Gutted

[Munkey]

Haven't been around lately due to university, still trying to get into the swing of things but not doing as well as I was expecting to be doing, with the end result that I had to end up staying in on my birthday to work

And now too add further woe to my misery, I just got back from the G.U.M. ([SIZE=-1]Genito-Urinary Medicine) clinic where I'd gone for an STD test, in order to reassure my girlfriend that I was clean and to satisfy my general curiosity about what they do.

Most disturbing experience ever, having to drop my pants in front of a doctor and a nurse, and then listening to her say what she's doing as she fondled my package before ramming 2 cotton swabs down my japs eye, before drawing blood (from my arm thank god)

Then, they expect you to piss in a tube after this, burnt like fuck.

Anyway, after a short wait, which was longer than the peoples around me I noticed, i was brought back into the room where they told me I have a 'Non-Specific Urethritis' infection and that further tests could prove it to be chlamydia or something else, im hoping for the latter.

Going to have to go back and tell the people i've slept with before now about this.




Moral of the story: Cover your tool. At all times.
[/SIZE]

 

[Damini]

Sorry to hear that Munkey, but chlymdia is very common (I think some STD clinics find it in up to 70% of all people who attend) and afaik it is easily curable, with no long term problems for men. For women, it can cause problems with fertility if left though, so it is very important to let past lady lovers know if this is the case. Kudos to you for going to have the tests done though - most blokes avoid it. I'd wait til you get the results though - I think non-specific means that it could be anything from something caught and spread to just something that occurs, so before you prepare your "about that time we shagged" speech, you should wait to hear what the doctors say.

A friend of mine gave her bloke chlamydia without realising, only found out when he got some weird reaction to it where his eyes swelled up, and his arms went all wonky with arthritus, and his willy swelled like a septic aubergine. So if Monkey's story isn't enough to get you wearing protection, maybe that is

 

[Trem]

A friend of mine gave her bloke chlamydia without realising, only found out when he got some weird reaction to it where his eyes swelled up, and his arms went all wonky with arthritus, and his willy swelled like a sceptic aubergine. So if Monkey's story isn't enough to get you wearing protection, maybe that is

Well, all thats done is made me want to have a willy like a large fruit as well.


*shags around*

 

[Gumbo]

But... isn't Munkey like 12 or something..?

I'm beginning to feel really old..

..and a bit itchy,.. do you need an appointment at these places?

 

[xane]

Reminds me of the NTNOCN sketch.

Doctor: We've done the tests, and it's just Chicken Pox.
Patient: Oh, thank god for that.
Doctor (handing a piece of paper): Please write down the names of all the chickens you've slept with.

 

[Wazzerphuk]

A lesson on sleeping with slags learnt? </insensitive>

 

[Munkey]

A lesson on sleeping with slags learnt? </insensitive>

Actually fairly close to the mark actually

 

[Trem]

But... isn't Munkey like 12 or something..?

I'm beginning to feel really old..

..and a bit itchy,.. do you need an appointment at these places?

Thats what I thought. Last pic of him I saw he had no facial hair and wore glasses. Hes back in this country for 3 weeks and hes got the clap.

Played tbh.

 

[babs]

Did he sleep with Nago?

Christ, the whole of the North of England could be infected.

 

[Bodhi]

You think you're gutted? I went to Amsterdam on a stag do, used a noddy and I've still come back with an itchy willy.

 

[DaGaffer]

You think you're gutted? I went to Amsterdam on a stag do, used a noddy and I've still come back with an itchy willy.

I think I'll file that firmly in the "too much information" pile...

 

[FozzySon]

Thats what I thought. Last pic of him I saw he had no facial hair and wore glasses. Hes back in this country for 3 weeks and hes got the clap.

Played tbh.

Just literally pissed myself when I read that. *fluffles Trem*

 

[Lazarus]

You think you're gutted? I went to Amsterdam on a stag do, used a noddy and I've still come back with an itchy willy.

fuck sake Bodhi - you should have taken it off by now.

 

[Bodhi]

Oh I see, I thought I'd found a novel way of saving drying after a shower. Ah well.

 

[dysfunction]

The worlds full of Jacob Zuma's (The guy that had sex without a condom with a women he knew had HIV) by the looks of it...





http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/4876932.stm

 

[Chilly]

lol well if he knew then he deserves whatever he got. Unless he didnt actually know you could get it by fucking. In which case education let him down

 

[Embattle]

Ouch....well hope you get it sorted soon.

 

[Munkey]

Given me a bunch of anti-biotics to help sort it out until the tests are done.

Just worried about my gf, lives in a muslim country so she cant exactly walk in and say "HAY! STI TEST PLZ!"

All I can do is hope that its nothing serious, and ask what I can give her when I get the results back.

Fingers crossed eh?

 

[Lazarus]

Given me a bunch of anti-biotics to help sort it out until the tests are done.

Just worried about my gf, lives in a muslim country so she cant exactly walk in and say "HAY! STI TEST PLZ!"

All I can do is hope that its nothing serious, and ask what I can give her when I get the results back.

Fingers crossed eh?

havent u given her enough?

 

[Munkey]

Dunno if she has it, and cant check if she has, so better to assume she has.

 

[Bodhi]

You just have to sell it to her as the start of a collection. I'm sure a Full House (minus the AIDS) goes for quite a bit on ebay.

 

[Munkey]

You just have to sell it to her as the start of a collection. I'm sure a Full House (minus the AIDS) goes for quite a bit on ebay.

INFECTED SPERM - NO RESERVE!



dont think thered be many bidders for that tbh

 

[tris-]

You think you're gutted? I went to Amsterdam on a stag do, used a noddy and I've still come back with an itchy willy.

did you actually shag a whore there?

if so which one, how much and was it any good?

 

[Bodhi]

did you actually shag a whore there?

if so which one, how much and was it any good?

Yes, the one with a window directly opposite the door to the Old Sailor Pub, cost me 30 Euros and she was brilliant - have never had head like it in my life.