Your CV

[Slug]

Hey im trying to get a job, i rang them up and they want to send in my CV, shaqll i make a copy of it and send it in?

 

[mank!]

Don't bother, I doubt they take retards.

 

[Clowneh!]

harsh...

 

[S-Gray]

You should find a good template that works best for you dont just copy any old thing take your time, look at others and modify to your liking.

Speaking of which i have to update mine sometime soon... :/

 

[mank!]

Originally posted by Clowneh!
harsh...

Would you employ someone who can't even write a decent sentence?

 

[Clowneh!]

touché

 

[leggy]

Originally posted by mank!
Don't bother, I doubt they take retards.

No really.

That was shit mate.

And slug, yes you should send it in otherwise you won't get the job

 

[Clowneh!]

speaking of CVs...

I went to some career development thing. They did up my CV and showed me interview techniques and shit like that, as well as intensive job searching. Anyway, they mullered my CV
I thought it looked nice already, but then she squished it all into one page and got rid of my fancy lines.

I guess she knows what employers want to see tho eh? I'll upload my CV somewhere if anyone's interested (err?)

 

[mank!]

Alright, I'll be nice. You can all rip apart my CV and laugh at me in a sec.

 

[Scooba Da Bass]

First rule of CVs

DON'T USE THOSE FUCKING WORD TEMPLATES

Second rule of CVs

REALLY DON'T USE THOSE FUCKING WORD TEMPLATES

We get a lot of applications for internships at work and at least 95% of them are that stupid 'Elegant resume wizard', they almost always go straight into the bin.

 

[Clowneh!]

No templates used.

http://www.clowneh.nildram.co.uk/CVs/

 

[doh_boy]

Originally posted by Scooba Da Bass
First rule of CVs

DON'T USE THOSE FUCKING WORD TEMPLATES

Second rule off CVs

REALLY DON'T USE THOSE FUCKING WORD TEMPLATES

We get a lot of applications for internships at work and at least 95% of them are that stupid 'Elegant resume wizard'

ooops

 

[leggy]

What scooba said tbh.

As a general rule dont use word templates for anything.

 

[Clowneh!]

i made my first website using a word template

 

[mank!]

mankCV

Feel free to laugh, it sucks. As does content of said CV.

 

[Xtro]

"Eager to impress"

Going on the rest of the CV, thats a lie.

 

[Tom]

I would put your practical experience before any qualifications. That's what I'd be looking at, if I was considering job applicants.

 

[Xtro]

Originally posted by Tom[SHOTTEH]
I would put your practical experience before any qualifications.

Yep

 

[old.Reverend Flatus]

Originally posted by Clowneh!
speaking of CVs...

I went to some career development thing. They did up my CV and showed me interview techniques and shit like that, as well as intensive job searching. Anyway, they mullered my CV
I thought it looked nice already, but then she squished it all into one page and got rid of my fancy lines.

I guess she knows what employers want to see tho eh? I'll upload my CV somewhere if anyone's interested (err?)

She was right matey, definite improvement.

 

[djpringle]

Two pages max and try to sell yourself in the first paragraph or two, tell them what you are good at and then put relevant job history. Finally include your qualifications, again only relevant ones....

 

[Clowneh!]

u said exactly what she said

 

[mank!]

Originally posted by Xtro
"Eager to impress"

Going on the rest of the CV, thats a lie.

It's all lies, I was just demonstrating the layout for him.

 

[Testin da Cable]

my CV is three pages long. that's the shortest I can get it without getting _really_ summier. On a work level I don't really like the "let me tell you about me" style CVs and prefer the bare cold facts, personally I prefer the other way 'round

 

[old.RedVenom]

"Socialising with friends & Chess"

ROFOLOLOLOMAO

"I am a presentable, polite and an honest person, who is very keen to establish a stable career within the working environment of today"

"Possess good communication skills, which enable me to communicate well with people at all levels and from different backgrounds. "

I can't tell you how little you deserve employment after churning out something as bad as that. However you have made me laugh my arse off.
STUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPID

 

[Clowneh!]

i didnt write that

 

[Mr.Monkey]

Clowneh, you forgot to mention under the "interests" section.
-Hanging around school yards, selling crack to kids,
-Staying 50 meters away from my ex-girlfriend untill the restraining order expires,
-Collecting used condoms.

You won't get a job unless u mention them.

 

[Testin da Cable]

Originally posted by old.RedVenom
<idiocy>

perhaps you should give out some tips on CV making then smartalec

 

[old.RedVenom]

Don't be silly TdC, actually helping isn't part of my repertoire

 

[Clowneh!]

Originally posted by Mr.Monkey
Clowneh, you forgot to mention under the "interests" section.
-Hanging around school yards, selling crack to kids,
-Staying 50 meters away from my ex-girlfriend untill the restraining order expires,
-Collecting used condoms.

You won't get a job unless u mention them.

HEY I BET YOU WAS SO PROUD WHEN YOU THOUGHT OF THOSE INSULTS. I BET YOU KEPT THEM FOR YEARS BUT NEVER HAD THE CHANCE TO USE THEM. HEY UR REALLY REALLY REALLY COOOOOL NOW!!

 

[Mr.Monkey]

errr, joke anyone? You prolly shouldn't add them unless the job you are applying for is:
-Dealer/Pimp
-Psychiatric patient
-Street cleaner in machester


AND YOUR CAPS IS ON