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[dysfunction]

No Teeds. Just no.

 

[Shagrat]

someone call the fashion police we have a 645 in progress

 

[rynnor]

Oh and the new pope is half Italian so not such an enormous change...

 

[Overdriven]

Mind you, I do mop up a bit of the fat so it's not -that- bad

What? No. Just no. Dinner tonight was as following:

- Cook 4x god creatures in oil.
- Cut up 4x god creatures to smaller bits.
- Whisk 4 eggs and add a little salt.
- Add 100g~ of mixed Mozzarella and Cheddar
- Whisk together
- Add to god creatures and make an omelette du fromage et bacon

 

[caLLous]

POPE CHOSEN: Pope Francis, in his first words after election, says his fellow cardinals "went to the end of the world" to find a new Pope

I thought it said "want to end the world" at first glance. :\

 

[Ch3tan]

I thought it said "want to end the world". :\

That's funny, cause I thought they went to Rome. You learn something new everyday.

 

[Job]

Same shit, different pope.

 

[old.Tohtori]

So if the pope always changes, but issues never do, can we assume the pope has as much power as the paper i wipe my bum with and not bother blaming him for everything this time around?

Actually that's not really true, the paper actually cleans something.

 

[Job]

You just need to clear in your mind what the Roman catholic church is
and then you can use that information to predict it's response to
everything in the world.

 

[Gwadien]

Ever since the Borgias, the title 'Pope' was one that was practically bought.

 

[caLLous]

 

[Shagrat]

ouch!

 

[TdC]

that would never happen if you were filling up a high class prostitute at the petrol station!

 

[Punishment]

Someone got Novataken

 

[dysfunction]

Oh not a nova silly joke.

 

[Job]

The Aston was written off as well..which is one of the reasons insurance is so expensive...its not economically viable to repair modern cars with the smallest of damage

 

[DaGaffer]

The Aston was written off as well..which is one of the reasons insurance is so expensive...its not economically viable to repair modern cars with the smallest of damage

The Aston might be written off, in the opinion of its owner. Not quite the same thing.

 

[old.Tohtori]

that would never happen if you were filling up a high class prostitute at the petrol station!

Don't be silly. Majority of high class prostitutes, or even low class, don't work at petrol stations. Especially in the UK where it's legal, but kurb crawling and pimping(etc) is not.

 

[CorNokZ]

A young salesman from Texas walks into an LA department store applying for a sales position.

- Is this something you have tried before? Asks the department manager
- Oh yeah! Back in Texas I was a Super Seller!
- Great! You start tomorrow morning and by the end of the day I'll come around to see how your day went.

The next day around closing time the department manager comes down and asks:

- "So, how many customers did you have today?"
- "Just one.."
- "That wasn't a lot! Our personnel usually have 20 to 30 customers a day. How much did you sell for?"
- "429,311 Dollars" Replied the young salesman
- "Wow! What did you sell?" Asks the baffled manager
- "well at first I sold him a small fishing hook, and afterwards a bigger one. Then I sold him a two-handed carbon fiber rod with wheel and line. Then I asked him where he was going fishing, to which he said that he'd be out on the open ocean. So I sold him a speed boat with two 180-bhp engines, but he didn't think that his Honda Civic would be able to pull the boat, so I took him over to the auto-mobile department and sold him a 4WD Mercedes."

The department manager yelled out in euforia:
- "You are telling me that he came in to buy fishing hooks and you ended up selling him both a car AND a boat!?"

- "No no, it was nothing like that.. He came in to buy some pads for his wife, and I told him, that since the weekend is already ruined, he'd might as well go fishing.."

 

[BloodOmen]

 

[old.Tohtori]

Well that is one damn fine amv.

 

[mooSe_]

http://m.soundcloud.com/kcclips/hetfield-grunts

 

[Wazzerphuk]

http://www.thisisdevon.co.uk/Man-tr...tory-18137026-detail/story.html#axzz2Ku10WhjP

 

[Wazzerphuk]

http://metro.co.uk/2013/03/14/fox-marks-womens-history-month-with-lingering-shots-of-boobs-3542033/

 

[Wazzerphuk]

South West Trains had a new excuse for late trains today.

A motherfucking LAND MINE. What. The Fuck. In North Sheen!?

 

[caLLous]

 

[BloodOmen]

Its a bit of a long read but its sooo worth it.

The comments are not mine, they belong to the original poster of the dialogue.

quote:
* bitchchecker (~java@euirc-a97f9137.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)
* bitchchecker (~java@euirc-61a2169c.dip.t-dialin.net) has joined #stopHipHop
<bitchchecker> why do you kick me
<bitchchecker> can’t you discus normally
<bitchchecker> answer!
<Elch> we didn’t kick you
<Elch> you had a ping timeout: * bitchchecker (~java@euirc-a97f9137.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)
<bitchchecker> what ping man
<bitchchecker> the timing of my pc is right
<bitchchecker> i even have dst
<bitchchecker> you banned me
<bitchchecker> amit it you son of a bitch
<HopperHunter|afk> LOL
<HopperHunter|afk> shit you’re stupid, DST^^
<bitchchecker> shut your mouth WE HAVE DST!
<bitchchecker> for two weaks already
<bitchchecker> when you start your pc there is a message from windows that DST is applied.
<Elch> You’re a real computer expert
<bitchchecker> shut up i hack you
<Elch> ok, i’m quiet, hope you don’t show us how good a hacker you are ^^
<bitchchecker> tell me your network number man then you’re dead
<Elch> Eh, it’s 129.0.0.1
<Elch> or maybe 127.0.0.1
<Elch> yes exactly that’s it: 127.0.0.1 I’m waiting for you great attack
<bitchchecker> in five minutes your hard drive is deleted
<Elch> Now I’m frightened
<bitchchecker> shut up you’ll be gone
<bitchchecker> i have a program where i enter your ip and you’re dead
<bitchchecker> say goodbye
<Elch> to whom?
<bitchchecker> to you man
<bitchchecker> buy buy
<Elch> I’m shivering thinking about such great Hack0rs like you
* bitchchecker (~java@euirc-61a2169c.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)​

What happened is clear: That guy entered his own IP-Adress in his mighty Hack-Tool and crashed his own PC. This way, the attack on my PC was a failure. I was already starting to think that I did not have to worry, but a good hacker never calls it a day. Two minutes later he returned.

quote:
* bitchchecker (~java@euirc-b5cd558e.dip.t-dialin.net) has joined #stopHipHop
<bitchchecker> dude be happy my pc crashed otherwise you’d be gone
<Metanot> lol
<Elch> bitchchecker: Then try hacking me again… I still have the same IP: 127.0.0.1
<bitchchecker> you’re so stupid man
<bitchchecker> say buy buy
<Metanot> ah, [Please control your cussing] off
<bitchchecker> buy buy elch
* bitchchecker (~java@euirc-b5cd558e.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)​

There was a tension in the room… Would he manage, after these two failures, to crash my PC? I waited. Nothing happened. I felt relieve… Six minutes passed by until he prepared the next wave of attack. Being a Hacker, who usually cracks whole data centers, he knew what his problem was now.

quote:
* bitchchecker (~java@euirc-9ff3c180.dip.t-dialin.net) has joined #stopHipHop
<bitchchecker> elch you son of a bitch
<Metanot> bitchchecker how old are you?
<Elch> What’s up bitchchecker?
<bitchchecker> you have a frie wal
<bitchchecker> fire wall
<Elch> maybe, i don’t know
<bitchchecker> i’m 26
<Metanot> such behaviour with 26?
<Elch> how did you find out that I have a firewall?
<Metanot> tststs this is not very nice missy
<bitchchecker> because your gay fire wall directed my turn off signal back to me
<bitchchecker> be a man turn that shit off
<Elch> cool, didn’t know this was possible.
<bitchchecker> thn my virus destroys your pc man
<Metanot> are you hacking yourselves?
<Elch> yes bitchchecker is trying to hack me
<Metanot> he bitchchecker if you’re a hacker you have to get around a firewall even i can do that
<bitchchecker> yes man i hack the elch but the sucker has a fire wall the
<Metanot> what firewall do you have?
<bitchchecker> like a girl
<Metanot> firewall is normal a normal hacker has to be able to get past it…you girl^^
<He> Bitch give yourself a jackson and chill you’re letting them provoce you and give those little girls new material all the time
<bitchchecker> turn the firewall off then i send you a virus [Please control your cussing]er
<Elch> Noo
<Metanot> he bitchchecker why turn it off, you should turn it off
<bitchchecker> you’re afraid
<bitchchecker> i don’t wanna hack like this if he hides like a girl behind a fire wall
<bitchchecker> elch turn off your shit wall!
<Metanot> i wanted to say something about this, do you know the definition of hacking??? if he turns of the firewall that’s an invitation and that has nothing to do with hacking
<bitchchecker> shut up
<Metanot> lol
<bitchchecker> my grandma surfs with fire wall
<bitchchecker> and you suckers think you’re cool and don’t dare going into the internet without a fire wall​

He calls me girly and says only his grandma would use a firewall. I know that elder people are much more intelligent then younger, but I couldn’t let that rest. To see whether he really is a good hacker I lie and let everything as it is. I don’t have a firewall at all, only my router.

quote:
<Elch> bitchchecker, a collegue showed me how to turn the firewall off. Now you can try again
<Metanot> bitchhacker can’t hack
<Black<TdV>> nice play on words ^^
<bitchchecker> wort man
<Elch> bitchchecker: I’m still waiting for your attack!
<Metanot> how many times again he is no hacker
<bitchchecker> man do you want a virus
<bitchchecker> tell me your ip and it deletes your hard drive
<Metanot> lol ne give it up i’m a hacker myself and i know how hackers behave and i can tell you 100.00% you’re no hacker..^^
<Elch> 127.0.0.1
<Elch> it’s easy
<bitchchecker> lolololol you so stupid man you’ll be gone
<bitchchecker> and are the first files being deleted
<Elch> mom…
<Elch> i’ll take a look​

In panic I started the Windows Explorer, my heart beating faster. Had I under-estimated him?

quote:
<bitchchecker> don’t need to rescue you can’t son of a bitch
<Elch> that’s bad
<bitchchecker> elch you idiout your hard drive g: is deleted
<Elch> yes, there’s nothing i can do about it
<bitchchecker> and in 20 seconds f: is gone​

Yes, true, G: and F: were gone. Did I ever have them? Doesn’t matter, I did not have time to think, I was scared. bitchchecker was comforting me with a music tip.

quote:
<bitchchecker> tupac rules
<bitchchecker> elch you son of a bitch your f: is gone and e: too​

Drive E:? Oh my god… All the games are there! And the vacation pictures! I instantly take a look. Everything still there. But the hacker said it was deleted….
Or isn’t it happening on my computer?

quote:
<bitchchecker> and d: is at 45% you idiot lolololol
<He> why doesn’t meta say anything
<Elch> he’s probably rolling on the floor laughing
<Black<TdV>> ^^
<bitchchecker> your d: is gone
<He> go on BITCH​

The guy is good: My CD-drive is allegedly deleted! Bitchchecker turned my ancient disk sucker into a burner! But how did he do this? I’ll have to ask him. Some encourage him. He himself is giving advice how to avoid the disaster on my hard drives.

quote:
<bitchchecker> elch man you’re so stupid never give your ip on the internet
<bitchchecker> i’m already at c: 30 percent​

Should I tell him he’s not attacking my computer?

quote:
* bitchchecker (~java@euirc-9ff3c180.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)​

Too late… It’s 20:22 when we get the last message of our hacker with the alias “bitchchecker”. We see that he has a “Ping timeout”. We haven’t seen him since then… must be the Daylight Saving Time.​

 

[Job]

My eyes!

 

[megadave]

unreadable

 

[rynnor]

Is the coalition Govt. about to implode?