Squat n surf

[00dave]

Do you?

I am right now.

Wireless is a wonderful thing.

 

[TdC]

I thought you were talking about Indonesian and Malaysian toilets

 

[Tom]

Indeed I do. Nothing beats having a dump while reading Teed's posts.

 

[TdC]

I always knew I'd have some use as a laxative

 

[ECA]

More relevant question whose AC Slatered on the toilet?

 

[tris-]

I didnt poo for ages, but latley ive been having monster ones. so much so i can feel my insides reforming their natural shape, and ive lost about 3" off my waist.

 

[Chilly]

are we going to have a repeat of https://forums.freddyshouse.com/general-2/236776-poo-day.html then?

 

[00dave]

No this isn't a thread about poo, its about what you do while pooing.

 

[tris-]

touch my wee wee.

 

[00dave]

Speaking of which how do you avoid letting your wee wee touch the inside of the toilet basin?

 

[tris-]

angle the pipe work straight down or pad the closest areas with toilet paper.

 

[old.Tohtori]

Speaking of which how do you avoid letting your wee wee touch the inside of the toilet basin?

I'd like to know how to avoid it dangling in the water

 

[00dave]

I'd like to know how to avoid it dangling in the water

untie the brick you're using to stretch it.

 

[old.Tohtori]

untie the brick you're using to stretch it.

Ah thanks! Worked like a charm.

On topic by the way;

When i squat, i like to think about random things. How rats can survive horrendous enviroments? How cockroaches can survive a complete global meltdown? How moths always go to the light? Do maggots feel?

Then i think that i really should clean my toilet.

 

[Trem]

I'd like to know how to avoid it dangling in the water

Remove the blockage from the toilet so the water level drops.

As is well documented I like to trim while poohing, often damaging myself. More recently I just read Viz or the Daily Mash book I bought.

I find the first few seconds of splash down unbearable though due to the pain of my arse grapes as Mr Plop forces his way out, so when thats happening I just close my eyes and pray for the lord to take me away

 

[00dave]

Also stand up or sit down to wipe, and then front to back or back to front.

 

[MYstIC G]

I just close my eyes and pray for the lord to take me away

He doesn't listen, we've all been praying for that for years... well, that and for somebody to be able to document it all for our amusement in a thread obviously...

 

[Trem]

He doesn't listen, we've all been praying for that for years... well, that and for somebody to be able to document it all for our amusement in a thread obviously...

I am not loved.

 

[TdC]

yes you are. just not in the way you'd like to be ^^

 

[MYstIC G]

I am not loved.

Clearly you are, but only by god. Unfortunately you can't prove he exists, so you just can't prove that you are loved, no?

 

[TdC]

ooo harsh

 

[taB]

the Daily Mash book I bought.

Any good? Was thinking of grabbing it.

 

[Jupitus]

Any good? Was thinking of grabbing it.

If you want a preview, maybe Trem will send you the pages he has 'finished with'

 

[Tom]

I am not loved.

She loves you:

 

[Insane]

Hmm, Reminds me of the chav's at the bottom of the road...

 

[Trem]

Any good? Was thinking of grabbing it.

Yes its very good, perfect toilet book.

She loves you:

*fap*

 

[Chilly]

that pink SO clashes with the rest of the outfit. I bet she doesnt wash her hands after she poos.

 

[Edmond]

what does it mean if you poo blood??

 

[Trem]

what does it mean if you poo blood??

It means welcome to the joy of arse clags

Bright red blood = piles.

Blood IN pooh = go to the doctors tomorrow.

 

[old.user4556]

What's the best way to have the loo roll, over or under?

/runs