Slightly gay cookery thread. Beware!

[Lester]

Right, got a big BBQ coming up for the family and although I obviously have some leet recipes of my own, I wonder if any of you non-students (beans and/or Pot Noodle slide thru the bars) have any errr killer apps for the BBQ?

 

[Wij]

Tempt the squirrels on with nuts and then turn up the heat !

 

[Trem]

Its a BBQ for christ sake, whack some burgers on and stop being a mincer

 

[~YuckFou~]

Burgers.

1lb Lean mince.
Chopped onions.
Breadcrumbs.
Eggs.


Assuming 4 Quarter pound burgers.
Mix the mince, onions and 2 egg yolks until they are a nice mush. Then add the breadcrumbs while mixing, until the mix is thick enough to form the burger patties.
Optional extras include freshly ground pepper, chili, or any other spicy ingredient, I sometimes use cayenne pepper. Add this during the mix.
You can also make two small patties and then fill with cheese, "cheeseburger on the inside", Monteray Jack cheese works well although any will do.
I do BBQ whenever the weather permits, and peeps love those burgers.

Another quick and easy is chicken wings. Simply marinade in any sauce you fancy. Supermarkets now have loads of sauces suitable.

Easy desert, banana split down its length, placed in tin foil, pour brancy or any spirit you fancy into othe banana, close the wrapping and cook on the BBQ until banana skin turns dark. Serve with ice cream.
/edit
Peaches work too.

I good tool to help cooking the burgers or anything really is one of those wire mesh jobbies. Make flipping stuff a breeze.

 

[(Shovel)]

Despitte being a student, try this:

"Cheesey Death Burgers"

The basic recipie is that you make your own burger meat: Beef mince with fine chopped onion to taste. You are best running it through a blender for a short while to make it sticky enough to hold together without egg (or... well, I assume Wij is invited? )

Once you have a big ball of burger meat you need a block of mozarella cheese - grated isn't ideal because it will melt too much. Most other cheeses will go to liquid when on the BBQ too, you need to pick one that holds together quite well while still melting.
Cut up small blocks and shape the burger meat around each block.

It's helpful to make the burgers of a flour dusted surface to stop them sticking to anything other than itself.

Barbeque as normal (I'm not much help with the timings I'm afraid) and serve on a big plate. They taste great, homemade burger meat cannot be beaten and the cheese goes really well with it.

Variations:
You can do anything you like with the burger meat, fine chopped chilli can be great, anything else that wont ruin the consistancy to add flavour is always welcome.
You can also try adding a little Tabasco sauce on the cheese as you are forming the burger.

Make them quite thick - they don't need to be ball shaped but if you make them too thin the cheese escapes.

Enjoy

 

[(Shovel)]

LOL - great minds Yuck....

 

[~YuckFou~]

Originally posted by (Shovel)
LOL - great minds Yuck....

Shop bought burgers are pish, real burgers are the daddy

 

[(Shovel)]

Oh they are

Do you recon posting the same thing counts as outvoting whatever else Lester was planning to cook?

 

[~YuckFou~]

Yes, its now "The Law" that Lester must make burgers.

 

[Lester]

Sorry I should have said, NO BURGERS!!!

Did I tell you I was posh?

I was thinking along the lines of Monkfish kebabs, Salmon, Fillet steak and char-grilled servants!!

 

[leggy]

Ok..

Haggis Kebabs.

Begin by......

oh forget it.

 

[Ash!]

Spicy Chicken Breasts

You need some Honey, Lemon juice, 4 cloves of Garlic A few small Chillis, Corriander and Some Ground Ginger.

Mix half a small pot of Honey with the juice from large lemons.

Add the chopped Chillis Corrainder and ground ginger and Garlic mix for a few minutes.

Marinate the Chicken Breasts in the sauce and chill for at least 12 hours. Tasty bloody lovely



Roast Veg
Roughly cut some Courgettes, Aubergine, Tomatoes, Peppers. Garlic, Red Onions, and Mushroooms.

Put them in the centre of a large peice of Tin Foil. Fold it in Half and the fold each of the sides in to make a bag. Sprinkel a little Olive Oil and loads of Sea salt and Black pepper.

Put the bag on the BBQ and cook for 20 mins. The best roasted veg ever.

 

[mank!]

My parents refuse to do burgers on the BBQ too. All I want is a nice burger in a bun with onions and tommy k. Is it too much to ask for?

 

[Ash!]

I was listening to something on the radio the other day about BBQ's. Apparently any kind of dark meat is pretty bad to be cooked on BBQ's. Something to do with different bacterias that get produced in the cooking process. Best bet is Chicken(Preferably cooked before hand), Fish or Veg

So if you are ever ill after a BBQ its not because of the copious ammounts of Alcohol consumed to compliment said cholestorol burger purchased from local supermarket

 

[Testin da Cable]

tdc's kill4r lamb chops:

get so many lamb chops from Mr. Cutts the butcher that he starts stopping you in the street to offer se><or.
make marinade from honey, thyme perhaps little bit of basel, seasalt and crushed black pepper (but not too much), some soysauce, 2-3 cloves garlic, finely chopped chillipepper, grated lime peels, lemongrass and any other funky stuff you can come up with and a slosh of oliveoil.
make (or have) large marinading thing. put chops on, and liberally coat with teh yummy marinade. make sure it goes everywhere!
leave to sit for a few hours while you feel up teh wimmins, drink some beer (but not too much cos you still have to show off your leet BBQ skillz heh) and tell tall tales.
grill teh chops on the high-heat bit of your barby (the bit that you'd not want to touch even if someone was holding a gun to your head) until you think they're about right
serve. remember to keep lots for self.

NOTE: some lambchops have tiny (sharp) bones in. good quality butchers should minimise this, but perhaps not so good for little kids eh?
NOTE2: remember to invite tdc
NOTE3: remember to invite tdc
NOTE4: brag how you got this chop thing off an aussie bloke while you were campaigning for womens rights in some junglley place somewhere tropical. oh, and never tell anyone what goes in the marinade!

 

[dysfunction]

Originally posted by Ash!
I was listening to something on the radio the other day about BBQ's. Apparently any kind of dark meat is pretty bad to be cooked on BBQ's. Something to do with different bacterias that get produced in the cooking process. Best bet is Chicken(Preferably cooked before hand), Fish or Veg

So if you are ever ill after a BBQ its not because of the copious ammounts of Alcohol consumed to compliment said cholestorol burger purchased from local supermarket

What a load of crap!

BBQ's are a national past time in South Africa and the meat is mainly red meat and I have not heard of anyone I know getting ill.

Just cook the stuff properly!!

Oh and chicken takes longer to cook so you are more likely to under cook it and then get salmonella!

 

[Ash!]

Hey dont shoot the messenger. Just telling you what the guy on the Radio said. What they said does have an ammount of truth in it.

Think about it when you roast a joint of beef you do it on gas mark 3-4 and do it slow to ensure it is well cooked. Pound for pound white meat cooks quicker than dark meat-fact.

What he was saying was related to the temperture it was cooked at and the chemical processes that go on. Releasing some nasty shit. Anyway not arsed cos I dont eat that many burgers or steaks anyway

 

[dysfunction]

If the meat is cooked properly on a BBQ it should be fine as the bacteria would be fried.

I dont eat rare meat so I suppose if you did from a BBQ you are more likely to get ill from the weird bacteria

 

[Lester]

That's assuming that there's any bacteria to start with.

 

[Scouse]

STEAK. LOTS OF STEAK.

Rump or Sirloin. Thick. (If you're feeling flash with the cash, fillet).



This is to be washed down with beer. Lots of beer.


Follow the above with more STEAK.


You can either burn the fucker to charcoal (if you're a poof) or you can "introduce" it to the flame (if you're a strange red indian type person) or (if you're normal) do something in-between.


Did I mention that barbecues are good with STEAK???

 

[bodhi]

White meat may well be healthier on a BBQ than red meat, but unfortunately BBQ'd chickan tastes like ass. Actually that's a bit unfair, I'm sure ass tastes much more interesting than chicken.


Go with the steak. Preferably T-bone.

 

[dysfunction]

Home made kebabs are good on a BBQ...thick chunks of steak(or chicken) with veges marinated...

*drools*


Along with chops, sausages and steak.

 

[~YuckFou~]

Originally posted by Lester
Sorry I should have said, NO BURGERS!!!

Theres really is no comparison between, supermarket/butchers shop/fast food burgers and homemade. Really you should try some.

 

[Wij]

Originally posted by Ash!
I was listening to something on the radio the other day about BBQ's. Apparently any kind of dark meat is pretty bad to be cooked on BBQ's. Something to do with different bacterias that get produced in the cooking process. Best bet is Chicken(Preferably cooked before hand), Fish or Veg

So if you are ever ill after a BBQ its not because of the copious ammounts of Alcohol consumed to compliment said cholestorol burger purchased from local supermarket

Utter bollox. The guy was probably a weirdy-beardy anti-meat type cunt.

You can eat red meat raw with virtually no chance of infection. I like my steak to be in moderate sunlight for 10 seconds then served. Never harmed me. If you tried that with chicken you'd have salmenella faster than you can spell it correctly.

 

[~YuckFou~]

I heard this too somewhere, it was to do with the method of cooking, not the food being cooked. Increased chance of cancer from the burnt bits and smoke or something.
Still bullshit though.

 

[Wij]

Red meat gives you cancer !

Red meat can't be digested properly and sticks in your colon !

etc...

Load of cock. It's like the urban myth about John Wayne's colon. It gets spread around by veggie-wankers and stupid-cunting-panicky-fucking-women because it suits their anti-meat agenda.

DIE DIE DIE CUNT0RZ !!!!11

I WILL EAT YOUR FUCKING LIVERS... AS RARE AS I WANT !!!!!!!!1

*care deeply about red meat consumption rights*

 

[Lester]

Originally posted by Wij

Load of cock. It's like the urban myth about John Wayne's colon.

Which is?


And I do make home-made burgers (meatloaf too, which is nice)
I'm just saying I want something innovative (and posh)

 

[leggy]

You can dress up all you like lester but at the end of the day you'll still be mutton.

 

[~YuckFou~]

Thai king prawn kebabs.

Big prawns
Fresh lime juice
lemongrass
coconut milk

Marinade in the fridge for 8 hours or so. put stick things in them, cook. Posh.

It's also piss easy to cook whole Rainbow trout or Salmon fillets with a marinade of your choice. I like them with fresh lemon juice, olive oil and freshly ground pepper. Also posh.

 

[Gef]

Trout in lemon juice is about as posh as Special Brew