Jeff and Tonder in DAoC

[old.Tohtori]

Well you might remember Jeff and Tonder in DAoC in those, semi comic style bits. Or might not, in which case this is whole new thing to you

Anyway, enjoy.

Background: Jeff is the zerkerdwarf and tonder the healernorse.



Tonder: So, you saw a couple of arachnids.
Jeff: Yup.
Tonder: Noticed that there were two more ara groups not three feet from them.
Jeff: Yup.
Tonder: Decided that throwing an apple would be the appropriate way to handle the situation.
Jeff: Right.
Tonder: And after noticing that all three groups wanted a little bit dwarfsoup, to run to that group of noobs...
Jeff: Aha.
Tonder: Ask for help...
Jeff: Naturally.
Tonder: And then sprint out of the woods leaving the new guys to their doom after they attacked the aras...
Jeff: The result was good.
Tonder: Namely you getting far enough and them dying?
Jeff: Mmhm.
Tonder: Your lucky this ain't a pvp server...
Jeff: I'd rule that place.
Tonder: *sigh*

-----------------

Jeff: Hey tonder look!
Tonder: What now...i'm busy ressing these noobs...
Jeff: Come on! Look!
Tonder: What is i....Jeff...
Jeff: Yeah?
Tonder: How'd you manage to get FIVE(!!) other guys killed while i ressed these guys?!
Jeff: Tested the pvp option.
Tonder:...what...? This ain't a pvp server!!!
Jeff: The noobs didn't know it.
Tonder: Bu...you can't just...
Jeff: Sure i can! *whack!*
*Elletor was just killed by Jeff*
Tonder: Jeff!!

----------------------

Tonder: We're really sorry.
Jeff: I'm not.
Tonder: Shhh! Ahem....he didn't mean to do it...he just got carried away.
Jeff: I so did meant to do it.
Tonder: Shut up....we promise HE won't do it again.
Jeff: I'm not promising.
GM: Krhm. Well, just don't go whacking peopel on a non-pvp server and we'll have no problems. Ok?
Tonder: Sure thing sir.
Jeff: I'll whack you...
GM: Excuse me?
Tonder: Nevermind him, he said nothing.
Jeff: I said...i'll....whack....you!
GM: I'd like to see you try *laughter*
Tonder: Crap...
*GM was just killed by Jeff*
Tonder: Oh this is gonna be bad...
Jeff: Look at him bleed!! Ahahaa!

------------------------------

Tonder: Huf huf...jeff...you...huf....bastard...
Jeff: Huf...just...don't....look....back...
Tonder: You...huf huf...just....had to...didn't you,...
Jeff: Well....huf....didn't....think...they'd do it....
Tonder: You killed...huf.. the gm...and ....then said...you'd..huf huf...beat legion...alone...huf...
Jeff: Just keep running!!

---------------------------

Ack...work...continue later on...

 

[Gotrag]

Now this one is brillaint matey keep em comming

 

[old.Tohtori]

Tonder: Well...that was weird...
Jeff: Nothing really.
Tonder: Oh come on, even you had to have doubts about that one.
Jeff: Not really.
Tonder: Legion..
Jeff: Weakion more like it.
Tonder: All three dragons.
Jeff: Just a bit bigger lizards.
Tonder: The whole gm army.
Jeff: Don't believe the hype.
Tonder: All dead.
Jeff: It was a good plan.
Tonder: I would hardly call "Let's drop a really really big stone on them" a good plan.
Jeff: Well it worked.
Tonder: ...yeah...i guess. Now what?
Jeff: Albion?
Tonder: Sure...why not...

---------------

Tonder: Ok, i'm not gonna say anything about using a ram to brake down the walls to get to albion.
Jeff: That was easy.
Tonder: Or about whacking away through all the realm guards.
Jeff: Not that big of a job.
Tonder: Or even comment on plowing through four full groups of tincans with a keepdoor...
Jeff: That was cool.
Tonder: But i have to say that decorating camelot with a bunch of low level players and pink enamel is way too much in this whole "lets brake all the rules ingame" scheme.
Jeff: But it's soooo cuuuute.
Tonder: Whatever...we're getting banned any moment now...i don't care...
Jeff: Hey! horses!!
Tonder: *sigh*

---------------------

*The servers are down for a full maintenence*

---------------------

Tonder: Finally!
Jeff: Sigh...
Tonder: Back in midgard and seems like the bug was fixed too.
Jeff: mm...
Tonder: Well you have to admit you didn't expect that bug, that allowed you to do virtually anything, last did you?
Jeff: Not that...
Tonder: Ok,ok! Fine! I'll admit you COULD have fitted a lurikeen inside a horse, the wrong way though...
Jeff: But i didn't get a chance to do it!
Tonder: Just start whacking ok....

---------------------

 

[Karmatika]

great stuff made me laugh even more then last one xD.
Excel sheets calling

 

[old.Tohtori]

Tonder: What the hell are you wearing?!
Jeff: A pointy wizard hat.
Tonder: Dare i ask...why?
Jeff: Im luring in stealthers.
Tonder: I don't think they will fall for that....
Jeff: Sure they will!
Tonder: You're still wielding two axes for odins sake...
*Sneakarus was just killed by Tonder*
Jeff: Hah!
Tonder:...unbelievable....
Jeff: I know i am.

---------------------------

Tonder: No!
Jeff: Oh come on!
Tonder: No way!
Jeff: But it's fun!
Tonder: I'm not doing that!
Jeff: Oh come on, don't be a party pooper.
Tonder: I'm not going to give you half my coins just so you can enamel a bunch of armor and call yourself the unbelievable Jeffman.
Jeff: Bah! Spoilsport....

-------------------------

*Arachnid was just killed by LowbieTank*
LowbieTank: Heal!
Tonder: You'll manage.
*Arachnid was just killed by LowbieTank*
LowbieTank: Help!
Tonder: You're fine.
*Arachnid priest was just killed by LowbieTank*
LowbieTank: I'm gonna die!!!
Tonder: Take it like a kobold.
Jeff: He's actually looking quite bad. Two more added.
Tonder: Well you could help.
Jeff: Yeah....i could.
*lowbietank was just killed by an arachnid*
Jeff: Then again.
Tonder: Hmm. Guess i could've healed.
Lowbietank: Rez please.
Tonder: Sorry, out of mana.
Jeff: *snickers*

----------------------

Ok, out for today. More of it when i get the chance.

 

[Tasslehoff]

Lol, great

 

[Gotrag]

Fucking gold

 

[Dukat]

lol nice

 

[old.Tohtori]

LowbieTank: It huuuurts!
Tonder: Oh for f*cks sake...
Jeff: Well actually i think that might sting a bit.
Tonder: He's still got half of his fingers left.
Jeff: And one eye.
Tonder: Exactly. And what's so hard with moving with one leg?
LowbieTank: Oh my god! I can see my spleen!!
Tonder: I think that's a lung...
Jeff: You're the healer.
Tonder: Yup. A lung.
LowbieTank: Ack...my...i...
Tonder: Did he just faint?
Jeff: Must be the new realm ability.
Tonder: Handy. For me that is.

--------------------

LowbieTank: Ok. I'm better now. Took a little rest.
Tonder: Swell.
Jeff: Inc!
LowbieTank: Aaaa! I'm not ready!
Tonder: Sure ya are. You'll be fine with your undies and fists. The undiefist style.
Jeff: Add!
LowbieTank: OMG!!! That's purple! And that one too!!!
Jeff: Phew. Almost out of endurance, only 80% left. Gotta send lowbie to pull next time.
Tonder: You better rest.
Jeff: Yup.
LowbieTank: WHAT?!?!AAAA! I can feel it's teeth in my skull!! HEEEAL!!
Tonder: Now now, ask nicely.
LowbieTank: HEAL PLEA-ARGH!!
*Lowbietank was just killed by a werewolf noble*
Tonder: I wonder why that noble isn't attacking you Jeff.
Jeff: Forgot to invite Lowbie there.
Tonder: Oh. Ok.

------------------

Tonder: I wonder why lowbie went to do some quests instead of whacking mobs with us.
Jeff: Might be 'cause you didn't rez him.
Tonder: Yeah...
Jeff: Or heal.
Tonder: Well yeah but...
Jeff: Or that i didn't fight.
Tonder: But...
Jeff: Or that i told him that he could surely defeat njessi when it's purple to him 'cause it's a bugged quest.
Tonder: ...let's go watch.
Jeff: Sure.

 

[Keres]

Excellent stuff seel xD

 

[Naffets]

Winner

 

[Oro]

Rocks

 

[Huntingtons]

dont be cruel to newbie tanks 8(

 

[old.Tohtori]

Jeff: Heal.
Tonder: No.
Jeff: Oh come on!
Tonder: I'm not healing you every time you jump of the galplen tower.
Jeff: I'll do it again and then yo'll have to rez me.
Tonder: ....
Jeff: I'm serious.
Tonder: ....
Jeff: Fine!
*Jeff was just killed*
Tonder: Like i said. "....."

-----------------

Jeff: I knew you'd rez me!
Tonder: I was being attacked.
Jeff: You could've handled it. You like me!
Tonder: I really don't.
Jeff: Come on, admit it. Just a little bit!
Tonder: Nope.
Jeff: Come on...
Tonder: Fine...you come in handy in a fight sometimes.
Jeff: I knew it! You like me!!
Tonder: *sigh* I need a drink...

-----------------

Jeff: I wonder if lowbie is back to kill njessi yet.
Tonder: He died near fort atla.
Jeff: Why didn't he take a horse?
Tonder: Didn't have the coins apparently.
Jeff: He could've asked us for it.
Tonder blinks: Us?
Jeff: Well. You. Since. I got none.
Tonder: And i would've given lowbie coins 'cause...?
Jeff: Good point.

-----------------

Jeff: Hey tonder! Lowbie's fighting njessi!
Tonder: Finally, some entertainment.
Jeff: He's actually doing quite good.
Tonder: Look at him block away. Allready got a few hits in too.
Jeff: Do you think that...
Tonder: No way.
Jeff: But he seems to block so...
Tonder: I said no way.
Jeff: Nice move! Oh...hey...whoa...niiiiice!
Tonder: If this happens i'll be nice to Jeff for a whole day.
Jeff: Allready down to 20%!
Tonder: Or half a day...umm...two hours...tops...
Jeff: I think he's going to...
*LowbieTankwas just killed by Njessi*
Jeff: Nevermind.
Tonder: Phew.

------------------

Tonder: What now?
Jeff: Well we could do what yo said before.
Tonder: Try to see how many ara's it takes to make dwarfsoup?
Jeff: Nooo. The drinking thing.
Tonder: For once, i have to agree with you.
Jeff: Miracles do happen.
Tonder: And yet, you're still here.

-----------------

Jeff: Ale wash jhust killed by Jeffron the Mighty!!
Tonder: I ushe my magnifhiscicant phowersh to reshurrecht!!
Bartender: So....another two?
Jeff&Tonder: Yesh!
Jeff: ROOOAOOOOAAARRRRR!!!!
Tonder blinks: Bersherker mode???
Jeff: Itsh purplhe!!
Tonder: I casth...umm...
Jeff: ROAROARRRRR!!!
Tonder: Umm...
Jeff: ROarhsRROROOO!!!
Tonder: Eleghance of mhovemhent!!!
Jeff drinks the ale.
Tonder drinks the ale.
Jeff drinks the ale.
Tonder drinks the ale.
*two hors later*
Jeff: I...shibd...d....
Jeff falls to the floor.
Tonder: I chas..t..*hiccup*
Tonder falls to the floor.

----------------------------
To be continued.

 

[old.Tohtori]

----Need a new hobbit...hobby.----

Tonder: Owww......
Jeff: Let'sgolet'sgolet'sgo!
Tonder: Ngh....shut...up! Oww...
Jeff:You can't have a hangover.
Tonder: Why not...it's my prerogative...
Jeff: Catchy.
Tonder: What is?
Jeff: No, there's Catchy the skald.
Catchy: Hey guys.
Tonder: Sup.
Jeff: Hey.
Catchy: Need a lift?
Tonder: Sure, why not, let's go kill some hibbies.

-----------------------------

Jeff: Thanks C.
Catchy: Anytime *zooooooom*
Tonder: Ok, let's roll.
Jeff: Hey look, hobbits.
Tonder: Hobbits?
Jeff: Yeah, over there.
Tonder: Those...are lurikeens.
Jeff: Oh. Thought they were a bit small for hobbits.
Tonder: What the hell are hobbits?!
Jeff: Small people. Like dwarves but less fat.
Tonder: That doesn't take much.
Jeff: Hey! That offends me...
Tonder: That's the point.
Jeff: Hobbits wouldn't offend others.
Tonder: Shut up about the ferkin hobbits!

--------------------------

*Lurigorn was just killed by Jeff*
Tonder: Lurigorn...?
*Lurilas was just killed by Jeff*
Tonder blinks.
*Hobbit was just killed by Jeff:
Jeff: H...
Tonder: Shut up!

--------------------------

Jeff: Lurikeens are a bit too easy.
Tonder: Yes. Especially when their sitting and staring into space. People do that alot recently...hmm...
Jeff: That reminds me something about the hobbits.
Tonder: Don't wanna know.
Jeff: It's quite interesting.
Tonder: Not. Interested.
Jeff: I'll tell you anyway.
Tonder: *sigh*...ofcourse...
Jeff: They got no shoes.
Tonder: I....*sigh*...i need a hobby....
Jeff: Hobbit?
Tonder: ARGH!

-----------------------------------

Elf 1: Hey....take a look at that.
Elf 2: What?
Elf 1: It seems like a dwarf and a norse...
Elf 2: The dwarf is evidently a berserker. See the axes?
Elf 1: Yes. But what is that norse?
Elf 2: Not quite sure. He seems to be wielding a...is that a lurikeen?
Elf 1: Looks like it, but why is he holding the dwarf down with his leg and holding the lurikeen like a lance...?
Elf 2: It looks likeeeeeeww....
Elf 1: Oh that's just wrong!
Elf 2: That gotta hurt...

-----------------------------------

Not too much sweets for people...more later.

 

[Wirey]

u truely make me laugh nice one, think i am off to make a dwarf zerker now on camlann

 

[old.Tohtori]

u truely make me laugh nice one, think i am off to make a dwarf zerker now on camlann

I always play a dwarf. Whichlimits my choices ofcourse...

I want a dwarf shadowblade.

Buuut anyway, i had quite a lot of fun with my minibear.

Tonder is actually based on my first character. Though i wasn't as reluctant to heal

 

[Gotrag]

I always play a dwarf. Whichlimits my choices ofcourse...

I want a dwarf shadowblade.

Buuut anyway, i had quite a lot of fun with my minibear.

Tonder is actually based on my first character. Though i wasn't as reluctant to heal

another great story by teh Seal..... wanna give us some more?

 

[old.Tohtori]

---Keeping the raid---

Jeff: Wooohoo! Keepraid!
Tonder: ...you gonna act like an ass again?
Jeff: You know me better then that.
Tonder: So...that's a yes then.
Raidleader: Gather up!
Shadowy: Bite me!
Raidleader: Who said that?!
Shadowy snickers.
Tonder: I like Shadowy for some reason.
Jeff: Scary.
Tonder: Oh shut up.
Raidleader: Where's our tank?
Lowbie: Right here sir!
Tonder: ....
Jeff: ....
Raidleader: Excellent!
Tonder: We're so dead...

------------

Raidleader: When we get to the hill...
Lowbie: What hill?
Raidleader: The one that has the keep.
Lowbie: Keep?
Raidleader: The place we're attacking.
Lowbie: Attacking?
Raidleader: Going in and killing the enemy.
Lowbie: Who's the enemy?
Raidleader: Depends on if the albion or hibernia has it.
Lowbie: Hibernia?
Tonder: Oh dear this might take a while...
Jeff: Wanna play dice?
Tonder: ...sigh...

-----------------------

Raidleader: Ok, we need a diversion.
Shadowy: How about we send in your mama?
Raidleader: Who was that?!
Tonder: Must be an albion trick.
Jeff: Get an axe.
Lowbie: I know how to use an axe!
Tonder: Nice one Shadowy.
Shadowy: You should see what i sticked on his cape.
Tonder snickers.

------------------------

Raidleader: Everyone ready??
Lowbie: Yes sir!!
Jeff: I think i gotta pee...
Tonder: No.
Raidleader: Why not?
Tonder: 'cause you'll get your ass kicked with this crew.
Raidleader: Why so?
Tonder: Let's review the facts. You got a tank who forgot his shield...
Lowbie: It's being polished!
Tonder: A stealther who isn't even here.
Raidleader: He's just cloaked for sure.
Tonder: Right....well...a zerker who's...nevermind that...
Jeff: Lalla laaa...yellow snow..err...grass! Wohooo!
Tonder: ...and the final point, quite important, you can't do squat without a healer.
Raidleader: You are a healer!
Tonder: Common misunderstanding.
Lowbie: CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGE!!
Raidleader: What the...
Tonder: Time to go.
Raidleader: Tank wait! Zerker?? Healer?!
*Lowbie was just killed by a highlander*
Raidleader: This wasn't what i planned!!!
*Raidleader was just killed by a highlander*

Jeff: Raid over allready?
Tonder: Yup.
Jeff: Dang. Missed it.
Tonder: Wasn't that exiting.

------------------------------

 

[Gotrag]

lol nice one dude keep going tbh

 

[old.Tohtori]

Jeff: It looks...terrible..
Tonder: I know. Dead bodies everywhere...
Jeff: Where's that skalds head?
Tonder: It's right there, next to the warriors hand.
Jeff: Oh...evil...
Tonder: It seems like...
Jeff: Yeah i know what you're thinking...
Tonder: Trainwreck.
Jeff: It's almost as bad as the lowbietrain that went through werewolf keep last october.
Tonder: I still have nightmares.

------------

Newbie1: Wohoo! Lvl 5!
Newbie2: Woot! Grats!
Newbie3: Grats!
Newbie1: Go train now!
Newbie2: k!
Newbie3: Kewl! k m8ht!
Tonder: ...
Newbie2: INC!!!11
Newbie3: Woot! Grats!
Jeff: Umm...tonder...
Tonder: ..yeah?
Newbie2: OOM!OMG!HEAL!!1
Jeff: Hold me...
Tonder: Shut up.
Newbie1: Where is ft atla?!1

--------------

Tonder: Never again.
Jeff: Sorry....
Tonder: I'll see nightmares of that for the rest of your life.
Jeff: Really sorry...i thought...
Tonder: Don't. It makes bad results.
Jeff: ...
Tonder: No.More. Newbies!
Jeff: Not even...
Tonder: No! Especially not that Lowbie!!!
Jeff: k
Tonder: Dont even kid like that.
Jeff: ...

---------------------

EleetSM: I'll pull. You noobs ready?!
Tonder: *cough* Sure.
Jeff: Mm-hm.
EleetSM: Allright! INC!
Tonder: afk
Jeff: brb
EleetSM: WHAT?!
*EleetSM was just killed by a glacier giant*
Tonder: back
Jeff: back
EleetSM: FFS! WTF are you guys thinking?!!
Tonder: Sorry, emergency.
Jeff: Yeah, same here.
EleetSM: Rez ffs...
Tonder: Sure.

EleetSM: Ok. This time try to get it right noobs!!
Tonder: Yes'sir!
Jeff: Aye aye mon capitan!
EleetSM: INC!
EleetSM: Add!
Tonder: Phone, afk.
Jeff: Doorbell, brb.
EleetSM: WHaaaaaaarg!!
*EleetSM was just killed by a glacier giant*
Jeff sends: Hey Tonder, think he'll stop calling us noobs?
Tonder sends: He has to learn.

--------------------------

More to come fo' sure.

 

[Gotrag]

hehehe this are gold

 

[Congax]

Haha, another nice one

 

[Legohelten]

Great stuff

 

[old.Tohtori]

Tonder: Allright. Here's the plan.
Jeff: I'm hungry.
Tonder: You're always hungry!
Jeff: I'm a dwarf. It's comes naturally.
Tonder: Like stupidity?
Jeff: What do you mean?
Tonder: *sigh* Now, Catchy..
Catchy: Yup yup.
Tonder: You run past the keep and distract the guards. Can you handle it?
Catchy: Yup.
Jeff: I'm not stupid...
Tonder: Then when the guards are gone, Goomba, you take out the door.
Goomba: Crush?
Tonder: Umm...Jeff...you speak dum..err..troll right?
Jeff: Yeah.
Tonder: Then explain it to Goomba.
Jeff: Sure. Goomba. Crush door with treeswingthing!
Goomba: Rar!
Tonder: Not yet!!
Goomba: Err?
Jeff: Hmm?
Tonder: Wait for Catchy to distract the guards first.
Shadowy: Sup guys.
Goomba: AAA! Ghost! CRUSH!!!
*Shadowy was just killed by Goomba*
Tonder: ....long...long...night this will be...

--------------------------------

Shadowy: Ow....
Tonder: You allright?
Shadowy: Yeah. Though that troll should be gangrap..
Tonder: Back to the plan.
Goomba: Pan? Dinner?
Jeff: Who said dinner?
Tonder: SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!
Jeff: ...
Shadowy: ...
Catchy: ...
Goomba: No dinner?
Tonder: Aguuubuubububu....
Shadowy: I think there's something wrong with Tonder.
Catchy: Why is he trying to dig his nose with his hammer?
Jeff: Umm. Maybe he needs to rest a bit.

-----------------------

Tonder: huf...huf...ok...back to the plan.
Shadowy: Did you really need to gag Goomba?
Tonder: Yes.
Catchy: With Jeff?
Tonder: Oh most definetly YES. Now here's the plan. Catchy distracts the guards, Shadowy climbs the wall and takes care of the archers on the wall, Goomba crushes the door with the ram and me and Jeff go in and take out the rest. Everyone clear?
Catchy: Yup.
Shadowy: Crystal.
Goomba nods.
Jeff wiggles.
Tonder: Ok, i'll let Jeff out of Goombas mouth and we'll head out.

-----------------------

Jeff: Hey, don't take it so hard.
Tonder: Ehm....
Catchy: It was a good plan.
Tonder: Bu...
Shadowy: Yeah, it's not like you knew that the Swords of Justice took the keep allready...
Tonder: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!

------------------------

More to come. Later. Umm...on the week? Yeah.

 

[Tasslehoff]

I want more =p

 

[Durrell]

Teh Seal you could give pratchett a run for his money mate

More more more

 

[old.Tohtori]

---Le Internationel!---

Jeff: Hey look, a hunter and a couple of spirits.
Tonder: Just like a hunter, getting drunk.
Jeff: Bad joke...
Tonder: That's why i don't usually.
Jeff: You know...
Tonder: You're gonna call him over...
Jeff: How'd you know??
Tonder: 'cause it annoys me so you will do it.
Jeff: HEEEEEEEY HUNTER!! OVER HERE!!
Tonder: As always, this will probably lead to something most annoying, yet in some masochistic way... i was waiting for it.

-----------------------

Jeff: Hey there fellow midgardian!
????: Me?
Jeff: Yes! You're a hunter right?
????: Oui.
Jeff: Oui?
????: Oui.
Tonder: Jesus...you're french?!
????: Oui! I am....
*kobolds play a drumroll*
LeBeou: Jacque LeBeou!
Kobolds: Ba tsh!
Tonder: ....
Jeff: LeBow?
LeBeou: Le BEOU!
Jeff: That's what i said.
Tonder: And your friends?
LeBeou: French? Magnificent! Ce la tabla le bonbon tre bien!
Tonder: ...no...i mean FRIENDS.
LeBeou: Mean french? OUI!! Damnez tous les hibernians et leurs surgeons de mère à l'enfer!!!
Tonder: merde...
LeBeou: vous parlez français ?
Tonder: ...no...i parlee a**whooping.
LeBeou: excusez-moi?
Tonder: My foot. Your a**. Now.
Jeff: I suggest running Sir French.

-----------------------

LeBeou: Mon dieu c'est le diable!!
Jeff: That wasn't nice.
Tonder: I know *snickers*
Jeff: Never seen anyone run that fast.
Tonder: Talk about flying stockings.
Jeff: You should really work on your international diplomacy skills.
Tonder: It was the international "beat french on the head with drumming kobold" sign.
Jeff: Never managed to even ask what he was doing here.
Tonder: He wold've probably said: "None of jyr bisinessss!!"
Jeff: Nice accent.
Tonder: Thanks. Can we go now...
Jeff: Where?
Tonder: For some reason i want to hunt albs...

---------------------------------

 

[Lakashnik]

he he he silly french man

 

[Cavex ElSaviour]

This one made me laugh out loud and a few fellow students looked disturbed in the pc room