Politics Girls week away?

[MYstIC G]

Dunno Meg. She's a girl. It's all down to the vaguaries of her hormones/how the traffic was on the way home/how long it's been since she's last seen a kitten....

Just vote with your gut feeling based on the first post man

Let her go then tbfh. What you don't know won't hurt you and is only a possibility anyway. On the other hand a lifetimes worth of "you don't trust me" isn't something that will never go away.

 

[Scouse]

Your own insecurities amaze me, the fact you assume she will cheat tells me there may already be something wrong?

Maybe it is an insecurity. But I've said she's been on holidays abroad with mates before.

However, I think you're a mug if you're happy for your partner go on a two-person shagging holiday. I don't believe in blind trust and tbh I think people who do have rose tinted spectacles about human animals in a relationship and the effect of a week in the sun, copious amounts of alcohol, the knowledge that what happens abroad stays abroad, the persistence of men and the presence of a friend who'd spend the entire week encouraging you to "enjoy your freedom" coupled with the absence of other company.

The last point is important IMO. If it was a group, not a problem.

It's also not just the sex thing. It's also the fact that I don't trust her friend to look after her. And she needs it. The fact is, after a few pints she hits the shots and then I've been known to get phone calls at 4am from a scared and teary girl who's alone and incapable of describing where she is - despite having lived in the city for 10 years. On the three occasions that's happened, who was she out with?... one guess. Can't have that happening abroad, and given the 100% hit rate of it happening in England, I think it will.


It's 14-12 on the votes at the moment. I have to say I'm surprised about that. I kind of expected a 95% let her go vote.

Part of the reason I put the thread up was because I wasn't sure whether I was thinking like a massively insecure controlling twat or whether the circumstances were such that perhaps I had a point. I think that the fact I haven't got a problem with her going on holiday with a group of mates, or with another mate, points to me not trusting her mate more than my girlfriend...

 

[Calaen]

It's a tough one, but I think your thought process is correct. A group of girls going on holiday is one thing and there is still a chance she will bang when she is out there, but you feel more secure about her not doing so!!!

Going on a holiday with a single mate, who's clearly up for being banged all over is more difficult to deal with, because chances are whoever is banging her mate has a mate who is going as wing man. And that puts your other half in a vulnerable position, being left alone with a pissed bloke who knows his mate is riding.... Rape on holiday is absolutely rife, I wouldn't want my partner/gf/wife in a situation that she could not get out of. And when she is holidaying with only one friend, that situation is going to be occuring more often than not!!!!

I would lay out my concerns and let her make the decision, if she chooses to go after that, that is a different thread

 

[Fweddy]

Sounds to me rather than not trusting your missus you just don't trust her friend to look after her when she's drunk. I don't see anything wrong with that.

 

[Zenith.UK]

I was thinking that you could turn this to your advantage.
If your wife goes, get her to video her friend's "exploits" and sell the footage to some porn production company in the UK.
You get a bit of money for it at least.

 

[cHodAX]

I was thinking that you could turn this to your advantage.
If your wife goes, get her to video her friend's "exploits" and sell the footage to some porn production company in the UK.
You get a bit of money for it at least.

I pay cash for gash vids!

 

[old.user4556]

I was thinking about this again today. If I told my missus that I was going on a holiday with newly single Steve "any hole is a goal" Smith in Ibiza so he could net as many birds as possible, I reckon she'd not be happy.

She wouldn't stop me, but she wouldn't be happy.

 

[rynnor]

I think the issue is more why would a woman in a relationship want to go on a singles holiday?

 

[Soazak]

Maybe it is an insecurity. But I've said she's been on holidays abroad with mates before.

However, I think you're a mug if you're happy for your partner go on a two-person shagging holiday. I don't believe in blind trust and tbh I think people who do have rose tinted spectacles about human animals in a relationship and the effect of a week in the sun, copious amounts of alcohol, the knowledge that what happens abroad stays abroad, the persistence of men and the presence of a friend who'd spend the entire week encouraging you to "enjoy your freedom" coupled with the absence of other company.

The last point is important IMO. If it was a group, not a problem.

It's also not just the sex thing. It's also the fact that I don't trust her friend to look after her. And she needs it. The fact is, after a few pints she hits the shots and then I've been known to get phone calls at 4am from a scared and teary girl who's alone and incapable of describing where she is - despite having lived in the city for 10 years. On the three occasions that's happened, who was she out with?... one guess. Can't have that happening abroad, and given the 100% hit rate of it happening in England, I think it will.


It's 14-12 on the votes at the moment. I have to say I'm surprised about that. I kind of expected a 95% let her go vote.

Part of the reason I put the thread up was because I wasn't sure whether I was thinking like a massively insecure controlling twat or whether the circumstances were such that perhaps I had a point. I think that the fact I haven't got a problem with her going on holiday with a group of mates, or with another mate, points to me not trusting her mate more than my girlfriend...

Massive assumption that though really that this is a sex holiday for your Mrs, regardless of her friend's intentions (unless she's a complete doughnut and always follows her friends)... either your Mrs is or isn't that type, only you'd really know (compared to us at least). I personally don't believe someone is going to turn into a cunt just because of their present company, unless they were pretty much like that deep down anyway.

Can't really add much more to what russell said, it made a lot of sense.

If it were me however, I think your second point is completely valid. I would at the very least ask her to take a 'nice' friend you will know would look after her.

It does sound like you're more untrusting of her mate rather than being insecure about it all, but tbh if she was the sort that would jump into bed with someone else given enough pressure...it would have probably already happened, or would happen home or abroad.

I think the issue is more why would a woman in a relationship want to go on a singles holiday?

Holiday with same sex doesn't = singles holiday.

 

[rynnor]

Holiday with same sex doesn't = singles holiday.

Not always but this situation sounds like one.

 

[fettoken]

I pay cash for gash vids!

Really? : )

 

[russell]

I think the issue is more why would a woman in a relationship want to go on a singles holiday?

What???

 

[Scouse]

What???

Come on russ. Seriously?

As a man in a relationship, why the fuck would I go on a singles holiday? I'd much rather go on any other sort of holiday.

Sitting in a nightclub whilst your mates chase skirt is dull as fuck.

 

[Deebs]

You're joking, right? She's a good catholic girl.

I used to like living near a convent school. The dirty christian b1atches



I do love the term face like a plasterers radio tho

How can she be a good catholic girl if she wants to shag anything that moves... Or are you talking about your missus?

 

[Scouse]

How can she be a good catholic girl if she wants to shag anything that moves... Or are you talking about your missus?

In my experience catholic girls are the dirtiest. By far.

I think it probably comes from a natural rebellion against an authoritarian religion that tells them they're slags. IMO they generally go one of two ways - either really really dirty, or really prissy and judgemental.


On a side note - most of the really fucked up people I know come from strongly religious backgrounds. The two out-and-out alcoholic (and recovered massive problem drug fiends) people I know are both sons of pastors.

When they need love, care and non-judgmental understanding they get fucked over by their religion.

 

[Wazzerphuk]

I can confirm the Catholic filth theory.

 

[Scouse]

I'm glad it now has a name

 

[Roo Stercogburn]

"Allow"?

lol you misogynist wanker

 

[Deebs]

"Allow"?

lol you misogynist wanker

What happened to quoting?

 

[russell]

Come on russ. Seriously?

As a man in a relationship, why the fuck would I go on a singles holiday? I'd much rather go on any other sort of holiday.

Sitting in a nightclub whilst your mates chase skirt is dull as fuck.

Forgive me, but -thats cos you are a bloke!

Ive been away many times with single girlfriends whilst ive been attached. Yeah- some go on a shagfest. I go to drink, be free, dance and have a laugh and escape real life.
The real question is surely whether your gf is going to support her friend and have a laugh - or if you think she will join in on the shagfest?

 

[Scouse]

Difficult for her to dance and have a laugh whilst her only company is shagging some bloke somewhere.

There is more than the sex angle to my argument russ...

 

[Wazzerphuk]

Yeah, going in at the wrong angle hurts

 

[russell]

Have you spoken to her about it yet?
Have you communicated your thoughts are Big G suggested?
Or have you just got her to read this thread?

 

[Roo Stercogburn]

What happened to quoting?

Please, show me how to quote the original poll without screenshotting.

 

[TdC]

give them a video camera each, a skimpy bikini, some coconut oil, and my phone number!


on a serious note: I don't know what you should do. the socially acceptable answer seems to be "send her off and not give it a minute's though". fwiw, last time I trusted someone completely I got stabbed in the back and walked away with severe trust issues. I *HOPE* that if I am ever in a trust situation again, I can be cool and do the good thing.

On the other hand, a mate recently broke up with his gf. She'd gone to Australia for a month without him and he'd done the good thing even while there were signs that all was not well (and though a mate eg ME immediately told him to break up with her asap). She came back, told him their entire relationship was a lie, that people she's met for a day in Oz were more dear to her than he'd ever been, etc. People are cunts sometimes.

 

[Scouse]

Please, show me how to quote the original poll without screenshotting.

Bugger off Roo. I've made sure that it's quite obvious that she's free to do what she wants.

I don't know what you should do. the socially acceptable answer seems to be "send her off and not give it a minute's though". fwiw, last time I trusted someone completely I got stabbed in the back and walked away with severe trust issues. I *HOPE* that if I am ever in a trust situation again, I can be cool and do the good thing.

I'd have thought the socially acceptable answer would have been that too. But it turns out that people tend to be a practical bunch - voting's 17-14 at the moment, which surprises me - because to say in public "I wouldn't want her to go" would seem like social suicide.

If I had this discussion in a pub, with single women and men about, I'd expect a lot of the men wouldn't have voted the way they voted. A lot of the time men say what women want to hear (otherwise, lets face it, they blow their chance of getting laid) rather than what they actually think.

As for the trust issue. Yep, Teedles. Same here. However, I'm perfectly fine for me to have limits of trust now. Most of the time I wouldn't have a problem, in certain cases I would and I now expect the girl to respect my feelings enough for it to count in her actions - just as every single girl I've been out with has expected me to tailor my actions to suitable circumstances once I was "with" her.


Anyway. She's been working away. I'll have a word tonight and let you know

 

[MYstIC G]

the socially acceptable answer seems to be "send her off and not give it a minute's though". fwiw, last time I trusted someone completely I got stabbed in the back and walked away with severe trust issues. I *HOPE* that if I am ever in a trust situation again, I can be cool and do the good thing.

Whilst that sucks it basically backs up my logic. If it happens and you don't know you can't hurt and if you find out then whilst painful it stops you ending up stuck with someone who's a complete bitch.

 

[old.user4556]

I can confirm the Catholic filth theory.

I can also verify this (went to a catholic school).

Bury them all in a Y shaped coffin.

 

[TdC]

thing is, it's quite the sensitive topic to breach to a girl properly. I suppose the best you can hope for is the satisfaction of having voiced your concerns.

What she will actually hear is anyone's guess ofc. Personally I think you're 5:2 to having a fairly tough argument

 

[Wazzerphuk]

It'll be even tougher if he uses this thread to support his concerns