Depression

[throdgrain]

If it was teenage angst, then I'd be far more seriously fucked up than I thought I was, as I'm 34 years old

Lol

Im sorry m8, I dont want to seem unsympathetic, that wasnt my intention at all. I truely have been in some very bad situations myself, but my only opinion really is that you only get one chance at life, just one, so we really must make the best of it we can, theres nothing else you see, its either this, or be dead :/ And dead is a shitload worse than anything else!
We had thing out on Barrysworld a couple of years ago, so I wont go into it in great detail, but I once found a bloke who had killed himself through depression, had set fire to himself of all things. This guy was obviously gravely depressed.
But when I walk past that spot every day with my dog, I see a little wooden cross made by one of his kids, with "we miss you daddy" written on it in biro.
Look what the bloke has missed.

 

[Mofo8]

If you're not sure if you have depression, there are a couple of tests commonly used by psychologists which are available on the internet. The Beck Depression Inventory is one of them - this test is actually under copyright from Dr Beck, and is therefore quite hard to find online.
Another is The Goldberg Test.

Despite being convinced that I'm feeling a hell of a lot better than I was several years agao, I still managed to score 49 on this test.

I'll need to have a hunt around and see if I can find the other test you mentioned. Interesting.

 

[Lynchet]

Ill join the list.
Im currently on invalidity benefit (again not a teenager - Im 31) with mental problems. I have the lovely combination of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder with depression thrown in. On medication and psycotherapy sessions -- luckily for me on the NHS so a. doesnt cost and b. they are genuine people really trying to get me better rather than just out for cash etc (not saying all private ones are just moneygrabbers but at least with the NHS you know they def aren't in it for the cash and want to get you better !)

I too in the past had someone tell me they thought it was "all in my head" -- well duh ! - kind of like telling someone with piles that its "all in their arse". It is kind of hard I suppose in that until you have been down in the depths you really can't understand what it is like.

 

[dr_jo]

I score 89. You can't always compare scores with other people, because it's all down to your interpretation of the questions. But it's useful as a basic indication of whether you need to be looking further.

 

[babs]

I was signed off work for a couple of months last year, a combination of depression (brought about by SAD) and severe anxiety (getting married that year). Got to the state where I couldn't think straight for even a minute of the day, but oddly slept perfectly and loved looking forward to nighttime when I felt more at ease. At one point I remember thinking 'This is it, I'm going mad, I'm going to lose it all', but I didn't. The hugely frustrating thing was that I had no reason to be depressed, I just got a new job, I was due to get married, I'd just been made a godfather - but as I'm sure many of you already know you don't always need a specific reason.

There's not a great deal you can do it's true, but I saw a counsellor for 6-10 weeks (these people are absolute saints, I strongly advise talking to one if you're in that situation, your GP can arrange for free sessions), within 10 minutes of being there you're crying like a baby and finding out stuff you never knew. The other things which helped for me were very mild anti-depressants (the kind used to stop kids wetting the bed) which after a couple of weeks stop the connections being made in your head which stop you thinking straight (sounds nasty but isn't), getting outdoors - sounds daft but go for a walk for 30-60 minutes a day, it's amazingly theraputic, and finally avoid the news. That struck me as odd at first but it helps, cutting yourself off from the unavoidably depressing news of the day helps quite a bit.

You do get over it (in lots of cases, I realise not all), it just takes time and perseverance. I dreaded this last winter coming, fearing the same would happen, but it didn't. If you have family nearby go and spend lots of time with them. Remember you're not the only one in the world who feels like that, you can and will feel better with time. I feel a little lucky now in that I appreciate smaller things more, just day to day stuff.

 

[mank!]

This has been a pretty interesting read, although probably not in a good way.

I've been suffering from depression for a few years now, probably nearer four. I'm currently signed off work due to the fact I've been very low of late but things have got to a point where I feel I can function again, although I'm still far from "better". My depression runs in cycles. I'll start off being extremely depressed, then get better for a bit, go out and find something to do whether it be a job or a course at college, then I'll enjoy that for a while and feel OK, then I'll start to feel extremely depressed again which means I throw whatever it was that was making me happy away. I was on prozac for a year and it did nothing except make me more agitated than usual and once I came off it - despite the drug supposedly being completely non-addictive - I suffered pretty bad withdrawal. I've wondered whether anti-depressants may be the answer again and I'm going to get an appointment with my GP to discuss it, but I'm currently at a bit of a loose end.

For the past three years I have been seeing a psychiatrict and a clinical psychologist as well as having my own social worker. All three are great and have helped me, but nothing's changed enough for me to feel ready to give it all up and move on with my life because I can't. I know I can't function properly and that's what stops me from going out and getting pissed and shagging birds, as throddy put it. I've just turned 18 and because I was previously on the child and adolescent services they cannot see me anymore, so I've either got to be referred to the adult services or just cut adrift and not see anyone anymore. It's pretty daunting because it's been one of the few things that hold any consistency in my life. They've decided not to refer me to adult services. I've got one last appointment with the psychologist for CBT and that's probably going to be it. I'm currently trying to weigh the pro's and con's of the situation but to no avail.

I wish I was in a position to offer any advice, but I'm so confused about how I feel that I'm not sure what would help. The things that have helped me most have been a youth project I attneded for awhile which was for people who are "out of education/employment" and they offered short courses in stuff like film-making, photography and we did some confidence and self-esteem work as well. The other thing, and this will sound absurd, is football. It's nice to feel passionate about something when everything has been so apathetic about my life, and it lets me get rid of the pent up aggression in side of me. Talking definitely helps, but despite the fact I can be quite outspoken at times I'm not really comfortable talking to people how I feel, especially with friends. I don't like the feeling that they're judging me and it always makes me feel awkward once I've realised what I've told them.

It's easier to hide away at home listening to Morrissey, but sometimes you have to bite the bullet and get out into the world and try to exist. It's times like that when short-term things like medication can help. A means to an end, if you will.

 

[Deebs]

My turn.

I believe I have been clinically depressed at a point in my life but never turned to anyone about it. Why? I felt embarrassed to admit it. I felt and often hoped that my life would end and the sadness/hurt would stop. It never did, so I spent more and more time with my family and friends and eventually got out of it.

The sad thing is that I lived with Polly for 4 years and she was clinically depressed and was on medication. One thing I found was how hard it was to try and bring her out of her moodswings and views on life.

She would say "Why bother?" "I wish I was dead" "what is the point? It is all shit!". It caused so many arguments between us as I couldn't see why she wouldn't help herself. Many a day she spent moping around, not enjoying herself etc.

Even now, when we are not together and she has a new partner, it is still the same. I ring her every now and then to see how she is and the pain and depression is still there. Her exact words to me most of the time is:

"Still not happy Tone, I am still trying to figure out what I am in life and where I am going".

Me? My outlook on life has changed for the better (imo). I rarely get worked up or annoyed, well only at work. I never take things for granted and my new motto is "Live for today and fuck tomorrow". Can be good or bad I guess.

Anyway, I've rambled enough and none of the above is meant to be patronizing to anyone, just what I thought when I read this thread.


ps. Got a 6 on that Goldberg Test thing.

You do not have any obvious symptoms of depression. You seem to accept the ups and downs which are a part of normal everyday life.

The above pretty much sums up my attitude to a T.

 

[tRoG]

Despite being convinced that I'm feeling a hell of a lot better than I was several years agao, I still managed to score 49 on this test.

I'll need to have a hunt around and see if I can find the other test you mentioned. Interesting.

I wouldn't worry very much - I got 43, and I'd say I'm pretty happy

 

[Sissyfoo]

I had (have?) depression a year or so ago and it was pretty nasty. I pretty much shut myself away from everyone. I think I had been suffering for several years before it finally got so bad that I was forced to go to the doctor who diagnosed it, stuck me on anti-depressants and packed me off to a therapist. I hated taking the pills and I stopped after a few months or so (not wise) and I found the therapist pretty unhelpful. I mean, it was good to find out the root cause of my problems but it didn't really solve anything. I'm a fairly cynical bastard so I found the concept of spilling my guts to some stranger who was getting paid to listen to my woes and ills pretty pointless. She doesn't *really* care about my problems as long as there is a nice cheque at the end of the session for her.

~cough~

Anyway, long story short, I found that getting out in the open air every day and going for walks really helped. Making the effort to socialise with friends was also pretty good but it involved a huge effort to go out and I probably wasn't that much fun to be around with anyway. A change of scene is also very important!! I went off to the US for 3 months and whilst I was there I didn't have to care about any of the crap back home. When I got back I was refreshed and full o' beans! Felt f'kin great! Highly recommended.

One last thing I have noticed (won't apply to everyone though) is that the weather in England really affects me a lot. Sounds ghey but some people are pretty empathic when it comes to the weather and their mood varies depending on what it is like outside. In the summer I literally bounce out of bed at the crack of dawn but in the spring, winter and autumn I tend to stagger out of bed, cursing the world and kicking orphans in the face. Hmm...what to do?

I'm currently looking for a country with a nice climate all year around where I can move to. Got nowt holding me back here ('cept me puss cat ) so as soon as I have a fair bit of moolah saved up I think I will give England the finger and sod off somewhere nicer.

 

[mank!]

I got 77 on that scale, but I don't believe in that stuff anyway. Especially internet ones.

 

[dr_jo]

The reason I picked that specific test is that it's used by psycologists in sessions - my consultant has used both of those with me.
Obviously they are all relative, but it can give an indication of whether you should be looking further into it or not.

 

[Wazzerphuk]

Counsellors/social workers etc DO care. It's why they go into that profession. Yes, they're being paid to do it, but only really caring people even think of doing that kind of job. The pay is not good for the work, which is often upsetting and distressing, and can have negative affects on the counsellor. We need more people like this, and a general shift in public opinion on them and depression as a whole. It *is* a very serious mental illness: the problem with it is that it's not like a normal illness, say the flu. The mind has no natural defence mechanisms against depression. This is why it is SO hard to get out of it once you are there. There's no respite of the feelings, there's no change. Unfortunately that change must be brought about by the person suffering from it: it's not easy, but it's the most satisfying thing knowing you're working your way out of it. Keeping strong is the hardest part, counsellors et al help keep your mind in physical training as it were.

 

[Sissyfoo]

Counsellors/social workers etc DO care. It's why they go into that profession. Yes, they're being paid to do it, but only really caring people even think of doing that kind of job.

The rational part of me *knows* that they care and that my well being is important to them. Unfortunately the rational part of me is microscopic in comparison to the fucked up, bitter and twisted cynical part of me.

 

[Damini]

I think Uni can be a real trigger for depression. I've never really been a skipping around wearing pink cuddling bunnies type of girl, but when I went to uni it really knocked me for six and I ended up getting incredibly low. I'd had a fair bit of crap happen in my past, but to be honest I don't know if that was the reason I got so awful, or if I just said it was because I needed to find a reason for feeling this bad and they were the obvious things to blame. You go to uni, and for most people it's their first time of living on their own, leaving behind your entire friend network and family, and add to that mix heavy drinking and being forced to make new pseudo friends as well as new lessons and study and it all adds up to a weird mix.

I did go to the doctors, and I got referred to a counseller and also a psychiatrist, and that helped. I refused medication because I just don't like the idea of being suppressed or muted, though there were a few times that I'd walk up to the doctors thinking I'd go in and demand them just to make it all stop, and then I'd just turn around and walk away again. I've had panic attacks for as long as I can remember - I used to get them in the playground at junior school and I recall one helpful dinner lady looking up my symptoms for me and explaining what was happening to me - but they started coming more frequently at uni as well. I haven't had a panic attack (touch wood) for about two years now, for as long as I've lived with Kenny.

I'm fine now, get my very occasional blue day but then who doesn't, but that person in the first year of uni is practically unrecognisable to me, and I wish I could just take off and nuke that year from orbit. I'd be driving home to my parents house at 2 in the morning in tears just so I could get away from it all, or getting woken up by a phone call and totally disintergrating and not being able to answer the phone (I'd even hide the phone and lock my door and refuse to answer either, pretending I wasn't in), I'd punch walls until my fist turned into a purple lump of bruise and fingers... I look back on it now and just don't even know or understand that whole period, and if I ever get to write my biography I'll surely be tippexing out that section

The doctor said that the breaks between high and low periods will become longer, and the dark patches will become shorter and shorter until they become insignificant, and everything just rights itself out in the end, and that's exactly what happened with me. It was just one awful year that I'd quite like to erase from my history, but it's stuck there.

I think if we're honest, everyones had their mad patch in their life, whether it's depression, or rage, or obsessing about someone, or stealing, or masturbating with a tangerine in their mouth in the toilets at the WI. Life is a thoroughly surreal experience anyway, and if you just plod through life understanding it all and not going slightly odd, then I think that makes you strange in itself.

 

[]AC[dRuM]

Talking to close friends is a good idea, talking helps a lot to be honest. I wouldn't suggest the join IRC and chat to Paddy752_ simply because this isn't good at all. Although saying that sometimes a PM chat with a total stranger can be great relief sometimes.

Family can be cool too sometimes if your family are supportive and don't fluster easily.

If you life is consumed by IRC / Online Life and the only friends you have are online then talk to them by all means, but there are people you can phone to just 'talk' if you feel that bad.

The hardest part is admitting you have a problem, then the worst of all explaining to someone the 'real' reason(s) why you feel the way you do, I admire anyone who lives with or has recovered from such an ordeal, all power to them.

http://www.samaritans.org/

"All I want to be is normally insane"
-- Marlon Brando

 

[granny]

I've suffered from depression on and off for the last 15 years or so. I refuse to go on anti-depressants for a variety of reasons so I've had to develop a range of other coping strategies.

Identifying triggers was crucial for me and very difficult but there's a few of extremely clear ones - alcohol, drugs and inactivity. If I get heavily pissed 1 or 2 times over the course of a weekend it's odds on I'm gonna have a bad week afterwards. Same with almost any drugs nowadays. I used to take a lot of E's, acid, speed, dope, you name it, these days I simply daren'y. Sure I'll have a nice night on a pill but I'll have a week or two of crushing, debilitating depression afterwards. And exercise - the more I do the more control I have over the depressive phases.

I'm lucky too, I work for a university so I have access to the uni counselling service and they have, literally, saved my life a couple of times. There was a point last year when I fairly majorly lost track of reality and did some extremely stuid things and the counselling service was a massive help afterwards.

Not sure what else to say - if you need someone to talk to about it at all feel free to get in touch, like I say I've got 15+ years of experience trying to cope with this fucking thing, my little black dog (as Churchill called his), I'm happy to listen etc.

 

[Mazling]

Born a halfwit, as opposed to a complete f**kwit, I've always had some kind of pretty decent grip on reality. Far more imhfo than people who tend not to think about things so much ... the ones who booze, socialse without any idea about themselves. My trouble is, that I've never wanted to 'join in'; I know how little I know, and distress to see everyone around me taking each other's words as gospel. I've never wanted the same things as others.
Except that new Gefore92FX Shiny-Golden-Sample XP PRO 900Gigaquad Uberrhaxel Graphics card. Which brings me to here and now: I too am stuck, at home, prone to random whinging over the internet, unable to go out and see what's going on face to face. Getting older I saw people around me become more intertwined, more worried about each other than what it all meant, the big questions etc. I'd say it was all done & dusted and unavoidable for years before I left college, but that's what most people will see. The decision. I did enrol to a fairly decent college and got in, despite the fact I didn't give a shite about school and got pants (compared to what I could have gotten, if I weren't miserable) results. I'm now just 20 and haven't been able to do a single thing for years.
I'ts not like I don't respect my parents and don't want to give them the bother of staying at home. I know that if 'm not able to support myself financially bad things will happen eventually. I just can't tell myself to want those things.

This thread hasn't cheered me up at all, but I'm sure knowing other people are in the same boat will help at some point, so thanks for er, just existing really

 

[old.user4556]

I'm in two minds over this depression thread, but I must be careful what I choose to type for I may upset some people.

When I was 20, I went through a small patch of what could be described as depression. When I was 19 and at college, I heard some of my college mates talk about 'IRC' and it sounded intriguing, so I tried it out. I find it great that I could talk to people all over the world, any time of the day. I started to use it a lot and this continued onto when I went to uni. Uni was hard, and I started to skip some of the lectures and lying in to 12pm. My sleep pattern took a knock for six and I was soon going to bed at 5am (talking to people on IRC from the USA) and struggling to get up for 1pm. I felt tired all the time and never saw my friends (of whom I had many) - I chose to talk to people on IRC. I managed to scrape through uni and when I left, my dad got wise for what I was doing - sleeping all day, up all night, no job, no money, fairly unhappy. I may not have realised it, but I was depressed.

However, my dad sat me down one day and basically went absolutely off his fucking trolley at me, telling me to get out of bed and get a 'fucking job'. If I didn't comply, I was out the house.

That was the major turning point in my life. Looking back, I realised it wasn't depression at all (although I thought i was at the time), but I was like a lot of other students at that time - doing fuck all every day, living off my parents, sleeping in until 12pm and getting away with it. Because I was bored, I started to ask myself stupid questions like "why am i here" or "is there a point to life?". I wasn't depressed, I was a totally lazy fuck. Once I got into a job, I cheered up a lot because I felt like I had a sense of direction and something worth working towards.

I realised pretty fast that noone was going to come along and make my life happy, or noone was going to give me pills to be happy, or that noone was going to lay it all on a plate for me and that I had to get up off my arse and do something about it. The truth is (imo) there is only one person that can help you out of 'depression', and that is yourself.

I fully understand that for a lot of people (including most on this thread) it's not as simple as this, i'm just saying that this is my personal experience and my own observations of my peer group.

Recently, when I was off for three weeks after an operation, I was started to get bored and I was house bound again (similar to when I was a student, but my girlfriend is now around to help). I started to go to bed later and later again, and getting up really late. I wasn't eating properly and I was unable to walk far or drive due to the nature of the operation. I soon felt like I did 4 years ago when I was 19 - the really lethargic lazy git.

It was at this moment I realised that without entertainment, prospect, motivation, goals or direction - the lack of such things can lead to someone becoming 'depressed'. When I returned to work, I was absolutely fine - I had no time to worry about silly things that seemed to be huge at the time.

On the other controversial hand:

Life is very short, and you only get one crack at it. Everyone has ups and downs, regardless of situation or how much money you have; but I daresay that most accept it as part of life.

On days where I'm not as happy as usual, I ask myself "how much worse can it be". The answer is "a lot fucking worse". There is war tearing countries apart such as Iraq or the former yugoslavia (the genocide ffs), or the civil wars in Africa, or the AIDS epidemic in Africa. The simplest of things (running water, electricity, doctors, pills, health service) are totally taken for granted in this country. You could be living in the ghetto, no toilets, no power, no medicine, no social workers. You could be dead tomorrow, run over by a bus like a 14 year old lad I saw in the centre of Edinburgh - crossing the road and *blam*, killed there and then.

Things could be a lot fucking worse in life, so next time you're feeling down, have a think about the millions (billions?) of people that are in a seriously far worse situation than you. Sometimes I do, and it makes my otherwise shit and difficult day a lot better.

G

 

[throdgrain]

Like the cut of yer jib young G bloke

 

[Tom]

Oh ffs cheer up you lot.










/coat

 

[nath]

Things could be a lot fucking worse in life, so next time you're feeling down, have a think about the millions (billions?) of people that are in a seriously far worse situation than you. Sometimes I do, and it makes my otherwise shit and difficult day a lot better.

But for someone with a real problem with depression, that can do more harm than good. You can start to think "what right do I have to feel so shit when there's other people who have it so much worse". That can have the effect of making you feel shit about feeling depressed, which really gets you nowhere.

 

[Damini]

There is a world of difference between being miserable, and being depressed, and I think maybe some people in this thread may not differentiate fully between the two. Depression is incapacitating, it is the domineering factor in your life at that given time, and it shouldn't be confused with being caught in a rut, or feeling a little low. The term depression is bantered around so freely ("Oh, I'm so depressed" sighs someone after their football team loses, or after they lose their favourite watch) that it's lost all currency as something that can seriously ruin lives.

I'm not meaning to pick on you Big G, I know you're saying effectively the very same thing that what you thought was depression really wasn't, but it's important to emphasise that real depression isn't just something that you can always be cajoled out of. You can rationalise it all you like, but rational thought doesn't chase away what feels like a gaping hole in the middle of your emotions.

 

[old.user4556]

Yes, quite possibly Nath - good point. This is my angle on things, and having not suffered from diagnosed clinical depression, perhaps I don't know enough.

Happyness has to come from within. I see happyness as being relative and seeing really bad shit on TV makes me unhappy, but at the same time I'm thankful for what I've got and how lucky I am to not be worried shitless about suicide bombers on trains/buses (not yet, god forbid).

G

 

[old.user4556]

I'm not meaning to pick on you Big G, I know you're saying effectively the very same thing that what you thought was depression really wasn't, but it's important to emphasise that real depression isn't just something that you can always be cajoled out of. You can rationalise it all you like, but rational thought doesn't chase away what feels like a gaping hole in the middle of your emotions.

Indeed, hence why I said "I fully understand that for a lot of people (including most on this thread) it's not as simple as this, i'm just saying that this is my personal experience and my own observations of my peer group".

 

[Mofo8]

There's also the whole theory (not really touched apon here yet), that some types of depression are caused by chemical inbalances in the brain. Not enough Serotonin for example. People suffering from depression caused by low levels of serotonin are highly unlikely to be able to 'snap out of it', 'pull themselves together' or 'just cheer up'.

Sadly for many people who've taken E in the past, this is the type of depression they've got to look forward to in the future.

 

[Mazling]

There's a difference between misery and depression alright.

 

[Wazzerphuk]

Sadly for many people who've taken E in the past, this is the type of depression they've got to look forward to in the future.

Nicely spouted ill-educated bullshit, well done moron.

I'm not even going to start to slap you about for such an overgeneralised comment. And without even any medical proof to back it up! Fantastic.





[Yes, people who take EXCESSIVE amounts are liable to more serious depression. Even then it's only a maybe.]

 

[Mofo8]

I didn't mean to offend anyone with that comment. A wee bit of searching the old interweb can turn up opinions both for and against a link between long-term MDMA use and serious depression. What I said was just my opinion, and I only offered it as a throwaway comment after mentioning Serototin. Erm... sorry

Researchers at London Metropolitan University have found that people who take ecstasy are more likely to suffer depression compared to non-users and even people who use other drugs

"There is a lot of data in animals showing that ecstasy damages the neurotransmitter for serotonin, which is known to be involved in depression."

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/2848489.stm

http://www.idmu.co.uk/extherapy.htm

On the other hand...

Drug experts have dismissed the conclusions a new study into ecstasy use which suggested that using just one ecstasy pill can cause serious depression.

http://www.tranzfusion.net/articles/shownews.asp?newsid=2314

 

[throdgrain]

Tell you what .
These miserable types are fucking touchy too!

 

[gmloki]

Life is very short, and you only get one crack at it. Everyone has ups and downs, regardless of situation or how much money you have; but I daresay that most accept it as part of life.

On days where I'm not as happy as usual, I ask myself "how much worse can it be". The answer is "a lot fucking worse". There is war tearing countries apart such as Iraq or the former yugoslavia (the genocide ffs), or the civil wars in Africa, or the AIDS epidemic in Africa. The simplest of things (running water, electricity, doctors, pills, health service) are totally taken for granted in this country. You could be living in the ghetto, no toilets, no power, no medicine, no social workers. You could be dead tomorrow, run over by a bus like a 14 year old lad I saw in the centre of Edinburgh - crossing the road and *blam*, killed there and then.

Things could be a lot fucking worse in life, so next time you're feeling down, have a think about the millions (billions?) of people that are in a seriously far worse situation than you. Sometimes I do, and it makes my otherwise shit and difficult day a lot better.

G

I Like your thinking G. Basically that is your coping tactic on how you deal with day to day shit. I've recently gone through depression for a culmination of things that have gone on in my life with my Father. Bullying, sexually abusing my sister treated like a door mat to put it mildly. Watching him beat my mum, Alcholism. The list is endless Sure you can identify the symptoms of what depression is, insomnia, iratability, tired blah blah blah.

All I can say is that depression isn't nice. For me I knew it was coming and I could feel myself slipping into it. It was like standing on top of a cliff and next thing you know your falling at a million miles an hour. Then you think it's a dream. When you wake up it's so hard to explain but it's like the world was in black and white. I had to do something because it was putting a great strain on my relationship with my wife and my family. The most heartbreaking thing was to see my 2 year old son refuse to come near me because I couldnt communicate with him properly. That was the turning point for me. My GP offered some anti-depressants and the wait to see a consultant would have been around 8 months. I refused the medication on the grounds it only focuses on the symptoms not the causes. She offered sleeping tablets. The reason why I wasnt sleeping was because of the terrible nightmares and waking up choking.

I have since gone private. It costs a fair bit but's worth every penny. It has helped me get perspective. Something along the lines of what Big G was saying but sometimes you dont know where to start to get that perspective in life.

My two penneth anyway