Politics Girls week away?

[Scouse]

So then. Straight to it.

A mate of the missus is getting a divorce. Left her husband 2 weeks ago. It lasted 8 months.

She'd been with the guy for about ten years and got married last year. I've always quite liked her. She's bubbly and interesting and despite being straight from "the valleys"* she's reasonably intelligent.

She also gives off a nice sexually available vibe. Very available. Not trying to piss the ladies off, but she's a bit of a ho**, at least before she met her ex.

She's quite fine and not at all distraught with the divorce (tbh, if it only lasted that long its a strong signal that she got married to fix a problem she knew she had - epic fail). And now wants to go and have "lots and lots of sex".

Which she will. Quite indiscriminately. Not that I'm particular bothered about that.


So. The question. She's asked my bird to go on holiday with her to Gran Canaria for a week.

If the circumstances were different and she'd asked her to go on a different sort of holiday (i.e. not a shagging holiday) I wouldn't give a stuff. But, frankly, I'm of the opinion that she should go ask one of her single friends to go on that sort of holiday.

Three or four drinks and my missus is fine. Five or six and she becomes the most gullible person on the planet and, more importantly, loses all ability to make rational decisions (then conciousness). 99.9% of the time I'm fine with that. In this situation I'm not.

So. Given the above. What do you do?



*Impoverished part of Wales.
**Numbers? I've got 'em. Maybe 50 or so men? Triple that for just BJ's - apparently they don't count towards the numbers (which I'm almost inclined to agree with). Yes, I'm old-fashioned and realise that's probably nothing nowadays.

 

[Levin]

First of all ask your missus what she wants. Perhaps she doesn't even want to go with her friend on a trip like that? If she does want to go, tell her how that makes you feel and take it from there.

 

[caLLous]

Bah I thought you were censoring a 4 letter word that start with ho**. I couldn't believe how badly you had mispelled ho.

It's not a question of "letting" her go or not... that's her choice. You need to talk to her about it and tell her your fears though if you're worried.

 

[Zarjazz]

Give Deebs her number.

 

[Krazeh]

So do you not trust your missus to behave while on holiday?

 

[Scouse]

C'mon. Have the guts to vote - don't stand on the fence

It's not a question of "letting" her go or not... that's her choice.

I understand that. Thought teh post and the poll questions made that clear.

So do you not trust your missus to behave while on holiday?

I also made my opinion on the situation abundently clear in the question Krazeh.

I used to be a mug. No longer. I don't believe in blind trust - I'm a realist.

If a newly-single mate asked me to go on a shagging holiday with him I'd expect my missus to be a bit miffed and I'd probably tell him no.

Despite best intentions you get tempted on holiday. After a load of beers with a mate egging you on to do the wrong thing, maybe you'd get tempted.

If one of her other mates had asked, I'd not blink.


So vote, people. Don't get on your high horse. This is real life, not a discusion of principles

 

[caLLous]

I didn't even see the vote tbh.

 

[- English -]

So do you not trust your missus to behave while on holiday?

was exactly my thoughts at first .. but from what scouse said I gather hes had bad experiences and might find it hard now.. I know If my gf wanted to go, it wouldn't be an issue of trust, but the same as he has .. will they get stupid, get mugged or something

I say let her go

 

[Ch3tan]

Your poll is flawed. Why not just talk to her about it, man up.

 

[Wij]

Perhaps she's after your missus.

This is good.

 

[Cyradix]

Allow her to go but make sure they get seperate rooms...

 

[Cerb]

Why would separate rooms help?

Personally a "week away", whether it be a boys or girls, that's all about sex is not really the place for anyone in a relationship. Tell her you don't like the idea.

 

[Everz]

Why would separate rooms help?

Personally a "week away", whether it be a boys or girls, that's all about sex is not really the place for anyone in a relationship. Tell her you don't like the idea.

Bullshit, I'm off to ibiza with me mates in august and that has nowt to do with getting my end away.

 

[russell]

If she wants to go (support/ look after her mate) who are you to stop her?
Tell her how you feel by all means, but she is a grown woman and friends are important.
If she is going to get bladdered and be unfaithful -she'll do it here or abroad. Temptation is everywhere -if you are looking for it.
Chances are, she will spend the time having a laugh and looking out for her mate -and missing you dreadfully and thanking her lucky stars she no longer has to do the whole cringy single thing. Thats happened to me a couple of times recently. Freedom has a funny habit of making you really appreciate what you have.

 

[old.user4556]

What age is your missus and this woman?

I'm a believer that you can voice your opinion, tell her how you feel about it, but I wouldn't guilt trip her if she does decide to go; that comes across as insecure and a bit controlling. If your missus has sex with someone else whilst away, then what will happen will happen. No amount of guilt tripping or controlling behaviour will stop it (she'll end up just resenting you which could cause your relationship to break down anyway).

When I was in my early twenties, I used to dictate to my then girlfriend where I didn't want her to go (notorious clubs) and not to mix with certain people (notorious, badly behaved immature friends). She mostly obliged, but she ended up being very resentful that I 'controlled' her and that relationship came to an acrimonious end. Now that I've got a more mature head on my shoulders, I generally let my current girlfriend do whatever she likes in that department and she has a lot of respect for it. I'd probably tell her I wasn't particularly comfortable with her going away with 4 single pals to Shagaluf and she'd probably decide against going knowing that I wouldn't be that happy. If she went anyway and ended up fucking big shiny negro cocks, then I'd be none the wiser if I never found out.

I generally wouldn't / won't get involved with a high maintenance, loose canon, Ibiza raving girl in the first place. Done it once, complete waste of time and emotional energy.

 

[old.user4556]

If she wants to go (support/ look after her mate) who are you to stop her?
Tell her how you feel by all means, but she is a grown woman and friends are important.
If she is going to get bladdered and be unfaithful -she'll do it here or abroad.

This (didn't see the post prior to posting mine).

 

[Cerb]

This situation sounds different though. From the way Scouse has described it this mate wants for just Scouse's missus and her to go away on a holiday where her sole aim is getting laid. You are going with more than one person and there is more to Ibiza than getting laid, even if that is a massive part of it.

 

[ECA]

she no longer has to do the whole cringy single thing. Thats happened to me a couple of times recently.

Not wanting to be judgemental so I'll ask - what's the whole cringy single thing?

 

[Cerb]

What age is your missus and this woman?

I'm a believer that you can voice your opinion, tell her how you feel about it, but I wouldn't guilt trip her if she does decide to go; that comes across as insecure and a bit controlling. If your missus has sex with someone else whilst away, then what will happen will happen. No amount of guilt tripping or controlling behaviour will stop it (she'll end up just resenting you which could cause your relationship to break down anyway).

When I was in my early twenties, I used to dictate to my then girlfriend where I didn't want her to go (notorious clubs) and not to mix with certain people (notorious, badly behaved immature friends). She mostly obliged, but she ended up being very resentful that I 'controlled' her and that relationship came to an acrimonious end. Now that I've got a more mature head on my shoulders, I generally let my current girlfriend do whatever she likes in that department and she has a lot of respect for it. I'd probably tell her I wasn't particularly comfortable with her going away with 4 single pals to Shagaluf and she'd probably decide against going knowing that I wouldn't be that happy. If she went anyway and ended up fucking big shiny negro cocks, then I'd be none the wiser if I never found out.

I generally wouldn't / won't get involved with a high maintenance, loose canon, Ibiza raving girl in the first place. Done it once, complete waste of time and emotional energy.

Actually this.

 

[old.user4556]

Personally a "week away", whether it be a boys or girls, that's all about sex is not really the place for anyone in a relationship. Tell her you don't like the idea.

I disagree.

I'm going to Portugal for a week with the boys for a golfing holiday and the respective partners are (probably) going to Ibiza at the same time for a girl's week away. Neither of the two groups is doing it to suck and fuck on the side.

 

[russell]

Or you say...
I dont want you to go. Why? Errrr because- I dont trust you... OR
I think you are going to go on a shag fest... OR
you will lose it when you drink...OR ..(my favourite) Its not you I dont trust, its the others..

bottom line -I DONT TRUST YOU and I think you are going to shag other men

Thanks alot!

 

[old.user4556]

To be fair Russell, there is an element of "it's the others". If I knew that my missus was in a meat market club on a Spanish island, I'd be nervous about the vast amounts of men sharking round about her. Hell, men do it to her even when I'm on a night out with her (either at the bar, or away for a piss). It's not the "not trusting her" it's the "bash your fucking brains in" red mist that men get when their woman is being sharked.

 

[russell]

Not wanting to be judgemental so I'll ask - what's the whole cringy single thing?

The whole 'chatting up' thing. Places where you can sometimes smell the desperation. All the fake, attention seeking stuff - yuk.
Not saying being single isnt fun -sometimes I dream of it! Its just certain places and certain people.
The few times I have been out recently -I have just craved a comfy sofa, a good bottle of wine and real conversation. A sign ECA, that I am waaaaaay past it!

 

[russell]

To be fair Russell, there is an element of "it's the others". If I knew that my missus was in a meat market club on a Spanish island, I'd be nervous about the vast amounts of men sharking round about her. Hell, men do it to her even when I'm on a night out with her (either at the bar, or away for a piss). It's not the "not trusting her" it's the "bash your fucking brains in" red mist that men get when their woman is being sharked.

Do you not love it that your lady is so fine, everyone wants her -but all she wants is you?

 

[old.user4556]

Of course, but millions of years of evolution is hard to put to one side.

 

[russell]

relax -its only because you are Scottish

 

[throdgrain]

I actually voted for "let" her go, but after reading ALL the op, I think really you need to ask your bird whether she really wants to go on a holiday like that.

 

[old.user4556]

I think it's fair to voice your concerns. Open and honest communication and all that.

Let us know when she's going so that we can troll you no end .

 

[Shagrat]

I agree with G, it's not really a question of you saying yes you can/cant go, it's more you just have to let her know how you feel about it and get an idea of what thinks as well. How does she feel about going away with a newly single girl who's primary aim is to get laid?

 

[Wij]

A bit of discipline might be needed.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...-marriage-tells-husbands-beat-hand-stick.html