Jokes

[Ormorof]

lol @ zidane

admit i had to say it out loud before i got it though

 

[Calaen]

Simon and Paul live in are flat mates, one day Paul decides he wants to invite his mam over for a meal so they organise it all and everything goes brilliant. After the meal they're sitting talking and Paul's mam says, "I don't mean to be funny but are oyu two seeing each other?"
"Oh no, no no, we're just flat mates," they both respond immediately.

3 days later Simon turns to Paul asking where the frying pan is. "I don't mean to be funny but I haven't seen it since your mam was here," he comments. Paul agrees so decides to give his mam a ring.
"Hi mam, I'm not accusing you of anything but have you seen the frying pan, just it seems to have gone missing and the last tiem we saw it was when you came over."
His mam replies:
"I'm not accusing you of anything Paul, but if Simon slept in his own bed he'd know where the frying pan was!"

 

[Ormorof]

Simon and Paul live in are flat mates, one day Paul decides he wants to invite his mam over for a meal so they organise it all and everything goes brilliant. After the meal they're sitting talking and Paul's mam says, "I don't mean to be funny but are oyu two seeing each other?"
"Oh no, no no, we're just flat mates," they both respond immediately.

3 days later Simon turns to Paul asking where the frying pan is. "I don't mean to be funny but I haven't seen it since your mam was here," he comments. Paul agrees so decides to give his mam a ring.
"Hi mam, I'm not accusing you of anything but have you seen the frying pan, just it seems to have gone missing and the last tiem we saw it was when you came over."
His mam replies:
"I'm not accusing you of anything Paul, but if Simon slept in his own bed he'd know where the frying pan was!"

LOL

edit: nerf "You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Calaen again."

 

[Calaen]

Man walks into the bedroom with a sheep under his arm while his wife is lying in bed reading. Man says: "This is the pig I have sex with whenyou've got a headache." Wife replies: "I think you'll find, that is a sheep."Man replies: "I think you'll find I was talking to thesheep."

 

[[SS]Gamblor]

Saw this on another forum , made me laugh =)

In this out-of-the-way village there was a man called "onestone". This wasn't his real name but everyone called him it because he had Only one testicle. After years and years of this torment onestone cracked and said, "If anyone calls me onestone again I will kill them!" The word got around and Nobody called him onestone any more.

Then one day a young girl forgot and said, "Good morning onestone." He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest, where he shagged her all day, he shagged her all night, he shagged her all The next day, until she died from exhaustion. The word got around that Onestone meant business.

Years went by until a woman returned to the village after many years away.She was overjoyed when she saw onestone and hugged him and said, "Good to see you onestone." Again, onestone grabbed her and took her deep Into the forest where he shagged her all day, shagged her all night, Shagged her all the next day, shagged her all the next night, but she wouldn't die!

What is the moral of the story? "You can't kill two birds with the one stone."

 

[Calaen]

Haha

 

[mikke]

Old !

http://www.artige.no/bilde/17243

 

[Bob007]

Was out one night and I meet this pikey bird. Stunner to. Was clean shaven and everything.

We had some drinks. I took her for a meal and towards the end of the night she said "do you want to come back to mine for a really wild time"

She didn't lie either. I went on the speedway, the waltzers and the big wheel and went home with a goldfish.

 

[Access Denied]

How do you keep a blonde occupied all day?

Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner.