My GF dumped me!

[Ronso]

It really depends what age you are. I just broke up with my girlfriend last night . We have been with each other a year and a half now and I feel because we arent going to be marrying each other ...why devote another two or three years to a lost cause ? I have loads of fun with her but our lives would be so much different if we arent together and I dont want to hold her back in the key years . She is 19 and Im 22 ..these are the times u have the most fun and want to travel and I dont want her or myself tied down and regret it when we break up in a year or whatever.

Sometimes single is just a solid option even if you occasionally feel lonely. The best thing to do is dont use all the time just to game and watch movies and be lazy . You have to make sure you get social and go out clubbing and have a few drinks ( if u drink ) every day u are used to seeing ure gf so its a really bit routine shock when she isnt there . The bottom line is it doesnt hurt HALF as much as u think it does ..its just you dont know what to do ureself and then u find youre thinking of what she is doing ..who she's with ..and then u listen to music and start thinking of them and all that .

If you are in other girls company ( not saying go score ) I just mean if ure having a bit of a flirt ..it will really take ure mind off it and it always makes ure self feel better. Great knowing that other girls are interested in you and you get over things a lot better knowing that you can have this girl or that girl and whether you chose to or not ..at least its a confidence boost in times that are a bit rough .

But again ..if ure not going to marry the girl ..I wouldnt worry to much about it . If you get with her u might pass an opportunity to go abroad or get a different job or move in with some other people that might lead to the biggest choices in ure life .

This is from my own experience and for me its gospel but to others it might not be the same . I had a girlfriend from 16 - 21 and then from 21 - 22 ...and I missed and pass up on too much and I regret it . Last night I had a talk with my gf and explained that and she understands . I feel bad because she is really upset and cried a lot and she will predictably text me to make me keep thinking of her and I dont condem it but you have to sometimes make a shitty decision to get a better outcome .

In a very non-homosexual and girly way ..dont worry about it ...hang in there ...and dont be one of those guys who keeps texting her and finding out where she is looking for a second chance at a relationship that will cost you more in your life than you will ever realise . It normally takes people 20 years to realise this and regret certain things ..if you can see it now you will be so much wiser

Best of luck -

 

[Mey]

If you care then uncertainty hurts. If you've been together some time and you've worked through problems before then its worth hanging in there and talking to find out what is wrong. Maybe outside things are putting strain on her, and its not really your relationship that is wrong. Anyway, if it doesn't work out, then you gave it your best shot and aren't left wishing you tried harder. Good luck.

That there' is the best piece of advice i've heard on OT for ages..

Better to have tried and failed than to have never tried at all.

 

[Mey]

*SNIP*

It really depends what age you are. I just broke up with my girlfriend last night . We have been with each other a year and a half now and I feel because we arent going to be marrying each other ...why devote another two or three years to a lost cause ? I have loads of fun with her but our lives would be so much different if we arent together and I dont want to hold her back in the key years . She is 19 and Im 22 ..these are the times u have the most fun and want to travel and I dont want her or myself tied down and regret it when we break up in a year or whatever.

*SNIP*

Another good point, why do we get with people who we aren't going to end up marrying? Seems pointless really..

 

[old.Tohtori]

How about people who just don't want to get married?

Or don't want to have children?

I'm one of those, and know plenty of women, who don't care much for either marriage or children.

It all comes to personal choice.

If you want to stick the rough times out, you do. One thing people forget is how selfish you can be. If you want, you can break up whenever you want, and 9/10 times the other person will survive.

 

[Huntingtons]

Another good point, why do we get with people who we aren't going to end up marrying? Seems pointless really..

to practice so when we get married we wont fuck it up royally

 

[Chosen]

Cant believe people are throwing ocmments like "get a girl who cares for you and not only for herself"...

Nobody even asked...what the f*ck did you do wrong to get dumped Chosen?

And did she say she dumped you or did she say she has to think about the relationship?

Was it a long relationship or are you just a puppyteer?

If she needs time to think, and you care for her, then give her time.

One day is a piss compared to say, let's take two months apart and see what's out there.

Well, the story is quite long. But there is nothing I did wrong. The wrong part is that she is uncertain, because she still has some feelings for her ex.

We did talk about it, and one time she actually said the same things to both me and her ex behind our backs, without us knowing that she was speaking to both of us! Everytime I asked her if she had contact with her ex, she could look me in the eyes and say no!

Well, I found everything out by myself, and it did hurt alot! I also spoke with her ex, and he told me everything she had said to him! And I told him what she have said to me.

I gave her a ultimatium, that she had to choose one of us, that I can't go on living being afraid she is meeting her ex behind my back. She got really sad, and started crying, I hang up on the phone, and like 4 hours later she called me back, and said that it was me she wanted to be with.

I said that was ok, but she had to cut all contact with her ex, atleast for a while. And she said that was ok, and everything went smoothly, we were happy. And did everything couples does(Party together, being alone watching movies/cinema, going to the beach etc etc). She seemed so happy, and so was I. Everything went so "smoothly". Untill yesterday, her best mate, started talking to my GF about her past, and told her she was really stupid and evil for all the things she had done.

Well, it made her start crying and thinking about everything. And when I asked her what the problems was, and that I wanted to help her with everything. She told me I was one of them...

So well, I asked her, and she said she still didn't know wich one of us she wanted to be with. And I told her, that it might be the best that we just ended our relationship, and I asked her if that was what she really wanted. And she said yes.

I tried to act "cold", and seemed to not care that much, I looked more relieved(I don't know why, because I was really really sad, but I felt that was the thing to do, to get her back).

So well, here I am. Trying to think out what I really want for myself, our relationship have only been for around 6-7months, but we have had soo many problems with lots of things(Her best mate etc). And we always solved the problems by ourself, and ended up together. I feel like I have known her for an eternity, but still I can't understand her! She keeps saying she still has feelings for me, but that the best thing is to end the relationship.

 

[Misleath]

So well, I asked her, and she said she still didn't know wich one of us she wanted to be with. And I told her, that it might be the best that we just ended our relationship, and I asked her if that was what she really wanted. And she said yes.

That isn't to get dumped tbh.

More time for daoc anyway.

 

[Chosen]

That isn't to get dumped tbh.

More time for daoc anyway.

It is, since I didn't really want to end our relationship. But I didn't want to put more pressure on her. So, I'm not sure how to explain it, but it is like I asked for her! Because I knew that it was that she was gonna day, but she didn't have the heart to say so.

 

[old.Tohtori]

Sorry to say Chosen, but you actually did dump her.

You dumped her and simply asked if it was ok for you to end it.

If you said "Maybe we should take a moment for ourselves to figure out exactly what we want." then you would've not dumped her.

But saying "we should end this relationship" is equal to dumping.

But, since she's thinking about it, means you might end up together. Won't be easy, will be hard as f*ck honestly, to gain the trust and it will still be different and never the same. Probably it will end in half a year or so too.

But that's individual.

 

[JoshYouAre]

What to do?

What not to do would be posting here, as not to be blunt, but noone gives a fuck.

 

[JoshYouAre]

I only said that because I am bitter about my ex.
Oh shit, I just posted about an ex on a gaming forum, that makes me like you.
:'(

 

[Misleath]

It is, since I didn't really want to end our relationship. But I didn't want to put more pressure on her. So, I'm not sure how to explain it, but it is like I asked for her! Because I knew that it was that she was gonna day, but she didn't have the heart to say so.

Well you did end your relationship. Can't see why you try to put this on her, is it for you to feel better or something?

 

[JoshYouAre]

casual sex or one night stands cant compare to sex with someone you love! or atleast thats just how i feel!

but i agree with tris aswell on the point of no amount of thinking is gonna change a emotion, only hide it maybe only to see that person and it to come out again, probley stronger. im blabbering on agian

That wasn't blabber, yours and tris- first comment about any amount of thinking won't change an emotion, you either know or you don't, were the the only worthwhile comments on a thread littered with 15 yo's banging on about sex and relationships, and general other bullshit.

 

[tris-]

aye, i speaketh the truth

 

[Darksword]

Go find a new girlfriend who actually cares about you and not only herself.

are you assuming his ex girlfriend only cared about herself?

do what you want go out and get fucking battered and attempt to drown your sorrows, or just chill back and think that it obviously wasnt ment to last then, and be happy for what you have now and just keep your eyes open, or go crazy and shag anything that comes along, or go to a prostitute or go driving or go play football.

i dont see the point in this thread? im guessing you feel lost without her?

 

[Gamah]

My girlfriend tried to dump me once, I threatened to kill her and her family so she stayed with me, we have been happy ever since.

 

[Darksword]

Going to the gym actually made me feel better after my last break up

i always find thsi a problem, i start off thinking about stuff then i just leave it and go into my stride, then after it all comes flooding abck and i just feel like shit again.

guess everyones different, ish.

 

[Bracken]

know plenty of women who don't care much for either marriage or children.

Only the ones who are already married or have children. Or they are lying and lulling you into a false sense of security...

 

[Bracken]

she still has some feelings for her ex..

It's at this point you walk away...

she actually said the same things to both me and her ex behind our backs..

It's at this point you realise she's a twat and you're making a seriously smart move by having now't all to do with her.

She got really sad, and started crying...well, it made her start crying...etc..etc..

It's at this point you learn the simple lesson that girls can start crying at will. Don't be fooled into thinking it means anything. This one's still a twat.

So well, here I am. Trying to think out what I really want for myself

What you want is a new girlfriend. There is one criteria - she must have bigger tits than your ex. And if your ex asks, yes the new girlfriend is a better shag. Got it? Good. Follow this simple advice and all will be well

 

[old.Tohtori]

Only the ones who are already married or have children. Or they are lying and lulling you into a false sense of security...

Usually might be true, but when you know people, you know how they feel.

Why would friends lul me into anything hmm?

 

[Mikah75]

Aww ok then ..

But let me know if you want to attend one they look like fun!

Spoiler

Been doing my research

Lmfao!

does look fun!
im sure i could get vlad to come, after my hours of advice and making sure he doesnt look like a hobo

 

[Lamp]

Take some time out for yourself before going on the shaft again. How old r u ?

 

[Bracken]

Why would friends lul me into anything hmm?

I can see you're new to this, so I'll explain.

It's all part of The Plan. (As devised by Eve about 3 days after she met Adam.)

Stage 1. Meet a nice chap and become his friend.
Stage 2. Convince him you don't want marriage or kids.
Stage 3. Have one of those accidental drunken evenings that "friends" have where you shag.
Stage 4. Tell him it shouldn't have happened, you were drunk and you just want to remain friends.
Stage 5. Break it to him that you are pregnant. Also tell him you don't know how it happened (usually with the line "My doctor told me I couldn't become pregnant so I'd stopped taking the pill"). Tears are of course compulsory (it stops him making "a scene").
Stage 6. Tell him you hope you can sort out maintenance in a nice friendly sort of way.
Stage 7. Screw him for every penny he's got.
Stage 8. If number of children is < 4 then identify next victim and return to Stage 1 (of course you first need to device some cock & bull sob story to explain why you have a child and why the father "isn't around").


That's why. Of course there are subtle variations - some insert additional stages between 5 and 6 called "Marriage" then "Divorce", but those are optional these days. The result is ultimately the same.

 

[Twinky]

From now on ill contact u Bracken if i have girl problems ;p

 

[old.Tohtori]

I*stuff*

Yeah, sorry, thought you were being serious there.

Nevermind.

 

[Chosen]

She keeps calling/sending SMS every half an hour now! And yesterday she tried to call me at work, but I didnt get a chance to take the phone since.. I welll, was working(Hectic day). So 5 seconds after she sent med a SMS that said something like "Just pick up the phone, it's ok if you're at a place you don't want me to know about! I don't care since we're not together anymore! But just pick up the phone!".

Right after that SMS she tried calling me almost 10 times, before I was able to take a short break and pick up the phone, and she sounded really sad then!

Well, she said she wanted to meet me today, and I really wanne see her. But Im so unsure if this is the best thing to do.

She also called me 5 mins ago, wondering if I were still sleeping.

 

[Calaen]

Dude speak to her, really fucking speak to her, get everything out on the table and discuss how you can overcome any issues you have had in the past. In order for you both to move on in a normal manner you both have to see the reasons, you should or cant stay together.

 

[Mikah75]

think of the puppies!:<

 

[Chosen]

think of the puppies!:<

My puppies are doing fine!;P

 

[Bugz]

PM me if you need any spikes... xD

<wanders off>