Advice stepping on people...

[russell]

So I started a new job 4 months ago and They have 'suggested' i go for a promotion. Problem is someone elsel who has been there for years, has changed her mind and is now wanting to go for it. She is lovely and so I have pulled
out. Senior management said i should think of my career.. am i a mug? Should you just work your way up the career ladder regardless?

 

[Job]

So you've pulled out because she changed her mind?

 

[Raven]

Always best to pull out when the lady changes her mind.

Oh wait...

 

[old.Osy]

Softie. You only know her for 4 months now. Stay rational and pragmatic - may the best candidate win.

 

[Scouse]

am i a mug?

Yep.

Sorry to say it russell but yep, definitely. Really *really* silly thing to do.

Senior management want you. Stop pissing about and acting like a girl. Take the job.


As an aside - I think women earn less than men simply because they don't ask for more. My G/F is a point in question. She'd coasted along waiting for promotion for ages. Since she's met me I've nudged her to be more assertive in asking for more. In the past 3 years she's had 6 pay rises and 2 promotions in a company who's official policy (i.e. posted by letter to every employee) is that there's a "pay freeze" and they rarely give out cost-of-living.

Why? She now pushes for more - half her pay rises have been on the condition she doesn't reveal them to colleagues.

 

[Cadelin]

Yes you are a mug. If you don't think about your career who will?

If you have been there a few months and management think you should go for it, you are clearly under-employed at the moment. If they had advertised the higher level job at the time you applied for your current job, you would almost certainly have still applied and stopped that lovely lady you didn't yet know from getting the job. You can always find someone more in need than you, but if that upsets you, work your hardest and give something back.

Lastly, what makes you think she will get this promotion even if she is the only candidate? If senior management are a bunch of asses who are keeping her down, they will find a reason to keep doing that. If senior management are sensible the reason she won't have got promoted before is because they felt she wasn't good enough.

 

[Madmaxx]

it is a dog eat dog world, and nice guys do finish last.

 

[soze]

Sorry but I think it was a mistake. It is all well and good but if I am your boss and I see you give up on this promotion because of a colleagues whim it proves you don't really want it and next time there's an opportunity I would remember that.

I think stepping aside and doing "the right thing" is admirable though. But I think you could of just let her apply as well and let the best woman win if she is better suited she gets the job if you are better suited then you get the job and the company gets the best person.

 

[caLLous]

Yes, you're a mug.

I'd say it's pretty much unanimous. Have you officially pulled out or can you change your mind?

Do you think she would pull out if you suddenly said you were going for it?

'xactly.

 

[Lethul]

 

[rynnor]

Actually it depends on whether you were going to win or not.

If she was the preferred candidate then its good sense but if you dont know then perhaps you should have gone - your the best judge though.

 

[Lamp]

The person you stepped aside for wouldn't give two shiny shites about your feelings. Sometimes you have to put yourself first. Being a lovely person doesn't pay the bills. The job situation out there is really tough. Bad time to be pushing aside a promotion imo

If you really wanted the promotion you wouldn't have stepped aside. Sounds to me like your heart wasn't in it anyway? If I was in your shoes, I'd talk to your managers and ask if its not too late to reverse your decision.

But its your call of course. You got to do what YOU think is right for you.

 

[Embattle]

I don't think you should of pulled out, you give her the respect by not playing dirty when going for it.

 

[dysfunction]

Stepping on people is when you get ahead by being nasty. Not by just applying for a job management think you are good for.

 

[Edmond]

Why has she suddenly changed her mind, because they have offered it to you and she pissed at that?

This is bollocks, go back in there tomorrow and tell them you want it. You've only known her for 4 months and she's your friend...at the moment, so you feel bad. A year down the line she cold turn out to be a bitch, I'm thinking Ellie!! And you'll then kick yourself

You knew they were wanting you for more from the off, so here's your chance to get ahead. They may not offer it to you again if they think your to soft or worried about hurting your colleges feelings

 

[rynnor]

Jeez guys - dont you know that a woman asking for advice is actually asking for reassurances that she did the right thing - not actual advice!

 

[Zenith.UK]

From the limited amount of info you've given russell, you should change your mind as well and ask management that you still want to be considered for the position.
Management have made it clear that you're a serious candidate by suggesting you go for it. That's about the same as being given a letter with 72pt font "We want you for the job!" You would be a fool to pass up this opportunity just because the other lady is "lovely".

Osy had it right. "May the best candidate win".

 

[Olgaline]

asking for reassurances that she did the right thing

She didn't!
The friend should get it on merritt, not by having it handed to her because no one else applied!
If Senior management want a "newbie" instead of someone who has been there for much longer there probably is a good reason for it.

 

[old.Tohtori]

Depends if you really want the promotion. They suggested it, but if you're in no russ(har) to get a promotion and are happy with your work then there's no blame in giving way to someone else.

As said; do you want it? If so, then go for it.

 

[Jupitus]

Go for it Russ x

 

[Shagrat]

Gotta agree with a lot of whats already been said really.

Management have said you should go for it, they obviously think you have the potential, you should put yourself first and if its something you want to go for, what other people's opinions of you will be shouldnt even be a consideration.

 

[Scouse]

Dyou're in no russ(har) to get a promotion and are happy with your work then there's no blame in giving way to someone else

Management have a dim view of people who pass up promotions.

IMO you would be unlikely to be offered promotion again if you turn one down - you're basically saying you're at your level.

 

[old.Tohtori]

Management have a dim view of people who pass up promotions.

IMO you would be unlikely to be offered promotion again if you turn one down - you're basically saying you're at your level.

Yeap, management is dim

Just have to present it in a good way such as "i think X is better or this job currently and i have YZ and ¤ that i can't just abandon", but once you do you can't go back(as that co-worker did), since it gives a weak impression.

 

[TdC]

people at work are not your friends, no matter what you think. so fuck people at work. take the promotion. you don't get promoted because people like you (*cough* shit bosses aside), you get promoted because what the organisation can get out of you is more valuable to them than what they get from someone else.

 

[DaGaffer]

Career ladder? WTF?

 

[ECA]

She's been there for years and hasn't been promoted, you've been there months and management want you to apply against her?

tldr shes a cuntmuffin and management are desperate for ANYONE BUT her.

 

[Bahumat]

She's been there for years and hasn't been promoted, you've been there months and management want you to apply against her?

tldr shes a cuntmuffin and management are desperate for ANYONE BUT her.

Yep that's how I see it.

If you pull out and let her have the job they might think "she's not qualified" and get someone external.

 

[Gumbo]

ECA is right. Don't turn down opportunities like this. Also, as someone who has been 'Management' for a long time now (getting old), There may well be a certain element of, 'well, she had her chance and turned it down' when the next opportunity comes around.

If it's not too late, go for the promotion.

 

[russell]

thanks for your advice guys...always nice to have a team of random strangers to consult! My co worker has been offered tge position a number of times as she is good. The only reason she declined was due to wprk/life balance (as she is newly wed)

 

[dysfunction]

So she could be going on maternity leave soon then!

You should still have kept your name in regardless...