Trapped air is driving me insane

[Bugz]

I'm getting trapped air in my body all the time and it's making my life hell. I'm booking up for a doctor's appointment tomorrow but I imagine I won't be seen till later this week or early next week so I thought I'd ask if anyone has any remedies for this.

Basically, it feels like a burp that never occurs and I'll get it after eating any kind of food or drink, be it fizzy or even water. Sometimes, I even get it just after waking up.

I've tried all the textbook remedies like 'eat and drink slowly - sit upright when you drink & eat' and so on but this fuckin thing won't go away.

It's so uncomfortable I can't work when it's happening and I'm writing this now whilst haivng the urge to punch myself in the stomach in the hope a huge air bubble will come out and everything will be find...

Anywho -> remedies until mr.doctor says i'm fucked please

 

[tris-]

have you farted or had a shit latley?

 

[Lamp]

Don't listen to any medical advice given by anyone in Off Topic.

Half the people here aren't even qualified to point to their own head. The other half are too busy masturbating to Pro Evolution Soccer to hear the question.

 

[tris-]

Don't listen to any medical advice given by anyone here.

Half the people here aren't even qualified to point to their own head.

yes but bugz makes a post like this every month or two, im sure he knows of the usual disclaimer.

imo, you need to eat 10 beetroots while standing with your head submerged in water. should cure it right up.

 

[Bugz]

Don't listen to any medical advice given by anyone here.

Half the people here aren't even qualified to point to their own head.

I've tried the medical advice on the interweb and it's a load of bollocks.

i was hoping for some wtf-home-natural-remedy that will make all my problems disappear

yes but bugz makes a post like this every month or two, im sure he knows of the usual disclaimer.

Every 3-4 months tbh

 

[Laddey]

Don't listen to any medical advice given by anyone in Off Topic.

Some of the stuff in OT has actually helped me in real life. CoRnOxZ gave me advice on losing my virginity once!

 

[Lamp]

But that wasn't medical advice.

If you had a stomach ache, and someone on the forum suggested drinking a litre of vodka then cutting yourself open and have a root around in your abdomen to see if there are any aliens there, you wouldn't do it, would you ?

Would you ??

 

[Dukat]

But that wasn't medical advice.

If you had a stomach ache, and someone on the forum suggested drinking a litre of vodka then cutting yourself open and have a root around in your abdomen to see if there are any aliens there, you wouldn't do it, would you ?

Would you ??

Depends if they had qualifications in head-pointing or not! OBVIOUSLY!

-->

 

[Laddey]

But that wasn't medical advice.

If you had a stomach ache, and someone on the forum suggested drinking a litre of vodka then cutting yourself open and have a root around in your abdomen to see if there are any aliens there, you wouldn't do it, would you ?

Would you ??

Only if you told me to, great one !

 

[Mikah75]

are you bloated too? cos if its that pharmacy have stuff for that im pretty sure just go ask
also! that activia yoghurt that those ladies swear by prob bullshit but hey..

 

[tris-]

probiotics have been found to work i think, but might be better buying them in a tablet format so you get enough.

 

[Lamp]

Have you swallowed a Soda Stream ?

 

[Congax]

Have you tried downing a bottle of Vodka and then cutting yourself open? That ought to release the gas.

 

[Arumos]

As someone mentioned already, best bet is to go to your local pharmacy, charcoal is apparantly very good for trapped air, cant remember the name of the product from the top of my head tho, altho its sold behind the counter and is a little yellow/black box! so you'll have to ask.

 

[Nate]

Dr. Nate at your service.

Hmm, sit down on the chair please. Ok so I hear your having some problems with your "trapped" "air", I'd like you to stand up, bend over and squeeze a very loud fart out. Don't worry if you follow through, Mandy here will have a bucket ready..won't you Mandy. I've got a gripping post if you require it, ok off you go.

 

[Huntingtons]

Don't listen to any medical advice given by anyone in Off Topic.

Half the people here aren't even qualified to point to their own head. The other half are too busy masturbating to Pro Evolution Soccer to hear the question.

so basically you're saying all the football suckers on the forum are doctors? im hurt

 

[CorNokZ]

Some of the stuff in OT has actually helped me in real life. CoRnOxZ gave me advice on losing my virginity once!

What did I tell you?

I'm honored by the way

 

[Vladamir]

Don't listen to any medical advice given by anyone in Off Topic.

Half the people here aren't even qualified to point to their own head. The other half are too busy masturbating to Pro Evolution Soccer to hear the question.

Sorry what did you say? I was busy wanking over the awesome volley i scored

 

[Bahumat]

Just have a mega wank all over a policeman.

 

[Mikah75]

yeh, just do that

 

[old.Tohtori]

Well, a "home" remedy is to swallow air. Swallowing air let's you burp it right out, and then the trapped air has a way to come out.

But, to keep it off-topisque:

This "trapped air" thing comes most likely from being a prissy princess and not burping/farting younger.

 

[tris-]

Just have a mega wank all over a policeman.

lol and lolx2 at nate

thats 3, count em THREE lols.

 

[Bahumat]

lol and lolx2 at nate

thats 3, count em THREE lols.

Tis like christmas all over again!

 

[Imgormiel]

Try any of the following, after this it's impossible not to fart/burp :-

Anything with pulses ie peas, soup, beans
Pea wack soup - always teh win for farting
Curry
Good pasta with lots of onions
Any meal with lots of onions tbh
Indian curry
Some chinese meals, ie foo yung
Bean sprouts
Salad (surprisingly)

I doubt you will fail to keep the air in after that

 

[pikeh]

i give this thread 10/10

 

[Imgormiel]

i give this thread 10/10

I gifv u 0/10 we want entertainment in reply's, reps well you know where the button is

 

[Cromcruaich]

probiotics have been found to work i think, but might be better buying them in a tablet format so you get enough.

Probi fuckin otics. What a load of balls. Designed to catch consumers. Completely ridiculous - no proper scientific basis - and all the bacteria will be killed as soon as they enter the stomach.

What a load of tosh.

Its worse than Garnier quoting skin research from the British Skin Foundation - to which they dontate over 50% of its revenue.

Worse sort of pseudo science.

 

[Rubric]

Have a wank, i always fart after orgasm.

If that doesn't work its probably cancer.

 

[tris-]

Probi fuckin otics. What a load of balls. Designed to catch consumers. Completely ridiculous - no proper scientific basis - and all the bacteria will be killed as soon as they enter the stomach.

pretty sure i read a study that said they do work in large enough quantities.

 

[Cromcruaich]

pretty sure i read a study that said they do work in large enough quantities.

Probably funded by danone. If you can show me some proper independant peer reviewed scientific research then i'd be happy to read it over.

Almost all of the bacteria will die when they hit the stomach acid, and even those that dont wont be able to compete against and so displace the current gut flora and fauna.

But what a way to sell milk thats gone off eh?