SPAM random annoying things

Overdriven

Dumpster Fire of The South
Joined
Jan 23, 2004
Messages
12,689
"We're working with the CPS on this project" - "Cool, am pretty sure I know somebody who works in their tech team."

"Oh no, not that CPS" - Oh go away.

"CPS" and "Crown Prosecution Service" are two different companies. The latter is ALWAYS shortened to "CPS"...
 

Lamp

Gold Star Holder!!
Joined
Jan 16, 2005
Messages
23,070
When you've just had a crap, then 10 minutes later you realise the trouble-maker is still up there and you gotta go again :eek:
 

Lamp

Gold Star Holder!!
Joined
Jan 16, 2005
Messages
23,070
Not suitable if you're eating

...or worse, when you're cleaning up, when its like a half-melted crayon. It never ends ! You don't so much need loo roll as a soup ladle
 

TdC

Trem's hunky sex love muffin
Joined
Dec 20, 2003
Messages
30,857
I was at a workies conference and asked a question during a presentation my mate was giving. 5 mins later the comms manager was whispering in my ear that "they" had liked my question and had I perhaps anything to back myself up with? Like the complete schmuck I am, I said "sure, I've got a presentation I give to students!". Right says the fella, come with me buddy. 10 minutes after that I was giving an unprepared, student-oriented presentation full of memes, jokes and other funny things to 300 very serious people :eek: And they loved it :eek: :eek:
 

TdC

Trem's hunky sex love muffin
Joined
Dec 20, 2003
Messages
30,857
Nice one mate! I still remember doing Glentress and Drumlanrig Castle with Will. His gentle smile when he casually mentioned "this next track is a bit ...exposed" haunts me to this day :m00:
 

Scouse

Giant Thundercunt
FH Subscriber
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
36,391
Nice one mate! I still remember doing Glentress and Drumlanrig Castle with Will. His gentle smile when he casually mentioned "this next track is a bit ...exposed" haunts me to this day :m00:
Cool. I know that feeling. :)

I don't think I ever did Drumlanrig, but Glentress was a lot of fun.

Dyfi is "level 2" though - not seen any bike park features that big outside of the Alps. That video suffers horribly from the gopro effect of making things look flat and small. But it's the "pro park" really - the Atherton's bought a mountain in Wales and built a bike park for the people who own big boy pants (including Rachel, ofc - she lives at Dyfi - saw her and her brother Dan at the weekend). That big jump at about 6:42 into the vid on "50 hits" is massive - I'm 6' 2" and it dwarfs me if I'm stood at the bottom of it. Gotta be 18 feet to the top of it.
 

TdC

Trem's hunky sex love muffin
Joined
Dec 20, 2003
Messages
30,857
haha yeah I remember Will eyeing my poncy euro bike park tyres and telling me "yeah, nah, mate" :D
 

Deebs

Chief Arsewipe
Staff member
Moderator
FH Subscriber
Joined
Dec 11, 1997
Messages
9,076,980
Buying double sided extremely strong tape on a roll and still 2 fucking cunting days longer not managing to peel the other side off, and yes you cunts, it IS double sided, I am not Teeds!!
 

Scouse

Giant Thundercunt
FH Subscriber
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
36,391
Buying double sided extremely strong tape on a roll and still 2 fucking cunting days longer not managing to peel the other side off, and yes you cunts, it IS double sided, I am not Teeds!!
My nails are too thick to do that work. It's an attack the corner of the tape job. But I feel your pain.
 

TdC

Trem's hunky sex love muffin
Joined
Dec 20, 2003
Messages
30,857
Buying double sided extremely strong tape on a roll and still 2 fucking cunting days longer not managing to peel the other side off, and yes you cunts, it IS double sided, I am not Teeds!!
tbh the sticky tape stuff you can get in NL is absolutely horrendous not gonna lie
 

TdC

Trem's hunky sex love muffin
Joined
Dec 20, 2003
Messages
30,857
its my pet peeve, don't judge me! this stuff I have is like someone who never used it before or had any idea what sticky tape is meant to do vaguely described it to some guy who proceeded to Monday morning it. this upsets me somehow. sticky tape man, I hate it.
 

Deebs

Chief Arsewipe
Staff member
Moderator
FH Subscriber
Joined
Dec 11, 1997
Messages
9,076,980
My nails are too thick to do that work. It's an attack the corner of the tape job. But I feel your pain.
I have been, I have some cuts inside so I can sit in comfort whilst I swear like a madman at the tape. It shall give up its secrets today otherwise I shall douse the roll in white spirit (dare not use petrol) and burn the fucker for being so stubborn in wanting to help me.
 

Scouse

Giant Thundercunt
FH Subscriber
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
36,391
Today I had to email the pension ombudsman. This'll be fun.
How come?

Not looking forward to all our workplace pensions having to be invested in the FTSE rather than the biggest growth areas. :(

Wish I'd started a pension in my 20's tho. So there's that. They should teach kids in school about this shit.
 

Overdriven

Dumpster Fire of The South
Joined
Jan 23, 2004
Messages
12,689
How come?

Not looking forward to all our workplace pensions having to be invested in the FTSE rather than the biggest growth areas. :(

Wish I'd started a pension in my 20's tho. So there's that. They should teach kids in school about this shit.

I should have been on top of this, but when somebody says they've done something in mega corp finance you assume they actually do it.

Asked to change pension contribs in 2021 to a higher rate. Have it confirmed in writing. Turns out they didn't. Have asked for advice and awaiting internal info now too.

3 years. Multiple salary increases. Pension fund doing 9%+ a year...

So yeah. Curious what the outcome will be.
 

Embattle

FH is my second home
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
13,365
I'll probably have to deal with the Insurance Ombudsman, once my insurance claim is finally complete.
 

Scouse

Giant Thundercunt
FH Subscriber
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
36,391
Asked to change pension contribs in 2021 to a higher rate. Have it confirmed in writing. Turns out they didn't. Have asked for advice and awaiting internal info now too.

3 years. Multiple salary increases. Pension fund doing 9%+ a year...
Should be reasonably easy for your HR department to work out what you pension should be at now given growth and compounding interest, then make a payment into your pension pot to make up the shortfall and put you back on the straight and narrow.

Of course, their obvious counter would be "why didn't you spot you weren't making extra contributions? Did you not look at your payslip?"...

...to which your answer might be (like me) - Payslip? I don't think I've ever looked at it.
 

Scouse

Giant Thundercunt
FH Subscriber
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
36,391
Fucking mother's in hospital again. Lung infection.

A while back we found out that she'd been diagnosed with dementia in 2020. The power of attourney is registered with the doctors and they've had instructions to ring me with anything pertinent since 2016. But "NHS" eh? (And I've repeatedly rung and asked them stuff).

Hey ho.
 

Wij

I am a FH squatter
Joined
Dec 23, 2003
Messages
18,375
How come?

Not looking forward to all our workplace pensions having to be invested in the FTSE rather than the biggest growth areas. :(

Wish I'd started a pension in my 20's tho. So there's that. They should teach kids in school about this shit.
I got my final salary pension (+AVCs) from HBOS bought out a few years back when the rates were really good and put it all into a private pension which I've been able to top up whilst contracting. There's been a lean couple of years on fund growth during Covid times but last year's growth was well into six figures.

If I live long enough it should pay off :)
 

Scouse

Giant Thundercunt
FH Subscriber
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
36,391
I'd like to say I was jealous, but I'm actually just pleased for ya :)

I'll either have to live in poverty or work until I drop. Most of my net worth will be tied up in my house - but it's the house I want to die in. I would very much like to spend the value of the house before I die, then hand it all back to the bank. No kids, so passing it on is something I wouldn't want to do (and my sister's kids are going to inherit so much that my house would frankly be hookers and coke money for them - a total waste). Equity release is absolute rape - and max 50% of the value of the house anyway.

Only way I'll ever downsize is if I become so disabled that I can't shuffle about my fields. But if that's the way I'm going to go there's a good chance I'll take the shitloads of heroin and a cliff route. (I'll put 10k in my pocket with a note to the mountain rescue guys that they can keep it for performing the service of scraping me off the valley floor).
 

Deebs

Chief Arsewipe
Staff member
Moderator
FH Subscriber
Joined
Dec 11, 1997
Messages
9,076,980
I started workplace pensions the moment they were launched and had several spread between different providers. With the help of my little sister we migrated to a single provider. The other thing I did whilst working was always paying the max in each month (think it was 5%) and the firm matched my contribution.
 

Wij

I am a FH squatter
Joined
Dec 23, 2003
Messages
18,375
I started workplace pensions the moment they were launched and had several spread between different providers. With the help of my little sister we migrated to a single provider. The other thing I did whilst working was always paying the max in each month (think it was 5%) and the firm matched my contribution.
I would say that would keep you in hookers and nose-candy for your retirement, but I don't think there's enough nose-candy in the world to fill your nose!
 

SilverHood

FH is my second home
Joined
Dec 23, 2003
Messages
2,292
I'm pretty jaded when it comes to pension stuff now. The healthcare costs in America is spiraling, and from what I'm reading today, is that I can expect healthcare costs to eat away most of my pension savings, if I live that long. As a European Union passport holder, I do have some options.... bail on America and move to more normalized shores. The thing then becomes.... why wait until I retire? The whole reason to participate in the rat race is to be able to afford to retire. But if we're not retiring here anyway, I don't need to be in the rat race until I'm 65 either.

One option that's also enticing, is if you work for the local government for 10 years (maybe federal government too), and retire while working there, they provide medical insurance as part of your retirement benefits. So maybe the missus or myself need to look at working for either the local government, or Uncle Sam.

Either way, I'm one of the lucky ones. Most Americans my age, who began working during the financial crises, have almost no pension to speak of. You're supposed to have 3x your salary saved by age 40. I'm just about there with 6 months to spare, and I've been aggressively saving since I was 23. There's no way a regular Joe is ever going to catch up. The way I see it, retirement is for the rich, or those working in the public sector, and most Americans will be working until they die.
 

Jupitus

Old and short, no wonder I'm grumpy!
Staff member
Moderator
FH Subscriber
Joined
Dec 14, 2003
Messages
3,332
I don't understand pensions well enough... just let 'em take what I'm allowed to out of my pay packet. Don't really expect to live that long anyway tbpfh ;) :drink:
 

Users who are viewing this thread

Top Bottom