you will get yourself in to the situation of stating to hate little niggling things about her
The whole blocking your phone thing was a bad idea too, all you had to do was send a text to new girl and explain why she shouldn't text you, till you text her. You have all these things going through your head and starting to assume too much, Try to realise that she may not be answering the phone simply cos she doesn't want to talk atm, and by keep hounding her is only going to wind her up even more, but she will want to know you are concerned about her, so try not to overkill it
The main thing now is, when you do speak to her, be honest and open and explain everything, how you have been feeling, ask her what she is feeling, and if the other girl situation is nothing more than you say then tell her you just needed to talk to someone and she happened to be there at the time
And be carefull if you are going to text her instead, it is easier to express things better when you write things down, but texts can also be a double edged sword. Read back what you text b4 you send it, its so easy to send shitty texts in the heat of the moment, but once you hit that send button, you will kick yourself, trust me i know from bitter experiance
The thing is though, and you might not want to think about this, but, if its not working, its not working, and you may have to weigh up the pro's and con's and work out if you are just running around after her, only to get back in the ring for round 2
When i first got my house with my ex, from day one it never worked, and it took 2 years for us to fight, bitch and ignore each other b4 we finally called it a day. It went on longer than it should have, which meant we started to resent each other and as i said, the slightest little things would niggle us, and would be used for the basis of a petty arguement
I really feel for you Darth, cos i have been in your shoes, if you really feel its worth saving, then go for it hell for leather, but, and its a big but, you really need to be honest for both of you, and try to work out where you think it will end up. Its pointless going round and round in circles and prolonging the enevitable at the end of the day
Good luck to you mate, i hope it works out, which ever way you both decide to go, and yes you should talk to your friends, but talking to us here on FH is also good because will get more of an impatial (sp) reply than your friends might give you
