Only in Darkest Yorkshire

Will

/bin/su
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Dec 17, 2003
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Quite frankly, this is a bit weird even for Yorkshire.

Extract from the Yorkshire Evening Post:

"A drunk who claimed he had been raped by a dog was yesterday jailed for 12 months by a judge. Martin Hoyle, 45, was arrested by police after a passing motorist and his girlfriend found a Staffordshire bull terrier, called Badger, having sex with him at the side of a road in Huddersfield, West Yorkshire.

Prosecutor Ben Crosland said the couple had stopped to help because they thought Hoyle was being attacked by the animal. But when they got closer they saw that he had his trousers round his ankles, was down on all fours and the dog was straddling him from behind.

"The defendant mumbled something about the dog having taken a liking to him," said Mr Crosland. "The couple were extremely offended and sickened by what they saw." Another passing motorist contacted the police and Hoyle was arrested as he walked with the dog down the road.

Hoyle, of East view, Marsh, Huddersfield, told police "I can't help it if the dog took a liking to me. He tried to rape me."

He repeated the rape allegation at the police station and added "The dog pulled my trousers down." Hoyle, who has had a long-standing alcohol problem, was jailed for 12 months after he admitted committing an act which outraged public decency.

His barrister said Hoyle had no memory of the incident because of his drunken state, but was now very remorseful and incredibly embarrassed.

Jailing him, Judge Alistair McCallum told Hoyle "Never before in my time at the bar or on the bench have I ever had to deal with somebody who voluntarily allowed himself to be buggered by a dog on the public highway. Frankly it is beyond most of our comprehension. It is an absolutely disgusting thing for members of the public to have to witness."
 

Wij

I am a FH squatter
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Martin got caught ?

Disgraceful. It could happen to any of us. POLICE STATE !!!
 

TdC

Trem's hunky sex love muffin
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*release wij/Dalmatian pics on the interweb*
 

Will

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I want a picture of the look on the couples faces when they realised the "dog attack" was consenting. :D
 

Trem

Not as old as he claims to be!
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When will dogs realise that no means NO

:eek:
 

TdC

Trem's hunky sex love muffin
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my only hope is that you didn't actually google for "hot dog buttsecks" :(
 

Trem

Not as old as he claims to be!
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Well....I'm going to now aren't I.

When I find it and put a link to it on here you can't edit my post either as it was you who put it in my head.

Bloody mods, set you up then knock you down :eek:

Who in the name of jebus made a Dutch/Scottish sex psycho a mod anyways...infact...Will is a jock as well....Freddyshouse is turning into the Labour party, run by barbarians for the people of England.















/me runs
 

Will

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I subscribe to the Yorkshire Evening Post for just this sort of hardhitting reporting. It tells it like it is, giving two fingers to "the man".
 

TdC

Trem's hunky sex love muffin
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Trem said:
Who in the name of jebus made a Dutch/Scottish sex psycho a mod anyways...


well you did actually, in a very indirect fashion :) and this morning I wasn't the raving sex psycho for a change* but Will, with his filthy reading up on canine carnal compatibility o0











*may be lies
 

Trem

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TdC said:
well you did actually, in a very indirect fashion :)

Did I? Hmmmm. I am great though, I do special things sometimes without knowing.

Oh don't get me started on Will, hes filth, you know what these clergy men are like, they don't wear dog collars for no reason you know.
 

TdC

Trem's hunky sex love muffin
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Trem said:
Oh don't get me started on Will, hes filth, you know what these clergy men are like, they don't wear dog collars for no reason you know.

I know man, and like, he's been to my house man, and he left a dirty sock under my table when he left :eek7:

however....

I googled "hot dirteh dog buttsecks" and found this:

doggeh.jpg
 

Will

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If you aren't careful, you might have an accident. And in true Labour style, we'd hold you for up to 90 days under anti-terror legislation. :p
 

Trem

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TdC said:
I know man, and like, he's been to my house man, and he left a dirty sock under my table when he left :eek7:

however....

I googled "hot dirteh dog buttsecks" and found this:

doggeh.jpg

*fap*

*fap*

*fap

*jis in Wills sock*
 

TdC

Trem's hunky sex love muffin
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Trem said:
*jis in Wills sock*

ROFL :D dirty bugger :D

I still have his sock though, have yet to send it to him. *ponder sock*
 

Trem

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Send it me :D

I will PM you my address if you want. I can do bad things to it and make a diary for you all to read.
 

TdC

Trem's hunky sex love muffin
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I'm sorely tempted to let you unleash your diabolical genius on Will's sock tbh. I'll need his permission though, and his shoesize to get him a new pair :)
 

Will

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I'm not taking the sock back after Trem has played with it. I wonder if Wij would have been better or worse. My money is on worse.
 

TdC

Trem's hunky sex love muffin
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well, you could send the other sock to wij and then he and Trem could compete for the most creative way of wreaking evil on your socks :)

Trem: you win Will's sock mate! congratulations :) PM me your addy and I'll send it to you in a week or so when I can walk again properly.
 

old.Tohtori

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Well, could have been worse, could have been the other way around.

This way, there was no cruelty to animals involved...i guess... :eek7:
 

Wij

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My Staffs Terrier is using Will's other sock as a condom to 'rape' me with now.

...and I had a vindaloo and 12 guinesses last night.






Do I win a prize ?
 

JBP|

Part of the furniture
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This wins the "Thread of the year award" imo :cheers:
 

Chilly

Balls of steel
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we need webcam feeds from the sock-camps. and deebs needs to set you up a sub forum for it diary style :D
 

TdC

Trem's hunky sex love muffin
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if you're not wanting to post your depraved sock torture here I'll set up a weblog for you on my site if you want :)
 

Trem

Not as old as he claims to be!
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I am now PM'ing you my address Teedles.

I hope Will blessed his sock because it will need it where its going.
 

Clown

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There was a man caught putting his penis in a peanut butter jar.
He's fucking nuts.
 

Ch3tan

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Will said:
I'm not taking the sock back after Trem has played with it. I wonder if Wij would have been better or worse. My money is on worse.

The quiet ones are always the worse. Trem has hidden depths of depravity.
 

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