Help In a dilemna

[Deebs]

My baby girl is turning 18 this month, (17th) and she has kept on at me to take her to Fabric which I have refused to do. Any guy that comes near her is cannon fodder, don't worry I explained this to her.

The problem is that she has just sent me a text saying "Yeah mine and your day Daddy and his little princess xx".

HELP!!!! Money is not an issue, she will only tiurn 18 once.

 

[Nate]

Should you let her make her own decisions now that she's becoming a grown woman?

What is Fabric anyway?

 

[Ch3tan]

dnb / dubstep / house club in Farringdon. It's very very good.

 

[Shagrat]

Get your ass to fabric. Stop being old although my daughter is13 and none of these rules apply when she gets to 18 that's completely different..........

 

[Nate]

Yeah I'd say let her do what she wants to, you should start to let go Deebs. Your role should be to guide, not make decisions.

 

[mycenae]

Offer to take her to Tiffanys and let her pick something out...all their stuff is classic and timeless. Then maybe get her an experience for something you can do together....I don't know what kind of girl she is...whether powerboating and fast cars are her thing, or maybe a chocolate making course if you want to go the other end of the spectrum!
A nice dinner somewhere - or maybe afternoon tea at the Ritz?
You could do a mini break to a nice spa hotel and really pamper her!
Like I said, I have no idea what her interests are!

 

[Deebs]

Guys,

I have no issue taking her where she wants to go. She had the choice of me paying for her and loads of her friends or just me and her in London for a night out. She chose the latter. I want to spoil her rotten, when her Brother turned 18 I took him to New York for a spell. She loves House music (growing up with me ). I just want to ensure she has the best time ever for her 18th as I will not celebrate her 21st.

 

[mycenae]

sorry...I have to disagree....DO NOT TAKE HER TO FABRIC. Its not what Dad's do for their daughters 18th, its what friends are for. My dad painted me a watercolour for my 18th....and my 21st....they are 2 of the most special things I own.

 

[mycenae]

Why won't you celebrate her 21st?

 

[Punishment]

No offense deebs but hanging out with your dad on your 18th is probably the most lame thing i ever heard of, one of my ex's spent her 18th with me (i was 19 at the time) we had a great time with her and my friends drinks a meal the kind of stuff you will always remember and we stayed in a Hotel and shock horror had sex, we are still friends and she is a very well adjusted and successful woman with kids and a nice husband and fair play to her.

Im not saying she has anything like that in mind but being overprotective can only lead to her rebelling and doing something out of spite instead of spending time with those she loves and cares about

 

[mycenae]

she was offered the choice and chose to spend it with deebs.....and its not lame at all. I did it, and then spent time with friends and boyfriend another day.

 

[Punishment]

Ofc it goes without saying have some family time that afternoon evening with cake and the like, but their is a point after which it gets abit weird

 

[Krazeh]

If it's her choice to spend the day/evening with him then I fail to see how it's either lame or getting a bit weird.

 

[Deebs]

My daughter wants to spend her 18th with me, not her friends, not anyone else. She has expressed an interest in going to a nightclub, which I have objected to, but I have to bow to her wishes. Seriously, get a fucking life, she had the choice of her friends and a meal (paid for by me) or me and her (in London, paid for by me). She chose the latter, does that show you how she was brought up?

 

[DaGaffer]

You can't take her clubbing mate, just...no. Shopping, dinner, even a gig, all acceptable, but at 18 clubbing should be something she's doing with her mates, not her Dad.

 

[Punishment]

Sounded like she was given an ultimatum is all, most people would have a party at home with cake with family then head out to celebrate with their parents having confidence in them making real life decisions without someone following their every step

 

[Lamp]

She will always be your baby girl, even when she's 45. You'll never stop feeling protective. A club environment is going to be a challenge for a devoted dad keeping an eye on his daughter. I'm not going to tell you what you should do. If it was me, I'd take her out somewhere nice & spoil her rotten. If she really wants to do the club thing, let her go with her mates & perhaps someone you really trust to keep an eye on her with the right balance of letting her have fun & making sure some slimebag doesn't take advantage.

 

[DaGaffer]

You have explained to her that if you go clubbing with her you'll be duty-bound to punch the head off any bloke who looks at her? She does understand this is in the Dad's secret handbook right?

 

[Punishment]

My daughter wants to spend her 18th with me, not her friends, not anyone else. She has expressed an interest in going to a nightclub, which I have objected to, but I have to bow to her wishes. Seriously, get a fucking life, she had the choice of her friends and a meal (paid for by me) or me and her (in London, paid for by me). She chose the latter, does that show you how she was brought up?

Nice to see you can take a perfectly reasonable other side of the coin view without getting offended

 

[Deebs]

Sounded like she was given an ultimatum is all, most people would have a party at home with cake with family then head out to celebrate with their parents having confidence in them making real life decisions without someone following their every step

So far from the reality I cannot believe this. I divorced their Mum 12 years ago and I have never given them an ultimatum. So fucking wrong.

 

[Deebs]

You have explained to her that if you go clubbing with her you'll be duty-bound to punch the head off any bloke who looks at her? She does understand this is in the Dad's secret handbook right?

Yes but she is still pestering me. She has decided to go to London with just me and her. So I just want to got to some show or something to make it HER day.

 

[mycenae]

Ignore Punishment Deebs.....I have ALWAYS combined family and friiends at my birthdays, signifcant ones and otherwise, I'm now over 30 and still do, and have never found it to be lame, or anything other than lovely. Having said that, still not sure I would go clubbing with my dad....he'd embarrass me !

 

[Punishment]

I don't know your whole family history Deebs all im saying is that if she chose to go clubbing withf riends it's a normal and healthy thing, wouldn't she be better off if she chose to spend it with her dad to spend it shopping/having dinner i can't see the whole club thing being that great an idea for a dad and daughter unless you have like a place with a party atmosphere booked.

Maybe i just have a narrow view on things or it's a different club to what im used to, personally i hate clubbing maybe im turning into an old fart before my time

 

[Lamp]

(OT: I recently celebrated a big birthday with my parents. It was lovely. Mates you can see anytime. Your folks won't always be there. But then again, I'm not 18 or early 20s, so I don't have the embarassment factor of being seen out with the old folks.)

 

[Deebs]

Ignore Punishment Deebs.....I have ALWAYS combined family and friiends at my birthdays, signifcant ones and otherwise, I'm now over 30 and still do, and have never found it to be lame, or anything other than lovely. Having said that, still not sure I would go clubbing with my dad....he'd embarrass me !

I did say that to her, I cannot, ever ever, go clubbing with her even though she loves my music. She cannot understand why, that is beside the point. She wants a great day/night on her turning 18. Her brother was in NYC, she will be in London. Her choice. I really just want to make her experience exciting and unforgetable esp as she wants to spend the day with her "Daddy" (which I fucking love)

 

[Deebs]

I don't know your whole family history Deebs all im saying is that if she chose to go clubbing withf riends it's a normal and healthy thing, wouldn't she be better off if she chose to spend it with her dad to spend it shopping/having dinner i can't see the whole club thing being that great an idea for a dad and daughter unless you have like a place with a party atmosphere booked.

Maybe i just have a narrow view on things or it's a different club to what im used to, personally i hate clubbing maybe im turning into an old fart before my time

She wants to go clubbing with me, that is the point.

 

[Punishment]

Friends family balloons banners nice safe enviorment great idea for an 18th but dad and daughter in a club full of jackasses = bad idea

I don't envy your dilemma Deebs, what i said above was just giving a slice of my personal experience, not all young men are shitheads however

 

[Roo Stercogburn]

Go to the nightclub. Ask her if she'd like to bring some of her friends. Observe how the evening progresses. If you feel comfortable and she's having a good time, take a back seat and have a nice chilled out time. If she doesn't want to bring any friends to the nightclub, still can have a chilled out time. I'd suggest if the friends show up you offer the lift home, that way everything stays above board and there are boundaries.

Or something. Lots of ways to handle it and if its what she wants to do, it should be a fun night

P.S. Ignore the twats that can't get over themselves.

 

[Deebs]

She just sent me a text:

Ok
and you do show it! Your my daddy! And I will always love you no matter what xx"

 

[Deebs]

Go to the nightclub. Ask her if she'd like to bring some of her friends. Observe how the evening progresses. If you feel comfortable and she's having a good time, take a back seat and have a nice chilled out time. If she doesn't want to bring any friends to the nightclub, still can have a chilled out time. I'd suggest if the friends show up you offer the lift home, that way everything stays above board and there are boundaries.

Or something. Lots of ways to handle it and if its what she wants to do, it should be a fun night

P.S. Ignore that twats that can't get over themselves.

This is the issue, I could not. I can drop her off and pick her up. That's it. Anyway, a great night out in London for an 18th. Ideas?