hmm I *think* I've just broken up with my girlfriend

[amobea]

Actually if you talked as much with your girlie girl, as you talk here, you wouldn't have a problem anymore

can't argue with that

 

[Xtro]

Hello again mate.

Well I have to say after reading your latest post and everything that (strictly IMHO) she seems to have already made her mind up that its time to move on. By moving on I mean that she wants to be single again rather than jump into a relationship with another blokey (or lady I dont know ).

Have a few days off like you say, talk to your Dutch mates, go out - do things that you want to do and DO NOT CONSTANTLY TEXT OR CALL HER. I know its tempting when out on the piss to think "aaah, I'll just call the girly and say hello." No no no.

I'll tell you something what I did. When I split with my gf of 7 years (on and off) she REALLY REALLY fucked me off big time. I was trying to be mates with her still and she was all "Please...every time you call or text me it hurts me, I need to avoid contact with you for a bit. I'm sorry, if you love me you will do this" etc etc. So...selfish fucking mare I think. I text her - booked a career break (loads of time off work) and I flew off to New Zealand on the Saturday. Ta ra! I said.

By god it fucking worked. When I got back she had texted me zillions of times and thought I was never coming back. Did me the power of good because I just COULD NOT contact her and I had a bloody whale of a time. What better way to take your mind off things?

Take a break from work, go piss off round Europe or something. You're a nice bloke you deserve it.

All the best.

 

[Will]

Take a break from work, go piss off round Europe or something. You're a nice bloke you deserve it.

The biking is very good near me, and EasyJet carry bikes for free.

 

[~Yuckfou~]

Teeds..
Only read your original post.
Try for one last fuck, whatever happens move on, she's trouble.
gl.

 

[Yoni]

We are heading into our 5th year and tbh I would say that both JBP and I have situations like this.

Usually we mentally break from each other.

JBP gets very quiet and mentally detaches whilst he is trying to sort himself out and Ill just get absorbed in either work or a particular game I happen to enjoy to do the same thing. At the end of the day it always ends in an open, frank and usually emotional discussion about how we see our future.

The lads are right take a break, decide what you want and then if you really feel that this relationship is right, fight for it, however she has got to meet you half way. If it is evident that she isn't going to then cut your losses and get over her, I'm sure there are plenty of other gurlehs out there who would benefit from some TDC lurvin.

As for the girls want a bastard argument, this is both true and not true from my point of view. Its a real turn off for me if my partner lets me have everything and everything easily, I like to fight for stuff. JBP usually gives me my own way but a lot of the time there is an emotional wrestle before hand. His unpredictability and foul temper does keep the relationship alive and constantly makes me keep a check on my contributions towards our partnership.

JBP says this makes him sound like a bastard.... he isn't, but he won't be walked all over either.

 

[old.user4556]

As for the girls want a bastard argument, this is both true and not true from my point of view. Its a real turn off for me if my partner lets me have everything and everything easily, I like to fight for stuff. JBP usually gives me my own way but a lot of the time there is an emotional wrestle before hand. His unpredictability and foul temper does keep the relationship alive and constantly makes me keep a check on my contributions towards our partnership.

JBP says this makes him sound like a bastard.... he isn't, but he won't be walked all over either.

First off, sorry to hear all this TDc .

I agree with Yoni here from a male perspective. I noticed with my long term girlfriend that she was definitely more attractive to me when she wasn't around and when we argued about the fact she'd go out with her friends looking like a porn star and I'd be sitting in the pub with my mates shit scared about what was going on. I really missed her when she was away and my desire for her to come home was burning, althought I never showed it.

More recently, (and this sounds SO bad), she's left high school and all her friends have gone seperate ways to many different unis so she's in the house a lot so we naturally spend a lot of time together (im 3 minutes drive from her). That above burning desire is no longer there, although I still love/fancy her just as much, there isn't that totally mysterious electric spark that used to be there. I'm sure this is true in any and every relationship.

Similarly to Yoni, if i'm the nicest and "most amazing" bloke to her (dinner date etc), I can tell that she sometimes doesn't appreciate it and sometimes get the impression that it even bored her. Instead, i'll deliberately piss her off by *not* taking her for dinner, or *not* paying for things to make her get angry and in a tizz. It seems to work, then I will surprise her with a lovely dinner and it goes down a treat.

My point though, is that perhaps this woman is feeling that the lack of spark means she's not interested in you anymore? Perhaps you do need a good argument, or to be away from one another for a good while to induce that "I wonder what my other half is doing..." feeling - very similar to Xtro's New Zealand trip.

It's a bit like sex, it's not a big deal to men unless they're not getting any. If you're getting it everyday, it tends to get a bit routine and daresay "regular". Don't have sex/wank for a week - small animals aren't safe when men like that are around.

Hope some of that made sense.

G

 

[Summo]

Yikes! Suckiness for Andy and I feel for you, fella.

I've nothing to add that hasn't already been said but I just wanted to offer a manly, hetro hug.











And now, a slightly more homo hug, avec delicate grope designed to excite while still suggesting a tender but sexual intent.

 

[amobea]

Summo, i keep praying for you to not be gay...



but God just doesn't seem to listen...


TdC - sif your name is andy? why was i not told of this?
blood countriests!

 

[Sar]

Shit Andy,

Sorry to hear m8. But to be brutally honest, to my mind, it sounds as though she may be playing away, is guilt ridden and can't cope with the guilt.

I did say brutally honest.

That's the problem being a nice guy - we never get the girls. Although in my case Maxine had been with quite a few bastards before me, including her ex (my step-daughter's dad), and I was apparantly just what she wanted in life.





Or so she tells me...




Cheer up m8, it'll happen again someday, and hopefully it'll be The One. I was single for years, and had actually accepted that I would be alone for my entire life.

Then along she came and I've never been happier.

Although she moans when I play on the PC too much.

 

[Whipped]

I think I have a split personality and the other half is Sar

You just described my current relationship Except mine would be a step-son, if/when I get hitched

 

[Jupitus]

>>>> small side-note for those considering taking on ready-made kids. They don't HAVE to remain as step this or that, although the circumstances need to fit. If they don't have nor want any contact with natural parent then it's quite possible to do what is called a 'step-parent adoption', whereby the child is adopted by you and your partner, all records changed, and in the eyes of the law they then hold the exact status of any other children you may 'create'

You hear me talking about #1 and #2, but not many of you realise that #1 is adopted this way

Edit: Sorry TdC, meant also to say I hope it sorts itself out for you matey

 

[TdC]

heh no worries Jup

thanks everyone for contributing fluffles and advice, sorry if I missed you out in my replies but I've been rather busy at work and was only half way through my quotes replies thingy when the boss suddenly turned up while I was typing / simultaniously solving a filesystem problem on a server and thus I had to get rid of a few windows quickly.

anyway, we are now being apart for a two week period. I had to push her into it a little because she just couldn't make up her mind. I had to leave quickly once we decided or I wouldn't have left. oh well, I hope she finds whatever she is searching for and it helps her to commit to a course of action.

that's about it, please forgive my not replying further, I really cba right now.

 

[amobea]

g'luck budy

 

[MYstIC G]

Suck Andy, hope it works out

 

[Wazzerphuk]

I started off reading this thread with the best of intentions to give you advice Andy, but to be honest: it's too much of an effort!

Too much text!

*offer bum*?

 

[Uncle Sick]

*tries to appear as a nice bloke, has sold his kids to gypsies irl*

Bah, you are way too nice... *denies Jup sex0r for a week*

And, gee, I didn't realize just how many of us nice blokes are out there.
The missus has conditioned my behaviour to an extent where I find myself standing beside the fridge whenever she voices a slight appetite... hehe.

Still, I have a temper (shut it, Jup...) - but instead of being loud and aggressive, I am grumpy as shit for hours on end and refuse to talk about whatever pisses me off. That makes 'em think about it.

Not that I fight alot with the missus... it just happens once in a blue moon.
And nothing is sweeter than kiss-and-make-up-sex. Heh

Btw, Ivan, how long did it take you to type "R"-"E"-"S"-"P"-"E"-"C"-"T"? Crazy Russki.

 

[Whipped]

Btw, Ivan, how long did it take you to type "R"-"E"-"S"-"P"-"E"-"C"-"T"? Crazy Russki.

Ah, irony
Edit : Posted that and felt very silly as I forgot about cut & paste.

 

[TdC]

well....things have happened. it seems she wants to get back together with me. she's told me so several times, so I guess she means it. she called me just now to arrange a date for tomorrow. I was a bit shocked to have her on the phone after not talking to her for over a week (her wish, not mine), and she instantly picked up on my mood. then she tells me she finds me less than enthused regarding our date tomorrow and tells me this makes her very sad.
I'm a bit shocked to find that I am indeed not really wanting to see her after been left hanging on for over a week. if possible I'm even more confused now than I was before. I don't even rightly know why I'm typing this.

 

[old.user4556]

Go for the date TdC, allow things to happen/unfold naturally and don't try to find reasoning/motive behind her surprising contact after a week.

Go with the flow, let us know how it goes. Just have a damn good time together.

Women are weird (soz Dam/Ath/Bym ) and if you sit and confused and wonder about their behaivour you'll be wondering a long time.

G

 

[Ch3tan]

Maybe you need a week like she just had, this time the tables are turned. See how you feel about seeing her then.

 

[Wij]

Go out and get pissed, have a laugh, but tell her honestly how you feel. You aren't that enthused after the way she's treated you. Hopefully she'll either decide to treat you better or tell you you're too nasty in which case she's a very mixed-up lass.

Don't forget to bone her though

 

[old.user4556]

please excuse my spleling/grammar in my last post.

 

[MYstIC G]

well....things have happened. it seems she wants to get back together with me. she's told me so several times, so I guess she means it. she called me just now to arrange a date for tomorrow. I was a bit shocked to have her on the phone after not talking to her for over a week (her wish, not mine), and she instantly picked up on my mood. then she tells me she finds me less than enthused regarding our date tomorrow and tells me this makes her very sad.
I'm a bit shocked to find that I am indeed not really wanting to see her after been left hanging on for over a week. if possible I'm even more confused now than I was before. I don't even rightly know why I'm typing this.

Just tell her that she's the one who fucked with your head, so she shouldn't be trying to lay blame on you for something she started...

 

[old.user4556]

Although G, i'm inclined to think that women tend to do that also? It's amazing how things suddenly become your fault out of thin air, particularly when women are pre-menstrual .

You only have to be in the vicinity for it to be "your fault" .

 

[old.Osy]

You should have shagged her best friend. I mean the relationship is already compromised, and you cant really expect to put it back on track. You'll only wonder how long the stitches will last.

Fuck and forget, I say.

 

[tRoG]

Bah, you are way too nice... *denies Jup sex0r for a week*

And, gee, I didn't realize just how many of us nice blokes are out there.
The missus has conditioned my behaviour to an extent where I find myself standing beside the fridge whenever she voices a slight appetite... hehe.

Still, I have a temper (shut it, Jup...) - but instead of being loud and aggressive, I am grumpy as shit for hours on end and refuse to talk about whatever pisses me off. That makes 'em think about it.

Not that I fight alot with the missus... it just happens once in a blue moon.
And nothing is sweeter than kiss-and-make-up-sex. Heh

Btw, Ivan, how long did it take you to type "R"-"E"-"S"-"P"-"E"-"C"-"T"? Crazy Russki.

I'm the same, tbh. She has me under her little finger

Although, when angry, I tend to shout a lot and hit things. Think Basil Fawlty.

 

[TdC]

I have no idea what to do. I think I'll just go on the date and see what happens.

 

[Wij]

:/

GL m8. Remember to bone

(women are weird)

 

[TdC]

yes they are. I'll try to remember the bonage, but right now I don't really want anything to do with her. that will change tomorrow I'm sure

 

[Wij]

When you've had a few and stared at their cleavage while they talk about 'feelings' for hours you'll want bonage for sure

That's why women always win arguments. They want to have the upper hand. We just want to empty our pods

(Actually, having a quiet life is even more important than an empty but once you've gone to all the trouble of a night out you deserve a reward )