The friend zone

[00dave]

What is the deal?
They find you pyhsically attractive enough to date, maybe even sleep with.
They enjoy your company enough to be your friend.
But for some reason you get relegated to the friend zone because they just don't see you "that way".

What the hell is "that way"?

Yes I have been friend zoned recently.

 

[Uara]

I dunno, but I too have been friend-zoned too many times. Its rather soul-destroying at times!

 

[Wazzerphuk]

It's because they're ashamed of you and they think they can do better and make themselves look better in the eyes of other people.

 

[TdC]

the best cure for this is to coat their special toy with wasabi before saying goodbye civilly, like a true gentleman

 

[Cyradix]

I had a couple of those “friends with benefits” kind of deals…
It sounds really great and a lot of my friends are jealous of the life style, but in reality most of the time you end up totally miserable….
You just can’t turn off your emotions and feelings.
They say men are better at keeping love and sex separated than women, but lately I tend to disagree!!

If you are not hopelessly in love with her I’d say go for it and enjoy yourself while it lasts, else… get out!! Get out now!!

 

[old.user4556]

Simply put; she doesn't like you enough.

If she says "i don't see you that way", you should hear "i'm not interested in you"

If she says "i don't like you that way, lets be friends", you should hear "i'm not interested in you".

If she says "you're like a brother", you should hear "i'm not interested in you".

I'll be honest, I've done it to girls. I've liked their company in small doses, the sex was fun, but none of them were girlfriend material so it had to come to an end eventually.

 

[Cadelin]

It could also be: "I like you but you have some baggage that I don't want to have to deal with"

 

[Mey]

or it could be, I like you alot but if we dated and it turned sour I wouldn't be able to spend time with you anymore.

 

[Scouse]

the best cure for this is to coat their special toy with wasabi before saying goodbye civilly, like a true gentleman

This is the single best idea I've ever heard!

but this:

or it could be, I like you alot but if we dated and it turned sour I wouldn't be able to spend time with you anymore.

Is a total cop out...

 

[Mey]

I don't see that as a cop out but meh' each to there own. I guess people have different priorities in life. Personally (and this isn't to say anyone elses opinion is wrong) i'd rather keep a friend then lose it due to the deadly silence after a relationship has gone bad.

 

[Sparx]

its a horrible route to go down just having fuck buddies, i've been doing it a few years now and i am cold and lifeless inside and have no desire to be with anyone at all. And dont think i will ever get with anyone properly.

 

[old.Tohtori]

Friend Zone is a nice way of saying "not interested", but also, if you get put to a friend zone, in the premise that she does fancy you, you've snogged, even slept together...then you're a fall-4-guy

When she's old, saggy, can't get anyoen and her hormones start to pump, you'll be getting a call.

Then you can be the friend in need that you've been her friend for years and years and finally you can...tell the b*tch to f*ck off.

Women have this strange "leave no man behind" thing, where if they get even slightly attached, it's for life

Men can drop a 10 year marriage in a heartbeat on other hand, os it all balances out.

On topic of f*ckbuddies; never.

Someone always falls.

 

[old.user4556]

or it could be, I like you alot but if we dated and it turned sour I wouldn't be able to spend time with you anymore.

I agree with Scouse.

If a man likes a woman enough, or a woman likes a man enough; they won't give a fuck about the friendship. This isn't One Tree Hill, this is real life. If they are good friends and one of them wants more, but the other one doesn't; it's easy to play the "i don't want to ruin our friendship" card than tell them "i'd never fuck you in a million years". Eases people down gently.

I'd sacrifice Wij's life to the god of goatse if it meant i get to put my willy into the warm zone of a hot girl I fancied.

 

[old.Tohtori]

I agree with Scouse.

If a man likes a woman enough, or a woman likes a man enough; they won't give a fuck about the friendship. This isn't One Tree Hill, this is real life. If they are good friends and one of them wants more, but the other one doesn't; it's easy to play the "i don't want to ruin our friendship" card than tell them "i'd never fuck you in a million years". Eases people down gently.

I'd sacrifice Wij's life to the god of goatse if it meant i get to put my willy into the warm zone of a hot girl I fancied.

Pessies come and go, friends stay.

Basic bro-codes.

 

[PLightstar]

I would agree with that, I have been put in the Friend Zone a few times and discovered the best step is to move on, stop hanging round them for a while and meet new people. Some women see there 'male friends' as a back-up option, when they feel low they will call you up and use you to build there confidence back up.

Its just not worth it, I am happliy in a relationship, but when I was single and saw myself heading towards the 'friend zone' I would back away and pretty much ignore her, trust me its harsh but its the best way, otherwise your head and heart will get messed up deciding will she or wont she change her mind.

 

[old.user4556]

In an ideal world Tohtori, yes.

 

[old.Tohtori]

In an ideal world Tohtori, yes.

Not really, just in a "non-pussy hunger" world.

I'd never put a pussy over a friend, unless i was paying for a lapdance for a friend.

 

[DaGaffer]

So none of you have ever put a girl you know into the friend-zone? I know I have. And I also know that fucking that girl that you only thought of as a friend does make things weird between you afterwards. Then again I've always tended to get on with exes, so maybe I'm just weird.

 

[old.user4556]

No again, in an ideal world, but you're assuming all human males are decent - and when hot girls are concerned, they're pretty much not . Friends are more forgiving that people you've just met, they'll understand if you get blindsided by a hottie.

I had a huge fallout with a mate of mine over a girl about 18 months ago. I bumped into my ex when we were out for a pint. She left the pub and I went out after her. I left him standing for about 30 minutes whilst I patched something up with my ex. He felt fucked over that I left him standing (he left to get the train) for her, even after apologising profusely. The short of it is that it worked things out between me and my ex and we now live together, and my mate (who was single at the time) has realised now that he has a girlfriend that he loves a lot that he would have done the same thing to me to rescue things with his now girlfriend.

 

[Belgerath]

The Friend Zone...

The i like your company and your a nice person, but the idea of having sex with you churns my guts zone.

Get out and fast if you dont feel the same 2bh.

If it keeps happening to you alot then your arnt making your intentions clear from the get go.

Man up and go for it, if she isnt having any of it then move on

 

[old.user4556]

So none of you have ever put a girl you know into the friend-zone? I know I have. And I also know that fucking that girl that you only thought of as a friend does make things weird between you afterwards. Then again I've always tended to get on with exes, so maybe I'm just weird.

Oh hell yeah Gaff, a couple of times. However, I didn't hide behind the excuse of "i don't want to ruin things" or "i just don't feel that way". It was because I either a) didn't like them enough or b) didn't think they were girlfriend material. I was more of a "i don't see a future in this" bloke which is a lot more honest than a wishy-washy "i love you.... like a sister" or some bullshit.

 

[old.Tohtori]

No again, in an ideal world, but you're assuming all human males are decent - and when hot girls are concerned, they're pretty much not . Friends are more forgiving that people you've just met, they'll understand if you get blindsided by a hottie.

I had a huge fallout with a mate of mine over a girl about 18 months ago. I bumped into my ex when we were out for a pint. She left the pub and I went out after her. I left him standing for about 30 minutes whilst I patched something up with my ex. He felt fucked over that I left him standing (he left to get the train) for her, even after apologising profusely. The short of it is that it worked things out between me and my ex and we now live together, and my mate (who was single at the time) has realised now that he has a girlfriend that he loves a lot that he would have done the same thing to me to rescue things with his now girlfriend.

I have to say, in YOUR world. Guess it all comes down to personal things, beliefs, loyalties and such.

 

[old.user4556]

Yes Tohtori, it does entirely depend. Friends can come and go as much as women do.

 

[old.Tohtori]

Yes Tohtori, it does entirely depend. Friends can come and go as much as women do.

True, and friends have boundaries too. One of my oldest friends, back when, hit on my(then) current girl. Friendship ended on spot.

I just personally(my opinion) wouldn't put a girl before a friend, or a shag before a friendship.

Though, these days i have enough friends so i don't need any more

 

[old.user4556]

Well it's difficult to draw a line here, I agree with you that putting a random shag on a night out before a friend is wrong, but if you have years of history with a woman (as in my case) it becomes a lot more complex.

 

[Sparx]

i was having a great time with one of my friends. We were meeting loads then having sex.

She pulled the i think we should have time apart as i dont want our friendship to be ruined cause we are really close.

Unlucky for her i wasnt bothered and can move on pretty quickly, which i did. We now barely speak. Not sure if its cause she may have liked me a little more or what, but the exact thing happened cause she went weird on me and i didnt humour it

 

[old.user4556]

Or she found someone else she preferred to get her sex supply from?

 

[Sparx]

oh yeah she is a bit of a free spirit

Nothing against that, i would be a hypocrite otherwise. We were both knobing other people too, but she's been burned in the past with seeing friends and was worried it would turn out the same with us.

I got what i wanted from her so not fussed it ended, just wish she could have seen it that way

 

[old.Tohtori]

She pulled the i think we should have time apart as i dont want our friendship to be ruined cause we are really close.

Ironically...

but she's been burned in the past with seeing friends and was worried it would turn out the same with us.

Exactly what happened due to her being careful not to get burned

Well it's difficult to draw a line here, I agree with you that putting a random shag on a night out before a friend is wrong, but if you have years of history with a woman (as in my case) it becomes a lot more complex.

True, and to those kind of situations i have a simple "rule" of sorts:

If i know who the girl you go after is, it's no problem, it's only natural etc. As long as you don't bounce the bar and go away or something, without notifying.

If i don't know the girl, i expect a "hey, this that, quick note, i'm going after" and then it's cool.

But if it's me and you(per example), cruising wingman style, and you bugger off for over an hour, it's a legit "apology" aquired. 10-15 minutes un-announced bail(superman bail).

 

[00dave]

I'd never put a pussy over a friend, unless i was paying for a lapdance for a friend.

Sadly most mates don't abide by the unwritten rules when a good looking girl comes along.