You couldn't make it up.......

sayward

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Don't read this if you haven't read my previous thread.... and only if you are really interested. I think I am going to write a book and I need to vent to people who do not know me. And before anyone says anything; yes I know money isn't everything.

To set the scene my hub and I are both only children, we have been married for a long time and have 3 grown up children who live away.

My solicitor has a photocopy of my mother's will, on a scrappy piece of paper, with a signature and 2 witnesses (half cut off). The boyfriend 'A' has 'lost' the original! He hates me and wants me to get nothing. He and the witnesses have to sign affidavits to say a) he had the original (yeh right) b) they really witnessed the will despite it being a different date from the signature.

All my mother has is a semi bungalow 'up north' max worth £140,000. The only reason she has it is because of me but that's another story. I went through it the other day and everything in it is either mine or i have bought or given her.'A' has already been thro it he's even taken her make up; but it made me realise that until she met him we virtually supported her in every way.

I stupidly told my 3 children what is in the will.It says x to my cousin x to each of my children and x to 'A' because he loaned her some money. I said I wouldn't contest the will (I don't see why this cousin should get anything) I would just administer it as Next of Kin if they all gave me a small sum so all of us got the same amount as opposed to me nothing. Because believe it or not getting this small estate together is a nightmare.

You would've thought I had suggested i bite heads off kittens. All hell broke loose. They accused me of all sorts of things. They felt I wanted to contest it to stop them getting anything! When everything I have ever done has been for them. They started to behave as tho this money was their God given right.

Left me absolutely reeling. 1. Although I had an idea my mother was a nasty piece of work, I had no idea she was this bad 2. what happened to my children's love and faith in me? 3. I know she has deliberately tried to cause as much trouble as possible and she has succeeded. I am trying very hard not to make myself ill.

Then the bombshell dropped my step mother in law died but that's the next installment. I'll leave you with this for the moment as it's getting too long.
 

caLLous

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Tell your children they're not too old to be put across your knee. I'd give up on the idea of a "fee" for dealing with it and just get it done and move on but that's ridiculous behaviour on their part, if they're aware of everything that's been going on. Or tell them to sort it out themselves and walk away (not sure if that's possible if you're the official next of kin).
 

Moriath

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Wow. Your kids are really something. I generally just take for good what my mum wants and says. She even gave us 5k out of my grans will when it was all to get between her and her sister out of her part.

I would say feck it you be executor if you dont do as i am willing to do.
 

DaGaffer

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Don't read this if you haven't read my previous thread.... and only if you are really interested. I think I am going to write a book and I need to vent to people who do not know me. And before anyone says anything; yes I know money isn't everything.

To set the scene my hub and I are both only children, we have been married for a long time and have 3 grown up children who live away.

My solicitor has a photocopy of my mother's will, on a scrappy piece of paper, with a signature and 2 witnesses (half cut off). The boyfriend 'A' has 'lost' the original! He hates me and wants me to get nothing. He and the witnesses have to sign affidavits to say a) he had the original (yeh right) b) they really witnessed the will despite it being a different date from the signature.

All my mother has is a semi bungalow 'up north' max worth £140,000. The only reason she has it is because of me but that's another story. I went through it the other day and everything in it is either mine or i have bought or given her.'A' has already been thro it he's even taken her make up; but it made me realise that until she met him we virtually supported her in every way.

I stupidly told my 3 children what is in the will.It says x to my cousin x to each of my children and x to 'A' because he loaned her some money. I said I wouldn't contest the will (I don't see why this cousin should get anything) I would just administer it as Next of Kin if they all gave me a small sum so all of us got the same amount as opposed to me nothing. Because believe it or not getting this small estate together is a nightmare.

You would've thought I had suggested i bite heads off kittens. All hell broke loose. They accused me of all sorts of things. They felt I wanted to contest it to stop them getting anything! When everything I have ever done has been for them. They started to behave as tho this money was their God given right.

Left me absolutely reeling. 1. Although I had an idea my mother was a nasty piece of work, I had no idea she was this bad 2. what happened to my children's love and faith in me? 3. I know she has deliberately tried to cause as much trouble as possible and she has succeeded. I am trying very hard not to make myself ill.

Then the bombshell dropped my step mother in law died but that's the next installment. I'll leave you with this for the moment as it's getting too long.

Sorry, just to understand here; you get nothing in the will, but you've nominated yourself as Executor, but you want a cut in exchange for doing so? If so;

a. Yes, sorry your Mum sounds like a bit of a cow (RIP etc.)
b. You don't make clear what the "small amount" you want is but if its currently split five ways are you thinking divide by six so you want about 23K? And they each lose about 5K?
c. The money is their "God given right" if its in the will. Personally I wouldn't be a dick to my mother about it, but I don't know their financial circumstances either.
d. Honestly, if it was me I'd have washed my hands of the whole fucking thing the minute I realised I wasn't in the will, and left it to someone else to sort it out.
 

Gwadien

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lol.

It's not even like it's a ridiculously large amount of money to share between you.

But just goes to show - Money.

Same shit happened when my grandparents died, dads side of the family just disintegrated.

This is why my Dad has promised he'll spend all his money before he dies, I'll probably do the same, I don't give a fuck if my children hate me when I'm dead because of it, just so long as they still get on with each other.
 

Moriath

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lol.

It's not even like it's a ridiculously large amount of money to share between you.

But just goes to show - Money.

Same shit happened when my grandparents died, dads side of the family just disintegrated.

This is why my Dad has promised he'll spend all his money before he dies, I'll probably do the same, I don't give a fuck if my children hate me when I'm dead because of it, just so long as they still get on with each other.
/me shudders at the thought of @Gwadien kids.
 

sayward

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Sort of got lumbered. Not a proper will. So no solicitor and no executors. I as Next of Kin become administrator. Because of their reaction, it was only a suggestion, I handed it over to my solicitor who I will have to pay. But still have to do the physical stuff, sign papers, get house on market.
 

sayward

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Ps it's even less than that as this bloke is down as owning 20% of the bungalow. My mother was an idiot. And we still don't know if the will is valid.
 

DaGaffer

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Sort of got lumbered. Not a proper will. So no solicitor and no executors. I as Next of Kin become administrator. Because of their reaction, it was only a suggestion, I handed it over to my solicitor who I will have to pay. But still have to do the physical stuff, sign papers, get house on market.

You're allowed to deduct expenses/legal fees as executor. You don't need anyone's permission to do that.
 

Tom

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I don't need any inheritance, I'm fine as I am. So I told my mother to spend it all, every last penny, having a great time.

Sayward if you've been nominated the executor, but not left anything (by your mother of all people), then simply refuse to do it. And frankly, if your kids are getting their noses out of shape over a measly £5k, then they're all dicks.
 

Gumbo

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If the Will isn't a valid Will then the laws of intestacy kick in don't they? That makes stuff really fucking simple, but also can be terribly unjust.

On that basis, if I'm reading your post right... Once it has been established that she died without a valid Will, everything will pass to you. What you then choose to do with it is up to you. If you want, gift it out as you see fit.

Of course, the others might contest that the Will is valid, in which case you'll need hefty legal advice and some of the estate is likely to get swallowed in fees. Of course those contesting it will have to risk their own fees, or find a no win/no fee solicitor to take it on.

This shit is often a mess. It took me 10 years to sort out one death/family type dealio, even then I got stiffed for about £70k in inheritance...
 

DaGaffer

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If the Will isn't a valid Will then the laws of intestacy kick in don't they? That makes stuff really fucking simple, but also can be terribly unjust.

On that basis, if I'm reading your post right... Once it has been established that she died without a valid Will, everything will pass to you. What you then choose to do with it is up to you. If you want, gift it out as you see fit.

Of course, the others might contest that the Will is valid, in which case you'll need hefty legal advice and some of the estate is likely to get swallowed in fees. Of course those contesting it will have to risk their own fees, or find a no win/no fee solicitor to take it on.

This shit is often a mess. It took me 10 years to sort out one death/family type dealio, even then I got stiffed for about £70k in inheritance...

No, if an estate is intestate; everyone with a potential claim can come out of the woodwork. Happened with my granny and all sorts of chancers popped up even though my Dad was an only child.
 

Yoni

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If you don't need the money, stay well way and as your kids have decided to behave like 5 year olds being denied a lollipop before their supper make them fend for themselves re the will and provisionally cut them out of yours. It drives me bonkers when I see kids fighting like vultures over wills, the whole process of burying a parent is shitty enough without the added stress. Having said that if you want to contest it is possible... My mum had a similar situation with her father, where an affidavit appeared giving everything to his second wife and step children....Mum faught but also became very ill in the process. None of the grandchildren however gave a rats arse we were either grown up with money of our own or too young to understand.
 

Gumbo

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No, if an estate is intestate; everyone with a potential claim can come out of the woodwork. Happened with my granny and all sorts of chancers popped up even though my Dad was an only child.

They may pop up, but assuming this is English law the rules are very straightforward. In the absence of a husband or civil partner, everything is shared equally between descendants, or their descendants. So if Sayward had a sister for instance, it would be shared between the two of them. If the sister was dead, but had 2 children, it would go 3 ways, Sayward and the 2 children.

As I read it, Mother died unmarried, one child, slam dunk. I may have read it wrong.
 

Gumbo

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To continue. Of course, the problems start if the Will is declared valid, or there becomes an argument over whether the Will is valid or not. Which seems likely in this case. For this you need detailed legal advice, and I don't know where the money to fight the case comes from. I would like to think that you'd be able to get some advice from your local Probate office. They certainly have to confirm that the Will is valid in order to grant you Probate and enable you to deal with the estate. I don't know how it works if they agree with you that the Will is not valid because dodgy signatures suggest the possibility of fraud etc. I guess this is where it's likely to end up in court for the judiciary to decide if the Will is valid or not.

So,

Establish if the Will is valid, in which case, if you're the executor, process the Will as it stands. Sorry if it doesn't leave you anything, that's just the way it works. I believe that there is some mechanism to get the Will 'varied' if all parties agree, but it seems that this isn't likely in this case. You don't get to demand a fee or to get it 'balanced'. It's just a shitter. You can decline to be the executor, as I understand it. You, as an executor can also engage a firm of solicitors to administer it, and just sign various bits as they cross your desk. That could eat up a nice chunk of the money if you're feeling so inclined...

If the Will is not valid, and it's established that their is no valid Will, then see above, rules of intestacy. You need actual decent legal advice through this though, which is likely to cost you something.
 

Gwadien

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I don't think Sayward cares THAT much to be honest, I mean sure, we'd all love some free money but hey.

Think she's just more pissed at her kids reaction. Sayward, retire, sell up and go on a cruise for the rest of your life, you go and spunk all the money you have up the wall.
 

DaGaffer

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They may pop up, but assuming this is English law the rules are very straightforward. In the absence of a husband or civil partner, everything is shared equally between descendants, or their descendants. So if Sayward had a sister for instance, it would be shared between the two of them. If the sister was dead, but had 2 children, it would go 3 ways, Sayward and the 2 children.

As I read it, Mother died unmarried, one child, slam dunk. I may have read it wrong.

Nope. In England it goes "spouse/civil partner, children, grandchildren, great-granchildren, other close relatives" and its that last one where the fun starts; cousins count. So in this case, all the people who are in the sort of might be may be will would be covered by intestacy rules, with the exception of the boyfriend unless they had a civil partnership (which I don't think they did).
 

Gumbo

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FFS. From your link.

Children - if there is no surviving married or civil partner
If there is no surviving partner, the children of a person who has died without leaving a will inherit the whole estate. This applies however much the estate is worth. If there are two or more children, the estate will be divided equally between them.

It doesn't matter how many other people there are. In this case Sayward is an only child.

edit... I italicised the WHOLE part.

Cousins would only count if Sayward didn't exist.

Assuming the Will is not Valid. This has to be established. If it's not, the Rules of Intestacy are very very simple.
 
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sayward

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Thankyou everyone. I seem to agree with everything. Think I forgot to say she only made this will 3 weeks before she 'fell' and hit her head in October. 'A' has destroyed her previous will leaving everything to me. As I see it it all depends on which side of bed the Probate officers get out of bed on the day they decide!
 

sayward

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The money is not a life changing amount. I just feel utterly betrayed by first my mother and then my children. It's as tho I've been living a lie my whole life.
 

Gwadien

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Have a proper mid life crisis, go buy yourself a classic Porsche wear too much lipstick and dye your hair blonde
 

SilverHood

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The boyfriend 'A' has 'lost' the original! He hates me and wants me to get nothing. He and the witnesses have to sign affidavits to say a) he had the original (yeh right) b) they really witnessed the will despite it being a different date from the signature

So if this is the case, simply state there is no valid will, and the entire estate will go to you as an only child? Write your children out of your own will while you are at it, and then send them a copy along with the photos of you enjoying life on a Carnival cruise in the Caribbean. Because who has time for ungrateful kids once they leave the nest.
 

sayward

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Unfortunately as of yesterday this cretin has found the original will. So even tho it's hand written on a scrappy piece of paper I don't think I stand a chance.
 

Gwadien

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If you're actually bothered, I'm not entirely sure here, but don't wills have to be backed up with legal stuff? I mean, what's to say he didn't write it himself?
 

Job

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The woman across the road from my mothers lived alone for 35 years, we did her shopping, took her to hospital, invited her every year for christmas, took her out for her birthday.
She gave my mum an ivory ring worth a few hundred pounds.
She died and the never seen family turned up.
They read her diary and found she had written in it that she had given the ring.
The woman knocked and demanded it back.
Her estate was worth 700K.
They never turned up once while she was dying and she actually died holding my mums hand.
These people exist in life.
 

sayward

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Yesterday we had the bungalow emptied and it should be going on the market. He tried to quietly give the men 3 boxes of jewellery. I went thro it. The biggest pile of junk I have ever seen. Not even her dress stuff. Not even her wedding ring. Short of a hit man Don't know how to get it from him.
 

Moriath

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I've seen it. She wrote it. Crazy.
Only way to do it is to prove she wasnt in a sound mond in a court. That and with the jewelry. Unless you really want it. Its time to let go.
 

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