Smartass Answers 2006

[Chronictank]

*Stolen from a random forums.

SMART ASS ANSWER #6

It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline. "Would you like
dinner?" the flight attendant asked John, seated in front. "What are my
choices?" John asked. "Yes or no," she replied.

SMART ASS ANSWER #5

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened
his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said, "Sir,
I need to see your ticket not your stub."

SMART ASS ANSWER #4

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but
she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy,
"Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

SMART ASS ANSWER #3

The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding
rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop
said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way
without a ticket.

SMART ASS ANSWER #2

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that
reads, "Low Bridge Ahead."
Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him, and he gets stuck
under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to
the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck,
huh?"
The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of
gas."

SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2006

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now
class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I
might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness,or
a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses
whatsoever!"
A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What
would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter
sexual exhaustion?"
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering.
When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student,
shakes her head and sweetly says, "Well, Iguess you'd have to write
the exam with your other hand."

 

[Amildin]

Very good

 

[Kinag]

hahaha, the last one is the best.

 

[NikonL]

The last one is a joke that ive seen pasted all over websites well before 2006! that list is FAKE.

for shame

 

[Chronictank]

The last one is a joke that ive seen pasted all over websites well before 2006! that list is FAKE.

for shame

old comments are getting old

 

[Vladamir]

old comments are getting old

Complaints of old comments getting old is getting old

 

[NikonL]

old comments are getting old

YOURE old. and anyway, at no point did i say "old" in my first post. I was just questioning the validity of that list :| im led to beleive that all those other smart remarks are fake/urban legends too seeing as that last one deffinately is.

 

[Pirkel]

Complaints of old comments getting old is getting old

Complaints of complaints of saying old is getting old

 

[Chronictank]

YOURE old. and anyway, at no point did i say "old" in my first post. I was just questioning the validity of that list :| im led to beleive that all those other smart remarks are fake/urban legends too seeing as that last one deffinately is.

i think your prolly the only one that took it seriously

Complaints of complaints of saying old is getting old

old comments are getting old

 

[Vladamir]

Complaints of complaints of saying old is getting old

Sexy dutchie

























Is getting old

 

[old.Tohtori]

Well i've been hoping to use this...so why not!

 

[Ezteq]

pfft just cos somethings fake doesnt mean its no good....

ask any of my x bf's i'm sure they'll confirm that some fake things deserve an oscar for the sheer amount of effort they take to create and maintain.

[edit: this was my way of defending the post btw lol v good matey]

 

[Blackjack]

liked #2 and #4

i can add one, this one is real.

A man and his wife walks into a videostore, he us wearing a very colorful shirt, with flowers on it.
The clerk who has just gotten off work is talking to the clerk who took over.
One says "I hate them all, everyone who comes in here" in jest to his co-worker. Then turns to the couple and says "Not you 2 of course".
The offended husband goes "I'm not even listening to you"
The clerk instantly replies "Probably because you couldn't hear me over the loudness of those colours" and points to what the man is wearing.
The man grabs his wife, drags her towards the door, and says "I will never rent videos here again!" The clerk now looking fairly amused simply says "Good, then you can use the money you save, to buy a less gay shirt"

And thats why i'm.. I mean the clerk.. is known as the most polite and serviceminded guy there

 

[Pirkel]

Sexy dutchie Is getting old

You weren't complaining last night

 

[cmr]

liked #2 and #4

i can add one, this one is real.

A man and his wife walks into a videostore, he us wearing a very colorful shirt, with flowers on it.
The clerk who has just gotten off work is talking to the clerk who took over.
One says "I hate them all, everyone who comes in here" in jest to his co-worker. Then turns to the couple and says "Not you 2 of course".
The offended husband goes "I'm not even listening to you"
The clerk instantly replies "Probably because you couldn't hear me over the loudness of those colours" and points to what the man is wearing.
The man grabs his wife, drags her towards the door, and says "I will never rent videos here again!" The clerk now looking fairly amused simply says "Good, then you can use the money you save, to buy a less gay shirt"

And thats why i'm.. I mean the clerk.. is known as the most polite and serviceminded guy there

shame he didnt hit you, wasnt funny, just you being an asshole

 

[Blackjack]

shame he didnt hit you, wasnt funny, just you being an asshole

Funny how you can base your opinion on that. Considdering you have no idea about prior encounters. But if you feel like being such a keyboard warrior ^^ fine with me.
If i'm a smartass to you, do you promise to take a swing at me?

 

[Vladamir]

You weren't complaining last night

So thats why i couldn't sleep.

You were sexing me through mind control!

 

[Bugz]

liked #2 and #4

i can add one, this one is real.

A man and his wife walks into a videostore, he us wearing a very colorful shirt, with flowers on it.
The clerk who has just gotten off work is talking to the clerk who took over.
One says "I hate them all, everyone who comes in here" in jest to his co-worker. Then turns to the couple and says "Not you 2 of course".
The offended husband goes "I'm not even listening to you"
The clerk instantly replies "Probably because you couldn't hear me over the loudness of those colours" and points to what the man is wearing.
The man grabs his wife, drags her towards the door, and says "I will never rent videos here again!" The clerk now looking fairly amused simply says "Good, then you can use the money you save, to buy a less gay shirt"

And thats why i'm.. I mean the clerk.. is known as the most polite and serviceminded guy there

why? =//

/Agree somewhat with Brite. If you walk into a shop, you don't hope to have some cocky clerk give you abuse.

 

[Blackjack]

why? =//

/Agree somewhat with Brite. If you walk into a shop, you don't hope to have some cocky clerk give you abuse.

Considdering the crap we put up with. You'd be surprised that we don't run amok with a chainsaw at some of the people who sticks their head in a couple of times a year .

Can't believe you said "/agree somewhat with Brite" Thats like saying "I agree somewhat with former Iraqi Information Minister; Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf.
I know more people than i can count with the fingers on both hands that will testify Brite to be the biggest ass in the world.
Him commenting on me being rude, is like Ted Bundy calling Gandhi a deviant.

 

[old.Tohtori]

Well i have to agree with the guys BJ.

That wasn't a good reply.




What You SHOULD have said was "Then you just gotta BUY that -Horny Sluts in Jello 3- won't ya?"

 

[Blackjack]

Well i have to agree with the guys BJ.

That wasn't a good reply.




What You SHOULD have said was "Then you just gotta BUY that -Horny Sluts in Jello 3- won't ya?"

Hahaha scary thing is, we have stuff like that

 

[Huntingtons]

You weren't complaining last night

hard to complain when you're drugged up on fantasy

 

[Succi]

sig quote was my favourite

 

[Marc]

shame he didnt hit you, wasnt funny, just you being an asshole

QFT

 

[Blackjack]

QFT

Funny, how after reading this situation. Half of the people here suddenly adopts the "holier than thou" Attitude ^^.

If you came in a couple of times a year, insisted on special treatment, held up a giant line because you didn't want to pay late fees and were generally rude while doing this. I'd do exactly the same to you, and trust me... i'd pray for you to take a swing at me

 

[Chronictank]

Funny, how after reading this situation. Half of the people here suddenly adopts the "holier than thou" Attitude ^^.

Trust me, if you came in a couple of times a year, insisted on special treatment, held up a giant line because you didn't want to pay late fees and were generally rude while doing this. I'd do exactly the same to you, and trust me... i'd pray for you to take a swing at me

then quit? its not a "hoiler than thou" attitude, its called professionalism .
noone is forcing you to work there, so that quite frankly is a pretty poor excuse for being an asshole
We all put up with shit at work when dealing with customers, it comes with the terriroty..

 

[Blackjack]

then quit? its not a "hoiler than thou" attitude, its called professionalism .
noone is forcing you to work there, so that quite frankly is a pretty poor excuse for being an asshole
We all put up with shit at work when dealing with customers, it comes with the terriroty..

quit? not a chance, probably about the best part time job i could get. Fine then call it proffessionalism ^^ i don't care who you are, and what you do. Repeatetly come back to cause trouble and i'll call you on it
I have worked there for quite a while and have the full support of my boss. "why?" you ask. When i'm rude to the costumers. Because i'm rude to the costumers who cause trouble. Some of them even have warnings on their cards from previous incidents.
You'd be surprised how many of the other costumers find it funny. That these people don't get away with it. Because it's holding up them aswell.
But if you call that not being proffessional, thats fine with me I enjoy going to work, and tbh people judging me is not really a worry i have

 

[mikke]

*Stolen from a random forums.

SMART ASS ANSWER #2

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that
reads, "Low Bridge Ahead."
Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him, and he gets stuck
under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to
the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck,
huh?"
The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of
gas."

haha! nice

 

[Naffets]

then quit? its not a "hoiler than thou" attitude, its called professionalism .
noone is forcing you to work there, so that quite frankly is a pretty poor excuse for being an asshole
We all put up with shit at work when dealing with customers, it comes with the terriroty..

I should imagine with his attitude that quitting wouldn't be an option anyway chron. Both me and you put up with a shit ton of crap at work and yet we keep it cool all the time. In four years of dealing with customers I've not once come close to shouting at a customer or giving them any shit at all.

If you knew anything about customer services Black you'd not even consider giving backchat to a customer in any way shape or form. Evidentally thats not the case.

You'll find very few firms put up with cocky staff, and those that do are usually shit and go under. Trust me, I know.

 

[Blackjack]

I should imagine with his attitude that quitting wouldn't be an option anyway chron. Both me and you put up with a shit ton of crap at work and yet we keep it cool all the time. In four years of dealing with customers I've not once come close to shouting at a customer or giving them any shit at all.

If you knew anything about customer services Black you'd not even consider giving backchat to a customer in any way shape or form. Evidentally thats not the case.

You'll find very few firms put up with cocky staff, and those that do are usually shit and go under. Trust me, I know.

I know plenty about customer services, i make a concious choice to call these people out. But before i go any further with this. I have to ask, what do you do for a living then?