Why is disliking babies such a tabo?

[old.Tohtori]

You mean cutting them off? Thats the only sure way to make sure, vasectomy or what ever is called is not fool proof. So no more teabaging for you...

Same % as with a condom, so it's enough "fool proof".

 

[ECA]

Ah pregnancy and children, is there nothing in life that cannot be solved by a

Spoiler

 

[Zenith.UK]

I shared your opinion for many years Toht.

When my g/f got pregnant, I wasn't thinking like a dad, even when my daughter turned up. I didn't "take" to her at all until she was almost 3 and acquired a personality.

When #2 turned up, I could take to her more easily because of the practice of being a dad with my first one.

When #3 turned up, I took to him just as easily as #2 because once again I had practice at being a dad.

It's cliche to say it, but becoming a parent yourself really does change your opinion about many things.

When #2 throws a strop or a tantrum in a public place, I just stand over her, fold my arms and wait for her to finish. People give me filthy looks along the lines of "Why isn't he doing anything?"
I am doing something... I'm making sure that she doesn't hurt herself throwing arms and legs around. 3yr old kids act up because they're trying it on and testing their parent's limits.
If I grabbed her wrist, yanked her to her feet and dragged her screaming out of the store, there would be just as many filthy looks.
You're damned if you do, damned if you don't... so I don't care what others think of my children's behaviour any more. As long as they grow up to be polite, respectful and well adjusted, I can't really ask for much more.


And Bill Hicks was speaking the truth about "all my little miracles... thonk!"

 

[old.Tohtori]

It's cliche to say it, but becoming a parent yourself really does change your opinion about many things.

I sort of hate that line, simply because it's such a cop-out by many(not you per say) parents.

It's rather arrogant to assume i would change my mind, because it's a personal thing afterall.

Don't get me wrong, great that it worked for you and based on that "kid crying, not "doing" anything" example shows that you're my kind of a parent, just dislike the cliché because it's often used as a cop-out when parents don't like what they hear.

Much like any person who doesn't understand that not all 6 billion people are alike

NEver understood why someone would feel any different from one baby to another, simply due to having it made out of your own sperm. Unless ofcourse guilt and responsibility aren't taken into consideration, you know; "F*ck me i have to take care of that!"

 

[TdC]

It's rather arrogant to assume i would change my mind, because it's a personal thing afterall.

no offence, but imo it's equally arrogant to assume you won't

 

[Lamp]

No matter if you're the best parent in the world, and the kindest person alive who can see adorable innocence in every child's face, you can't rub any of that goodness into someone else's personality. If Toto doesn't like kids or want to have any, its his call and you gotta respect his views. Whether they will change in X years time is another matter.

 

[old.Tohtori]

no offence, but imo it's equally arrogant to assume you won't

None taken, but it's a moot point as i'm not going to have any

Maybe some magical being might wave a lovewand at my genitals and make that sperm special, but there's a 99.9% chanc i'd treat my own kid the same way i'd treat any kid.

Only difference being the time. Lots of time.

No matter if you're the best parent in the world, and the kindest person alive who can see adorable innocence in every child's face, you can't rub any of that goodness into someone else's personality. If Toto doesn't like kids or want to have any, its his call and you gotta respect his views. Whether they will change in X years time is another matter.

I wouldn't go as far as say that i don't like them, just find them pointless before a certain age. Thans for that though.

Own kid is a thing i've decided on a long while back and it hasn't faltered even in the face of females apcking their bags and leaving due to it. Everything is possible, but it would require something bigger then jesus or falling in love...maybe a head injury?

 

[Bahumat]

You say; I don't like children.

You get, 9 out of 10 times, pummeled.

But you're going against the grain Tohtori. Most people like babies, so when you say you do not...they will be curious, and a little shocked no doubt.

More if you say you think they're useless until the age they can wipe their own arse and inform you that there is no arsewiping material.

Oh come on Tohtori you know EXACTLY what sort of reaction this response will get you from Joe Public.

 

[Bahumat]

Just like millions of other people who don't want kids...

There's enough homeless kids out there, i don't need to make more children until the day every kid has a home.

If i want kids, i'll adopt, pure and simple.

Hi Bill Hicks, how's death treating you?

 

[old.Tohtori]

Oh come on Tohtori you know EXACTLY what sort of reaction this response will get you from Joe Public.

Oh i know, but it's no different then the other side of the coin where a grown man turns into a ooglygoogly whimp-pot and thinks the little socks and bottles are the cuuuuuuutest thing in the world!!!

Urrgh...

Oh and Bill Hicks? I'm honored...i think

 

[Zenith.UK]

Own kid is a thing i've decided on a long while back and it hasn't faltered even in the face of females apcking their bags and leaving due to it. Everything is possible, but it would require something bigger then jesus or falling in love...maybe a head injury?

You can never say never.
I was insistent that I wasn't going to be a dad and took steps. No method of contraception is 100% effective though and accidents can happen. None of my 3 were planned, but I take consolation in the fact that they all have the same parents.

 

[old.Tohtori]

You can never say never.
I was insistent that I wasn't going to be a dad and took steps. No method of contraception is 100% effective though and accidents can happen. None of my 3 were planned, but I take consolation in the fact that they all have the same parents.

I can say i never want my own kids. If accidents hapen, that's another deal for another moment.

There are other options.

Not to mention that if i do hook up with someone on long term, it's a clear cut choice i'll make clear frmo the get-go if talk of kids comes to play.

I'd like to go for the dad option, just not my own kid.

 

[Calaen]

You clearly will never understand Toh. And in my own opinion it is your loss.

My daughter is only turned two, she can run, climb, talk and eat by herself and most importantly she makes me laugh, everyday single day she has made me laugh and smile, and the pride I feel when she does something off her own back, like answering the phone and saying hello, cannot be described or understood by someone that has never had it.

Sure you can imagine you know what something might feel like but that's not feeling it.

What you never have, you never miss? I know from personal experience that while you might not know what you are missing out on, you are definately missing out.

 

[old.Tohtori]

What you never have, you never miss? I know from personal experience that while you might not know what you are missing out on, you are definately missing out.

In your world.

As i've always told you.

If i was you, i would be missing out, but i'm not.

Would you feel that pride(etc) with someone who's adopted?

You though are the pinnacle of a case in point, everyone who doesn't love babies and want to get a family is clearly wrong

 

[Thorwyn]

Didn´t read the entire thread, so sorry if this has been said before...

I don´t think that disliking babies is a taboo as such. I think it´s just an opinion that provokes social antagonism. The key here is, that babies are helpless and need protection and care to survive. And by disliking them, you basically say that you´re not willing to give them what they need.
It´s similar to saying "I don´t like handicapped people, because they´re not doing anything and just cause trouble".

 

[old.Tohtori]

Didn´t read the entire thread, so sorry if this has been said before...

I don´t think that disliking babies is a taboo as such. I think it´s just an opinion that provokes social antagonism. The key here is, that babies are helpless and need protection and care to survive. And by disliking them, you basically say that you´re not willing to give them what they need.
It´s similar to saying "I don´t like handicapped people, because they´re not doing anything and just cause trouble".

I actually think handicapped people should be treated like anyone else.

that means no bonus points from me.

If you're in a wheelchair, i won't wait. I can help you up some stairs if need be, but that's about it.

that is usually taken as "you hate handicapped people!", when infact it's just what they ask for.

What you said though is true, and point exactly. Somehow it's mandatory to like something that you shouldn't be forced to.

Don't get me started on me having to step out of the way of baby carriers etc

Hmm, just dawned to me that i might be, in good AND bad, a full equalist. Women, men, age, race, old, young, handicapped etc etc etc, i treat everyone the same.

 

[Thorwyn]

Hmm, just dawned to me that i might be, in good AND bad, a full equalist. Women, men, age, race, old, young, handicapped etc etc etc, i treat everyone the same.

Well.. actually....
No, you don´t. You stated earlier, that you don´t like babies, so you´re not treating them the same, or are you drawing a line between "don´t like" and "treat equally"? I don´t think that´s possible.

 

[old.Tohtori]

Well.. actually....
No, you don´t. You stated earlier, that you don´t like babies, so you´re not treating them the same, or are you drawing a line between "don´t like" and "treat equally"? I don´t think that´s possible.

Like i said, children below 3. Mostly useless and they can't be treated equally.

That doesn't mean i hate them, or even dislike them, i just don't find them of any use(besides future prospect). In other words, they don't mean anything. I can talk to a baby, but since it doesn't talk back, why bother. Just like if someone adult wouldn't talk to me.

I didn't btw say i don't like babies, it was merely an example on the first post.

 

[Lethul]

I think Ch3tan hit the nail on the head!

 

[Ingafgrinn Macabre]

I think Ch3tan hit the nail on the head!

quote button??

 

[Calaen]

I didn't btw say i don't like babies, it was merely an example on the first post.

Yet everything you have posted since suggests this is the case.

As to your main post, I doubt many people have a problem with it, I myself don't give a shit about you saying you dislike kids, but your so called reasons for doing are really shallow, and it always appears that unless there is something guaranteed in it for you, that you want nothing to do with it.

Your under three comment for example shows just how little you actually understand children, my daughter can say the alphabet from start to finish and count to 20. I think it boils down to you being scared of something you don't understand and acting in a typically human fashion, people often dislike things they don't understand! You cradle everything into the same basket then complain when people stereotype.

 

[old.Tohtori]

Yet everything you have posted since suggests this is the case.

As to your main post, I doubt many people have a problem with it, I myself don't give a shit about you saying you dislike kids, but your so called reasons for doing are really shallow, and it always appears that unless there is something guaranteed in it for you, that you want nothing to do with it.

Your under three comment for example shows just how little you actually understand children, my daughter can say the alphabet from start to finish and count to 20. I think it boils down to you being scared of something you don't understand and acting in a typically human fashion, people often dislike things they don't understand! You cradle everything into the same basket then complain when people stereotype.

Funny, that's the exact "parent response" i was talking about. Even if someone doesn't hate babies, you think they do if they don't think like you

You don't have a problem with it, but in come the psychological reasonings and outright blames

 

[Calaen]

Hate is a very strong word.

Why would anyone hate something/anything for no real reason?

It's not a typical parent response, you are trying to tell me that kids under three provide no stimulation to an adult, I am giving you facts to prove otherwise.

 

[Hawkwind]

Wait till you have your own or a you become an uncle

I think when people say they HATE babies - its the irrationality of hating something so innocent that is virtually impossible to empathise with. How can you hate (where hate is way, way, way beyond merely disliking) something that is so innocent ? Disliking is one thing - they're messy, noisy, smelly, unsociable, etc etc, but hating ?

Not only irrational it goes against millions of years of evolution. We are basically preprogrammed to like babies. The chubby little faces with big doe eyes. They are supposed to bring out nurturing instincts in us. A psycologist would have a field day with anyone that actually can't stand them, probably borderline sociopathic!

 

[old.Tohtori]

Hate is a very strong word.

Why would anyone hate something/anything for no real reason?

It's not a typical parent response, you are trying to tell me that kids under three provide no stimulation to an adult, I am giving you facts to prove otherwise.

Again, never said i hate kids.

Also never said that they don't stimulate ANY adult. Was talking about myself.

Oh you and your twisting

Nice try though.

 

[Talivar]

You are coming across like you are trying your hardest to be differant, Not saying you are ofc just that it feels like you hate being part of the masses and will do what you can and say what you can to maintain this image of independant thought. Which is fine by me but you do have to accept you are going against evolution and thats a fight very few can win. Do you always buy food pre made or get take aways ? because cooking food from scratch must be pointless as the food has no purpose till its ready to be eaten ect.
When you tell people your views on children they react the way they do because its a way of protecting thier young, they dont know you so you are just a stranger who seems to dislike children, how deep does this dislike go? is it dangerous?, they dont know the answers so therefor become wary.
9/10 times the reasons for not liking children are harmless but the human nurturing instinct is always wary incase the reasons are the 1/10 ect.
Again though this all just my own interpretation of how i presume or think people may react the way they do.
On a side note though i think people that seem way to curious about our children also set of alarm bells, so maybe we just paranoid as a species

 

[Lamp]

Everyone goes against the grain at some time in their life. Some are permanent anarchists, but most end up mellowing out at they get older and realise whats important. Some of the people I knew when they were 18 were animals...bumped into one the other day - he's pushing 40, a qualified architect, married, 3 kids, softly spoken, almost unrecognisable now.

 

[Yoni]

I'm not a fan of children under 6 months as they don't really do anything apart from eat, wee, shit, cry and maybe smile or get wind and create a fake smile

I can interact with children very naturally and occasionally I feel a bit maternal but then I selfishly think of everything I would have to give up and the feeling goes away.

Those who are parents are quite right in their views that unless you have one of your own you will never appreciate how wondrous they can be... so many of my friends are parents now (some have been for a long time) and I hear the same thing from them... oh Laura you are missing out on so much etc etc etc... then I think about the life I have and what I would have to give up and I feel that they are also missing out on things I can do and they can't.

Its all about life choices... I am not say that I will never want to be a mum and adopt (although that will never happen naturally... barren old biddy that I am) it is just at this moment I am not responsible enough......

One thing I know is though I dont 'hate' babies... however I don't appreciate them screaming their little lungs out on a bus / train .... yesterday I wanted to murder one... its scream was right at that pitch which makes me see red and think about doing abhorrent things

 

[old.Tohtori]

You are coming across like you are trying your hardest to be differant, Not saying you are ofc just that it feels like you hate being part of the masses and will do what you can and say what you can to maintain this image of independant thought. Which is fine by me but you do have to accept you are going against evolution and thats a fight very few can win. Do you always buy food pre made or get take aways ? because cooking food from scratch must be pointless as the food has no purpose till its ready to be eaten ect.

It's simply an opinion or how i think, it's ofcourse only human to question it like you do, to give it that celestial "why" reasoning

Cooking food has two purposes; It's enjoyable to do so and it creates better food.

I never did say i judge others for liking children, which many here seem to forget

When you tell people your views on children they react the way they do because its a way of protecting thier young, they dont know you so you are just a stranger who seems to dislike children, how deep does this dislike go? is it dangerous?, they dont know the answers so therefor become wary.

That is a most excellent answer, thank you for that, actually gives it a reason and makes it logical. Now i can take that into consideration, sooth their minds so to speak and show "i'm nto trying to eat your baby"

 

[Calaen]

I'm not a fan of children under 6 months as they don't really do anything apart from eat, wee, shit, cry and maybe smile or get wind and create a fake smile

I can interact with children very naturally and occasionally I feel a bit maternal but then I selfishly think of everything I would have to give up and the feeling goes away.

Those who are parents are quite right in their views that unless you have one of your own you will never appreciate how wondrous they can be... so many of my friends are parents now (some have been for a long time) and I hear the same thing from them... oh Laura you are missing out on so much etc etc etc... then I think about the life I have and what I would have to give up and I feel that they are also missing out on things I can do and they can't.

Its all about life choices... I am not say that I will never want to be a mum and adopt (although that will never happen naturally... barren old biddy that I am) it is just at this moment I am not responsible enough......

One thing I know is though I dont 'hate' babies... however I don't appreciate them screaming their little lungs out on a bus / train .... yesterday I wanted to murder one... its scream was right at that pitch which makes me see red and think about doing abhorrent things

Can I ask Yoni what you would have to give up?