Sick Jokes

[Dark Orb Choir]

Has anyone else noticed that "Maddie" is an anagram of "I'm dead"?

So what if Jesus turned water into wine...I turned a whole student loan into Vodka once. Your move Jesus...

What's the biggest cause of paedophilia in this country?

Sexy kids

The other day I told my neighbour Jerome that he was like Marmite.

He said, "What, you either love me or you hate me?"

I said, "No, you're ***** and you smell."

Some random woman stopped me in the street today and started telling me a joke. It had all the ingredients of a good joke: child abuse; incestual rape; tears and suffering; but I didn't understand the punchline. Something about £2 a month?

New Miley Cyrus DVD: £15

Tub of Vaseline: £3

XL Box of Tissues: £2

The look of disgust on the cashiers face as you pay: Priceless

 

[Sparx]

New Miley Cyrus DVD: £15

Tub of Vaseline: £3

XL Box of Tissues: £2

The look of disgust on the cashiers face as you pay: Priceless

Brilliant lol

 

[Azurus]

How do you make a baby cry twice?

Rub your bloody cock on his teddy bear on the way out.

 

[Lamp]

Azurus speaking from experience

 

[CorNokZ]

A man walks into a bar and he goes to sit at his usual chair and orders a beer.. His alcohol abuse has destroyed his family

 

[Ezteq]

sick joke eh?

two piles of sick walking down the street one starts crying and getting all emotional the other says whats wrong? first pile of sick says "I was just getting nostalgic, this was where I was brought up"

 

[Dark Orb Choir]

What do you call a prostitute with cum on her face?

A taxi - her job's done.


What do spinach and anal sex have in common?

If you were forced to have it as a kid, you'll hate it as an adult.

Knock-knock jokes... Completely wasted on the homeless

How do you confuse a Daily Mail reader?
Tell them asylum seekers kill paedophiles.

I'm gutted! I applied to be on Big Brother 10 without success.

Although I do realise I'm not the first Englishman to be turned down for a house in England in favour of three Asians and an Eastern-European.

 

[Overdriven]

What's the difference between Madeline McCann and the pope?
Pope died a virgin.

 

[Olgaline]

sorry,
but the danes and nordic's will see teh funny

YouTube - Cirkusrevyen 2000 - Jobsamtale

YouTube - Cirkusrevyen 98 - Integration

 

[Gwadien]

GAY!, Tbh - translate kk thanks :O

 

[pikeh]

Spoiler

Whats the difference between a ferrari and a dead baby?

I havn't got a ferrari in my garage

I'm sorry :<

 

[adoNix]

Disturbing.. i wont ever click this again

 

[Olgaline]

ok,
I apologize in advance

Spoiler

There was a little girl and her mother walking through the park one day and they saw two teenagers having sex on a bench.

The little girl says, "Mummy, what are they doing?" The mother hesitates then quickly replies, "Ummm they are making cakes."

The next day they are at a zoo and the little girl sees two monkeys having sex. Again she asks her mother what they are doing and her mother replies with the same response, "Making cakes."

The next day the girl says to her mother, "Mummy, you and Daddy were making cakes in the lounge last night, eh?" Shocked, the mother asks, "How do you know?"

She says, "Because I licked the icing off the sofa."

Spoiler

A guy goes to the pub, and says to his friend "You won't believe what happened. I was taking a short cut along the railway track, and I found a girl tied to it. I untied her, and then we had sex over and over again, all the positions, everything.

His friend replies, "That's great: did you get a blow job?"

Oh, no: I never found her head.

 

[CorNokZ]

Cirkusrevyen Olga? You are seriously old..

 

[Olgaline]

Cirkusrevyen Olga? You are seriously old..

That I am,

 

[Olgaline]

ok,
it's not Sick. but ah well,

Three guys were on a trip to Saudi Arabia. One day, they stumbled into a harem tent filled with over 100 beautiful women.
They started getting freaky with all the women, when suddenly the sheik came in.

"I am the master of all these women. No one else can touch them except me.
You three men must pay for what you have done today. You will be punished in a way corresponding to your profession."

The sheik turned to the first man and asked him what he did for a living.

"I'm a cop," said the first man.
"Then we will shoot your dick off!" said the sheik. He then turned to the second man and asked him what he did for a living.

"I'm a firemen," said the second man.
"Then we will burn your dick off!" said the sheik.

Finally, he asked the last man, "And you, what do you do for a living?"


The third man with a slight grin replies, "I sell lollipops"

 

[kiliarien]

Oh well, I might as well join in, UK peeps might get it:

Spoiler

Don't shout at me!

 

[Dark Orb Choir]

I wonder why they don't do golf at the Paralymics.

I'm sure they would all have an excellent handicap.

I just had a blow job from an autistic Girl.

I have special needs too.

I asked the girlfriend what she wanted for Valentines Day. She said that she wanted to be treated like a Princess.

So I took her to Paris, got hammered on a night out, then crashed our car into a bridge support, killing her instantly.

Bi-Polar...A sexually curious bear.

 

[Zebolt]

Has anyone else noticed that "Maddie" is an anagram of "I'm dead"?

And "Die Mad" and "I add me".

How is that even a joke? It's just a question if anyone noticed the fact? :x
......I don't get it

 

[Dark Orb Choir]

Disappearance of Madeleine McCann - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

maybe you have not heard of her but its/was quite a big thing over here in the UK

 

[TheBinarySurfer]

opening post

I see you found the front page of Sickipedia?

 

[Sparx]

Disappearance of Madeleine McCann - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

maybe you have not heard of her but its/was quite a big thing over here in the UK

And most of the world

 

[tris-]

And most of the world

 

[old.Tohtori]

I could tell you a joke, but i'd get banned

 

[Lamp]

One day a nun was standing on the side of the road waiting for a cab. A cab stopped and picked her up. During the ride she noticed that the driver was staring at her.

When she asked him why, he said, "I want to ask you something, but I don't want to offend you."

She said, "You can't offend me. I have been a nun long enough that I have heard just about everything."

The cab driver then said, "Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun give me a blow job."

She said, "Well, perhaps we can work something out under two conditions. You have to be single, and you have to be Catholic."

Immediately the cab driver said, "Oh, yes! I'm single and I'm Catholic!"

The nun said, "Okay, pull into that alley."

The cab driver pulled into the alley and the nun went to work. Shortly afterwards, the cab driver started crying.

The nun said, "My child, what's the matter?"

He said tearfully, "Sister, I have sinned. I lied, I lied...I'm married and I'm Jewish!"

The nun replied, "That's okay. My name's Bruce and I'm on my way to a costume party!"

 

[pikeh]

Hardly sick, but funny

 

[sayward]

Even I laughed at that one!

 

[fettoken]

I could tell you a joke, but i'd get banned

Come on, take a walk on the wild side Tohtori.

 

[old.Tohtori]

Come on, take a walk on the wild side Tohtori.

Seriously, i've got tools at my disposal that would get me banned for eternity.

I can't just do it, because, honestly, if i do, i can't gloat about it

 

[fettoken]

Seriously, i've got tools at my disposal that would get me banned for eternity.

I can't just do it, because, honestly, if i do, i can't gloat about it

Don't worry. I would create a keyboard cat video to play it off, just for you xD And you just have to do as Fuggz.. i mean Thugs did. Use your alter ego when you return with a new nickname.