Confused Worst UDIs (Unidentified Drunken Injuries) and Similar

[DaGaffer]

I have an interesting scar that runs across two of my fingers where I jumped over a wall to get my shoe back (which another mate had thrown over, as you do). I cleared the (rather high) wall but didn't notice the embedded glass on the top of it. Cue two fingers opened to the bone and blood everywhere.

I also broke my arm when I was 15, pissed out of my face at a house party, I was slumped on the sofa with my arms splayed out and someone sat down on my right one. When you're 15 your bones don't necessarily snap, they bend (greenstick fracture). My mate jumped up when I screamed, saw my S-shaped forearm and promptly fainted and brained himself. We shared an ambulance...

 

[Hawkwind]

2 cracked ribs after tripping over some work in progress steps outside the Airport Meridien in Dubai. Was two years ago and I still get pain from it. Disllodged some of the cartilage in between the ribs. Hated that drunken injury more than the dislocations playing Rugby, Water Polo and Football. They total 4 knees, 1 shoulder and 3 fingers.

The funniest drunken injury I've seen was a from a South African mate that came back from a good night out and decided he needed a shower. Was in a rented house in Penzance. The shower was of those bath/shower curtain types. He slipped in the bath and ended up with a tap inserted in his anus, screaming. Had to take him to hospital to get stiches in it. Imagine the explanation to the nurses, I could barely stop laughing to explain it.

 

[opticle]

Thank you to everyone for making me feel a little less sorry for myself

Tdc.. Steve McQueen fan by any chance ? That is some pretty extreme shit. You still have both your legs ?

He slipped in the bath and ended up with a tap inserted in his anus, screaming. Had to take him to hospital to get stiches in it. Imagine the explanation to the nurses, I could barely stop laughing to explain it.

This sort of thing happens for real ?? £10 says the nurses didn't believe a word Occam's Razor says there's a better explanation..

 

[Access Denied]

Haha, probably not the sort of pokey bum wank he had in mind =P

 

[Tom]

Call me boring but I've never drank so much I couldn't remember what I did. Been sick everywhere a few times, ran down the street in my underpants, but memory loss? Nope.

 

[TdC]

Tdc.. Steve McQueen fan by any chance ? That is some pretty extreme shit. You still have both your legs ?

yes, and yes I was young and dumb, doing things that young and dumb people do. I like having adventures, but I'm a little bit more careful hehe.
tbh, typing that stuff (actually, I missed out some accidents because they were neither drink or drug related) made me feel bad for my mum. It's not so nice when your kid gets you out of bed at 3am to drive them to the hospital, and I'm acutely aware that I have done this to her on a number of occasions. When I badly broke my leg, I didn't want to open my eyes in the hospital because I knew I'd see my mum and she'd be alarmed and frightened

 

[old.Tohtori]

Call me boring but I've never drank so much I couldn't remember what I did. Been sick everywhere a few times, ran down the street in my underpants, but memory loss? Nope.

Actually not about the amount, it's about the brain being wired differently. Some people forget some things of a drunken night just to save storage, as it's mostly useless wandering etc.

I for one remember/act exactly the same as i would normally(or drunkmally), but sometimes things get deleted when i sleep it off.

 

[Hawkwind]

This sort of thing happens for real ?? £10 says the nurses didn't believe a word Occam's Razor says there's a better explanation..

The nurses did believe us, but only because we were in hysterics telling them what happened. She told us of similar injuries she had seen in A&E caused by all sorts of weird gay play objects being inserted into bums. Probably helped that we had a couple of girls with us.

 

[opticle]

tbh, typing that stuff (actually, I missed out some accidents because they were neither drink or drug related) made me feel bad for my mum. It's not so nice when your kid gets you out of bed at 3am to drive them to the hospital, and I'm acutely aware that I have done this to her on a number of occasions.

Too right mate. Though I've never owned a motorbike, I've scared her on enough occasions in one way or another. She's awesome and always there for me, I'm very lucky. Though I think she's secretly enjoying the opportunity to treat me like her likkle boy again on this occasion, I'm going to try my best to make it a long while before the next time - and look out for her when she eventually needs me (hopefully a long way off).

Probably helped that we had a couple of girls with us.

I will bear this in mind if ever am ever unfortunate enough to end up in A&E with a similar injury

Call me boring but I've never drank so much I couldn't remember what I did. Been sick everywhere a few times, ran down the street in my underpants, but memory loss? Nope.

Not boring. I wish I had your sense - I just get carried away. I'm quite an innocent fella as drunks go - I get very happy and assume everyone is my best friend. This probably hasn't been helped by spending my early years starting to drink at house parties surrounded by friends, and following that more than the standard number of years at a uni where you're set into colleges and have tonnes of big in-college parties as much as going out on the student nights, and never out on the local nights. In those circumstances everyone IS your friend. I'm starting to learn that in the big wide real world they are not.

Though as Toht says, some have lower thresholds than others for the memory going.. I don't think coming off the back of the night shifts helped me on this occasion Silly boy. But lesson learned I guess

The other lesson here is to take care in the shower.

 

[soze]

Some of these injuries really make me glad that I am a sleeper when I get drunk

I read a quote earlier today which made me think of this thread "The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else's highlight reel".

 

[TdC]

Too right mate. Though I've never owned a motorbike, I've scared her on enough occasions in one way or another. She's awesome and always there for me, I'm very lucky. Though I think she's secretly enjoying the opportunity to treat me like her likkle boy again on this occasion, I'm going to try my best to make it a long while before the next time - and look out for her when she eventually needs me (hopefully a long way off)

good man!

 

[Tom]

To be even more boring, I very rarely drink anything at all these days. I simply can't be arsed.

 

[TdC]

I always had you pegged as a cider man for some reason. Like a proper farmer's cider, when the sun's going down after a hot day. I have no idea why I think these things 0o

 

[Everz]

I've had some shockers.

The worst was birthday last year. When I came too I was on the floor absolutely starkers, the room itself was blastered with orange sick smelling of pure death. My head was banging, nose had dried blood poured down it and I had a massive bruise on my cheek. Got up and saw a massive hole in my wall that lead to the front room (was only a thin plaster board that seperated), asked my mate and it seems I tried to reinact the famous scene in The Shining to the people in the frontroom, I prompty went full force with the side of my face, made the hole then just dropped the floor and fell asleep. Couldn't explain the sick however, but I wish it could have been filmed.

 

[Wazzerphuk]

Hardly unidentified but went round a mates for a quiet one. A significant quantity of pills (even by my old days standards) later when my mate went out to uni (he slept, the noob) I was still far too wasted to leave a house.

I'd been smashed out for a while, so went for a piss. Obviously my inactivity, my obliterated state and my sudden movement all caught up on me when I got my cock out to piss.

I then heard two really loud cracks.

I woke up on the floor of a strange bathroom utterly confused as to how I got there. Then I saw my cock was still hanging out my flies and for some reason my back hurt to buggery. As I slowly came to I pieced back together what had happened - as I was about to piss I blacked out, fell back and hit my head on the sink twice and scraped my back down the corner of a little cabinet. I have no idea how long I was on the floor there. I looked at my back and saw a deep graze along all of it.

My head didn't hurt a jot though. Despite it taking the brunt of the fall on ceramic.

One of many interesting experiences that told me I should probably slow down with what I was doing and I was still only 21/22.


Edit: Just remembered that was also the night I threw up in his kitchen sink, all over the utensils and everything else in there. I thought I'd given it a good rinse before I left but obviously it wasn't good enough... his housemates were more than chuffed to find that there.

 

[Ormorof]

i once ended up in hospital on april 1st, worst day ever to get injured, no one freaking believes you

 

[mycenae]

Don't drink and never have done, so can;t really contribute to this thread....however, Vae has a good scar from an injury he got whilst drunk....but I promised I wouldn't say, so now you can all just pester him to hear it!

 

[old.Tohtori]

Don't drink and never have done, so can;t really contribute to this thread....however, Vae has a good scar from an injury he got whilst drunk....but I promised I wouldn't say, so now you can all just pester him to hear it!

Scrotum, zipper *nod*

 

[TdC]

nah Toh, clearly a stripper bit off one of his nipples. *nod*

 

[mycenae]

nope, and nope again.....the scar is on his hand

 

[TdC]

Vae's hand was bitten by a rabid stripper while in a desperate struggle to prevent said stripper from chomping down on his nipple?

 

[mycenae]

a rabid stripper....wow, thats quite some mental imagery. Just makes me think of a zombie stripper!

 

[old.Tohtori]

a rabid stripper....wow, thats quite some mental imagery. Just makes me think of a zombie stripper!

Pictures!

Though i do have this as a wallpaper these days;

http://dark.pozadia.org/images/wallpapers/Zombi-561243.jpeg

 

[TdC]

a "no hotlinking" pic? repeat or stretch? ;-)

 

[old.Tohtori]

No hotlinking? Link no worky?

Anyway, i edited in photoshop to fit nicely.

 

[TdC]

I'm still obsessing about Vae being killed and eaten by a rabid zombie stripper and am not listening to you

 

[mycenae]

you're obsessing about Vae being killed? What do you have against my poor husband?

 

[old.Tohtori]

you're obsessing about Vae being killed? What do you have against my poor husband?

I think we're obsessing over the zombie stripper.

 

[cHodAX]

Call me boring but I've never drank so much I couldn't remember what I did. Been sick everywhere a few times, ran down the street in my underpants, but memory loss? Nope.

Had memory loss once and it scared the shit out of me, will never drink JD mixed with tequila, gin and coke again.

 

[Fweddy]

Zombie Strippers!