I always feel like a man when..

[Chilly]

Wrong hole.

Says who?!

 

[old.Tohtori]

Her if she was conscious

 

[Lamp]

making a bonfire

there's something very satisfying about them

"no don't come out, you better stay indoors, love, unless you want to stink all day of smoke"
"grab us a cold one from the fridge will you? I stink of smoke"

"throws another old bit of fence on*

 

[TdC]

on that note, properly building and successfully lighting a BBQ fire.

I once stood idly by watching three friends of mine, loosely classed as men due to possessing the correct genitalia, try for over 45 minutes to light the BBQ that would be providing our meal. I did so because A) I wanted to see if they could do it properly, B) I had just arrived and was slightly disappointed that I had not immediately been given a nicely proportioned steak, and C) I was talking to the only (hot) lady present. After watching them fail miserably, exclaim about dust and splinters on their delicate hands, and to a lesser extent have to put up with the girl whining she was hungry I couldn't take it any more and took over. 5 minutes later all was in order, and I had been given a fresh beer for my efforts. Sadly, although I had now secured my dinner and that of all those around me, the alternate goal of going home with the girl failed even though I had demonstrated a key man-skill: making fire. Apparently taller, delicate men in pastel Ralph Lauren sweaters were more her style. No hot steaks for her in the future then, so much is clear.

 

[Raven]

pfft. BBQs are for women.

Cook on a proper fire lit with a firesteel!

Only done it a few times but lighting a fire with sparks and then getting well cooked meat from it is proper chest beating manly!

I did try it with using two bits of wood but that got boring really fast.

 

[cHodAX]

That is a life lesson I shall have to remember.

 

[TdC]

pfft. BBQs are for women.

Cook on a proper fire lit with a firesteel!

Only done it a few times but lighting a fire with sparks and then getting well cooked meat from it is proper chest beating manly!

I did try it with using two bits of wood but that got boring really fast.

I actually have a permamatch, though a proper fire is a thing we really don't tend to do here in the NL. Even worse: there's a pansy assed trend to switch to gas-fueled BBQ's like the aussie poofs have adopted. Bahs!

 

[old.Tohtori]

Cook meat? Pfft, women.

 

[cHodAX]

Cook meat? Pfft, women.

Fucking Artic caveman!

 

[TdC]

Toh's the one eating wind-dried salmon strips and mosquitos though. must have jaw muscles like a hyena

 

[Lamp]

Its not from eating meat

 

[cHodAX]

Yup yup, it's too much deep throat action to clear his rent arrears!

 

[Scouse]

there's a pansy assed trend to switch to gas-fueled BBQ's like the aussie poofs have adopted. Bahs!

That is gay as fuck.

I've noticed it here a fair bit - however, to a man I've been able to predict who of the people I know would think getting a gas barbie is OK - and they're all the sort of blokes who's women rule the roost.

I.E. They're not men.

 

[old.Tohtori]

Yup yup, it's too much deep throat action to clear his rent arrears!

It's not about -what- you do, it's if you're good at it

 

[cHodAX]

That is gay as fuck.

I've noticed it here a fair bit - however, to a man I've been able to predict who of the people I know would think getting a gas barbie is OK - and they're all the sort of blokes who's women rule the roost.

I.E. They're not men.

Agreed, the only time I would even consider one is for a big fucking BBQ party where you need a consistent heat over time because the volume of food is ridiculous.

 

[Scouse]

Agreed, the only time I would even consider one is for a big fucking BBQ party where you need a consistent heat over time because the volume of food is ridiculous.

Then you need one of these:

Spoiler

Yes - I know - I've got wood to replace the handle and the surface - it's 12 years old now tho

The knife is for chopping the heads off random passing animals so they can be put straight on - any fur will burn off - and also for killing anyone who says a phrase that resembles "I bought a gas barbecue the other day - no! it's good! I bought some "special coals" that make the food taste like it was done on a proper barbecue"...

...diediediediediediedie...

 

[TdC]

I've gone from picturing Scouse in a lenin-red slingshot to a full on lumberjack outfit. Just like I'm wearing right now. Also, those smoker things are the best

 

[Raven]

I actually have a permamatch, though a proper fire is a thing we really don't tend to do here in the NL. Even worse: there's a pansy assed trend to switch to gas-fueled BBQ's like the aussie poofs have adopted. Bahs!

There are a lot of places you aren't allowed to have them here. Peat land, obviously because the fire can burn underground for years. Or where it is especially dry. Some land owners are happy for you to have a fire if you do it properly. Dig a place for the fire and then once you have finished, pour water on it and bury it again.

 

[Scouse]

I'd like to say I'd had the knife for ages - but my mum's moving house and she found it in a box full of random stuff so she only gave it me on Monday.

I honestly don't know what sort of jungle I'll have to be in to use it but if I go on a holiday to Macchu Pichu then I'll definitely take it with me

those smoker things are the best

This is indeed true. They were £300 new back in 2000 when I bought it, but I grabbed the last one which was on display and the madly sold it me for 90 quid.

Best 90 quid I've ever spent

 

[TdC]

ha, I'm jealous! I had a weber once apon a time, but was forced to not use it as the council was scared of fire in the inner city (I live there, the buildings are all 16th century, etc) so I sold it. Now I am bereft and that irks me :-/

 

[Scouse]

What's great is that when fully loaded it kicks out enough heat for you to pitch a table and a couple of chairs close by and have a barbeque on a frosty or snowy winters day - and still be pleasantly warm

 

[Raven]

I was toying with the idea of making one from an oil drum but never got around to it.

 

[Zarjazz]

I was toying with the idea of making one from an oil drum but never got around to it.

Make sure you empty it first unlike this guy - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-oxfordshire-19035426

 

[rynnor]

On the original topic >I always feel like a man when..

I use a sledgehammer - what's more manly than smashing stuff up with a massive hammer - its good exercise and a wonderfull stress buster...

 

[Scouse]

what's more manly than smashing stuff up with a massive hammer

This.

Especially when it's a birds arse and you're using your man-hammer

 

[old.Tohtori]

I use a sledgehammer

I always feel like a man when someone speaks of sledgehammers and i point at my crotch with a question look on my face.

 

[rynnor]

Smashing up rocks is great - one of my mates got a sliver of rock in his hand and no longer has feeling in his thumb - epic!

Another guy got hit by a piece of rock that fell off a cliff while he was hammering that tore a big chunk out of his arm and he had to stagger 2 miles along a beach with fingers clamped over the wound before he could get help - few transfusions later he's healing well.

Finally another colleague was knocked out by a rockfall as the tide was coming in and escaped drowning only with the help of a passerby...

Personally I have only been hit by a small rockfall and nearly got stuck in quicksand a couple of times.