SPAM random annoying things

[Edmond]

I also hate airports in the summer time.

People look at my GFs tits all the time cos she's a super model when she gets out of my Bugatti Veyron, I have to be in the presence of so many peasants as I make my way to my private jet.

Sucks dick!

She should wear more than her bikini when getting out of it then, I took this pic of her the other day

 

[DaGaffer]

I always put bags in the hold if the ticket has it included, even if we're only away for the night. Saves having to get half your stuff out going through security and it only adds 5 minutes either side.

Also Avoids getting your laptop out for a meeting and dragging your dirty kecks out with it. Never the best look...

Nice theory, but the one time I've checked a bag in over the last year, KLM lost it. And besides you'd never check in your laptop or tab, or phone or belt in, so you're going to be doing the strip off dance in security anyway.

 

[CorNokZ]

I hate the security check. They always make me take out the rampant rabbit I have and make me explain all the different settings etc.

Once they even confiscated the batteries which was a major bummer(actually not, it took away most of the excitement)

 

[sayward]

I'm assuming this is on a standard dvd player attached to the TV? Do they play on a pc?

Yes. haven't had time to try pc yet. Weather has been too good. would that make a difference? or will it just tell me whether the discs are rubbish?

 

[old.user4556]

I also hate airports in the summer time.

People look at my GFs tits all the time cos she's a super model when she gets out of my Bugatti Veyron, I have to be in the presence of so many peasants as I make my way to my private jet.

Sucks dick!

You're lucky, people can't admire my girlfriend's tits (well, depending on which girlfriend i've taken out for the day!!! hrhr!) because my Veyron is stacked full of £50 notes up to her neck.

My super hot valet isn't doing her job properly and cleaning my Veyron properly, IT'S SO ANNOYING.

 

[CorNokZ]

My Veyron is solid gold. Tires too. It is a rough ride, but totally worth it when I blast through the poor neighbourhoods with 250km/t while getting sucked off by whatever porn star I brought that day

 

[fettoken]

You do sniff coke from her anus i hope. I mean, it's standard.

 

[old.user4556]

You do sniff coke from her anus i hope. I mean, it's standard.

Only my gran's. Quite a chore though, involves a lot of digging.

 

[Raven]

My mum.

House is a bit of a tip at the moment, redecorating (which seems to take forever) and the wife is clearing out all her crap from her various hiding places, she is a massive hoarder. So most of the stuff is in the kitchen at the moment ready for me to take to work and dump in the skip. "oh its a bit untidy in here isn't it?" wife is away so I get called messy I am obsessively tidy!

 

[caLLous]

Lol, @Big G only has one super hot valet. What a scrote!

 

[Moriath]

I had no stress driving my car onto the ferry yesterday. Then sat down for a nice fried brekkie. Slept that off for fpur hours. Drove off and forty mins later was unpacking. Then a walk down to the harbour and some nice food ina restaurant

Today was gun emplacements, mulberry harbours and commonwealth graves.

 

[Scouse]

I, on the other hand, have been shitfaced for two days straight!

 

[DaGaffer]

Weird hot sensation in the outside of my thigh. Had it the last couple of days. Doesn't hurt, its just distracting. No idea what's causing it, probably the AIDS or dementia, or something.

 

[caLLous]

Or the dreaded dementiAIDS.

 

[Billargh]

Debolamentiaids.

 

[leggy]

Deep Vain ThrombosAIDS

 

[Tom]

I fucking hate airports in the summer time. Bloody tourists. Who doesn't know you can't take water through security in 2015? Bloody tourists that's who.

This really annoys me. You queue for security for a good 10-20 minutes, with little else to do other than talk to someone next to you, or watch everyone else go through the gates. And what do I always find? Twats who weren't paying attention expressing surprise that they have to remove their jacket. Idiots with laptops and tablets in bags. People checking their pockets for things that shouldn't be there.

It isn't difficult. I have a simple system - everything in my pockets goes into a pocket on the bag. My jacket goes into the bag. My tablet and phone come out of the bag. All this happens while I'm queuing, so that when I get to the scanner, the bag goes in a tray, the tablet+phone go in another tray, and I'm through the scanner before anyone even realises. How hard can it be?

Oh and I hate with a passion those stupid bags that people wheel around behind them. They're so far below the eyeline that I find myself constantly tripping over them. But I reserve even more hatred for the wankers in security who think that 1.5 inches is enough personal space. Jesus Christ, stand three feet behind me, not three inches you stupid cunt.

 

[DaGaffer]

This really annoys me. You queue for security for a good 10-20 minutes, with little else to do other than talk to someone next to you, or watch everyone else go through the gates. And what do I always find? Twats who weren't paying attention expressing surprise that they have to remove their jacket. Idiots with laptops and tablets in bags. People checking their pockets for things that shouldn't be there.

It isn't difficult. I have a simple system - everything in my pockets goes into a pocket on the bag. My jacket goes into the bag. My tablet and phone come out of the bag. All this happens while I'm queuing, so that when I get to the scanner, the bag goes in a tray, the tablet+phone go in another tray, and I'm through the scanner before anyone even realises. How hard can it be?

Oh and I hate with a passion those stupid bags that people wheel around behind them. They're so far below the eyeline that I find myself constantly tripping over them. But I reserve even more hatred for the wankers in security who think that 1.5 inches is enough personal space. Jesus Christ, stand three feet behind me, not three inches you stupid cunt.

I have a similar system. I don't even leave the house with change or any metal in my pockets; its all in my bag. I did get caught out a couple of times in July; I think they'd raised security levels because of the 7/7 anniversary, and my watch pinged the scanner (which has never happened before), and then it did it again on the way back and the next trip and I stubbornly kept leaving it on. Now its stopped causing an issue, but I could have just said ah fuck it and taken it off anyway.

I trip over wheelie bags all the time. I still have one though - In fact I need to go and buy a new one.

 

[old.user4556]

Double standards regarding everyday sexism.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-highlands-islands-33800206

Female only brewers with female only tasters, yet women would lose their fucking shite if it was the other way around.

 

[caLLous]

And, on a similar note, imagine if there was a National White Police Association.

 

[Tom]

Unless the businesses advertises itself as all female, I don't really see the problem. It's the news article that's made the distinction, surely?

 

[DaGaffer]

Double standards regarding everyday sexism.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-highlands-islands-33800206

Female only brewers with female only tasters, yet women would lose their fucking shite if it was the other way around.

They certainly don't seem to market themselves that way, but even using the "all-female" tag in PR is a bit crass in this day and age. I'm assuming they can get away with it because there's only a handful of people working there. If they actually discriminated against a male job applicant they'd be in trouble just like any other company.

 

[DaGaffer]

Unless the businesses advertises itself as all female, I don't really see the problem. It's the news article that's made the distinction, surely?

How did the journalist know they're all female? Through PR, which is advertising you don't pay for.

 

[Tom]

How did the journalist know they're all female? Through PR, which is advertising you don't pay for.

Perhaps the journalist was in the brewery and noticed there were lots of women in what some might consider to be traditionally, a male environment. Journalist asks question, owner says "yes, all women here", journalist claims business is "all women". Mind you, I use the term journalist loosely.

Nobody ever writes about how an abattoir or joinery business is all male when only men work there.

 

[old.user4556]

I had a google for "all female brewers". Holy shit.

Apparently craft beer has a sexist image, so lets fight sexism with more sexism! Yay!

*diet coke break, rippling abs, man with his top off* - oh look.

 

[Raven]

Having to cook for one. Wife is away at her mums for the week leaving me to do the decorating but I am incapable of cooking for one, most of the meals I cook are for 4 and we end up eating it over two days. I am not one for eating freezer crap...I think I might just get a take away.

 

[Billargh]

I think I've eaten some not properly cooked fish, not a great deal, but some. Now just gotta wait to see if I'm gonna die or not.

 

[Raven]

You could get a combo breaker and have the best clear out ever in the morning. I do like the runs sometimes.

 

[Billargh]

I can handle the shits, but I fucking hate hoying up.

 

[Raven]

I had the ultimate pooh this morning. Sat down, out it went. Felt like nothing.

Looked down and the fucker was at least 2 foot long, 1 wipe (pre shower!)