Cars (take 3)

[*Exor*]

Yeah, Alfas are nice, I fell in love with the GTV not long ago, wanted to buy one. For some reason the insurance companies I tried have a problem with them. 6 grand a year!! as if!!

TUG I didn't say you do need power to go round corners, I was merely replying to frankie who said his car would "beat any old crap exors got" or words to that effect, when clearly, we all know it isn't true.

For the thick people here:

The quote from frankie about cornering was followed up by "Now we're getting silly." from me. That was a completely SEPARATE paragraph to the one about power. Even a monkey could work this out, surely.

 

[*Exor*]

Apologies, I forgot. Your average monkey has a lot more intelligence than your average frankie or TUG. My Mistake.

 

[Embattle]

Originally posted by frankie
embattle, all cars have exhausts, yeah ?

No

 

[old.Inshala]

87 hossey's and 198 Kilos innt a bad power-to-weight ratio, but u get piss wet though when it rains.

 

[Insane]

A design concept...

me 'n a few mates noticed the Clio got its engine uprated to 2L recently, the sport bodykit 'n all that..

if a Clio can end up with 2L.. whats stopping a Saxo? or an AX.. or even a "shite" nova... "breaking the limit"

its interesting because a lot of the other 2L engines seem to have a similar size to the saxo's 1.6 VTS engine.. but the saxo would need modified shocks and anti-roll bars to help.. but power to weight ratio... *ouch* =)

oh yeah, take this with a pinch of salt.. we're only studying it.. my mate's already done his Fiesta with a 1.6l and nitro

InSaNe

 

[old.TUG]

There is only one of me, so how can there be an average?

Nuff said, you're the dumb fuck

2 can play silly games Exor you daft git

 

[old.MeddlE]

If you want a really interesting mod use the following ingredients.

1 x VW Polo (1995 onwards)
1 x VR6 engine

It fits!! How's that for power to weight. Sounds like fun to me.

 

[*Exor*]

TUG you are so UTTERLY lower-class that I am not gonna bother with you in future. Your mental capacity is not sufficient enough to cope with a proper conversation.

 

[bids]

There speaks the voice of the master race eh ?

 

[old.TUG]

Haha

Bye then Exor, close the door on your way out sonny

Aye, here's an interesting car...

Daihatshu (sp?) charade GTTi. 1.0 Turbo, 3 cyl (lol), 12v with 100 BHP.

100 brake per litre 60 in 7.7 secs too which is fookin' impressive for a diddly engine!

 

[old.TUG]

EXOR IS GAY LA-DE-DAAA

Oh yeah, that'd mean it'd piss on Exorpoo's poodlewagon

 

[bodhi]

Oh look. The clueless massive are out in force again. "A lowered Nova will out corner an MGF". Right. Can someone please tell me how an overweight front wheel drive front engined supermini will out handle a mid engined rear wheel drive sportscar? Now as I said on an earlier thread Im not a huge fan of the MGF (I find it looks a little bland and have a personal hatred of british cars) but pur-lease. Next we'll be hearing "ooooh my lowered escort can outhandle a ferrari 355".

frankie, a nova does not weigh 700 kilos. a nova in fact probably weighs only slightly less than an MGF. My Cinquecento weighs 730. So how in gods name can a nova weigh less than a cinque?

/me looks forward to the day when frankie, thinking that his nova can outhandle a Ferrari, understeers into a tree and kills himself cos his seatbelt had been stripped out to make way for an 8 litre Chevy V12. Which pretty much explains why I dont think 17-year olds should have access to even remotley fast cars. Give em all 1 litre fiestas is my theory.

Novas are shit. They were shit when they came out. They are even shitter now. What part of this dont you Max-Power brainwashed fuckwits understand?

Bodhi

 

[Xavier]

Hmm...

I think frankie was talking unladen at 700 kilos,

whereas your fatass in a cinque-tosspot is bound to bring the total to 730 kilos, u sure it aint more?

Besides all this bollocks, and it truely IS, there is one crucial difference, most of the lads want cars in which to DRIVE, they can, and will outperform Exor/Maurice in his rear-wheel-drive hairdryer simply because all he wants to do in it is cruise about, look pretty and preserve his 'do', whereas the other ppl will be actually pushing their vehicles (while stickin to the limits, eh?) and having a laugh.

 

[old.TUG]

Just as Xavier said

Bodhi, your cinquecento is a bag of shit anyways so go get a proper car yourself before you take the piss out of other peoples... and how is a 1.3 Nova overweight??????????? Tiny ickle engine, hardly a heavy body, pretty basic interior... Hmm, I'd say it's quite light really. That's why even a 200 brake 16v turbo nova can do 60 in less than 6 secs and bear in mind it's front wheel drive so traction is bound to be a problem compared to stuff like Escort Cossie's, Impreza's etc etc. Nowt up with Nova's @ all. You drove one, you didn't like it. SO WHAT?! We don't care! Bye bye

 

[old.sjp]

a nova probably DOES handle better that a mgf for one simple reason ......

...... the mgf is famed for being a crap handeling car, which was designed to sit outside an "hair salon" and be driven by middle aged women.


dont get me wrong, personally i think the mgf is quite a nice looking little car, but claiming its a "real" car ? please be serious.

also the point of a super mini is that they handle BLOODY well (isent the renalut ??? supposed to be one of the BEST handeling cars in any class on a fairly twisty turny rood ?).


i alos should point out (again) that real men drive Jag's (xjr's preferably) so enuff said !

 

[old.sjp]

and .....

wasent Bodhi the cause of my "BMW's are for tossers" post ?


----------------------------------
scary thought for the day ->
imagine the wierd science love child of Bodhi and *Exor*

sjp sits in a corner shking .....

 

[mookie]

please, keep going. i havent laughed so much in ages. keep up the good work

 

[old.Comatosed]

My Cinquecento...

/me watches Bodhi's remaining credibility fly out of the window

hehe

 

[old.Davehart]

lets face it, NOVA's are a bit shite really eh?

 

[old.sjp]

look,

we all no that nova's are VERY shit, its just that MGF's and that girly fiat are far, far, far worse

 

[*Exor*]

Yeah, given the choice between a Nova and an MGF, I'd go for the Nova everytime, honest.

(fucking lame twat)

 

[Embattle]

Most of you seem to know little about cars expect how to bolt on flash stuff which doesn't do much.

An MGF may not be a great car, compared to an Lotus elise but its certainly better than a Nova, period.

 

[bodhi]

/me shakes his head aqnd sighs.

I forgot about the theory that goes, never argue with imbecilies, as they only drag you down to their level then beat you on experience (/me waits for the "I know what you are but what am I" response).

Small the cinquecento sporting may be, but it will comfortably out burn and outhandle a nova sr with its eyes closed (I have proved this on many occasions) , it isnt a vauxhall (always a good reason to like a car), doesnt look like a brick, and doesnt require any fancy mods to make nice noises. Now kindly stop commenting until you have driven one and stop basing everything on common fuckwitted opinion thanks.

And Xavier. Try reading a car mag once in a while. The Fiat Cinquecento sporting weighs 730Kg unladen. The Nova weighs closer to a ton. Now shut the fuck up until you can afford a decent car.

 

[old.TUG]

lol Xavier's got a Mitsubishi FTO you dick

Your car is wank, my nova will be wank, Exor's MGF is wank. Everyone's car is wank!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But how's about this for a suggestion - the cars we choose are the ones we want for the required outlay of cash.

Nova - nice and cheap for people who are skint like me (call me a pauper if you really must Exor )

Cinquecento - at least you can let your girlfriend drive it and not give a shit

MGF - Bit girly but if that's what you like, then fairy nuff.

Still, I'll be willing to race you bodhi when I buy my shitty nova, lets find a decent deserted race track that's cheap and go head to head

 

[old.sjp]

oohhh, arnt we touchy twat face ?


i slagged the mgf for handling shit (which it does, i HAVE drove one AND inmho a transit van handels better) and for being aimed at a "certain" market.

now, on to you, o rude and unpleasent one, i slagged YOUR car of for being a tiny GIRLY car with didy wheels and a itsy-bitsy-tiny-winy engine, that is so very fast and streamlined ...

being honest the diddy fiats always handel well and are fun to drive, BUT they certainly are NOT the sort of car a real bloke should drive, a cute sporty girl maybe, but a bloke ........

also are you honestly sugesting that the Cinquecento looks GOOD ?, now please give an honest answer ?




anyway, all you diddy car owners are way off the mark - if you want a small car why pretend its anything speicial ?

we all no that it goes from 0 - 60 in an eternity (no mater how much noise the big exhaust makes ) and is a cheapo car

instead, get a old mini, they handel gr8, are damm cheap, if anything goes rong, its a sinch to fix and blokes ARE allowed to own/drive them


now fuck off Bodhi and go squeze into your manly car (and pray to god, you dont meat a horny mosquito (after all, it might confuse it for a nice miss perfect )




==========================================================
now being serious for one second, why the lame footer on all your posts arsehole ?

iam sure you are a sad litle twat, with a very small penis, but surly you could think of some thing alitle better than that ...

 

[old.TUG]

lol

Hey, the books say for bodhi's BIG FAT 1.1 litre motah, 60 in 14.2 secs

Even a Nova SR which is SLOOOOW to me books @ 11.8 and lets say the books are a bit out which I think they are, I've been in a near std nova sr 1.3 that did 60 in 10.5 and I bet your car Bodhi wouldn't do it in less than 13.

Anyways - the point of my message? I have no fuckin' idea So I'm off again, byeeeeeeeee!

 

[old.brock landers]

sjp- how can you possibly afford a jag when you are clearly
a) dyslexic
or
b) uneducated
????????????????????????????????

 

[Embattle]

Jags don't cost much second hand

 

[old.sjp]

thenk uyo landers brock orf yoru concern, iam but affriad ami dyslexic so fuck off, you sad twat.

but, you will also be glad to here that i am in fact pretty well educated (post grad) so i dont really give a shit.

regarding my financial status, you can fuck off again , but sleep sound in the knolage (hehe) that i can afford a very nice 97 Jaguar XJR






now, onto the serious part

Embattle is right a nice new shape jag can be got for arround £10,000. this will fool most plebbs into thinking you have a really good job, and drive a £30,000-£40,000 car .

unfortunately, the XJR is a tad more expensive (i cant imagine why). a shitty N reg one (i they really are shitty) will set you back arround £13,000 and i nice P reg one (i.e. mine ) goes for arround £23,000.

now if you are thinking about calling me a lier about the upper price end, sod off and go look at some of the cheaper examples.



Benifits of my car -

1) it doesnt look fast, aso its gr8 fun when a boy racer (TUG maybe ? ) tries to burn you off in his big bore(ing) nova.

2) it does 0 - 60 in arround 6.5 secs

3) top speed of arround 160mph (but ive only ever had the balls to do 140 )

4) a quality british interior (Bodhi, pls note that this is where Jonny German falls down) with tons of leather and real wood (black canadian maple in mine) - i guess i am a traditionalist.....

5) you can drive safe in the knoladge that if you hit most other cars on the round you will get out in one piece (they will probably be dead, but who gives a fuck)

6) it really,really,really anoyes green hippy types (which is nice)

7) its not a BMW



Downers -

1) i only get arround 12mpg

2) if i floor it it does a steady 2mpg !

3) the tyres are nearly £200 each

4) hardly anyone can tell the difference between an XJR and a fat soverign.

5) its insurance is due, and the cheapest quote i have got so far is £1400 (an increase of £600 !)

 

[old.sjp]

PS.

i dont include the S-Type in the above price guide , but seeing as its a shit litle ford mondao derivitive, who gives a shit