Confused Worst UDIs (Unidentified Drunken Injuries) and Similar

[opticle]

This is largely a thread to demonstrate how big an idiot I am, and allow people to mock me for it. If you have similar experiences, though, please share them

I finished a week of night shifts last week. Friends and I had a reunion. Drinks were drunk. That's where the timeline becomes uncertain.

At some point, I was separated from the group. At some point I sustained fairly significant facial injuries. Whether it was someone else or I simply did the world's highest scoring faceplant, we don't know. At some point some nice person stuck a dressing on my face, took me to A&E and left me there at about 2am. Obviously because I was completely out of it, I wandered out of A&E before I could be seen and when consciousness returned I was in the middle of nowhere, covered in my own blood (and still bleeding) and scared. My wallet and phone were still on me. Queue 2 hours of wandering to find my way back to my friend's place (purely by chance) at 5am. I was taken back to A&E at 10am (where I found out I'd already been..).

Stitches, cleaning of some nasty scrapes and a ?broken nose later (have to wait for the swelling to go down) I am left feeling like the world's biggest mug. I also have a pretty large bruise on the outside of my thigh jus above the knee, which doesn't make any sense, so some people have suggested maybe I was nudged over by a car. :/

I'm going to look back and laugh at it, I hope, provided my face corrects itself and I don't have to have my nose re-set.. But the experience is a pretty scary one, in some ways I'm lucky this is the worst that happened.. Anything could have. We don't even know what did ("Have you been interfered with?" - one of my Mum's first questions after I phoned her ^^)

I've never had an experience like this, I'm not a "lout" to quote my Mum, I've drunk that much before and I know the area like the back of my hand, but clearly my tolerance was as FUBAR-ed as I was. I've seen friends of mine far more fucked up and been fine - bad luck definitely has a part to play - but I'm going to be playing it much more carefully in the future. Stupid boy. Actions have consequences.

Has anyone else had any dicey experiences or sustained interesting injuries whilst under the influence ?

Please share

The thing that's bugging me most: I have a date with a nice looking girl next week.

F. U. C. K.

 

[soze]

I have had nights like that but I tend to fall asleep so injuries are minor the worst I had was about 60 thorns pulled out of my back, that's what falling off a wall and sleeping in a bush does for you. But despite nights like these being the minority they are always the first thing I remember which sucks I wish i could laugh at myself and forget them.

 

[Tuthmes]

Wet pinky vinger and a huge cock + extra's drawn on my face. Took me halve a day to figure out that people where smiling at me for the wrong reasons. My ego has bin hurt and broken aswell. More then once really. I consider all these to be injuries btw!

 

[Mabs]

pics imo !

 

[Wazzerphuk]

Bad luck never plays a part in stories like this. Idiocy though....

 

[opticle]

Bad luck never plays a part in stories like this. Idiocy though....

Hehe, shush Fair point, though I out of my friends I am definitely up there as one of the better behaved, and we're all (relatively) well behaved to start with - we're no footie hooligans or chavs - this started out identical to any of a hundred other nights.

I'll think about pics, though my pride is still smarting enough for the time being.

Tuthmes - ego hurt and broken? I feel your pain Trust me !

 

[old.user4556]

This thread is going to become a pissing contest.

 

[Scouse]

I can piss really high up the wall. Like, above my head, easily.

How high can you piss?

 

[BloodOmen]

I went to a party when I was 17 or so, drank a whole crate of stella to myself, went on a mad rampage got pushed around in a wheel barrow all night, got pissed on, murdered a sheep with a plank of wood (allegedly), tried to lamp a ginger lad with a steel pole, tried to padlock people in tents... it was a memorable night.

 

[Job]

I never get blind drunk, no matter how utterly shit faced I am, I don't wobble or lose my senses, I can drink 15 rum and cokes and talk to someone and they think I'm sober, quite often sick though, usually just comes over me and I just find the bogs, throw it up and start again.
So no, I've never woken up not knowing what I did or strangely injured (apart from me seizure).

 

[Shagrat]

Worst I've ever done is go through all the whiskey optics when my brother in law opened his restaurant. (we were deciding which one we liked the best).

I only remember the first half of the optics, apparently I sat at the bar all night having conversations with everyone who came in and was very chatty (but not drunk sounding), after it closed I was wandering around the rooms upstairs naked (staff etc had rooms above the restaurant, managed to fall down the stairs before the missus made me go back to bed....

I don't think I've ever been drunk enough to not remember other than that, I generally know when I've had enough and switch to something non-alcoholic.

 

[opticle]

This thread is going to become a pissing contest.

How does that make it different to almost any other thread?

I suppose depending on how you look at it, that was the idea.

I guess I just wanted to highlight that I am, apparently, capable of being a complete tool - who is now slightly scared of BloodOmen.

 

[Raven]

I ran full pelt into an oak door frame once, catching me knee on it, nice big chip out my knee cap, thought I had broken it. I knew all about that though, worst pain ever.

 

[soze]

I went to bed at 8pm one night after playing the door number game. Label 10 bottles 0-9 and take a shot of each that appears in your door number. I did not get black out drunk but i felt so sick that I went to bed, shots really do not agree with me. And tequila makes me violently sick (both times I tried).

 

[Ormorof]

for any serious injury i tend to remember how it happened

uncountable number of mysterious bruises and such though, i once woke up with scratches all over my face, apparently i fell in a bush -a friend of mine informed me that he was peeing on said bush and i attempted to push him leading to both of us falling face first into a big old thorn bus

 

[Cerb]

When I was 17 I got pissed and knocked out most of 2 teeth trying to leapfrog a pedestrianized street barrier. I was a fucking idiot!

 

[opticle]

Heh. Leapfrog is a dangerous game under the influence - my cousin tore both his cruciates and his achilles tendon playing it when he was drunk - all he did was land badly. He was quite a big sportsman, its 10 years on and he'll never be able to run again. That's bad luck if you ask me.

Apparently the stupid-when-drunk thing runs in the family

 

[pikeh]

Tumbled face first down outside concrete steps, knocking myself out cold for 4 hours or so, my mates didn't help because they had just thought I'd fallen asleep :s
lumpy head next morning, to say the least.

 

[Tuthmes]

On a return trip from the bar I once set fire to the contents of this container:

​

Wasnt that much inside and I closed the lit (I'm a nice fella). The next morning I go to my m8 who I was with that evening. We split up before we left (he wanted to smoke a blunt, I wanted to hit the sack). He hade his hands in bandage. When I asked him wtf happend to him, he mentioned something about opening a container. ​

​

Also left a frying pan on. A friend called and asked if I could set it on the stove. Which I did. Dosed off on the sofa and 30 min later I woke up. Decided I hade enough and that he wouldnt come to my place (he never did in the end). I woke up with 2 of my friends standing on me gasping for air through the window. I slept in the attic and the whole room was filled with smoke (couldnt see a hand before your face). To make a long story short I was smart enough to put a lit on (flames already in the pan). My mother never bothered to wake me up (did turn down the gas), cause she was calling the cat.​

 

[Job]

Remembered one, I was running with my mates back from Quadrant park, in driving snow and I had ny hands jammed in my pockets to keep them warm when I tripped and didn't get my hands out of my pockets , so I fell flat on my face and slid along for about 20 ft until my head hit a barrier.
I was that cold and pissed, I couldn't get my arms from underneath me to get my hands out , so I had to call out a muffled help through the snow piled around my head.
But they couldn't help because the hilarity of the event had left them practically paralysed with laughing, until some passing woman helped me up, no injuries, I just looked like a the front half of a snowman.

 

[TdC]

tried to step over a fence, in the dark. didn't lift my foot high enough to step up and did a standing face plant against the concrete fence post - drink

bounced my moped off the road and slammed my leg down a rabbit hole breaking all the metatarsals in my right foot. did not realize that, drove home. woke up the next day and only realized what happened when I tried to walk down the stairs. - drink

waved my hand around enthusiastically and tapped it lightly against a table by accident -or so I thought- breaking my right pinkie and two metacarpals - drink

misstepped getting on my bike and broke my right heel, massive cork-screw fracture of my leg bone, and my shin bone requiring immediate emergency surgery, titanium plates in my leg leaving me with a permanent limp. - drink

misjudged a turn while on a souped up moped. went off the road towards a fence. tried to slide it but got my leg caught and it dragged me under a barbed wire fence. - drugs

while tripping my nuts off I thought it would be a good idea to close my eyes for a minute...while on a souped up moped doing 130kph on a 1 meter wide bike path. woke up in a field after going over a fence and cartwheeling about 30 meters. broken collarbone, severe concussion. - drugs


drink 4 - drugs 2. both generally a bad idea when combined with wheeled things. pissing contest? more pissing on my own feet tbh.

 

[Wazzerphuk]

Which drugs?

And they sound more moped related than drug related tbh.

 

[TdC]

like I said, both drink and drugs are generally bad to combine with things that move quickly. I rode mopeds and ride bikes for most days of my life, and the only times I've ever had accidents was when either drunk or on drugs. As to which drugs, I really don't care to say: I stopped doing that stuff a while ago.


oh ,I lied: once had a sober accident on a bike when a car backed in to me. the woman had pulled on to a crossing, and for reasons unknown decided to put the car in reverse and pull back while I was biking past. as the move was completely unexpected, she managed to hit me.

 

[Wazzerphuk]

See? Nothing to do with the drugs.

 

[Shagrat]

friggin hell man, mopeds and hallucinogenics, im surprised your still alive.......

I remember being a passenger in a car with an ex mate who was off his head, thats bad enough, driving home along country roads at night and he turned the lights off because "I have the eyes of an owl now", and then later, with the lights back on, began swerving from side to side to avoid the furry things that were running across the road....

thats the first and last time I ever got in a car with someone who has been anywhere near drugs, or drink for that matter.

 

[Punishment]

Once a taxi left me home and i proceeded to get out and sleep in the middle of the road for 30 minutes until my mother wondered where i was and came out to find me fast asleep, since then i don't get senseless drunk i generally end up looking after the bastards

 

[SilverHood]

Was boozing with a mate who I don't get to see often after work, so had a couple of big jugs of Bavarian lager with no dinner. Straight to a friends birthday party for 8PM at some Russian vodka bar, where the entire upper floor was rented for us. I was one of the early ones, so bought the birthday girl a drink, chatted for a bit, a few more drinks, some shots. Then I black out.... and wake up 12 hours later in bed, which is a 60 minute train ride away. My arms are battered, and I have bruises all up and down my leg. I have a train ticket that said 12.34 AM. But still had wallet, phone, keys and cash, so wasn't robbed.

I start making calls.... I was put in a cab at 9.30. It's a 10 minute journey to Grand Central. What happened in between? I will never know, but I promised myself never to get in that state again!

Then maybe a year later.... I stumble down stairs at Grand Central while only slightly drunk. Didn't hurt too badly at the time, but when I woke up, I had some familiar bruises on my arms and legs!

 

[TdC]

See? Nothing to do with the drugs.

at the time I didn't ask her what she was on

 

[TdC]

friggin hell man, mopeds and hallucinogenics, im surprised your still alive.......

I've mellowed out a lot. My current idea of high adventure (cough) is having to jog a few steps to catch a train when the whistle blows

 

[old.Tohtori]

A lot of adventures, good, bad, weird, scary, hazy, blacked out and otherwise. Best not to let it change your ways as it will happen again

Never really had anything major(still alive) happen, bumps, cuts and bruises heal and ego is over-rated as everyone is a moron drunk. Well, not always, but mostly silly.

Then again as a Finn i guess my "nothing major" relates to "stabbed and left in a roadwork ditch"