SPAM random annoying things

[Scouse]

I hate girls that try and kiss me after having my cock in their mouth. I have been told since being knee high to a grass hopper to wash my hands after touching it so no way its going in my mouth. It is why I like a blow job to be a separate act. When they are done it is teeth brushing time. If you do it during the warm up keep your mouth to yourself. That has got me in more than one argument. But I honestly would not mind being told the same after eating out.

Silly boy

I'd be stoked if I could give myself a BJ. I'd never have to go out. So I can hardly complain if women kiss me after smoking my pole - especially considering their dark caverns are one of the most bacteria-rich places on the planet and I'd dive down there faster than they could take their knickers off - or push 'em to one side

 

[old.Tohtori]

There you have it, Scouse loves the taste of cock

 

[Lamp]

Going into 3 kitchenware shops and none of them sells large mugs. And they wonder why the internet is killing the high street. Stock shit ppl want!

 

[Deebs]

So walking, well on two crutches, to my Boss' car tonight. Some fucking bint decides to run me over. She was walking as well. "Did you not see the cripple walking with crutches you fucking cunt bitch?".

I did shout at her the following "Fucking hell you bitch". She said "Sorry didn't see you". I said "Fucking cunt". Funnily there was a woman walking next to me who heard the whole lot and said she would have said what I did. Win! \o/ I am allowed to be in society.

 

[Edmond]

I am allowed to be in society.

Yes Deebs but most of the time its with adult supervision

 

[Deebs]

Yes Deebs but most of the time its with adult supervision

Cunt. Tomorrow night come round my house and cook for me and wash my cock and arsehole please. I love the softness of your tongue, just like last time.

 

[Edmond]

What time?

 

[Overdriven]

RSVP, Yes.

 

[ileks]

Pointless lights on electrical equipment. I bought a new USB wireless adapter the other day and it has the mother of all green lights on it. It really bugs me when my room is dark. My headphones also have blue lights on the side that don't go out even if the computer is off.

 

[Chilly]

Pointless lights on electrical equipment. I bought a new USB wireless adapter the other day and it has the mother of all green lights on it. It really bugs me when my room is dark. My headphones also have blue lights on the side that don't go out even if the computer is off.

blu tac

 

[MYstIC G]

How do you know it was a bot?

It said it was female and 25!

There might have been boobs.

Website selling exam papers in profile link
Registered name was basically real name, i.e. facebook profile style
Rubbish post
Rubbish profile information
Supposed female but xbox 360 profile linked had a male avatar
Supposed female
etc

 

[Edmond]

You're like Colombo...!!!

 

[MYstIC G]

*follows Edmond around asking 1000's of boring questions*

This means you've already done it you know...

 

[Lamp]

Finding out hours after you ate that chocolate bar in the car a lump of chocolate fell down and you've been walking around with an edible skid mark on your jeans.

 

[caLLous]

Turning on the TV this morning to watch the Sky +'d Grand Prix at a decent hour, forgetting that I'd left it on Sky Sports F1 HD the night before, and being greeted by the podium before I've watched the race.

 

[TdC]

Having a sweet bike in the house and the wind chill being between -9 and -14C. Currently its 1C out

 

[Raven]

Realising that I forgot to buy butter yesterday for the cake I wanted to bake.

 

[Shagrat]

Turning on the TV this morning to watch the Sky +'d Grand Prix at a decent hour, forgetting that I'd left it on Sky Sports F1 HD the night before, and being greeted by the podium before I've watched the race.

god I hate that. BBC1 really piss me off by showing all the full time scores from the football at the end of the news, so if you turn over 5 minutes early to watch MOTD it gives all the scores away, really annoying if you've been out all day.

 

[soze]

god I hate that. BBC1 really piss me off by showing all the full time scores from the football at the end of the news, so if you turn over 5 minutes early to watch MOTD it gives all the scores away, really annoying if you've been out all day.

Yeah they used to just say look away and then show them now they read them out with about 2 seconds notice. So you don't even have a chance to change the channel.

 

[Raven]

People who email you then a few minutes later come over and say "did you get my email?" then start blabbering on about it.

Fuck off, I will get to it when I get to it, you utterly pointless little muppet.

 

[old.Tohtori]

People who email you then a few minutes later come over and say "did you get my email?" then start blabbering on about it.

Fuck off, I will get to it when I get to it, you utterly pointless little muppet.

Same with people expecting a fast reply to a text message. If it's a "sits in a box to be read at first convenience" type of thing then i'll get to it when i get to it.

 

[DaGaffer]

People who email you then a few minutes later come over and say "did you get my email?" then start blabbering on about it.

Fuck off, I will get to it when I get to it, you utterly pointless little muppet.

Seems to be the new paradigm; everyone thinks they have a right to a response if they email you, and that they should have that response RIGHT NOW.

 

[Zarjazz]

I totally need an add-on for GMail for exactly this reason. Rather than a vacation message I want something that replies "Your email is number X in the queue, please wait Y days for a response .... if you're lucky."

 

[Chilly]

I totally need an add-on for GMail for exactly this reason. Rather than a vacation message I want something that replies "Your email is number X in the queue, please wait Y days for a response .... if you're lucky."

just use vacation response and tell everyone they're #53

 

[MYstIC G]

Responde with an error message. Then when people complain tell them it must be a problem with their e-mail account and to write to you in future.

 

[ECA]

My newest headphones have brokened after 13 months....

success kid - 2 year warranty.

 

[Billargh]

Going to an interview and forgetting your passport as proof of ID, ended up having to come home after being told they'll definitely be in touch. I don't believe them.

 

[Gwadien]

Going to an interview and forgetting your passport as proof of ID, ended up having to come home after being told they'll definitely be in touch. I don't believe them.

Little bit silly, wasn't it?

 

[Lethul]

I will never understand why you don't have ID cards in UK

 

[Edmond]

Had my business debit card cloned, got a call from NatWest today, some cunt had £2000 out of the account today, luckily its been stopped and will be refunded