Jokes
- Thread starter Jai13
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[SS]Gamblor
Fledgling Freddie
- Joined
- Feb 1, 2004
- Messages
- 1,293
What did the Penguin say to his friend in the bath ?
Pass the typewriter
Pass the typewriter
Thorwyn
FH is my second home
- Joined
- Dec 22, 2003
- Messages
- 4,752
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I think I've lost an electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?"
The first says, "Yes, I'm positive..."
rather old one.. but still:
Drive-in Cash machine
Instructions for males
1. Drive to the cash machine
2. Open the window
3. Insert your card
4. Enter your PIN
5. Enter the ammount of money
6. Withdraw the money you want to withdraw
7. Close the window
8. Continue your trip
Instructions for females
1. Ask someone for directions to the cash machine.
2. Drive to the cash machine
3. Pull back a little, so your window is next to the cash machine
4. Retart the choked engine
5. open the window
6. Empty yout handbag on the front passengers seat and look for the card
7. Check your Make-Up in the rear view mirror while you do
8. Grab the pile on the front passengers seat and put it back into your handbag
9. Open the door of the car to get closer to the machine because the distance is still too high
10. Insert the card
11. Insert the card again, this time in correct orientation
12. Search the pile on the front passengers seat for the little address book that contains your PIN
13. Enter your PIN
14. Stop the process and enter your PIN again, this time correctly
15. Enter the ammount of money you want to withdraw
16. Stop the process and enter an ammount of money with a maximum of 4 digits
17. Withdraw the money
18. Grab the pile on the front passengers seat and put it back into your handbag
19. Empty your handbag on the front passengers seat and look for the purse
20. Put the money into the purse
21. Grab the pile on the front passengers seat and put it back into your handbag
22. Drive two meters
23. Pull back two meters and take the card from the cash machine
24. Empty your handbag on the front passengers seat and look for the purse
25. Put the card into the purse
26. Grab the pile on the front passengers seat and put it back into your handbag
27. Restart the choked engine
28. Continue your trip
29. After 2 miles, release the handbrake
The other says, "Are you sure?"
The first says, "Yes, I'm positive..."
rather old one.. but still:
Drive-in Cash machine
Instructions for males
1. Drive to the cash machine
2. Open the window
3. Insert your card
4. Enter your PIN
5. Enter the ammount of money
6. Withdraw the money you want to withdraw
7. Close the window
8. Continue your trip
Instructions for females
1. Ask someone for directions to the cash machine.
2. Drive to the cash machine
3. Pull back a little, so your window is next to the cash machine
4. Retart the choked engine
5. open the window
6. Empty yout handbag on the front passengers seat and look for the card
7. Check your Make-Up in the rear view mirror while you do
8. Grab the pile on the front passengers seat and put it back into your handbag
9. Open the door of the car to get closer to the machine because the distance is still too high
10. Insert the card
11. Insert the card again, this time in correct orientation
12. Search the pile on the front passengers seat for the little address book that contains your PIN
13. Enter your PIN
14. Stop the process and enter your PIN again, this time correctly
15. Enter the ammount of money you want to withdraw
16. Stop the process and enter an ammount of money with a maximum of 4 digits
17. Withdraw the money
18. Grab the pile on the front passengers seat and put it back into your handbag
19. Empty your handbag on the front passengers seat and look for the purse
20. Put the money into the purse
21. Grab the pile on the front passengers seat and put it back into your handbag
22. Drive two meters
23. Pull back two meters and take the card from the cash machine
24. Empty your handbag on the front passengers seat and look for the purse
25. Put the card into the purse
26. Grab the pile on the front passengers seat and put it back into your handbag
27. Restart the choked engine
28. Continue your trip
29. After 2 miles, release the handbrake
An American, A German, and an Irish walks into a bar. They order a pint of beer of their liking and start to drink up while they are chatting. After a few minutes, three flies accidentally gets in each three of the pints.
The American takes the fly out of his pint and says "Oh man, that's gross" and asks the bartender for a new beer.
The German takes the fly out of his pint and says "well, what the heck..." and continues to drink up his beer.
The Irish gets a hold of the fly and lifts it gently from its wing precisely above the pint. He started shaking the fly mildy and yells "Spit it out, SPIT IT OUT!!"
The American takes the fly out of his pint and says "Oh man, that's gross" and asks the bartender for a new beer.
The German takes the fly out of his pint and says "well, what the heck..." and continues to drink up his beer.
The Irish gets a hold of the fly and lifts it gently from its wing precisely above the pint. He started shaking the fly mildy and yells "Spit it out, SPIT IT OUT!!"
Laddey
FH is my second home
- Joined
- May 24, 2005
- Messages
- 7,124
Pera said:An American, A German, and an Irish walks into a bar. They order a pint of beer of their liking and start to drink up while they are chatting. After a few minutes, three flies accidentally gets in each three of the pints.
The American takes the fly out of his pint and says "Oh man, that's gross" and asks the bartender for a new beer.
The German takes the fly out of his pint and says "well, what the heck..." and continues to drink up his beer.
The Irish gets a hold of the fly and lifts it gently from its wing precisely above the pint. He started shaking the fly mildy and yells "Spit it out, SPIT IT OUT!!"
Rofl.
Ormorof
FH is my second home
- Joined
- Dec 22, 2003
- Messages
- 9,888
A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
CHEESEBURGER: $2.50
CHICKEN SANDWICH: $3.50
HANDJOB: $10.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to a meager looking group of men.
"Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile, "can I help you?"
"I was wondering", whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the
hand-jobs?"
"Yes," she purrs, "I am."
The man replies: "Well, go wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger!"
CHEESEBURGER: $2.50
CHICKEN SANDWICH: $3.50
HANDJOB: $10.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to a meager looking group of men.
"Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile, "can I help you?"
"I was wondering", whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the
hand-jobs?"
"Yes," she purrs, "I am."
The man replies: "Well, go wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger!"
Vladamir
FH is my second home
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2003
- Messages
- 15,105
The French Camel
Two guys are on duty at a French Foreign Legion fort. One says to the other one, "See that camel over there? I'll bet you I can make him jump 30 feet in the air.
The other guy says no way.
So, the first guy walks around to the back of the camel with two bricks. Reaches in between the camel's legs and crashes the bricks together. Camel jumps 30 feet in the air.
A couple of days later the first guy says to the second guy. I bet you I can make that camel nod his head yes.
The second guy says, " You got me last time. But there's no way you can make that dumb animal nod his head yes."
The first guy takes the same two bricks, walks around to the front of the camel, holds up the bricks and says,"Remember me?".
The camel nods.....
The Ages Of Women
1. Between the ages of 16 and 18, she is like Africa, virgin and unexplored.
2. Between the ages of 19 and 35, she is like Asia, hot and exotic.
3. Between the ages of 36 and 45, she is like America, fully explored, breathtakingly beautiful, and free with her resources.
4. Between the ages of 46 and 56, she is like Europe, exhausted but still has points of interest.
5. After 56 she is like Australia, everybody knows it's down there but who gives a damn?
A South American Scientist, from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient sexual activity in their lives tend to readforums with their hand still on the mouse.
Don't bother taking it off, it's too late....
D)
A little old lady went to the grocery store and put the most expensive cat food in her basket. She then went to the check out counter where she told the check out girl,
"Nothing but the best for my little kitten."
The girl at the cash register said, "I'm sorry, but we cannot sell you cat food without proof that you have a cat. A lot of old people buy cat food to eat, and the management wants proof that you are buying the cat food for your cat."
The little old lady went home, picked up her cat and brought it back to the store. They sold her the cat food. The next day, the old lady went to the store and bought 12 of the most expensive dog cookies. The cashier this time demanded proof that she now had a dog, claiming that old people sometimes eat dog food.
Frustrated she went home, came back and brought in her dog. She was then given the dog cookies. The next day she brought in a box with a hole in the lid. The little old lady asked the cashier to stick her finger in the hole. The cashier said, "No, you might have a snake in there."
The little old lady assured her that there was nothing in the box that would bite her. So the cashier put her finger into the box and pulled it out and told the little old lady, "That smells like crap."
The little old lady grinned from ear to ear, "Now, my dear, can I please buy three rolls of toilet paper?" Never fool around with a Little old lady!
Two elderly gentlemen, who had been without sex for several years, decided they needed to visit a whore house. When they arrived at the house, the Madam took one look at them and decided she wasn't going to waste any of her girls on these two old men. So she used "blow-up" dolls instead. She put a doll in each man's room and left them to their business. After the two men were finished, they started for home and got to talking. The first man said,
"I think the girl I had was dead. She never moved, talked or groaned. How was it for you?"
The second man replied, "I think mine was a witch."
The first man asked, "How's that?"
"Well," said the second man, "when I nibbled on her breast, she farted and flew out the window!"
Two guys are on duty at a French Foreign Legion fort. One says to the other one, "See that camel over there? I'll bet you I can make him jump 30 feet in the air.
The other guy says no way.
So, the first guy walks around to the back of the camel with two bricks. Reaches in between the camel's legs and crashes the bricks together. Camel jumps 30 feet in the air.
A couple of days later the first guy says to the second guy. I bet you I can make that camel nod his head yes.
The second guy says, " You got me last time. But there's no way you can make that dumb animal nod his head yes."
The first guy takes the same two bricks, walks around to the front of the camel, holds up the bricks and says,"Remember me?".
The camel nods.....
The Ages Of Women
1. Between the ages of 16 and 18, she is like Africa, virgin and unexplored.
2. Between the ages of 19 and 35, she is like Asia, hot and exotic.
3. Between the ages of 36 and 45, she is like America, fully explored, breathtakingly beautiful, and free with her resources.
4. Between the ages of 46 and 56, she is like Europe, exhausted but still has points of interest.
5. After 56 she is like Australia, everybody knows it's down there but who gives a damn?
A South American Scientist, from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient sexual activity in their lives tend to readforums with their hand still on the mouse.
Don't bother taking it off, it's too late....
D)A little old lady went to the grocery store and put the most expensive cat food in her basket. She then went to the check out counter where she told the check out girl,
"Nothing but the best for my little kitten."
The girl at the cash register said, "I'm sorry, but we cannot sell you cat food without proof that you have a cat. A lot of old people buy cat food to eat, and the management wants proof that you are buying the cat food for your cat."
The little old lady went home, picked up her cat and brought it back to the store. They sold her the cat food. The next day, the old lady went to the store and bought 12 of the most expensive dog cookies. The cashier this time demanded proof that she now had a dog, claiming that old people sometimes eat dog food.
Frustrated she went home, came back and brought in her dog. She was then given the dog cookies. The next day she brought in a box with a hole in the lid. The little old lady asked the cashier to stick her finger in the hole. The cashier said, "No, you might have a snake in there."
The little old lady assured her that there was nothing in the box that would bite her. So the cashier put her finger into the box and pulled it out and told the little old lady, "That smells like crap."
The little old lady grinned from ear to ear, "Now, my dear, can I please buy three rolls of toilet paper?" Never fool around with a Little old lady!
Two elderly gentlemen, who had been without sex for several years, decided they needed to visit a whore house. When they arrived at the house, the Madam took one look at them and decided she wasn't going to waste any of her girls on these two old men. So she used "blow-up" dolls instead. She put a doll in each man's room and left them to their business. After the two men were finished, they started for home and got to talking. The first man said,
"I think the girl I had was dead. She never moved, talked or groaned. How was it for you?"
The second man replied, "I think mine was a witch."
The first man asked, "How's that?"
"Well," said the second man, "when I nibbled on her breast, she farted and flew out the window!"
Laddey
FH is my second home
- Joined
- May 24, 2005
- Messages
- 7,124
Ormorof said:A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
CHEESEBURGER: $2.50
CHICKEN SANDWICH: $3.50
HANDJOB: $10.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to a meager looking group of men.
"Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile, "can I help you?"
"I was wondering", whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the
hand-jobs?"
"Yes," she purrs, "I am."
The man replies: "Well, go wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger!"
lol, rep. Vlad your post is so long
Laddey
FH is my second home
- Joined
- May 24, 2005
- Messages
- 7,124
A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.
The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.
The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.
Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.
Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.
To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes.
The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"
The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"
In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."
Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"
The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.
The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.
He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.
Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.
The blonde started laughing.
This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.
This time the blonde laughed even harder.
Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.
The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.
The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat.
The driver blonde turned to her friend and said "You know - it's blondes like that that give us a bad name!"
To this, the other blonde replies "I know it, and if I knew how to swim, I'd go out there and drown her.
The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.
The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.
Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.
Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.
To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes.
The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"
The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"
In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."
Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"
The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.
The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.
He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.
Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.
The blonde started laughing.
This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.
This time the blonde laughed even harder.
Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.
The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.
The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat.
The driver blonde turned to her friend and said "You know - it's blondes like that that give us a bad name!"
To this, the other blonde replies "I know it, and if I knew how to swim, I'd go out there and drown her.
Lamp
Gold Star Holder!!
- Joined
- Jan 16, 2005
- Messages
- 23,142
Ormorof said:A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
CHEESEBURGER: $2.50
CHICKEN SANDWICH: $3.50
HANDJOB: $10.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to a meager looking group of men.
"Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile, "can I help you?"
"I was wondering", whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the
hand-jobs?"
"Yes," she purrs, "I am."
The man replies: "Well, go wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger!"
LMAO
Ironfalcon
Can't get enough of FH
- Joined
- Jun 13, 2004
- Messages
- 1,222
http://www.yourfilehost.com/media.php?cat=video&file=southparkjoke_thearistocrats.wmv
Best joke evah! I couldnt say it any better myself.. xD
Best joke evah! I couldnt say it any better myself.. xD
Vladamir
FH is my second home
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2003
- Messages
- 15,105
MEDICARE RECOMMENDATION
The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, "Hello."
"Mrs Ward please."
"Speaking."
"Mrs. Ward, this is Doctor Jones at the Medical Testing Laboratory. When
your Doctor sent your husband,s biopsy to the lab yesterday, a biopsy from
another Mr. Ward arrived as well, and we are uncertain which one is your
husband's. Frankly the results are either bad or terrible."
"What do you mean?" Mrs Ward asks nervously.
"Well one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and the other
one tested positive for AIDS. We can't tell which is your husband's."
"That's dreadful! Can't you do the test again?" questioned Mrs. Ward.
"Normally we can, but Medicare will only pay for these expensive tests one
time."
"Well what am I supposed to do now?"
"The people at Medicare recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere
in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him."
The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, "Hello."
"Mrs Ward please."
"Speaking."
"Mrs. Ward, this is Doctor Jones at the Medical Testing Laboratory. When
your Doctor sent your husband,s biopsy to the lab yesterday, a biopsy from
another Mr. Ward arrived as well, and we are uncertain which one is your
husband's. Frankly the results are either bad or terrible."
"What do you mean?" Mrs Ward asks nervously.
"Well one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and the other
one tested positive for AIDS. We can't tell which is your husband's."
"That's dreadful! Can't you do the test again?" questioned Mrs. Ward.
"Normally we can, but Medicare will only pay for these expensive tests one
time."
"Well what am I supposed to do now?"
"The people at Medicare recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere
in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him."
Ormorof
FH is my second home
- Joined
- Dec 22, 2003
- Messages
- 9,888
since theres so much serious offtopicness going on, lets have some jokes about brave men...
What's the definition of the bravest man in the world??
The man who comes home drunk, covered in lipstick and smelling of
perfume, then slaps his wife on the backside and says:
"You're next,fatty."
>-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Man walks into the bedroom with a sheep under his arm while his wife is
lying in bed reading.
Man says: "This is the pig I have sex with when you've got a headache."
Wife replies: "I think you'll find, that is a sheep."
Man replies: "I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
A man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing a suitcase.
He asks, "What are you doing?"
She answers, "I'm moving to Sydney. I heard prostitutes there get paid
$400 for doing what I do for you for free."
Later that night, on her way out, the wife walks into the bedroom and
sees her husband packing his suitcase. When she asks him where he's
going, he replies, "I'm coming too I want to see how you live on $800 a
year".
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:
* 2 litres of low fat milk
* a carton of eggs
* 2 litres of orange juice
* a head of lettuce
* half a dozen tomatoes
* a 500g jar of coffee
* a 250g pack of bacon
As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, A
drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of
the cashier.
While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated,
"You must be single."
The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued
by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single.
She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly
unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the Drunk to her
marital status.
Curiosity getting the better of her, she said, "Well, you know what,
you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"
The drunk replied, "Cos' you're ugly."
(last one is my favourite )
What's the definition of the bravest man in the world??
The man who comes home drunk, covered in lipstick and smelling of
perfume, then slaps his wife on the backside and says:
"You're next,fatty."
>-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Man walks into the bedroom with a sheep under his arm while his wife is
lying in bed reading.
Man says: "This is the pig I have sex with when you've got a headache."
Wife replies: "I think you'll find, that is a sheep."
Man replies: "I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
A man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing a suitcase.
He asks, "What are you doing?"
She answers, "I'm moving to Sydney. I heard prostitutes there get paid
$400 for doing what I do for you for free."
Later that night, on her way out, the wife walks into the bedroom and
sees her husband packing his suitcase. When she asks him where he's
going, he replies, "I'm coming too I want to see how you live on $800 a
year".
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:
* 2 litres of low fat milk
* a carton of eggs
* 2 litres of orange juice
* a head of lettuce
* half a dozen tomatoes
* a 500g jar of coffee
* a 250g pack of bacon
As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, A
drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of
the cashier.
While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated,
"You must be single."
The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued
by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single.
She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly
unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the Drunk to her
marital status.
Curiosity getting the better of her, she said, "Well, you know what,
you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"
The drunk replied, "Cos' you're ugly."
(last one is my favourite
)
Laddey
FH is my second home
- Joined
- May 24, 2005
- Messages
- 7,124
In America, they say it's 10:00 do you know where your children are?
In England, they say it's 10:00 do you know where your husband is?
In Paris, they say it's 10:00 do you know where your wife is?
And in Ireland, they say it's 10:00 do you know what time it is?
In England, they say it's 10:00 do you know where your husband is?
In Paris, they say it's 10:00 do you know where your wife is?
And in Ireland, they say it's 10:00 do you know what time it is?
Ormorof
FH is my second home
- Joined
- Dec 22, 2003
- Messages
- 9,888
and oldie, but goodie....
A man heads to las vegas on a weekend trip to seek his fortune, in the first casino he enters he wins the big prize of $500,000, in situations like these its Casino policy to offer their best room to the winner in the hope he will stay and loose it all the next day...
the man gladly accepts the room and heads up and yet he's feeling a tad lonely with all that money and that big bed all for himself, so he rings reception and says "room service? send me the best damn call girl in town!!"
as ordered the girl shows up and she's a stunner, already drooling the man asks "how much do you charge for a hand job?" to which she replies, "1000 bucks mr", "1000 dollars?!?! are you mad?!" he protests, she responds by walking over to the window and pointing "see that shopping mall down there? i bought that with what i earnt from hand jobs..."
amazed the man hands over the cash and is duly rewarded, he is panting with pleasure by the time she is finished, "blimey! that was the best damn hand job ive ever had! how much for a blowjob?", "20,000 bucks"
perplexed the man angrily responds "thats outrageous!!"
again the call girl walks to the window and points, "see that casino over there? i bought that with the money i earnt from blowjobs"
wowed the man hands over the cash and is again duly rewarded, after a while she finishes and leaves him drooling, with eyes rolling at the ecstasy of pleasure....
slightly exhausted but quite curious the man asks "ok then... how much for abit of pussy?"
the call girl then walks to the window again... "mr, if i had a pussy, i would own this whole damn town!!"
A man heads to las vegas on a weekend trip to seek his fortune, in the first casino he enters he wins the big prize of $500,000, in situations like these its Casino policy to offer their best room to the winner in the hope he will stay and loose it all the next day...
the man gladly accepts the room and heads up and yet he's feeling a tad lonely with all that money and that big bed all for himself, so he rings reception and says "room service? send me the best damn call girl in town!!"
as ordered the girl shows up and she's a stunner, already drooling the man asks "how much do you charge for a hand job?" to which she replies, "1000 bucks mr", "1000 dollars?!?! are you mad?!" he protests, she responds by walking over to the window and pointing "see that shopping mall down there? i bought that with what i earnt from hand jobs..."
amazed the man hands over the cash and is duly rewarded, he is panting with pleasure by the time she is finished, "blimey! that was the best damn hand job ive ever had! how much for a blowjob?", "20,000 bucks"
perplexed the man angrily responds "thats outrageous!!"
again the call girl walks to the window and points, "see that casino over there? i bought that with the money i earnt from blowjobs"
wowed the man hands over the cash and is again duly rewarded, after a while she finishes and leaves him drooling, with eyes rolling at the ecstasy of pleasure....
slightly exhausted but quite curious the man asks "ok then... how much for abit of pussy?"
the call girl then walks to the window again... "mr, if i had a pussy, i would own this whole damn town!!"