The perils of being an adult

[Damini]

Mellow, you can hit the back button now, cos I think this will get you yawning...

Following on from my Outing of an adult thread, which I'm sure you all read and loved deeply and psychoticly, its spurred me to thinking what things other people found out when hitting adult hood. For example - you have to pay to have your water delivered, and then pay for it to be taken away again?? That one took me by surprise (I ignored the final demands for ages because I thought they were lying).

I fucked up my first encounters with a washing machine, and spent six months making my clothes wet and then drying them again, and wondering why they smelt of decay (I'd been putting the powder in the wrong section, and my housemates had been cleaning out the unused goop and using it themselves).

Income tax is satanic.

Council tax is satanic.

I can't eat five packets of crisps a day anymore without doing Dawn French impressions.

Cars are ridiculously expensive to maintain.

And being an adult doesn't simply mean you can drink and smoke without being told off by your parents; they still tell you off, they just find out less often.

People are still as bitchy as in the playground, they've just had more experience by now.

Anyone got any more? (I do have an ulterior motive here, I'm thinking of writing a book about it all)

 

[Damini]

And I can't drink neat vodka anymore without falling over my own knickers getting undressed and then being sick in the morning (See also Polish Wedding Traditional Drinks)

 

[caLLous]

Originally posted by Damini
I fucked up my first encounters with a washing machine, and spent six months making my clothes wet and then drying them again, and wondering why they smelt of decay (I'd been putting the powder in the wrong section, and my housemates had been cleaning out the unused goop and using it themselves).

Heh heh, I was just as bad. Except I didn't know which one to put the powder in, so I just threw it in all 3 and hoped. The powder that went in the hole for the fabric softener always went gunky and shit.

 

[Chalky's_Wife]

The worst thing about being an adult is when you have kids yourself and find yourself sounding and behaving like a clone of your parents (which I suppose is all we are really). I remember resenting my mum cos she wouldn't take me to youth club every week- now I resent my kids as I'm an unpaid taxi service several times a week! Lazy whatsits refuse to walk.

 

[tris-]

you have to pay bills instead of spending all your money on useless shit you only ever use once

 

[Sir Frizz]

Originally posted by Damini

Cars are ridiculously expensive to maintain.

This is one i must face soon...

 

[Mellow-]

You're not posting anything nobody wasn't aware of in the first place you do know this? You're like Queen of the obvious.

Originally posted by Damini
Mellow, you can hit the back button now, cos I think this will get you yawning...

On the contrary, the BW map provided by old.Jas showed me you were from Kent. I feel sorry for you.

 

[Trem]

I can't iron, I've tried and I just can't do it.

Hoovering is ok, dusting sux0rs.

Cooking I have not yet done(good old Sammeh)

Dogs are not to expensive and I wouldn't be without them.

I miss my mummy.

Less sex.

Noisier sex when we do have it.

I can piss with the door open(but I don't)

Bill's are fine I just give Samm a wad of money every week and she deals with it.

Yes I also, up untill last week was putting the powder in the wrong compartment.

 

[Scooba Da Bass]

Not really an adult thing but quickly putting on trousers with zip flies

 

[Damini]

Gah Mellow, you're such a grumpy bastard. I wasn't saying it was things people don't already know, I was saying things you didn't expect to happen when you were an adult.

For example...

Child: You mow the lawn maybe twice a year. It grows to exactly three inches tall, then stays that height.

Adult: You have to mow the lawn alot, otherwise it gets really tall and your neighbours hate you and it defies all attempts to be mown because its up past your knees, and it just gets worse until your garden looks like the kind they find heroin needles and the bodies of decaying tramps in.

 

[Rubber Bullets]

The first house I lived in, my neighbors cut my grass, so as not to bring the neighborhood down. I thought I had a nice 'corn field' look going

s

 

[xane]

Originally posted by Damini
Adult: You have to mow the lawn alot, otherwise it gets really tall and your neighbours hate you and it defies all attempts to be mown because its up past your knees, and it just gets worse until your garden looks like the kind they find heroin needles and the bodies of decaying tramps in.

The secret is to mow every week, and it takes a lot less time and effort

As was pointed out, if you think becoming an adult is bad, then wait until you are a parent and seeing your kids have all the fun and innocence (and stupidity) whilst you suffer even more

I picked my teenage step-son up from a Korn concert the other night, guess how easy it is to locate a pubesent spotty dropout with a weird hair, black clothing and chains ... amongst several thousand exact clones.

The way I figured out my washine machine was ... to use my mothers one

 

[Mellow-]

Originally posted by Damini
Gah Mellow, you're such a grumpy bastard. I wasn't saying it was things people don't already know, I was saying things you didn't expect to happen when you were an adult.

For example...

Child: You mow the lawn maybe twice a year. It grows to exactly three inches tall, then stays that height.

Adult: You have to mow the lawn alot, otherwise it gets really tall and your neighbours hate you and it defies all attempts to be mown because its up past your knees, and it just gets worse until your garden looks like the kind they find heroin needles and the bodies of decaying tramps in.

Damini, I think you're insane.

 

[Scooba Da Bass]

Originally posted by Mellow-


Damini, I think you're insane.

You're meant to blindly worship her, she is female after all.

 

[Wilier]

I find with bills, like Tremsy Wemsy (poof), if I leave them to Mrs Wil, she deals with them in a timley fasion. I get my pocket money into my account, and all the rest stays in our account.

Kids, mine are only young, so I havnt developed "the knowledge" yet, but I do find myself doing that most dispicable of all parental acts, and licking a hanky/tissue to wipe the girls faces.

As for lawns, tell me about it. Our house sits on an acre, most of which is lawned. I am fekking pig sick of mowing, I seem to spend all my time mowing, I hate it. Or should I say I hated it, until I got a new mower lat week.

Now its fun, and my eldest will sit on my knee instead of trying to throw herself underneath.

 

[Munkey-]

Heh, those mowers rule. stick it in gear 5 and go racing around the garden on them. Painting fences is a right bast :/

 

[Ono]

The worst thing about being an adult is the fucking mortgage.

A millstone sapping away 40% of my net income until I am 50 years old.


Just think of how many exotic holidays and nice cars I could have had by now if it weren't for this bloody house!!!??!

 

[granny]

Getting to the stage of adulthood where you have to actually, seriously think about things like pensions. That sucks.

But I have to admit I actually like the rest of it so far. Oh ok, the bills and money etc stuff sucks, but at least now I *have* money even if most of it disappears without trace before so much as touching my account but it beats the shit out of paper-round wages, that's for sure

I like owning a house - it's *mine*! I can paint the walls whatever colour I want!! Hang on, now I can do that why is it that the colours I want to paint them in are boring, adult colours (that sounded kinky, I just meant.. oh never mind)? I like having my own car, I can drive where I want... ie the supermarket and the garden centre... hmm, there's a pattern developing here isn't there?

I do enjoy being a grown-up though, maybe it's cos I'm single again so I can pander to *my* whims instead of someone elses?

 

[~Lazarus~]

Originally posted by camazotz


The secret is to mow every week, and it takes a lot less time and effort

As was pointed out, if you think becoming an adult is bad, then wait until you are a parent and seeing your kids have all the fun and innocence (and stupidity) whilst you suffer even more

I picked my teenage step-son up from a Korn concert the other night, guess how easy it is to locate a pubesent spotty dropout with a weird hair, black clothing and chains ... amongst several thousand exact clones.

The way I figured out my washine machine was ... to use my mothers one

You guys have no clue

get a gardener - its a lot less hassle

Other things to worry about :

Child - endless supply of pennies from parents pockets / purse

Adult - work like a dawg for a pittance

 

[GDW]

Being an adult is shite. Go get pissed every night and take large quantities of drugs. Then hopefully you will die happy before thirty.

DONT do what I did which was to fall in love and have kids .

 

[Pippa666]

Well 'adults' say the best days of your life is ur school days, you tend to think yea, yea, yea until u leave school , start working and become an adult whilst having to pay your own way in the world. Then u think hhmmm hang on a minute, maybe it was all easier at school
As a mother of 2 teenage girls I only need to hear mmmooommmm and immediatly I think 'Oh god, what now', its normally the money question tho, cud be worse eh <gulp>
Howcome kids think money grows on trees, hv u ever seen a money tree ????

 

[Uncle Sick(tm)]

Ssssshhhh... Smaldini - stop playing the philosopher.

Renew your subscription instead

 

[Wij]

Women can choose whatever colour they like for the walls. Men just have to paint it. It's not a great hardship though, how often do I look at the walls ?

 

[Pippa666]

Women can choose whatever colour they like for the walls. Men just have to paint it.

Thats if u can get em off there (__Y__)

 

[Insane]

Originally posted by Mellow-


Damini, I think you're insane.

*quickly checks self*

nope, im definately me...

im not gonna comment on anything adult, except what Wij said.. im always dragged to parents/sisters house to help with painting the walls

 

[Daffeh]

Originally posted by Pippa666
Well 'adults' say the best days of your life is ur school days, you tend to think yea, yea, yea until u leave school , start working and become an adult whilst having to pay your own way in the world. Then u think hhmmm hang on a minute, maybe it was all easier at school

awww crap, might as well shoot me now then

 

[doh_boy]

what about when you're the only one in the family with a particular skill? (i.e the only one doing anything with computers) I'm always being sent off to some uncle/cousin/grandma/so far back only genetists know the correct term's house to "fix the internet" :|

It's quite nice, though, when they treat you as if you're the best guy in the world with computers tho'!

Rather strangley my when it comes to painting the house me mam does it everytime. Which is kinda strange since my dad is a builder and has, in the past, bought (done up) and sold houses.

/edit school daze? A big doss but you (or at least I was) seem to go to a school full of tossers , my mates from high school were top geezers tho'!

 

[Damini]

Strangely enough, that doesn't happen to me often.

"Save us all! Vishnu the Indian god has come alive, and is demanding human sacrifices! If only we could perform some kind of dramatic play to distract the rampaging deity! Where is Damini when you need her?"

Us drama students aren't the first port of call in a crisis.

 

[Chalky's_Wife]

Quote "As a mother of 2 teenage girls I only need to hear mmmooommmm and immediatly I think 'Oh god, what now', its normally the money question tho, cud be worse eh <gulp>
Howcome kids think money grows on trees, hv u ever seen a money tree ????"

I want to change my name, I wish they'd go back where they came from- on second thought's maybe not- ouch!! I wish my daughter would not arrive home in the back of a police van (only doing what I did at her age and have a few drinks in the local park on a friday night- silly bugger got caught- I didn't hehe-I obviously slipped up in her education) I wish I didn't tell them off for things I can remember doing at their age and sounding like my mother while I'm doing it. I wonder if she thought the same when I was their age as I do now? A while back Daughter number 1 decided to run away as I had grounded her for something. I called my Mum for some sympathy who promptly informed me that she was always running away when she was her age for days on end- must be a genetic thing.

My kids also think I'm a money tree, food replicator -addinfinitum 24/7, taxi, washerwoman, slave and general dogs body- and we still love the little darlings.

And as for men and Painting well.. suffice to say the women in my family usually get lumbered and leave it at that- get fed up with waiting for it to get done.

 

[Daffeh]

you mean money doesnt grow on trees?


damn that man selling magic money tree beans